When I was first starting to set things out for this project, this is what I wrote down for this one: Love and friendship through words and pages, not kisses and hugs. 

I wrote one from all 5 of our boys.  Don’t consider these in any particular chronological order; I really didn’t think that far ahead while writing these.

#76 – Letters

Hosook,

One more month and I will have finally finished my military service.  One more month until I can actually see you whenever I want and not just for a few days while I am on leave or through the pictures I carry around with me.  Knowing that the date is so close makes it seem all the further away. 

I hope that you are well.  I know you said that planning our wedding would give you something to do while I am gone, but I hope that you are not getting stressed out about it.  I will help you soon so just wait a little bit longer.

I know that if I don’t tell you this, you will somehow find out on your own and tear into me for it, but I got hurt this week.  I slipped down an embankment during drills and sprained my ankle pretty badly.  They have me in a temporary protective boot right now, but it should be coming off soon.  I know you told me to be careful but hey, it’s me!  It just wouldn’t be right somehow if I didn’t have a major attack of clumsiness at some point, and I managed to make it pretty far without one so far.

All joking aside, I miss you and I’m counting down the days until my discharge so that I can see you again.  I don’t care about the big party the fans will throw and the big deal that the press is going to make of my release.  I just want to be able to hug you again and talk to you and kiss you. 

So, until that day,

Saraghaeyo,

Jinki

P.S. – as of when I wrote this the countdown is 30 days.

29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 HOME!

*****

Yeobo,

Come home.  Now.  Seriously.

Okay, not seriously, but I still want you home. 

I miss you.  The apartment feels so empty without you here.  I keep waiting for you to walk through the door with your big smile on your face, telling me something weird or interesting that happened today.  Or for your voice to call through the apartment asking me to help you find your phone because you’ve lost it again and then I’ll just laugh... 

Taemin, I miss you terribly.

But I love you and know that you need to do this.  You need to grow into your own person, and be your own man.  I understand, but I don’t have to like it. 

I hope that you are going out and making friends there.  You are shy and I worry that you will just hide away in your room all the time.  That defeats the purpose you know.  Go out and enjoy life there.  America is a great country and a lot of things are open to you there.

And I know that we Skype all the time and so this letter was kind of unnecessary, but I felt the need to physically have a record of this somewhere.  Of my missing you, and of my need to contact you filling me all the time – not just when we talk through webcams.

I enclosed a picture of Jonghyun and me.  He was on his first leave since joining up for service and we went out to a Noraebong and he got drunk off his – not that that ever really takes much.  He decided to wear the beer pitcher as a hat…lord knows why.  But I thought that it would make you smile.  He’s probably acting like some of your classmates.

Stay safe!

I love you,

~Bummie~

*****

Bro –

The Marines are tough!

But I wanted a challenge right?  I sure as hell got one.  Training is killer and some days I wish that I had taken the easy way out and applied for civil service instead.  But I have the feeling that I’m going to like it here anyway.

My unit is tight.  The guys are all younger than me though; most have just graduated from high school and decided to get their service out of the way early.  They’ve started calling me Dad because of the .  A couple of them can beat me in the obstacle training courses and they get a kick out of beating the Dream Team Ace.  Maybe of them used to watch me on the show as children – it’s really a weird experience to be told that they cheered you on in between their Sunday morning cartoons.

I hope that you and mom and dad are doing alright.  I’m due a leave around Chuseok so we should all get together then.

Missing you guys,

Minho

*****

Fox,

You are lucky. 

You would go crazy in service; maybe it’s a good thing that they won’t let you.

Though some of the retentive nature of the military does suit you now that I think about it. J  The way that everything has to be in its specific place and the uniform has to look just so – actually it sounds exactly like you.  (: P)

All kidding aside, thanks for picking me up for leave.  It means a lot knowing that there is someone there waiting for you on the other side of that gate. 

I know I usually get rowdy, but hey – they don’t let us drink in here!  Thanks for putting up with me anyway.  But I know that you are passing the stories on to Taemin…and I can’t even really be mad at you for that.

I feel kind of bad.  You got left alone all at once.  Jinki and Minho were already in doing their service, and then I went in days after Taemin left to start college.  You were left all alone.  It wasn’t really fair of us – but then again, there wasn’t a lot of choice in the matter either. 

I was glad that you grabbed the job at the design firm when you did.  At least you have something to focus on.

I know that you miss Taemin terribly, we all do, but it’s worse for you obviously. 

He’ll be home soon enough Kibum.  He has more breaks that I do leaves.  Summer is almost here and he’ll be back again and Jinki will be getting out of service a month before. 

We’re all coming back Bummie, our family will be together again as soon as we can.

See you next time I’m on leave,

Kim “dinopuppy” Jonghyun

p.s. I still can’t believe I let you get away with that nickname the last time I was on leave. 

*****

Love,

We made it!

Four years is almost over!

I was just sized for my cap and gown today.  It became real, real quick.  I was handed a bunch of tickets for graduation, though I only need one.  My parents and brother won’t be able to come out to graduation, but I want you to be there.

This is as much a victory for you as it is for me.  I wouldn’t have been able to make it all the way through without you behind me, backing me up all of this time.

Graduation is on May 8^th. I hope you can come a few days before and we can just enjoy L.A. for a while.  It’ll be the last time that I live here after all and I want to really show off the city that has taken care of me for four years. 

I honestly can’t believe it Bummie…I’m going to be a college graduate!  A journalist!  I’ve started putting out applications back in Seoul and I hope to start hearing back from some of them soon. 

It’s funny.  All the work and effort and strain that went into my college career and I’m 3 papers, 1 project and 1 test away from all of it being over and done with.

But most importantly – we’ll be back together again.  For good. 

One of my professors wanted me to go into the English masters program, but I told him flat out that it was time for me to go home.  That I had you waiting for me. 

Oh Kibum – we’re almost there.

I love you!

Your Tae