This is one of those stories that I had started but was completely wiped out when my flash drive died on me (and actually…this happened TWICE).  I hope that I can recapture what I had written before, thanks for bearing with me.

Before I truly begin, I really do need to put up a warning about this chapter.  I was confused about what I should write using this prompt when idticd told me of a way that it is used to describe a person.  Now it is not considered the most PC of ways to refer to someone so before I went ahead and used it I just wanted to do this little disclaimer.  I am not intending to offend or hurt anyway with my usage.  It is just a prompt and I hope that I managed to give it appropriate meaning in my attempt to use it.

That having been said, I hope you enjoy this one.

#73 – Whitewash

Taemin didn’t get it. 

He honestly could not understand it sometimes.

He had wanted to go to college for many of the same reasons that everyone else, who really thought about the decision, did.  He wanted to better himself.

Taemin wanted more.  He wanted more than being just some has-been former idol living off his name and former fame.

He’d seen enough of those kind of people during his time as an idol.  Grown men and women, often times trying to act like they were a decade younger than they were, which was as pitiful in practice as it sounds. 

It was like a generation of little Peter Pans, desperate to never grow up.

Taemin wasn’t afraid of growing up and becoming something else.  Loosing the adoration of millions – frankly that was fine with him.  He was a little sick of the 24/7 spotlight that had turned him into a martyr or a target depending on your stance on the so-called “gay issue.”

So Taemin had made one of the hardest decisions of his life and left everything and everyone that he knew behind and went to college.     

He had chosen UCLA because it was kind of the best of both worlds.  He could have the complete American college experience, at a big name university.  But at the same time he was in close courters to L.A.’s Korea Town, the single largest congregation of Korean people in the entire of America.  He thought that when he was really getting homesick for some Korean food or culture, he would just be able to jaunt down their and get his fix, and be able to keep his spirits up long enough for the longing to pass. 

But something he was not expecting was to meet people on campus, of Korean ethnicity, who knew absolutely nothing about their heritage. 

He could understand wanting to assimilate into the over-arching cultural structure when you move to a new place, Taemin knew that he was still struggling to not be irritated when people younger than him spoke so casual to him, or to not bow when first meeting someone, but Taemin had met a girl yesterday who had never even used a pair of chopsticks before.

How does that happen? 

People of all colors in America can use chopsticks, or have at least tried them when they showed up with their Chinese take-out. 

But this girl had never used them and seemed baffled when Taemin expressed his preference for them over the forks and other cutlery provided in the dining halls.  He’d grown up in a society that used chopsticks and spoons for practically everything, but he still knew how to use a fork and knife. 

Taemin hitched his bag higher up on his shoulders and moved swiftly across campus.  May in America is Asian heritage month.  He thought that it was kind of cool that different groups were celebrated in different months here.  That having been said, school was practically over in May, with just a few stragglers finishing up late finals.  Therefore the Asian Heritage Month Committee (seriously…a committee) decided to move the celebrations to April.  Throughout the entire month, different Asian cultures would be showcased and highlighted for the students of UCLA to see and experience.  Korea was being showcased alongside China and Japan in a general “East Asia” themed pair of weeks.

Someone had realized who Taemin was and he had been asked to help demonstrate Korean culture and explain the Hallyu sensation. 

Taemin didn’t know if he wanted to do it but a friend of his practically begged him, “You’ve gotta! People will actually show for a Korean celebrity!”

Taemin knew that was the truth.  For the first month he was on campus he would spot American fans hunting across campus like they were on a safari.  Cameras were clutched in hand and SHINee shirts being proudly worn.  He’d literally had to run away from them before when they accosted him on his way to class.  He really wished sometimes that the papers hadn’t reported where he was attending, but the good thing about UCLA being so big; it was far easier for him to blend in. 

Taemin slipped into the auditorium where the planning meeting was being held.  The Korean population on campus was rather significant so he wasn’t too surprised to see so many people halfway filling the space. 

They agreed that they would MC in both English and Korean, and Taemin sighed in relief when they selected another student as the Korean MC.  He wasn’t the best one to talk with a mic.  He had a tendency to just say whatever popped into his head.  As Kibum says, “You’re shut-up filter is faulty,” and Taemin tended to babble when he was nervous.

Taemin began to doze as they continued to prattle on.  It had been a long day of classes and Abby had been frightened of the thunder storm last night and had kept Taemin awake with her alternating yowling and clawing.

He was woken up then by the sudden pounding of Onew’s voice from the speaker system.  Taemin’s eyes snapped open to see the video for “Lucifer” beginning to play.  As the camera focused on his teenaged face, he could sense the others in the auditorium turning their heads to search for him as though to confirm that he was indeed a student here. 

He smiled awkwardly at the few brave enough to meet his eyes and forced his attention back on the presentation.

It was decided that Taemin would basically do something of a free mini-concert.  He was going to sing and dance at the closing ceremony, but they also wanted him to be a panelist in a Q&A session that was talking about the growing interest in Asian culture on the whole in America, how it was ceasing to be something followed by small groups of dedicated fans but was in fact branching out to more general society. 

Taemin wrote it all into his planner and promised to be there before ducking out to finish some more homework.

*****

The panel had gone well, Taemin thought as he stepped out of the auditorium with a slight smile.  While there had been many questions about SHINee specifically, there were several questions about what he thought about Kpop’s influence in Korea and abroad and if there were any downsides to the whole genre and system. 

They were having Korean BBQ for dinner as a closing event and as Taemin was guided over to an empty spot at a table he sat down smiling at the two girls and the one boy he was sharing a table with.

“Have any of you ever had Korean barbeque before?” He asked just to make conversation.

“I’ve had it in Korea Town a few times,” the man, a Caucasian in his early twenties with a buzz cut, said with a smile, “but my girlfriend has never had it before.” He said, wrapping a lanky arm around a petite Asian girl who hunched her shoulders shyly as attention was called to her. 

The girl next to him, Latino by the look of her, started to laugh, “How can you be Korean and have never eaten Korean food before?”  She asked, looking across the table at her friend.

Taemin raised his eyebrows, “You’re Korean?”

She shook her head, “I’m American.  My parents moved here from Korea when they were children.”

She spoke with a bland American mid-western accent, a little nasally on her ‘a’ pronunciation, but certainly not the thicker accent that Taemin had when he used English, though his was getting better surrounded by it 24/7.

“Have you ever been there?” He asked, accepting the plate of samgyupsal that had just been handed to their table, while the other boy reached out to turn on the hotplate that they would be cooking their meat on.

She shook her head and watched as Taemin placed some meat on the plate to begin cooking.  “My parents wanted me to be American, they never even spoke Korean in the house.”

Taemin gave her a perplexed look before cautiously saying, “Not even ‘umma’ or ‘appa?’”

She started to look a little uncomfortable, “I don’t even know what those mean.” 

A faint blush was covering her cheeks and Taemin decided to give her a break.  He gave her a small smile and said, “Mom and Dad.” To explain, before turning the conversation away, for which she looked grateful. 

Her boyfriend tended to the cooking meat while Taemin helped the girl next to him, Maria, with figuring out how to use her chopsticks. 

“The bottom one doesn’t move, only the top one,” he explained kindly, noticing that Gloria, his Korean-American friend, was trying to surreptitiously listen in and get pointers on the eating utensil too.

Throughout dinner, Taemin answered the many questions he was asked, with a noticeable absence of any from Gloria, but he made sure to add, sending a pointed look her way, that “anytime you guys want to go to Korea Town, I’m in.”  Even giving them his phone number in case they wanted to meet up again.

He will admit though, to being incredibly surprised when the first one to call was Gloria. 

She wanted to learn about her heritage it seemed.

“I’m sick of being called ‘Twinkie’ or ‘whitewashed.’” She said vehemently when she met Taemin in front of the Library after classes one day.

Taemin had never really heard those terms before and she had to explain them.  “It’s an Asian person who acts white.”

“…yeah…the whole ‘acting white’ thing,” Taemin began, even using air quotes, “you have to remember I’m from Asia – we don’t have a concept of ‘acting white.’” 

That through her for a loop right there, looking startled a bit as though amazed that Taemin did not understand this concept that was so engrained in her culture.

“Basically, I don’t follow the Asian stereotype,” she said after a while.  “I don’t speak any Asian languages, I don’t practice martial arts, or follow Buddhism or Confuciust thought.  I’m no more respectful of my parents than any other typical American child is.  I don’t watch or listen to foreign music or movies.  I am American through and through.”  She sighed, “But because I am like that, especially when I am only first generation American…other Asians judge me.” 

Taemin creased his brow.  He thought Americans wanted people to assimilate.  But here this girl and her family had done exactly that and it was somehow bad.

“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” he muttered, guiding her into the main part of Korea Town.

“Exactly,” she huffed, looking around at all the signs in Korean in the store that they had just entered. 

She shook her head, “I just don’t know…”

Taemin snickered a bit and tugged her towards the back. 

“This is a Korean grocery store,” he said obviously, moving towards the refrigerated section.  He reached down for a glass jar that was chilling in the swirling condensed air. 

“This,” he said, holding the jar up at eye level, “is kimchi.”  He pointed to the sign where it was written in Hangeul and back to the jar.  “Kimchi.”  He said again, placing the jar in her hands.

“Kimchi…” she said uncertainly, her pronunciation a little weird. 

“Remember the red, spicy cabbage at the barbeque?” 

“Oh!”  She said suddenly, her face brightening up.  “I do!  I liked it!”

Taemin laughed at her simple glee.  “Good!  Because this is THE Korean food.  Between this and rice, you already have half of the majority of our meals.” 

He tapped his finger against the jar, “This happens to be homemade kimchi.  The woman who runs this shop makes it – and it is really good.”

She fumbled her way through a simple introduction with the owner and via Taemin they were able to have a short conversation in which the woman offered to teach her how to make kimchi herself and ended up giving Gloria and Taemin a jar each for free.

Over the course of that year, Gloria’s last at the school, Taemin did his best to show her the best of Korean culture and help it mesh with her very American life and upbringing. 

She wasn’t going to pick up very much Korean, but he at least managed to teach her the alphabet so she could sound things out.

Where he did make inroads were in the areas of food, movies and music.  She fell for the soap-opera like K-dramas with actors like Hyun Bin and Gong Yoo and Lee Minho gracing the screen.  She laughed out loud at the over-the-top romantic comedies that Korea liked to produce and she even started dancing along to a few Kpop stars, and falling a bit for SHINee along the way. 

Popular culture was easy to transmit; because once you get over the language barrier it is easy to see that the differences aren’t so big.  The core values and dreams of society are still essentially the same, the packaging is just a little different.

He still didn’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to know anything about their heritage, but he was glad that he was able to help at least one person connect with theirs.

So really – he was glad that his friend had wheedled him into working with the heritage month.  It did exactly was it was supposed to do.

A couple of notes on this one:

Shifting heritage month to April – my university did this.  And as an exec board member of several Asian appreciation groups on campus (Asian Studies, Asian Cinema Organization, etc. – btw I am white…), I was made a large part of the planning process for all of this.  And it that it was in April because that is the same time all of those papers and final projects and exam studying needs to happen…

Naming the girl Gloria – one of my students here in Korea lived in America for a few years and went to kindergarten and early elementary school there so her English is pretty good.  Anyway, she has an “American name” – literally called miguk ireum (미국 이름) which means America name – which is Gloria.  It occurred to me that it’s one of those names that you don’t usually hear in America anymore, but someone isn’t surprising to hear out of a foreigner.  I’ve met an Agnes over here too – and that’s definitely a name that is out of style stateside.

Anyway, happy 4^th of July to the Americans!  This is my favorite holiday and I’m kind of sad to be missing it (for the first time EVER) so eat a hot dog at your BBQ for me and cheer on the fireworks!