#83 – Monopoly

It was a silent apartment that Kibum returned to after grocery shopping.  

A ringing sound seemed filled his ears as he emptied the bags and put his purchases away, the kind of noise that your body seems to supply on its own in absence of anything else so that things are very truly silent. 

He pulled out his phone to check if he had any messages – none.

Of course, why would anyone be calling him now?  It’s a Tuesday, everyone he knows is out working for their living.

He flopped onto the couch and clicked on the TV, thumbing through some mindless shows and home shopping networks before leaving it on the news to serve as background noise if nothing else. 

It had been two years since he left his job as a designer at one of the top design firms in the country.  He had used those two years to reconnect with his family.  To rebuild the bonds that he had unintentionally weakened in the wake of his reaction to his grandmother’s death. 

For those two years, he had spent time with his children, and rebuilt trust with his husband and he was proud now to say that his marriage and family were as strong as they had ever been, and that that period of his life was now mostly just a dark temporary shadow on their history that they had worked their way through.

And in this time something had happened that he had feared never would – he had reconnected with his mother.  It was still a slow affair, and they would never be as close as they had been when Kibum was younger, but the children had come to know their grandmother at least.  He still didn’t feel comfortable leaving them with her as a babysitter, and a part of him thought sadly that he probably never would, but she was invited to birthday parties and Christmas and the occasional family dinner.

A lot had happened in those two years. 

But now there was nothing to do.

Taemin was spending most of this week actually in the office in the building up for a big story.  Jinae was well into Elementary School now and he was used to her not being home, but this year little Munhee, his little boy who had done so much to bring Kibum back to his senses anytime that it all seemed too hard.  The little boy that Kibum had cared for and played with every day since he had left his firm; that little boy was starting full day Elementary School now.  For the first time in years he was left to his own devices to fill his time. 

For about a month it was really exciting.  He slept in until whenever he was finished sleeping – a new and utterly amazing experience for him.  He finally caught up on a couple of movies that he had wanted to see and marathoned his way through a couple of dramas that some of his friends had been in but he had still missed when they aired due to the realities of life and having children. 

He started painting and drawing again because he wanted to and not because he had to in order to meet some deadline that would probably be pushed back anyway. 

For about a month life was bliss.

But that saying, “Too much of a good thing,” may be onto something.  Sleeping in ‘till all hours of the morning was starting to feel like a waste of time.  And puttering aimlessly around the apartment was more of a bother now then a license to do whatever he pleased. 

Time is everything in Korea.  Everyone is always balli-balli, on the run to get from one place to another and desperate to not waste any unnecessary time.  Everyone in his life had something that monopolized their time.  Taemin had his work.  Jinae and Munhee had school.  His friends and family had their lives and families.  Kibum was the only one who held his time completely in his own hands.  And as alluring as that freedom was – it was a little terrifying too.  After a life of always having something to do…not he felt aimless, like he was floating along and it wasn’t necessarily a good feeling. 

Kibum sighed again and padded softly to Taemin’s study, entering and pulling an envelope out of the trash bin there. 

When the request had come a few days ago Kibum had dismissed it without much thought.  But as his boredom grew, so too did his intrigue at the idea.

He glanced almost fondly at the SM Entertainment logo embossed on the corner of the envelope before pulling out the letter once more.

Mr. Kim Kibum,

The board of SM Entertainment hopes that this letter finds you and your family well.

Kibum had to admit, he had been tickled that SM had included his family in the letter, but the company should know how important it was too him.  He had risked his entire career on his relationship against the company’s wishes.

Recently we have been re-evaluating our trainee procedures and staffing and are trying to update the program to provide the best possible training for our trainees and help them transition better to the life of an entertainer.

Kibum smirked.  Yeah, and the courts yelling at them again about idol and trainee conditions had nothing to do with their changes he was sure…

As someone who went through trainee with our program and had a successful career under our tutelage and has adjusted well to life after being an idol, SM Entertainment would like to offer you a position on the committee that is re-engineering our program, as well as an advisory or instructor role in the final product as our new training regime goes forward.

Kibum had always thought it was funny that they asked him and not anyone else in SHINee…all of whom met the criteria that they laid out.  But then Kibum realized that he was the only one of them who also seemed to be out of work at the moment.  While he had left his previous job voluntarily, after realizing how it merely added to the toxic nature of his life at that particular moment, he did miss having something to do everyday and being part of a team to bring something to fruition.

If these is a position that would interested you, please contact us within the next week to work out details and conditions.

We are anxiously looking forward to being able to work with you once again.

The board signed off the letter with a generic salutation and Kibum laid the letter down on Taemin’s desk, sitting in the chair that squeaked loudly in protest and Kibum thought idly that it was time to find a new chair for his husband. 

He tapped his fingers against the worn wood of the desk, eyes trained on the paper as though it was going to do some kind of fantastic trick.  He bit his lower lip slightly as he worked it through in his mind.

Could he really go back to SM?  Would it help the trainees for him to be a part of their pop education? 

He was so focused and lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice Taemin coming in until the man’s shadow fell across the desk. 

Kibum’s head shot up, eyes immediately finding his husband’s.

“What are you doing home?”  He asked out of surprise.  It was the middle of the day after all.

Taemin smiled and held up a take-out bag in his left hand.  “Lunch break – I thought I would surprise you.”

Kibum smiled gently at his husband’s actions. 

Taemin used his free hand to turn the paper on the desk around.  “The offer from SM?”  He questioned, looked up at Kibum again.

The older man sighed, “I’m thinking about it.  The kids aren’t here all day anymore and I’m feeling a little…”  Kibum trailed off, unsure of how to say it.

“Lonely,” Taemin said softly with an understanding look towards his husband. 

Kibum quirked one side of his mouth, “Maybe that’s it.  But also a little useless…I’m so used to being a part of something – it would be nice to have that again…”

Taemin wrapped one sturdy hand behind Kibum’s head, gently tugging the man forward until Taemin could lean down and lay a gentle kiss to his crown.  “If it will make you happy – go for it!”

Kibum smiled at how supportive his husband was.  If their roles had been switched and Taemin was the one who had left his work environment behind, Kibum would be a little apprehensive about letting someone he loved out to face that kind of world again.  But Taemin had more faith in Kibum than the man had in himself it seemed.

Taemin tugged Kibum up out of the chair to anther eye-squinting squeak.

“You’re getting a new chair!” Kibum announced with a little of his Diva assuredness back in his voice, like he knew no one would ever bother arguing with him knowing it to be a loosing battle. 

Taemin laughed, his head thrown back and shoulders rolling and Kibum smirked.  Around everyone else, Taemin put up his hand to hide the expression, but around Kibum, Taemin never hid and never held back. 

When it came to Taemin – Kibum had the monopoly.  He was the sole owner of every laugh and smile that graced the other man’s face.  And Taemin had full monopoly over him.

Kibum allowed himself to be tugged towards the kitchen where Taemin pulled out jajjangmyeon from a little shop near their apartment.

Kibum smiled at the innocent glee on Taemin’s face as the other man stirred up the dark mess of noodles and sauce.  Kibum snorted softly and set to mixing his own messy lunch.

“I’ll call SM the afternoon and ask for a little more detail.” Kibum said calmly before digging in to his meal.

Taemin smiled, a messy smile with dark brown sauce smeared around his lips. 

“Sounds good Bummie,” and he reached the hand free from chopsticks across the table to cover Kibum’s own. 

And Kibum thought having something to do with his time was exactly what he needed anyway.