The distance from my school to the kendo club has never felt so long, even though I am running I still have a long way to go. My heartbeat is too accelerated and I feel my face red because of the effort of running too fast. WHY ARE MY LEGS SO FREAKING SHORT??

DAMN!! I SHOULD DO MORE SPORTS!! It has become painful to breath and I am starting to feel really tired but finally I arrive to the club. I quickly pull out my key from my back pocket and open the front door.

The inside of the practice floor is dark, all of the lights are off and it looks like the place is empty. I start checking the whole club to see if anyone is around. After looking for Hyunseong in the information desk, the lockers and the bathroom I finally reach the captain’s office that leads to the storage room and to my shelter.

The office is also empty and with every step I take to walk down the stairs the rhythm of my heartbeats increases. I arrive to the storage room and it looks as dark as the other rooms. I switch the lights on and walk past the piles of mats and some old dummy dolls that the team no longer uses.

As I reach the shelf full of shinais and bukotus that blocks the entrance to my shelter I take a deep breath. I walk around the shelf and quickly make my way to the entrance. I step into my shelter and I immediately realize there is no one here.

I let the lights off and walk towards the bed as I feel my heart as heavy as a stone. I sit on the bed and just stare into the darkness at the chair that Hyunseong used to sit to read. DAMN!! WHY DID I EVEN THINK HE WOULD BE HERE??

I growl in frustration as I feel tears building up at the corner of my eyes.  I AM SO STUPID!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JEONGMIN?? THAT HE WOULD BE EXPECTING YOU HERE WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE?? WAKE UP!! THIS IS THE REAL WORLD AND NOT A SAPPY DRAMA!!

My phone rings and I desperately take it out of my pocket hoping that it is the captain with news about Hyunseong whereabouts. I look at the screen and I am so tempted to break the phone at that point, the one calling me is no other than my dad.

I throw my phone into the garbage bin next to the little desk and I lay down on the bed. I bet the school already told my parents I skip classes. DAMN!! I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT HOUSE!! THAT MAN IS GOING TO KILL ME WHEN HE RETURNS TO TOWN.

My phone rings again and I sit down on the bed to pick it up from the garbage and take out the battery so he stops calling me. When I get my phone I look at the missed calls, three from my dad and the rest from …. Hyunseong.

I open my eyes wide as I open my texts and look at all of the messages that Hyunseong sent me during these past weeks, there are more than fifty. I sigh and stare at the screen. Maybe, just maybe there is a clue about where he is in here.

I open his text from this Monday:

Monday, 01:42 pm.

< Sorry for bothering you again Jeongmin-ssi I know you don’t want to see me but I wanted to talk to you, If you can please reply this message.

Monday, 07:15 pm.

< Jeongmin-ssi I understand you don’t want to have anything to do with me but I need to tell you something important.

Tuesday, 09:22 pm

< I hope you are good Jeongmin-ssi. I really need to talk to you as soon as possible, it will be only for a short time.

Tuesday, 10:56 pm

< I am sorry for being so persistent Jeongmin-ssi but it is an important matter that I want to talk about. I will be waiting for your reply.

Wednesday, 01:43 am

< I am truly sorry for bothering you all this time. I left you a voice mail I really hope you could listen to, it is very important. … I am sorry things turned out like these between us. Goodbye.

No more messages

I feel as if a thousand needles would be on my heart like in a weird acupuncture session. The needles are so cold and they feel like they are hurting every corner of my heart. It hurts every single time that palpates, it hurts to breath, it hurts to be alive.

Jeongmin-ssi?? WHO IS THAT PERSON?? I DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM?? I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM?? HE IS SORRY THINGS TURNES OUT THIS WAY?? Every word he wrote makes the needles dig deeper into my heart, threatening with breaking it.

I quickly call the voicemail before my eyes betray me and my tears start to fall down.

“You have one new message”. “Message received on Wednesay at 01:30 am” the annoying robotic voice of a lady says through the phone.

“Good night Jeongmin-ssi” another needle is added to my heart when I hear Hyunseong’s sad voice, hearing addressing me like that hurts a thousand times more than just reading it. “I am sorry to be calling at such a late hour but I need to tell you something.” Hyunseong voice stops and for a second I think the message has ended but then I hear his voice again.

“One of my classmates’ dads works in Starship Ent and he told me he could get you an audition there. I didn’t expect for him to answer me so fast but he told me on Friday that they want to meet you. I was trying to reach you to tell you the news before they contacted you”

“I am sorry if you think it wasn’t appropriated for me to ask my friend but I think you are extremely talented and you owe yourself a chance to prove it to everyone.

Jeongmin-ssi, I … I want you know that you can come back to your shelter next week, I won’t be here anymore so you won’t see me on the club. I …. I probably won’t see you again so I just want to say this: Do the music that you love doing for the rest of your life.

I really wish you the best, Goodbye Jeongmin.”

I listen to the message at least three more times as tears run down my cheeks nonstop. Hyun… Hyunseong…. He… sounded so sad, so broken. I never thought that his voice could sound so cold. I never thought I could have hurt him so much just by ignoring him.

I AM NOTHING MORE BUT A STUPID COWARD!! HE SAID GOODBYE, HE IS GONE NOW AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE MIGTH BE. I……. I AM SORRY. PLEASE COMEBACK, PLEASE. I AM SORRY……

Hyunseong, I am so sorry. Sorry for walking out on you. Sorry for being so selfish all this time, I should have thought of you. I am really sorry …. I wish I could apologize to you properly, to tell you that I love you, to hug you one more time, to see you again. I just wish you were here …. with me.

Suddenly, the darkness goes away and the room is filled with light, my eyes instantly hurting because of the abrupt change. What happened?? Who the lights on??

“Jeongmin-ssi??” the phone I have been holding onto until now falls in the bed with a light plop.

THAT VOICE!! IS IT ….. IS HYUN…..

“I am sorry to be intruding but I forgot some books here. I am just going to take them”

IT IS DEFINITELY HIM!! IT IS HYUNSEONG!!

I take a deep breath and try to turn around to face him but my body is stiff as a board. DAMN!! THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO STAY SITTING AROUND HERE!! MOVE!! MOVE!! DO SOMETHING!!

I see the blurry image of Hyunseong’ s back picking a couple of books by the corner of my left eye. I wipe my tears away while I stand up from the bed slowly, taking one step at a time until I am right behind him.

My heart is beating so fast I can hear clearly how it is jumping in a mix of excitement and fear, my hands are shaking while I stretch them. I let my arms slide slowly around his side.

I hear the sound of some books hitting the floor but I let my arms keep its way, involving him, not too tight, not too loose. My hands meeting at the level of his belly and the right side of my face pressed against his back. I breathe out slowly as I feel the warmth of Hyunseong’s back and rapid heartbeats, I don’t know if they are here or mine though.

 “Jeongmin?” I feel Hyunseong’s body trying to release from my embrace but I hold him tighter, bringing my hands closer to his hard abdomen.

“I …. I am sorry” my voice sounds hoarse and dry, it sounds broken but I keep going. “ I am really sorry … I was too scared, I just didn’t know …. And then … then you were gone and I was so worried … and …” I have to stop talking because of the not so manly sobs coming out of my mouth.

I feel Hyunseong’s warm hand on top of my left one and more tears run down my eyes. “Can I turn around?” his voice is so soft and warm, so comforting but his question makes me feel insecure. I don’t want him to see me like this, in such a pitiful state.

“No, I must look awful … no” I move my right arm away from him to wipe the tears out of my face and before I can notice, Hyunseong turns around and holds my other hand softly.

I see a blurry Hyunseong in front of me, he looks exactly the same. His dark hair, his kind eyes, his sharp nose, his bow shaped lips forming a sweet smile. I try to let go of his hand to cover my crying face but he holds it firmly. I have no more choice but to look down, at the concrete floor.

“Jeongmin” his sweet voice seems to travel around the whole room making it sound more than music than to words. “Please, look at me” I am so tempted to do what he says, his voice can be so hypnotizing at times. Slowly, carefully, I raise my head and face him.   

My heart is beating so fast I bet you can see it through my shirt and my face must be as red as a beetroot. I just stare at Hyunseong’s ear to avoid looking at him directly.

“Beautiful” his words make look into those dark orbs that seem as mysterious as the space and they look like they are shining like a whole galaxy together. I can notice his cheek are as red as probably mine are.

He reduces the space between us by taking a step forward. “Hyunseong, I …. I want you to know …. I” Damn!! My voice is all shaky and I can’t even talk properly. I have to tell him, he has to know that I love him, that I don’t want him to go anywhere.

Suddenly I feel those pair of strong arms holding me by my waist and pressing me closer to him. So close our chests are touching and I can feel his breathe on my lips. “You are always beautiful” my heart beats faster if that is even possible and our lips are so close to each other.

“Hyunseong, wait!” I move back slightly as I let my arms surround his neck to look directly at him this time. “Hyunseong, I …. I missed you so much. I …. Please don’t go away” I take a deep breath before saying “like you…. I really like you…..I even think I. No, I lov… ”

Before I can continue I feel warm and soft lips on mine, pressing lightly on mine for a few seconds. I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, wishing for it to never end but then his lips are gone only to be back a second later, nibbling on my lower lip.

I tighten my arms around his neck, pulling him closer so our lips con meet more comfortably. They dance around each other like they were wishing to become one, and they don’t want to stop, they don’t want to be apart even from a second.

Unfortunately oxygen is needed to keep living so our lips let go of each other. I look at Hyunseong’s face which is really red and his chest is going up and down rapidly because he is taking in the air in large amounts. At that moment I can’t do nothing but smile because I can bet my guitar that I look exactly the same.

“I love you too” Hyunseong’s words take me by surprise, the smile on his face telling me he is sincere, that his feelings are too. I smile at him in return as I feel warm all over my body.

This means we are together on this, it doesn’t matter what happens, it doesn’t matter other people, the only thing that we should care about is each other and this feeling, this feeling that seems stronger to anything I have felt before. This feeling that has taken over me from head to toes.

Without wasting another second I kiss Hyunseong.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Me?? Updating again?? And you guys didn't wait a month??

Well, thank my friend Jlpikamin for pushing me to write another chapter fast kkkk

So, this is NOT the end. There are still a lot of questions to be answer .... like: Where was Hyunseong all this time?? Would Jeongmin go to the audition on Starship Ent?? Would Jeongmin dad kill him for skiping school?? And my favorite: Why Jeongmin's dad hates Hyunseong so much??

Please, be patient and all of this will be answered.

Thank you guys for making me smile with your comments. Even if I don't reply them It doesn't mean I don't read them. I really do and I am always thankful because you guys makes me want to keep writting ^^

Ok.... TOO MANY FEELS.... anyway!!

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