Thanks for all the comments.  I kind of felt like I was giving homework at the end of the last one, but it's something I was thinking and kind of felt like I just needed to say.  Thanks for not having any negative rants back at me (it's happened on other sites when I've asked for people to comment), people like you guys make AFF such a great place to wander around and be a part of. 

Oh, and I forgot to say this last time, but The Showdown has topped 7,000 views!! It wasn't that long ago that it hit 6,000 and I'm impressed at it's growth.  I'm sure some of it is you guys passing it on so thanks to you guys!  And this one has topped 3,000! It's going even quicker than The Showdown!  I'm so excited that I get to reach so many people and I'm glad that they are finding something that they like and can connect to in my stories!

Now, I kind of had two different ideas for this prompt.  One was more abstract and another was more of a concrete example.  I tried to combine them into one piece in this chapter so let me know how I did alright?

#26 – Breakable

Lee Taemin was a fighter.

Kim “Key” Kibum was a fighter.

They were fighters.

Everyone knew that.

Ever since the press conference where Taemin and Key and out-ed themselves to the media core of the entire country, they had been fighting what seemed like one battle after another.

They were fighting for Taemin’s health.

They were fighting for their families to understand.

They were fighting for their fans to understand.

They were fighting for their nation to understand.

They were fighting for everything, for what seemed like everyday. 

And it was exhausting. 

Sometimes it felt like they were losing.  As though the complaints and condemnations of the rest of the world were raining down on them and fists would fly out from the back of the room and check them right in the gut and before they could see their attacker, the next one had stepped up to take the next hit.

The first few months were the worst. 

Every day it seemed that scathing articles or news stories were presented, or they were referenced in snide comments as an aside to the real story. 

And despite them loving each other, despite the rest of SHINee and many of their friends in the idol-verse supporting them and rallying around them, and despite their certainty that there was nothing wrong or impure about their relationship to each other, despite all of that – it was still hard to believe it some days.

*****

Taemin tore the cover off of the magazine, scrunched it up into a ball and threw it across the room, mildly surprised when it bounced off of the wall and into the trash can. 

He was so sick of it.  It wasn’t anyone’s business anyway.

What else can truly be said for a couple of boys who think that they are men and have betrayed the trust of the nation.  Parents look towards these popular icons and idols as inspirations for our children.  As either something to help them relax momentarily after their studies or as an example of what hard work can allow them to succeed to.  Instead of bearing that responsibility wisely, these two have decided to use their popularity and position to instigate a horrible conversation as the expense of our children’s morals.

Is this the kind lifestyle we want our children to live, or to accept as normal? 

And worse yet, they have taken the rest of their group with them.  It has been widely reported that SM Entertainment’s Lee Sooman was against their “revelation” to the public, but that the other members of SHINee supported them.  These boys have infected their own friends with their fiendish ideals and beliefs.  They have even driven a wedge between the powerful vocalist Kim Jonghyun and his family. 

They have likely destroyed the future of SHINee along with the dismantling of their own individual lives.

The SHINee maknae Taemin admits to being gay for a while, whereas SHINee’s Key has been vocal about what he looked for in his wife, indicating that the man had fully intended on perusing a traditional relationship.  What must this young man have done to pull his hyung off the proper path?

Taemin sighed.

People were cruel.  The same people who a couple of months ago had been writing articles imploring people to pray for his recovery while he was in a coma, were now condemning him and skating dangerously close to insinuating that it would have been if he had never woken up at all.  They certainly weren’t asking for people to pray for his continued recovery now.

Taemin was tired and his chest was aching but he was holding off on taking his pain medication.  They always made him tired and he didn’t want to fall asleep just yet.  Key was supposed to drop by the Lee’s house tonight after he finished his schedule for the day and Taemin wanted to be awake to be able to see him. 

It had been a few days since the last time he had been able to see his boyfriend in person (Taemin had been asleep the last few nights when Kibum had come by and woke up in the morning to find little notes but having missed the man’s actual presence).  Taemin had made the mistake of watching the television news, and of reading posts online and each hurtful word had seemed to find just the right area to strike and lay down their roots. 

With days of not seeing Kibum, of not speaking to him, Taemin had somehow allowed the doubt to root.  Maybe all he was doing was bringing pain to Kibum.  Maybe he was just making everything worse than it needed to be.  Maybe things would be better for Kibum if he didn’t have to worry about Taemin all of the time…

Taemin slumped back onto his pillows, trying to breathe deeply to calm himself down, but having to be careful for his still healing rib cage. 

Being injured he thought immaturely. 

Then the doorbell rang and Taemin shot up and winced as the sudden motion induced a throb of pain and forcing him to brace himself on the bed and try and breathe through the pain.

Light feet padded their way up the stairs and down the hallway to where Taemin’s room lay. 

A gentle knock on the door before it inched open and Key’s bowed head came in as he quietly opened the door and turned instantly to close it just as silently.  It wasn’t until he turned back around that he became startled by Taemin’s eyes standing open and watching him. 

“Tae!  You’re awake!” Key’s eyes lit up as he saddled over to the bed and wrapped his arms around Taemin’s shoulders, hugging the teenager close to his chest. 

“Hey Key,” Taemin whispered, lightly hugging the older boy back. 

“How are you feeling today?”  Kibum asked, pulling back and sitting on the bed with his back laying against the side of Taemin’s bent legs. 

“Um, I’m alright…” Taemin said, scratching his head and pushing down a threatening yawn. 

Key quirked an eyebrow, unseen to Taemin, recognizing something in Taemin’s voice that let on that there was more to that statement than Taemin was telling him, but he bit his tongue for now and didn’t ask anything more.

Instead he reached over and grabbed Taemin’s hand and squeezed it gently.  But in reaching for the young dancer’s hand, Key had bent forward and was able to see the torn magazine lying haphazardly on Taemin’s bedside table.  The cover was missing, but the table of contents for the magazine was fully visible – and it was one that Kibum recognized, as it was an article that he had seen as well. 

Before he could stop himself, the rapper was leaning over and grabbing the offending magazine with his other hand. 

Taemin lurched forward intending to stop Kibum from reading but Kibum had partially stood and held the magazine out of reach. 

“So you’ve read this too?”  He asked sadly, before dropping it to the floor and sitting back on the bed.

“You’ve seen it?” Taemin asked in a small voice.

Kibum smiled softly, “Yeah, just another hot head spewing his stupidity.”

“Yeah,” Taemin said softly, failing to meet Key’s eyes.

“Tae?”  Kibum leant forward and ducked his head trying to get Taemin to look at him.

Taemin sighed and gave in, knowing that Kibum would not give up until he got what he wanted. 

“Yeah?” He asked, looking up. 

“You know he’s talking out of his right?” Kibum said flatly, staring intently into Taemin’s eyes, trying to pour all of his love for Taemin into one look, imploring the dancer to believe him instead of the words of a stranger.

“Yeah, I know that…” Taemin started with a forced smile, but Key interrupted him.

“No Taemin.”  He shook his head.  “You may know up here,” he said and lightly tapped Taemin’s temple, “but I need to know if you know it here,” and he placed that same hand over Taemin’s heart. 

“You have done nothing wrong.  We’ve done nothing wrong.  Forget what the rest of the world thinks because they don’t matter Taemin.  None of that matters, because we know the truth and we know the reality of our relationship.  We know what we feel and what everyone else thinks can just go to hell for all I care!” 

Taemin bit his lip and closed his eyes, snickering a little bit at his boyfriend. 

“Taemin,” Key started again, grabbing the sides of Taemin’s head in his hands and bringing his face up close, “I love you.” He shook Taemin’s head a little and reiterated, “I. Love. You.”

“I know Kibum, I know.  And I love you too.”  Taemin said lightly.  “I don’t even know why I read that stupid thing.  That guy has hated me since debut…”

“Well yeah!  He’s a total Jonghyun-fan boy and diss-ed everyone except the dino.” Key laughed and ruffled Taemin’s hair.

“Come here,” Taemin said, wrapping his arms around Key and tugging him down lay down next to him in the twin bed that he had grown up using.

They stayed that way for a while in relative quiet just enjoying the presence of each other.

Eventually Key realized that Taemin hadn’t taken his pain medications when Taemin’s breathing became increasingly stilted.

“Why would you not take your medicine?” Key asked, genuinely confused. 

“It makes me tired, and I’ve missed you the last few nights and I wanted to actually be able to see you today.”  Taemin blushed in slight embarrassment at the incredulous look that Kibum gave him.

“What?!” Taemin asked when he didn’t say anything.

“You’d rather be in pain and be able to see me than to ease your pain and fall asleep?”

Taemin didn’t answer that question, instead he continued as though Kibum wasn’t staring at him with slightly wet eyes.

“I think my mom is passive-aggressively giving them to me so that I’ll be asleep when you come by…”  Taemin turned in the bed so that he was lying on his side facing Key.  “I don’t think she likes the fact that we’re together but she doesn’t want to say anything, nor does she want to be responsible for helping us along either.”

Kibum pressed his lips together but didn’t comment instead opting to move on, “Well, it’s time to take them now,” and he went into Umma-mode, making sure that Taemin was taking care of himself and helped him to take the pills and tucked him into bed a half an hour later when they took their toll and left Taemin peacefully slumbering in his bed.

Key gently patted Taemin’s head and kissed his forehead before writing a quick note for Taemin to read in the morning.

Then, like the many nights before and many to follow, Kibum quietly left the room, closing the door behind him, and made his way out of the Lee home, nodding to Taesun and their parents before slipping out to the SM car that waited on the streets to carry him back to the SHINee dorm.    

*****

Some days they just wanted to sit down and cry and give in and just be willing to agree with society because it would just be easier to do so.  Because it is hard to spend your entire life going up hill and struggling against the might of public opinion, harder than most could every hope to bear.

But Taemin and Kibum were fighters.  They didn’t even look down the easy road.  As soon as that impulse came across their minds it was gone. 

They couldn’t focus on the hardship, or it would be completely demoralizing and they wouldn’t want to go on with it any longer. 

But despite their determination and their willingness to fight, sometimes it was beyond their control for them.  In the dark of night when there was nothing else to do, nothing else to distract them, they would having nothing to hold it back, nothing to keep it at bay any longer.

And they would break down. 

Early on, it was harder because they didn’t even have each other there to rely on.  Calls were placed every night, and there were many times when one of the would fall asleep, phone pressed to their ears, and the other would stay on the line, listening to the calm breathing and using that as a lullaby to lull themselves to sleep. 

They were fighters – but they were breakable too.  They couldn’t hear all day about them being unnatural or erted and not feel the sting of the barbs.  Those hurtful things would find the chinks in their armor and get in and repeat themselves on loop, echoing through the silence with a terrifying clarity. 

But then all they needed was the other.  The one to build them back up and to put all those pieces back where they belonged – actually making them stronger in the long run.  One would confirm their relationship and reassure the other and help them to build themselves up again and prepare themselves for the next onslaught.  That was what they would fight and endure for, because it was always the other - their lover, their partner, their life - that made the fight worthwhile, and that was all that mattered to them.

There is a conscious use on my part to use Kibum/Key interchangeably here.  In an earlier one shot I consciously used Kibum only, but at this point in their relationship I feel like he is still a little bit of Key and is only just starting to become Kibum alone.  That’s why I keep switching back and forth.  Most of you probably don’t care or didn’t notice, which means that I did it well enough for my tastes, but I thought I would explain my thinking on that idea. 

I hope you enjoyed and please comment.