I'm really proud of this one for some reason.  It was one of those ones that kind of came out of nowhere and I just sat down and wrote it out in a couple of hours. 

#15 – Soothe

Kibum’s eyes flew open.  He was lying in his bed, with Taemin curled up next to him and the apartment was quiet.  Nothing was moving or bumping in the night.

So why was he awake?

He hadn’t had a nightmare, he was sure of that.  Even if he didn’t remember the dream he would have felt the fear when he woke up that was left residually from his unconscious state. 

Taemin hadn’t kicked or elbowed him in his sleep; as he was want to do. 

He couldn’t think of what it was. 

He was just suddenly awake.  Perfectly, totally and completely awake.

He couldn’t have fallen back asleep right now if he tried. 

Taemin grunted next to him in bed.  The younger man was lying on his stomach, with his head turned away from Kibum on the pillow.  The grunt was soon followed by a small moan and suddenly Taemin was pushing himself up on to his elbows and looking about the room – his face contorted in a sleepy confusion with one eye closed and he turned his head around and met Kibum’s gaze.

“Wha time iz it?” he mumbled, rubbing one hand down his face in an effort to walk himself up.

“Hmmm,” Kibum hummed looking over at the clock on his bedside table, “About three in the morning…”

“Why are we awake?” Taemin asked as he turned himself over and sat neck to Kibum, wrapping one arm around the other man’s waist and pulling him in close.

“I was asking myself just that question before you woke up.” Kibum stated lightly.  “I’m not sure what woke me up…and I usually sleep through the night just fine…”

Taemin just shrugged and held the other man close. 

Then they heard it.

“Waahhh!”  A high, short cry coming from their three month old daughter’s room.

Both men were instantly alert and jumping to their feet.

“That wasn’t a hungry cry…” Kibum mumbled.

“Not a diaper change either…” Taemin added.

Both men had quickly learned to tell their daughter’s cries, like every parent.  They knew the hungry cry, from the dirty-diaper cry, from the I’m-bored cry, from the I’m-hurt cry, from the pick-me-up cry.  But this one was none of those.

As sudden as it started, it already rang through their ears, as the raced to her nursery.

There Jinae lay her face completely red and scrunched up in pain, wailing as loud as her little lungs would allow.  Her knees were pulled up against her chest and her little arms curled at her side and ending in clenched fists.  Small wisps of hair stuck to her forehead from the sweat her body had broken out into.

This was not the first time the men had seen their little angel like this.

“Colic…” muttered Taemin as he bent to pick up the pitiful child and Kibum searched for a clean pacifier. 

“Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh…” Taemin muttered as he swayed back and forth, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. 

Both Minjung and Kibum had been colic-y babies, and poor little Jinae was seemingly following in her families’ footsteps. 

When she was about one month old she started to have episodes of colic.  Hours-long periods of unstoppable and uninterrupted crying and wailing.

In the beginning Kibum and Taemin had completely over-reacted.  Thinking that there was something terribly wrong with their daughter they had rushed to the hospital only to be told that with colic all they could really do was try and sooth the baby and wait it out.  It would only last a few hours.  The bouts usually lasted 2-4 hours, at the end of which both fathers and daughter were completely exhausted. 

Taemin supported Jinae’s neck and head as he continued his gentle bouncing motion and continued shushing sounds.

Kibum returned with a pacifier still wet from being washed in the bathroom sink.

“Hey there baby girl,” Kibum said gently, patting down the damp head of his daughter, “Here’s your binky.”

Jinae hiccupped and moaned mournfully before bursting into a new round of wails, turning her face away from the offered pacifier and curled her head against Taemin’s chest. 

“Guess that one won’t work today…” Kibum mumbled.  They had learned all sorts of tricks to trying to sooth Jinae when she was like this, but not all of them worked every time.  Last time the pacifier had worked well enough.  Jinae had clearly still been unhappy and uncomfortable, but she had quieted faster than usual. 

“Let’s try having her on her side…” Taemin suggested.

Kibum sat down in a rocking chair that sat next to Jinae’s crib and Taemin gently lowered their daughter down into the older man’s lap.  Turning her on her side so that her back was against Kibum’s abdomen, Kibum supported her head with his right hand and rubbed gentle circles on her stomach with his left.

She continued to cry and fuss but Kibum kept at it.  Taemin had left the room and returned with a small bowel of lukewarm water and a soft cloth.  He dunked the cloth into the bowl and rang it out.  Setting the bowel on the floor, he kneeled in front of the rocking chair and gently started to pat down and wash their daughter’s head and face. 

They knew enough not to be disheartened that she did not immediately still.  Instead, they kept at it and watched as she started to calm. 

Occasionally they would sing to her, baby rhymes and even smooth renditions of their SHINee songs, or just continue shushing sounds.  All the while Taemin kept rubbing and cooling her down, and Kibum gently rocked the chair and making circles on her tummy. 

Eventually, just shy of two hours after the cries began, Jinae hiccupped once and gave a shuddering sigh before they subsided completely. 

The little girl was clearly exhausted and her big brown eyes looked up at her daddies as though asking why her?

“Alright baby,” Taemin began, lifting her out of Kibum’s lap, ignoring the sharp pain in his knees that came when he stood up after kneeling on the wooden floor for so long.  “We’re going to change you into some clean and dry pajamas and get you back in bed. 

And Jinae, who was usually so lively and always kicked and giggled through every clothing and diaper change, moved lethargically and didn’t interrupt as Taemin stripped her of her onesie and changed her diaper while he was at it before putting her in a new one.

By this time Kibum reappeared, having left to change into a different set of pajama bottoms since his were covered in baby drool and tears and the water from Taemin’s cloth. 

“How’s my little girl?” He cooed softly, picking her up from the changing table as Taemin took care of putting the dirty clothes in the hamper. 

“It’s all okay now,” he said gently as he walked her back over to her crib. 

Her eyelids drooped shut as her exhaustion from crying seeped through her body. 

“It’s alright little one.  Appa loves you.”  He kissed her head gently and repeated, “Appa loves you.”

“And so does your Papa,” Taemin whispered, laying a kiss of his own to her crown before Kibum laid her down back in her crib. 

The two men stood there for a moment watching her sleep before their own weariness forced them to head back to their own bed.

Kibum laid down first as Taemin made his way around the bed to his side, before sliding in and laying his head on Kibum’s shoulder.

“Now I know what my mother was talking about…”  Taemin mumbled, as he shifted trying to get comfortable once again.

“What do you mean?”  Kibum asked idly, sleep already beginning to pull at the corners of his eyes.

“My mom used to tell me that she would wake up in the middle of the night, right before Taesun or I woke up sick.  It even happened on sleepovers – she’d wake up right before she got the call from another child’s mother to pick us up because we were sick.”  Taemin wrapped his left arm around Kibum’s torso and smiled gently, his eyes not even able to stay open anymore.

“Hmmm…guess, my instinct’s better than yours.  I woke up first.”  Kibum said, teasing slightly.

“Not better, just faster.”  Though it sounded more like “Nah beher, jus fazzer…” as Taemin had fallen off to sleep at the end.

Kibum kissed Taemin’s head lightly and finally fell back to sleep himself.

All three of them slept in the next morning…which in the house of a newborn meant 8AM…but it was enough. 

So that thing Taemin says at the end - that is something that my mom has been known to do.  Especially when my sisters and I were small, she would wake up before us when we were sick and be ready to help us and take care of us.  It's really sweet now that I think about it and I like the idea of them being so intune with their daughter that they would be like this too. 

I was at a friend's house once in high school when her little brother (a few months old) whom her parents had left home with us to look after had colic.  It was terrifying for me since I had never known a baby with colic and the way the baby screams...you just want to do anything that will make them feel better.  She told me about the 5 S's:

1. Swaddling
2.  side or stomach (lay the baby on their side or stomach)
3.  Shhh sound
4. Swing baby with slight jiggling movement (but only once and very gently)
5. (give the baby something to on like a pacifier or even a finger)

All you can do is try to sooth the baby and calm them down and wait it out.  The good thing is with colic is it usually only lasts for the first few months of the child's life, but it can be exhausting for all parties involved.

Just as a reminder - I am out of female Korean names so if you know of any and their meanings, please drop them in a comment for me!

Thanks for reading and please comment!