SoMin's POV

4 days...how did I survive 4 days without talking to anyone at all?How long do I have to continue and be like this?I'm seriously more than lonely,training is getting harder and harder everyday andI have no one to lean onto when I'm tired,I have no one to complain about how the girls treat me during our practices,I have no one to talk about my feelings too.Bong is our whole trainee batch's manager,I can't always bother him for nothing or the girls will treat me worse...And I feel bad to bother SeungJo too...especially he got mistaken as Hyun Joong oppa last time....I'm left with myself already,I wonder if i cn fight this battle alone...and how long more can I survive...

I can't do this anymore,I can't...

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No One's POV

At the practice room...

"Hey girls,I was told to confiscate you phones again.Anna, help me collect them after your practice okay.Bye,work hard!" Joongu shouted across the room before he went out.

"Arrasso oppa!" Anna replied.

After practice...

"Hey girls,you guys heard what oppa said just now right?Mianhae,Pass me your phones now."

Everyone passed Anna their phones and she started counting them.

"...15,16,17....no more? You guys sure you passed all of your phones to me?" she asked.

"Neh!" They replied.

"I think we are missing one.Let me count...hm...there are really 17 of you here.If I include myself,that would be 18,someone is missing.We have19 trainees...don't we?"

The rest of the trainees started looking around to see if anypne was missing, then finally they found out who it was.

"Jung So Min?She dares to not come for practice?After all those nonsense?Well...no wonder,the air in this room today is so fresh!"

"kekekeke" here were giggles and chuckles around everyone in response to what Anna said.

"I will report this to oppa..Okay,you are dismissed for lunch!"

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SeungJo's POV

Aish,she didn't even text me for 4 days...I'm getting really bored...I wonder what she is doing right now...Maybe I should go check out the basement?They are just released for lunch,then I will most probably see her right?

"Oppa,here,the phones.Jung So Min didn't attend the practice in the morning so I didn't collect her phone.Deduct the points from her,how dare she skip the practices..." I heard Jin Anna say from the stairs.

"Well...Then I would have to see if she attends the practices after lunch.Maybe she wasn'tfeeling well in the morning." Bong replied.

"Arrasso...But if she dosn't remember to remove the point okay!"

"Go and have your lunch,its none of your business."

"Arrasso."

SoMin didn't go for practice thismorning?This really isn't like her...I thought she she wouldcontinue to act cheerful and go for practice and forget about what happened that day....I thought she wouldn't give up...What exactly has happened to her?No way...I have to find this out myself...

"Yah Bong!"

"Oh,Hyun joong.What is it?I'm your hyung by the way..."

"Fine,Hyung,which is Jung So Min's room?"

"I can't tell you if you don't have a good reason."

"Fine I will find it myself."

I begin to open the first twodoors along the corridor to find it.

"Yahyahyah,stop it.I will tell you."

"Which is it?"

"The last second room at that corner..."

I ran towards that room and opened the door only to find that babo lying on the ground,unconscious.

"Yah...babo...yah Jung SoMin!Wake up!yahh you..." I tried to shake her awake but to no avail.

I felt like I aged 10 years, I was so shocked.Don't tell me she attempted suicide?I was so afraid that I would lose SoMin..I was so scared.I looked at her wrists, there were no cuts on them,then I looked around her for pills...There was one bottle,uncapped lying on the ground less than a metre from her...

"Yah babo yah...Jung Somin, why did you do that?How could you do that to me?I don'taccept this...You better wake up now,you better!" I said as tears begein to fill between my eyelids...I shouted at Bong who was at the corridor to call for the ambulance.

"How could you...you better wake up now, or I will get bored...I will get angry if I get too bored and I will be even mener to you...Baboya,you can't just leave me here alone...yah...why aren't you waking up...do I really have to say that out to make you wake up?yah..." my tears started to drop onto her face.

I picked her up to hug her as tightly as I could.

"What do you have to say out?" I heard a whisper.

"Yah SoMin ah!" I released her slightly so that I could see her face and avoided the question naturally.Luckily I didn't say it out...

"Aish uljima SeungJo yah...I'm not dead yet." She said weakly as she wiped off my tears.

"Yah babo...why did you do that?"

"What did I do?"

I pointed to the bottle of pills.

"They are medicine pills for fever...I have fever...I guess I fainted even before having them...Don't worry,I didn't attempt suicide."

"Yah you scared me...But are you okay now?"

"I'm fine...What about you?You have not answer my question from just now."

"What?"

"Stop avoiding it and answer me."

"I was only saying that to make you wakeup and reply me...what,were you expecting me to say that I like you?No way..."

"No,I wasn't.But it was probably that isn't it?"

"In your dreams."gosh...how did she know...But I was just temporarily brainwashed by my bored feelings to even think that.

"The ambulance is here!" Bong shouted and carried SoMin out before I could.

It was only after 10 seconds that he realised that SoMin was awake.She explained everything to him and he put her down in the end asking her to go back and rest.The ambulace also came for nothing...But well,we were all relieved that it wasn't what we thought.So she came back into her room and asked a very unexpected question.

"By the way,why are you here Baek Seung Jo..."

"I...Aish...go and rest first before asking questions that don't make sense because you don't even know what you are asking."

"Really?Arrasso..."

And she went to her bed to slept after having the medicine while I prepared water and towels to put on her forehead to lower down her body temperature.

She must be so tired and having such a hard time that shes even sick now...I'm so worried for her, theres still a very long journey ahead of her to go.I just hope she gets well soon...I took of the towel on her head to feel her forehead's temperature before rinsing it again and putting it back on her head after brushing her fringe off her face.Resst well SoMin ah....

"Yah Kim Hyun Joong,your manager says you have an event,I will take over." Bong said as he came int he room.

"Arrasso,take care of her."

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Joongu's POV

"Seungjo...Where is Baek Seung Jo?He was here just now..."

"SoMin ah...he wasn't Baek Seung Jo...Hyun Joong was here instead."

"What?But it was Seungjo!I swear,I saw him,I even talked to him..."

"I supposed SeungJo is the guy you were with the last time.You must have mistaken because they look alike..."

"But he IS SeungJo...he talks and acts exactly like SeungJo.Hyun Joong oppa wouldn't act like that, we are as good as strangers..."

What if what she said was right....It looks like Hyun Joong is Bake Seung Jo...all those weird incidents of Hyun Joong apparing from nowhere when someting happens to SoMin...And all those times when SoMin was out Hyun Joong goes missing too...Now that I think of it, it is highly possible that they are the same person...

"SoMin ah, maybe you wasn't fully conscious when you saw him so you probably thought it was SeungJo."

"Did I?Really?Maybe I guess...Maybe I heard him wrong...Maybe I saw him wrong...Maybe I was drreaming about him again..."

Haish Somin ah...If its really true that they are the same person...I wonder how would you feel.Thoroughly hurt?By the man you think of, care of and liked so much that you can dream of him?Poor girl...

"Hey Bong, I'm back.Oh, SoMin,you're awake!Are you feeling better?"

"Neh oppa, thanks for your concern."

"Oh Hyun Joong...Didn't I tell you to call me Hyung like you did last time?"

"Sorry...I'm glad shes fine now.Thanks Hyung."

"Why thank me...Come with me."

I pulled him outside the room and to the other corner of the corridor where no one can really see or here us.

"I don't know if I should say this but don't you dare to ever hurt her feelings."

"Why would I?"

"I'm not sure,but from what I see,you are the Baek Seung Jo that shes been talking about."

"I'm Kim Hyun Joong,Hyung."

"I don't care about your identity, just don't hurt her."

"But who are you to tell me that?I know what I'm supposed to do."

"I'm her manager.Then I'm glad that you know."

"Manager...are you sure you are just her manager or do you have feelings for her?"

"I said I'm her manager,thats enough for a reason."

"Then what about Noona."

"You don't need to worry about this.Just worry about youself."

"Hyung..."

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Baek Seung Jo's POV

"Yah Kim Hyun Joong." I hear my manager's voice from behind.

"Oh hyung..."

"I heard all of it...I think I need an explanation too."

"Hyung,even you doubt me?"

"Yes...I don't even need to doubt you,I know you are lying.."

"Then why do you still ask?"

"Oh come on Hyun Joong,I will keep it a secret for you." he then whispered, "I know you like that girl."

"Hyung!I don't!"

'Stop denying,if not don't tell me you are really that Baek Seung Jo?That why you acted like that all these times?"

"I'm Baek Seung Jo,how about that?" I actually told him the truth.

"Do you think I will believe that nonsense?I even live with you!I heard what happened from Bong...seems like you like her alot!"

"I knew you were useless..."

"Yah!I know everything about you okay!"

"Yeah,you act like you know everything about me..."

I walked away.I can't believe him.He's my manager,he is supposed to know everything about me and yet its like totally the opposite of Bong,who don't really even know me...but yet knows the truth...And he still calls himself my manager haiss...

But why am I feeling afaraid?Afraid that this secret would be revealed?I mean what if the whole world know that I'm Baek Seung Jo?Thats just revealing that I actually have another name, or I have a 'real' name...or even if I tell the whole story to the world,that I'm not Kim Hyun Joong,I'm not afraid to explain the whole thing at all...It wouldn't really affect me much even though it may be seemed as lying to the world...I had the confidence to face all the complications even before I decided to do this...But why am I feeling this way?Is it because I'm afraid that I would hurt the people's feelings?all those who trusted me?The fans?No, i don't think so, or isit just because of someone?Am I afraid to hurt her feelings?I guess I am...for me to be feeling this way...But who is she,who is she such that shes so special,when I fear to hurt only her feelings,not the others?

I think I told a big lie...a lie that is so big that if I told the truth,I will never be forgiven,and I will be hated.I don't care.I don't care if others hate me....Just not her...I don't even know if I can continue living fearlessly if I'm not forgiven by her, or if i'm hated by her.If shes not by my side anymore,if she leaves me...

What?What am I thinking?I can't live without her?Sure?yah BaekSeung Jo...Stop thinking these nonsense...you are Baek Seung Jo,the mighty one, the fearless one,and the smartest one...How could you not survive without her?

I'm confused really really confused...I pn't thinki I can even trust myself now...I have opposing thoughts,or should I say opposing mind and heart?My mind is always right,following all laws,principles,reality and being practicaland I always follow it...But why?Why do I feel that I have to trust my heart this time round?That if I don't i would be terribly hurt by myself,my own feelings...

Aish...i don't wanna care anymore...I will just do whatever I want,what ever that comes to my mind first...

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SoMin's POV

"SoMin ah,I've talked to boss for you..."

"For me?"

"It hurts me to see you like this as a manager,especially you came alone by yourself all the way here,without your family ad friends."

"And?"

"So I talked to boss to make things better for you."

"How?"

"I see that Jin anna and the girls have been making you an outcast since the HyoRi incident and you don't have a good relationship with them at all,so it will be really hard and lonely for you to continue trainingwith them and even debut as a group with any of them.You can't possibly change their minds in such a short time right?"

"Yeah you are right..."

"So I made boss change is mind for abit to debut a solo first.But he disagreed because if we were to debut you first,I'm afraid you will need alot more training.So he offered to debut you as an actress first...How's that?"

"It sounds great but I don't just want to be an actress..."

"I know its not your original dream,but you can debut as an actress first then continue training to become a singer.Because you are already very skilled enough to be an actress,so it will be easier for you to debut as an actress in a shorter period time."

"I agree."

"So that is you decision?Look oppa just want to make your life easier for you,at least you wouldn't have to face all that loneliness and exhaustion for you to be this sick.I want you to debut faster because currently its impossible to make friends in here,we only have you girls as trainees.So I rather you debut and make friends with others out there.You will be much happier at least."

"Okay oppa,I agree to this plan.I don't want to be in this emotional pain anymore, its tiring,its hard for me..."

"Okay,thats great!call!"

"Orh, Call!"

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So How was this chapter?Hope you enjoyed reading!Please comment!I love your comments!Thank you for reading...hmmm I wonder how would seungjo's secret be revealed...And how would SoMin react to it...I will try to update soon! n YAY! MAMA would be aired tomorrow,or should I say later?Anyways,I really anticipate the performances,what about you guys?I really wanted SHINee to win the daesang again tho  I think they deserve it,but Shinhwa(they are not bad too) is leading...Just my opinion, I hope you guys enjoy the show too!