Jonghyun's POV

Since Mina and I broke up for the God knows which time, I'm feeling really depressed and sad. I never knew that she is going to be that importan to me. Yeah, I was an to her, I realised it too late. Jessica was my ex and sometimes I would have a short affair with her, nothing too serious, no emotions. She was always the girl who has no emotions and I was with her just for fun. That night, I went to Jessica's place furious about what happened. I was mad because of Mina's answering the phone for me and I told all those thing to her because I was mad. Anger was talking instead of me. 
I got in my car and drove off to Jessica's place. She had a party and she was expecting for me.  While I was driving I cooled off and all those words I said to Mina was coming back to me. I realised that I was a bit too harsh on her but I knew she would forgive me, she always does.
I was dressed for that party hours ago but I was covered in a blanket when I was at home so Mina couldn't suspect anything.
I came to her house. The music was loud and I heard people talking. I knocked and Jessica opened the door. She looked hot. She was a tight white dress and killer heals. Her hair was curly. 
"You made it." she smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. 
"Yeah, sorry for being late." I said still hugging her. She held my hand and we walked through the apartment. There was a lot of people. I saw some friends of hers and waved at them. She took me to the corner of the place where there wasn't so much people. We sat on the sofa and she started kissing me like there's no tommorow. I was enjoying with her being in my arms. The smell of her perfume and her soft skin were driving me crazy. She let some soft moans and hard breaths were coming out of our mouths. Still, when I was kissing her lips, her neck, Mina came to my mind. The image of her crying and being hurt could't be erase from my head. Why am I like this? I liked Mina but...I was never feeling like this. I stopped kissing Jessica on her neck and looked at her. Her hand was on my head, passing my hair. 
"Why did you stop baby?" she asked still breathing hard. "We're just at the beggining." she said and pulled me back for our lips to meet. I pushed her away and got up and started walking to the exit.
"Jonghyun!" she yelled and started following me. When she came close to me she held my wrist and I turned around.
"You're making a mistake! Look what you can have." she said and passed through her body with her hands.
"I'm sorry." I said and left her apartment. I herad her screams telling me to not appear in front of her face again. I didn't care. I realised that I did a huge mistake by leaving Mina alone and telling her all those bad things. I realised that her love was true and pure and all I did was payed with her. She was one of a kind. Her smile was cute and even if I'm annoyed with everything, her smile would make it all better. Her perfect black hair and her big green eyes who were always showing so much love and care towards me. I drove back to my place and founded it empty. Mina left. Why was I surprised anyway. I was a bit tired and decided to talk to her first thing in the morning, she had to come back. Her stuff were here and that was the perfect time to apologize to her and tell her someting I've never tell anyone for a long time. This time it was sincere. I love her. I loved her since the first day but I was too big of a idiot to realise it. I fell asleep with a thought of her.
The next morning I woke up with the sound of knocking on my door. It was her. I opened the door and looked at her pretty face who was different. It showed a mixure of fear and coldness. 
""Hi, I came to pick some of my stuff." she said. In her eyes I could see how hurt she is and how she turned that pain into coldness.
I let her pass and followed her to the bedroom where she was packing her stuff. 
I was taking the courage to tell hersomething, anything. After I while I finally said it.
"I-I'm sorry for saying all that to you." 
As soon as I said those words I felt like an idiot. I was desperatly waiting for her reaction. She turned and faced me. She was kinda shocked with my words. Tears filled my eyes. I was mad at myself for being like this. I'm never like that!

"A simple I sorry won't fix anything." 
Words that brought a mix of feeling in me. I was trying to defend myself and blamed my anger but she stayed cold. Nothing helped. Her answers were short and cold and that shocked me. That wasn't the Mina I...I loved.
Then I did a huge mistake.
"But you were looking at my phone and-" 
I put the blame on her even though it was obvious that it was all my fault. The moment I said it I regret it and wished that I could take it all back. She started yelling and told something that has never been told from her perspective.

"DON'T YOU DARE BLAME THIS ON ME JONGHYUN, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS CHEATING, NOT ME!" 

It was like a slap to my face and to my heart. I was cheating on her and I regret every single moment with Jessica. I told her that I would change. I was ready to change for her. That's how much she means to me. I want to be that one special guy in her heart and mind, no one else. Not Donghae, me. I was jelaous of Donghae for being so close to her and I would always show it but Mina always defeneded him and always told me that I'm the guy who captured her heart. I would never listen to those words carefully because I never thought that there is such kind of love. That she really loves me like that.
I started to cry. Me, the famous player, the guy with no feelings. I cried and in every tear was her. 
"I love you." I sobbed in despair hoping that maybe that would change her heart.
"I love you too..." she said and gave me a little hope that everything is going to be all right.
"...but you're hurting me and I can't take it no more." Bam! Another slap. Another hard pain in my heart. Maybe I deserved it. Now I feel just like she felt since we started going out. I was hurting her so badly but she still stayed by my side and now she had enough and I don't know if I'll ever fix our relationship. She passed right by me and left me alone. I hear the doors closing and then I broke down and stared to cry even more. How could I be so stupid?