A distant rustle interrupts the deep sleep I have fallen in, it sounds as keys trying to open a door and they are so loud in this peaceful night that I immediately open my eyes. Darkness is all I can see, a faint ray of moonlight coming in from the slightly open curtains.

I look around at the not familiar surroundings and for a moment I feel lost, that is until I move closer to the source of heat that is at my back. I turn my head and I can distinguish Hyunseong’s silhouette, I haven’t seen him sleeping in a while so I turn around on the bed to get a better look.

His always perfectly styled hair looks messy, his eyes are closed letting me see his thick dark eyelashes and light snores are coming out of his parted lips, he looks even more handsome like this. My eyes keep traveling down the line of his neck reaching to his pronounced collarbone that seems to be peeking from his sleeveless shirt. I can also notice every toned muscle of his strong arms.

Suddenly, my cheeks seem to heat up because of the sight in front of me. Why does he have to look so good while sleeping?? I glare at Hyunseong’s sleeping form in an attempt to suppress the strong desire of touching his skin that is invading me.

I look away from his broad shoulders and as if he is trying to lure me in even more Hyunseong moves abruptly on his sleep revealing a rather large span of his perfectly shaped abs. I can’t help but stare now. Really?? Why is he torturing me like this??

It has been a while since I have been feeling like this. It could be a gesture, some of his words or just seeing him that triggers something inside of me. It is not that I want him, it is so much more than that, it is more like I need him so much that I don’t care if anyone is around I just want to feel him.

I have been fighting with this because I know what it means. I am guy after all and it is normal that I want to… well, be more intimate with the person I love but I have no idea how it will work. How does a guy-guy relationship works in this aspect??

Besides, Hyunseong has never tried to do more than kissing and that confuses me. Does that mean he doesn’t feel the way I do?? He doesn’t want to be with me in that way?? I look at his sleeping face and get irritated at him. Hyunseong, what are you feeling?? How do I look in your eyes?? What if he just sees me as a kid?? I don’t know if Hyunseong has been with someone before. Damn!! This is so frustrating!! I really wish there is someone whom I could talk about this.

I sigh frustrated and lie down my head on Hyunseong’s chest enjoying the warmth and trying to drift into sleep to forget about my previous thoughts. “Jeongmin” Hyunseong’s sleepy voice reaches my ears and I open my eyes.

“Hmm” I hum close to his chest in response and I feel his body stiffing for a few seconds before he speaks again. “What are you doing?” his words are really cautious and he sounds uncomfortable. What is wrong with him?? Is he still asleep??

I look at his face and he has a really weird look, like he is in pain. Could he be sick?? But why does he looks scared then?? Is he fully awake yet?? There is another emotion mixed in his deep eyes but I can’t distinguish what it is.

“Hyunseong, are you ok?” I say while moving from my lying position and leaning close to him to look at him up close. I examine his face in silence for a few seconds and his eyes look slightly glassy and his cheeks are colored by a light red tone. What is wrong with him??

I place my hand on his forehead to check if he has a fever, his skin is warm but not as much to be serious “Hyunseong” my voice sound raspy and husky. “Do you feel…??” before I can finish my question Hyunseong’s hand is around my neck pulling me down by my neck and his lips are on mine kissing me roughly.

Although I am very surprised my body reacts on its own and before I know it I am sitting on top of him kissing him back as roughly as he is, my hands traveling around his hair.

Everything about Hyunseong is so addictive. The taste of his lips, the warmth of his body, the softness of his hair, the little hums he lets out from time to time. It all only sums up to drive me crazy, my cheeks only getting warmer and my heart beating faster with every second that passes.

I feel both of his hands traveling up and down my back and I let a sigh out on his lips that he gladly takes as our lips keep dancing together. The kiss seems endless, our lips only leaving each other to catch on some air and soon they resume their activities.

Suddenly, I feel a hand making its way through my shirt and brushing softly my skin, a shiver runs through my body and I open my eyes in surprise at the new feeling. Before I can think of what happened Hyunseong’s other hand joins the first one and I yelp slightly at the contact, my lips leaving his.

I stare down at Hyunseong from my sitting position as his hands leave my back and are placed lightly on my hips brushing comforting circles on it. He is waiting for me to say if it is ok to keep this going on. I can see it on his eyes, he is asking for my permission.

I really want this, I truly do but I am also scared. I am very scared, if I do this I will be baring my body and soul to Hyunseong, there is no way back after this. What am I supposed to do??

I look into Hyunseong’s eyes one more time and when I see them full of love, care and honesty I realize that I don’t have to be afraid. I have taken this decision long ago, I decided I wanted this when I finally told him what I feel, they day I let this feeling take over me.

I gulp and move Hyunseong’s hands away from my hips, his eyes look sad now but he smiles in an understanding manner to me. I hold the hem of my shirt and curl my hand on it, pulling it up. I finally take it off and place it to my side on the bed.

Even though I am really nervous Hyunseong’s surprised face makes me smile, he must have thought I was backing out when I move his hands away from me. I feel my cheeks heating up even more under his strong gaze, I know he is staring at me and this only makes me more nervous.

I decide to look down and focus on his shirt but it was a terrible mistake because soon I can see Hyunseong taking off his own shirt and I end up staring at his beautifully shaped abs. “Jeongmin” I hear his husky voice and my heart only beats faster.

I don’t know if it is because I am too embarrassed or because I can’t stop staring at his body but I can’t look up at him. He places his hand under my chin and moves my head making me face him, he is smiling brightly which makes me smile in return, my smile widening when I notice his red cheeks and his gentle eyes.

He guides me towards him with his hand and our lips meet once again, he kisses me slowly and carefully like he is afraid I will move away and leave any minute but I won’t. I won’t go anywhere and I won’t stop, I have made up my mind. I want to become one with him.

.

.

.

“Stop staring” I say to Hyunseong who has been hovering over me and staring at my torso for the last 5 minutes. I don’t have impressive abs like he does, I am just skinny and this is really embarrassing. “Sorry” Hyunseong says lowly before pecking my lips softly.

“You are just so beautiful” he whispers on my neck before kissing it. I let out a sigh when his lips travel slightly down to my collarbone and another kiss is placed there. I move my hands to his back and I love the warm feeling of his muscles under my fingertips…

Suddenly a bright light is hitting my eyes, I blink a few times to get used to the change and before I realize what is happening I hear someone.

“Hyunseong, are you awak…??” I open my eyes wide when I notice the tall dark haired man standing on Hyunseong’s door with a shocked face.

THIS HAS TO BE A FREAKING NIGTHMARE!! IT IS THE CAPTAIN!! WHY DID HE HAD TO APPEAR NOW OF ALL TIMES?? WASN’T HE FAR AWAY ON SOME TRIP?? THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING!!

Hyunseong reacts much better than me, he immediately stands up from the bed and tugs me in the covers like a kid. I gulp and stay in my position not moving a single muscle.

“SHIM HYUNSEONG!! COME!! NOW!!” The captain yells at him but Hyunseong doesn’t look surprised. He pecks my lips and whispers a soft “I’ll be back soon” before disappearing through the door with the angry captain.

I let a sigh out and get out of the blankets when I am alone in the room. I grab my shirt and put it on before standing up from the bed and turning the lights off, my eyes are still hurting because of the abrupt change.