SULLI

Twist of fate.
I was then ready to wait for him even though it will take him forever, suddenly, the willingness I have has grown weary.

Three days before paying a visit to Taemin’s house, I was rushed to the hospital. No one knows of course, only Luhan.

We jogged so hard that morning that I almost out of breathe. I run as though there were no tomorrows. Afterwards, I collapsed. Next thing I know, I am at the clinic. Beside me is Luhan.

I asked him what happened and he told me everything. The doctor came and advised me that it’s better to ask for another doctor’s opinion about my illness.

Illness. Yes. I am not healthy. Eversince then. There is nothing but illness that comes running to my body.

I asked another doctor’s opinion. That same day, Luhan insisted me to go to the nearby hospital.

Fatal as it appears to be, I have a coronary heart disease and it is on its severe stage. I need a heart transplant as soon as possible. Another problem is that there is no available donor. And the only hope I have is miracle. That’s what my doctor says.

And if there’s an available heart donor, it will costs equivalent to the total amount of the properties of the richest tax payer in the country. We can’t afford that.

I was surprised. Anyone could be surprised. Who won’t? Luhan who heard everything became frantic as well. He panicked more than I do. The first thing that came to my mind is to -----

Actually I don’t know.. upon hearing what the doctor said, my mind became blank and no information is processing. I am doomed.

Luhan became speechless as well. We can’t say anything. I walked away instead and the last thing I know, I was outside our house. Planning what to do next but planning isn’t helpful..I I’ll die anyway.

The next morning, Luhan called me. He asks if I am fine… of course not.. I won’t be fine.
He told me that it’s better to tell this thing to my parents but I hesitate. I don’t want them to worry, my mom especially. But he insisted, that causes me to get mad at him.

I know very well that if there’s atleast one person who should know, that would be my mom. But it’s hurtful to see your mom crying because of you. I can’t stand to see my mother crying or hurt because of her only daughter in the world is dying.

Honestly speaking, my mom and dad are not in good terms, they always fight about money. I can’t even afford to tell them what’s going on with me, because it is again, something to be related to money. My illness is expensive.

Days go on and I feel weaker. I went to see the doctor again to take the initial treatment silently.
He recommended me medicines to take up daily – two different kinds of capsules in the morning and one at night. A regular check up every week and a list of do’s and don’ts. As far as I concern, these things are no longer tolerable. My doctor needs to see me next week for the result of my medicine intake. Medicine alone is expensive.

A day after my check up I’ve decided to see and talk to Taemin.

He didn’t expect someone like me knocking on her front door, but I know for a fact that he’s happy to see me.
Yes, I can feel it.
But the more that I see him being so happy around me, the more that it hurts me… I k