Long chapter ahead. Please read through all.

After the invitations from Aron and Doyoon, up until this point, I still haven't given any word to those boys whether I could be their dates or not. I'm still in my big dilemma since I have no idea on how to respond and answer them without having any of those boys to get hurt or anything. Well not that I care about their feelings or if I feel like they really like me that way, I just don't want to disappoint any of them because for me, disappointing Seventeen, especially Soonyoung, is already a pain in the and I'm trying to promise myself that I will try my best to not disappoint anyone ever again.

The boys had still not given me any information about how they're doing and where in the world they are at, either. My eye bags are getting more and more obvious as I keep on thinking about them. Not that I have any bad feelings or anything, I'm just simply worried. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them, even when I know I can do nothing to help them out in the first place.

I am devastated. Totally devastated. I'm dying to know any information about them. If they're  okay then at least either Soonyoung or Seungcheol or who ever it is should've given me something to know about, but no, they didn't. Does that mean they're not okay, then?

As much as I hate to think about it, having the idea that one or some of them might be badly injured is really frustrating me out. What if Soonyoung was badly beaten up? What if Seungcheol can't manage the boys to their victory? What if Hansol's wound was opened again?

The more I think about it, the more fear and insecurities I have. I should've stopped them back when Chan told me they're going for another fight. I know it wouldn't effect them of anything, but u should've at leased tried. And I know I should've run faster to see Soonyoung just to give him a one last hug.

I miss him. I miss him so bad.

Never in my entire life have I missed anyone his much. Not even my parents who doesn't even always visit us every year. Soonyoung was a whole different story than this. He's the person that I actually and really hangs my life on, and the worst part is, I just realized it.

Not that I don't love Seungcheol. I love him, truly, as my big brother. But it's not like Seungcheol is someone I could ever feel scared to be left about. I mean, I'm scared if anything bad happened to him of course, but-.. Yeah, you got the point, right?

My school projects and homeworks were badly messed up as I can't concentrate on any of them. My mind is always wondering around on how the boys are doing right now or why they're not contacting me just yet.

I take my chemistry book and clumsily, because of my over thinking thing with Seventeen, I accidentally dropped the chemical flask and make everything spilled on the floor with the glass pieces all over it "I-I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Doyoon said, surprisingly bending down and clean the thing up "I'll clean it up and you should just fill in the papers, okay?”

"B-But I'm the one who-.."

"I know, but you're still spacing out right now and I won't let you to risk your fingers to get cut by these glass, so yeah.. Just do your papers" he said, smiling genuinely to me. He begin to clean the mess up without giving the teacher time to realize the little chaos.

I smiled to myself. Doyoon is surely a guy who's very thoughtful. He was surely right about me having the big chance to cut my own self if I was the one cleaning it and to realize that he actually care about me that much is really touching.

He sat back to his chair after cleaning up he mess and looked at me worriedly, "Are you alright? You've been spacing out a lot lately. Is there anything I could help with?"

I replied in my head, yes, but I surely won't say it out. I won't tell him that I'm still worrying about Soonyoung too much. The fact that a Doyoon hadn't brought up the prom invitation anymore is already such an uncomfortable feeling for me. He knows that I'm thinking about Soonyoung, obviously, and he's giving me some space to think. How nicer can a guy ever be like, right?

"No, I'm just tired" I lied and showed him my best sincere smile "I just have too many things to work on, that's all"

"Are you sure? You look a lot more worse than that, though"

I only nod to myself, trying to stop saying anymore lies to my only one friend.

"Okay then. You know you can always ask me for help, right? I might not be the top student but I'm still good at certain areas" Doyoon smiled. Again, I only nod to him and turn back to my papers. Doyoon turned back to his papers too and start to work on it again until he asked, "Have you heard anything from Seventeen?"

I stopped my writing, look at him who’s now staring at me with full attention and can only shake my head, “They haven’t said a thing to me nor reply any my calls and texts. I’m worried about them, truly. I just don’t understand why haven’t they give any words for me to believe that they’re okay”

“Oh, so it’s not only about school works that got you all frustrated now, is it?” Doyoon said, letting out an amused chuckle “Maybe they need some space or something. You know, as a guy, I don’t really want to meet anyone after I got myself in a fight. Winning or losing, in the end, you would feel somewhat guilty to yourself. Maybe that’s why the boys haven’t give you any words yet”

I raised an eyebrow, “Really? You think so?”

“Well I don’t know about them, but that would be something I feel after a fight. Maybe they would do the same” Doyoon shrugged “And they might also come to some private places to calm down like a secret place they know themselves to actually breath some air in. I mean, you would obviously come to somewhere relaxing if you have a lot of things in mind, right? I bet Seventeen are actually having tons of things to work on, in front and/or behind you, so I think maybe you should come to the places they would ‘secretly’ visit. Who knows that you would actually see any of them, right?”

I chew my pencil, thinking on how stupider I get to not think about it earlier. Sure I went to places the boys might visit, but they’re obviously the ones that they would avoid since it would be too straight forward to come there after the ‘big fight’. They must’ve gone to places only they themselves know to simply calm down or just loosen the muscles on their shoulders for a moment. Geez, how stupid-er can you get, ___-ah?!

But where would the boys go, then? I obviously don't know other bases than the one they’ve left, so where to go? They won’t come to their houses, that’s for sure. They won’t come to school either cause I would definitely saw them if they do. They won’t come anywhere near their neighborhood, then where would they go?

Where would Soonyoung go?

Oh no, wait..

Can he go..

Can he really go..

Can he actually go..

The back garden?

I bite my lower lip as the thought ran across my mind. Maybe he really did come cause he himself once said that it is the very special place for him to just loosen the tension a bit or just to think calmly. Maybe he really did go to that special place. Maybe he did.

Oh geez, why didn’t I even thought of that place?! If I’m in Soonyoung’s shoes, then the very first place I would come would be the garden, right? Urgh, stupid me!

I glance at the class’s clock, 25 more minutes till the class is over. 25 more minutes till school is over. 25 more minutes till I can run my to the back garden and hope to see no one but Soonyoung there. He would be there, right?

Come on, Soonyoung.. Don’t fail on me in this..

***

I quietly walk to the back garden and try to not make any squeak from the old rusty gate. My heart beat is getting more and more faster and beads of sweat are forming on my forehead. I don’t know why, but they just do. I feel so pumped up yet tensed at the same time as the idea of seeing Soonyoung might actually happen.

From afar, as I actually step in the garden, I can actually see a shilouette of someone, in his black snapback, sitting on one of the benches with head down. My heart literally stopped at that time as I look at him better. His skinny body is getting even more skinnier and he looked like a lost person. He looked tired and extremely frustrated, even when I haven’t seen his face, I can already tell this.

“S-Soonyoung?” I said as I walk closer. He slowly raise his head and hell I was officially the happiest girl alive at that time. I run to him, pulling him into a tight hug that he actually stood up from his seat, and burried my face on his shoulder “Oh my God, it’s really you!”

I got all emotional from this whole scene and cried on his shoulder. I can hear his heavy breathing and feel his body tensed up as I crushed my body on his, but I gave no damn about it. I didn’t even have the time to think about the bad things on why he didn’t instantly reply my hug. It took him around 45 seconds to finally reply my hug and it was done in a very slow motion way like he wasn’t even sure if he should reply the hug or not.

“Oh God, it’s really you! I’m so worried about you, you jerk!”

He didn’t reply. Instead, he placed a hand on my head and patted me gently. He tightened his hug and for a moment there I could’ve swear that he let out a very big sigh. Not sure what it was for, but I’m hoping he felt glad to see me, too.

I let go of the hug after what feels an eternity for us and I know that Soonyoung actually wants to make it last longer as he didn’t let me go for a few seconds there. I was smiling at him as I let go, but my smile quickly fade away as I saw his face clearly under his snapback, “Oh my goodness, what happened to you?!”

I gently cupped his cheeks and took off his snapback, throwing it somewhere around the garden. I examine his bruised cheeks, cut lip, and black eye. His left eye was badly beaten that he literally have no eyes anymore. It was swollen and really black. Even seeing it makes me want to cry.

“I’m fine, don’t worry”

“What do you mean by fine?! Have you seen yourself in a mirror?!” I yelled “Oh my God, look at your eyes and cheeks.. What happened? Who did this to you?”

“I’m fine, no need to worry about me, okay?” he said and let go of my hands. He walked away from me and look down to the water fauntain. Soonyoung look frustrated at this rate. Really frustrated. He messed his hair and let out a big sigh. His shoulders were defleated down like he was really on the edge of giving up to whatever he’s facing with and the fact that I have no idea on what to do really hurts myself.

I walk myself closer to him and turn him to face me. His eyes were really showing his emotion right now and I can’t help but to do this one thing, the most bizarre thing I’ve done in my entire life, I pulled Soonyoung for a kiss.

On the lips.

I wanted to cry at how this kiss doesn’t feel as soft as it used to be. His lips were badly cut that it doesn’t feel that smooth and soft anymore and I can’t help but to let a tear drop. The fight had really damaged him. It has really damaged Soonyoung. My Soonyoung.

Soonyoung was obviously shocked about my action since our relationship was never as intimate as how it is now. It was only a fine cute puppy couple thing where you only go out in dates with no kisses or skinship and such. I can tell that he was reallly surprised at how stiff his body was as I touch his cut lips. And just like the hug, it takes a few moment for him to finally reply my action.

His right hand was cupping my cheek and his thumb slowly wipe my tear away. He was, as always, gentle with the kiss. None of us was dominating from each other. None is actually trying to, anyway. We just want to share this moment together and make this favorable. Healing the missing wound we have from the past few days.

After for about a minute of our kiss, we finally broke it up and Soonyoung quickly welcome my eyes with his one special smile. His hand was still cupping my left cheek and now the other one had find itself to play with my hair, “Your hair got longer, I suppose”

“Yeah, lots of things changed as you were gone” I said, sarcasticly “Where were you, anyway? I mean, I know you guys went for the fight thing but I didn’t know that it would take this long of time period”

“Well we just need to handle a few more things as they didn’t turn as perfect as they’re suppose to” He said, pointing at his face.

“Not funny” I said, slapping his chest and walk away from him “No, seriously, where were you? Why didn’t you give me any call? I was worried dead about you guys!”

“I know, I’m sorry.. I wanted to call you but I didn’t think it was best to see you in this condition so I kinda want to hold back until I look a bit better than this. I don’t want you to worry about me or anything, that’s why I don’t want to meet or call you first”

“Wait.. Does that mean.. Does that mean that the other Seventeen boys are hurt too?”

Soonyoung look away, kicking the small pebbles as he walk to the bench “Yes”

“Oh my God! How are-..”

“But you don’t need to worry, nothing bad as what happened to Hansol repeated itself, so it wasn’t a biggy” he said “I’m probably the most injured one this fight, so you don’t need to worry”

“No need to worry my . You’re hurt like this and you told me to not worry about you?! Are you nuts?!” I said, sitting next to him “You should’ve told me that you’re hurt like this so I can come to you straight away and take care of you”

“Exactly, I don’t want to tell you cause I don’t want to create more trouble for you. I’m fine, I really am. Don’t worry about me, okay?”

“B-But you’re-..”

“So, how’s school, ___-ah?”

Now this is what I hate about Soonyoung. He would never let me worry about him even for such serious thing like this. He would never let me have anything in mind about him that might actually get me worried. He would always try to find another topic to talk about or just literally walk away from me in order to keep this one faith he has.

I sigh at how stubborn he gets, “It’s fine, I guess.. Oh, I do have a question for you, though”

“Question? About?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Prom”

“Prom?”

I nodded, “Prom”

“You’re going to the prom? I didn't know you care for such thing”

“N-No! I'm not, actually.. But I was just wondering if you would ask me to the prom or not” I said “Because someone had asked me if I would to come or not with them, so..”

“Oh, really? Who’s he?” he asked, looking amused that someone actually ask his freak girlfriend to the prom.

Pft, you annoying pants, Mr. Dumbbell!

“Well Aron asked me on one lunch time if I would come with him and Doyoon also asked right after that, so I was wondering.. Would you ask me for the prom too? Cause I’d just go with you if you ask so”

The smile on Soonyoung’s face disappeared as I mentioned their names. Oh yeah, Soonyoung is not a very good friend of Doyoon nor Aron.. Great.

I quickly take Soonyoung’s hand, trying to fix things if I still could, “I-I meant-..”

“Aron and Doyoon asked you to prom?”

“Y-You now what, let’s just forget this, okay? How’s Sevente-..”

“And what did you say to them?”

“Soonyoung I don’t want to-..”

“What did you say to them, ___?” Soonyoung asked, looking really tensed and stiff.

“I-I told them that I’d ask you first about it, so I didn’t-..”

Soonyoung then stood from his seat. His body was radiating heat from controling his anger in. I don’t exactly know why he gets mad like this. I mean, I know he doesn’t like Doyoon and Aron, but there’s still no reasonable reason for him to be as furious as he is right now. He was really mad that even though he hasn’t said a word, his body was still radiating anger and to be completely honest, I am really scared of him right now.

All of sudden, Soonyoung let out a chuckle that it really creeps me out. He place his hands on his hips and shook his head to himself “Aron and Doyoon asked you for prom?”

“Y-Yes, but you dont need to-..”

“Have you forgotten that you still in a relationship here?!”

I widen my eyes at how loud Soonyoung’s yell was. He was scolding me to the point where I can see flame of hatred on his eyes and veins of his neck. He was mad. Really mad. Never in my entire time of knowing him have I seen him like this. This is a very different side of Soonyoung.

And I have no idea how to respond to this side of his.

“I-I haven’t said a word-..”

“I was worried dead about you since I can’t contact you or anything, and yet here you are, thinking on which of the boys to go to the prom with when you still have a boyfriend?! Unbelievable”

“What, it wasn’t my fault that they asked me! I didn’t even-..”

“Oh hell I know it’s not your fault. Your fault is how you get the heart to tell me that two of those people that you know I extremely hate about, asked you on a prom while I was gone, and hell you’re still thinking about them instead of rejecting them in the first place because of the fact that you’re still in a relationship with someone right now”

“But I wasn’t really that caught up with the invitation if you ever count me as a cheated girlfriend or-..”

“Oh no, I would never count you as a cheating girlfriend, but for sure you’re not the holiest and most faithful girlfriend in this world, ___”

I stepped back. Soonyoung’s words really stung my heart and I couldn’t help but to cried from it. I couldn’t believe the guy I kissed a few minutes ago, changed into this beast and inderictly suggesting that I’m cheating behind him while he was gone.

Oh no wait, not cheating, I’m just not the holiest nor most faithful girlfriend, that’s it.

I stood from my seat, gripping my backpack strap so hard that my knuckles went white from it. I stood in front of him and show him my deeply hurt eyes as I stare at him right to his eyes. Surprisingly, he did nothing.

Nothing.

“I am not the best girlfriend you can actually get, Kwon Soonyoung. I acknowledge that. But you should’ve never question my faith in this relationship, because whether you want to admit it or not, I’m the must hurting person in this situation”

He says nothing.

“I admit that I’m in blame for thinking about other boys’s invitation when I still have you as my boyfriend, but we should never forget that there is a reason that I somehow ‘forgot’ that I actually have one. Or maybe now that you put it this way, how I actually tried to forget that I actually have one”

He still says nothing.

“But in my defense, from all of these pain, that you might consider as nothing, that I’ve faced, you were never there when I needed you. Aron was kind enough to always be there for me on lunch time when I feel lonely and I think everyone would agree on how sweet he really is to care about me when I became spacing a lot and how I have these eye bags nowadays”

Now he looks away.

“You don’t even know that I was that stressed out thinking about you, right?”

“Stop” he said.

“And as for Doyoon,” I continued, ignoring his word “He was the most gentleman and friendliest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. How he actually helps me out of all problems I have and how he doesn’t judge me, even when you guys bullied them before, is a really charming way to look at. Who wouldn’t want that kind of person to be in your life, right? He’s sweet, smart, caring-..”

“I said, stop!”

“.. and it’s actually such a pity that no one acknowledge his true self because of how you guys bullied them before. Other students are too afraid to get close to Doyoon since they thought he might spread out his bully victim virus to them. And do you-..”

SLAP!

I widen my eyes and tears started to form from them. I slowly touched my cheek and was very shock at the sudden action Soonyoung just did. The stinging pain was still plastered on it and I could’ve sworn that it was red from the sudden harsh contact.

Soonyoung just slapped me.

He just did.

I look at him with disbelief, hurt, lost, disappointed, all mixed feelings together, and get even more deeper to that black hole in my heart as I saw his straight expression face, looking down at me like he just did nothing. Like what he just done is just nothing. Like slapping me was just nothing.

Like I deserve the slap.

“I told you to stop” he said. He walked away from me, and picked up his snapback. He put it back on and just walk away like nothing happened.

Before he finally exited the garden, he stopped on his pace and talk to me in the most coldest tone that I didn’t even believe for a second there that it was the Kwon Soonyoung I knew to ever say such words, “If you really think that that Jang Doyoon of yours is really that perfect. In fact, if you really believe that he’s that perfect, then maybe you should’ve started a relationship with him instead from the first place. Maybe dating me was a mistake after all”

“S-Soonyoung-..”

“I’m tired. I’m done”

“Soonyoung!” I shouted, but he just keep on walking away that his figure finally disappeared from my sight. I wanted to run after him but my legs were locked on my spot and very jelly that I didn’t have the energy to catch him up. My hands were still on my burning cheek and tears were still streaming down that it wet my cheek and make it even more hurting. Not from the physical way, but in a mental one. I just can’t believe that Soonyoung actually get to physical thing in this. He was never a man to go physical when it gets to our relationship. Never.

I think this whole gangster and fighting thing had really gotten into the bad side of our relationship life. It has given it’s unhealthy effect that, look at it now. Look at how complicated and ruined our relationship has gotten. I don’t even think that I still have the faith to fight for this relationship if Soonyoung had even acted this way to me. I don’t even think that I still have the will to try my best to keep this relationship going. I don’t even think-..

I should call him.

Slight hatred then begin to appear itself in my heart that Soonyoung is now becoming someone I don't want to meet ever again. I run myself to the bench, throwing my backpack away and search for my phone inside of it. My sobbing is getting more and more ugly from each breath but I hold them in as I said on the phone, “Hey, oppa? Um yeah, about the prom.. I accept your invitation”

---

[Hello Guys!

Oh. My. God.
I should say that this one chapter is one or probably my most favorited chapter because of how the up and down feeling and how it was sweet in the first scene then got all tensed and emotional on the next one. But how did you guys think though? Was it okay? Too long? Too wordy? Too cliche?

Again, I would loev to hear you comments down below so please do leave me some comments on what you guys think about this story. 

Anyway, who do you think ___ would go with? Aron or Doyoon?

ouo ]