An annoying ray of sunlight hits my eyes making hard my task of keep dreaming. I move my head slightly to be out of its reach but the light finds his way to my eyes once again. I grow lowly and finally open my eyes.

Sunlight coming from my open window lights up my room and I look at the empty spot next to me on the bed with a frown. Damn, it has been only two weeks, only a few nights that we have slept on the same bed but I miss it. I miss him.

Ever since that first night we slept next to each other and he held me in his embrace I can’t get a good night sleep without his arms on my waist and the light pressure of his chest on my back. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? WHY IS IT THAT I CAN’T RESIST BEING CLOSE TO HIM??

I sigh and turn on the TV to distract my head that is too full of him but the news doesn’t help at all. They are talking about the latest gadget or the latest idol. I keep changing channels until I reach one of the international channels.

“The last country to accept same marriage was France on May 15^th and in England this type of union will be legal since March 29 of 2014. This two countries adds up to the other thirteen in which marriage of the same is already legal”

My eyes open wide and my heart starts beating way too fast because of my thoughts, I turn off the TV quickly and stand up abruptly from the bed heading to the bathroom. I really need to clear my mind now and take a shower. WHY?? Why I could only think of him when that report appeared??

WHY?? WHY!! Why do I think about him all the time?? Why I left him sleep with me?? Why I let him kiss me like he does?? Why do I keep coming back to his side??

Unknowingly tears start running down my eyes, mixing with the water falling from the shower to my body. I feel like I am out of breath all of the sudden, like the air is not enough around me. I sit down on the shower’s floor and let the water cover me.

HE IS MY FRIEND!! AND HE IS A GUY!! GOD!! WHAT AM I DOING?? WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS?? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

More tears leave my eyes and I don’t stop them. I am just too confused right now.

DAMN YOU SHIM HYUNSEONG!! YOU ARE MESSING WITH MY HEAD!! YOU AND YOUR PERFECT SMILE, YOU AND YOUR KIND LOOKING EYES, YOU AND YOUR WARM EMBRACE, YOU AND YOUR KISSES.

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“Jeongmin” I hear some knocking on the door and I open my eyes. I am still on the shower’s floor and the water is still running. Did I fall sleep here??

“JEONGMIN!! ARE YOU OK??” my mom voice is too loud. I turn off the shower before answering her. “Mom, I am fine” but that is a lie. I am not fine at all, I don't know what is going on with me …. I just let a big sigh come out of my lips.

I grab a towel and place it around my waist, and then I open the door for my mom. She immediately jumps on me hugging me like there is no tomorrow. I cough a few times and she lets me go. "Are you sick?? You don't look good Jeongmin” she says with a worried voice.

I only nod at her words and lay down on the bed once again, feeling my head and my heart hurt. I am only sure about one thing right now: I have to stay away from Hyunseong.

These past weeks were just a mistake, A HUGE MISTAKE. If I just disappear from his life he will be all right. He just needs someone to spend his time with, someone that supports him, he needs a friend and he has tons of it so he won’t miss me. I am sure.

Me, on the other hand have to stop whatever this feeling is, IT ISN'T RIGTH. IT IS NOT NORMAL. I just need to be apart from him to make it go away that is all. Everything will be all right if I don’t see him. Everything will go back to normal that way.

After a whole day of trying to create new melodies I lay down on my bed frustrated. I couldn’t write a single note, everything sounded wrong when I played, like there is something missing in the melody. I sigh and look down at my cellphone; it is already past 5pm, the Kendo club’s practice must have already begun.

I quickly send a text to my dad explaining that I am sick and I won’t make it today. I don’t want to go to the club for now. If I go I will see Hyunseong and I shouldn’t be close to him, not even for a second. I can’t let myself get involved with him anymore. I JUST CAN’T!!

I stand up from my bed and head to the kitchen to make something to eat, just when I am walking down the stairs I hear the door opening and see my mom entering the house. “Jeongmin, how are you doing dear?? Do you feel better now??” she asks while approaching me.

“Kind of. I just wanted something to eat” I tell her the truth “It is good that you are feeling better, go back to bed and I will bring you something to eat” she says and I head back to my bedroom. My mom can be really silly at times but she really cares about me, unlike dad.

I enter my room once again and notice that a new message arrived to my cellphone. I stare at the name of the sender and my heart stops for a while. It is him, it is Hyunseong. After more than ten minutes of looking the same screen thinking if I should open it or not I decide not to. If I want to stay away from him, this will be a good start.

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It has been a week since the last time I saw him and talked with him. Seven days, one hundred sixty eight hours that actually felt like an eternity. I haven’t gone to the club the whole week and I have been ignoring his messages and calls. I just can’t see him when I still have this awful feeling inside of me.

I sigh and start gathering my things to leave school. It is Friday and I want to get out of this awful place as fast as I can. Even more, my parents are out of town so I got the whole place to myself, not that I am planning a huge party or some other teenager cliché.

I just want the place to be quiet so I can focus on my music. I haven’t been able to write lately and I just need some peace and quiet to do it. I just need to be alone.

I finish packing my stuffs and as I am about to cross my classroom door my phone starts ringing. I check it out and it is Hyunseong, my heard jumps when I read his name but I ignore the call and start walking out of the building.

The huge grass leading to the main doors is filled with students excited for their weekend ahead. I can see some of my classmates ahead of me and students from other years smiling happily. What catches my eye though is a strong and tall figure of a man standing close to the main gate.

My heart starts pounding on my chest at an incredible speed. I quickly catch up to my classmates and join them to walk to the main doors. Just as we are a few meters away I turn slightly to see the figure. His dark hair falls perfectly above his eyebrows as always but his eyes look different.

Sadness, confusion and pain that is all I can see on his eyes, pain. A pain that for some reason makes my heart aches. I quickly look away and keep walking with my classmates without saying a word to him, ignoring his presence and that makes my heart ache even more.

I don’t know why but that night I cried until the dawn while remembering his hurt expression.

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Hello!! I am updating again

Sooo, this chapter took me a while, it is hard to put on Jeongmin's shoes, you know? To deal with so much feelings and feel madly confused!! IT IS HARD!!

Ok, so thank you for keep reading, commenting, subscribing and not losing faith in this story really thank you guys

PS:This is to compensate the sadness of this chapter

KEEP LOVING AND SUPPORTING BOYFRIEND