It has been days since the accident and I’m finally back at home. I got this bed rest permission for about 2 weeks and some of my casts were already taken off, leaving only the one on my left hand and some bandages.

Seungcheol hadn’t talk to me at all. The day when I was off charged of the hospital, he didn’t come and helped me out. It was all Soonyoung who helped me placing my things back to the luggage and fetch me home. He was also the one who paid for all of the hospital fees that I haven’t paid. Was Seungcheol really mad at me?

My friendship with Doyoon was getting better since we exchanged our number and we’re getting closer to each other since he was no other than me, a loner.

Today I tried to get to school with my left cast and bandages still on. My hair was tied in a ponytail and I was ready to get to school as I walk down to the kitchen to make breakfast.

I made ramen, Seungcheol’s favorite, and hoped that he would at least smile at me today. So I placed the bowl on the table and waited for about 10 minutes until Seungcheol came down. He stared at me for a moment and I quickly take the chance to greet him, “Good morning! I’ve made you breakfast”

He stared at the hot bowl of noodle and looked at it with plain expression. He stare back at me and walked away as I could faintly heard he said, “Not hungry”

God, Seungcheol, did I really hurt you that bad, oppa?

I bitterly smile at the bowl of ramen in front of me. In no time, I could hear a low voice of door closing, which means that Seungcheol had left for school, leaving me alone when he knows that I’m heading to school, too. I don’t know was he just trying to show me that he doesn’t approve me to go to school like how he used to say, or he’s just simply ignoring me. Either way, I just wanted him to know that I’m really missing him. I miss my brother.

***

“He hasn’t talk to you? Until now?”

I shook my head as Doyoon oppa asked me with his disbelief tone. I lazily steer the straw to my chocolate milk and stare at it blankly. We were in the cafeteria for lunch now. But even though I have a new table mate to share lunch with, I’m still feeling incomplete since Seungcheol’s still ignoring me.

The kids were staring at us when we walk in the corridor together for the first time. It’s like, ‘So the loser finally find her mate. Great! New couple to make fun, at!’ but they did nothing. If I could have a penny for every kids who stares at us, we’ll be the richest kid in the world for sure.

“I’ve never wanted to make it seems like I choose you over him, or anything. But, no offense, okay” I said as he replied with a nod “.. But he still ignores me, even when I tried to cook him ramen, and just so you know, he would trade his life for a bowl of ramen. Trust me”

“Yeah well, maybe he’s just wanting to protect you or something. I mean, doing it for your own good”

“Geez, what’s with me and that ‘protection’ word, nowadays?!” I said as I put my fork down “People keep on saying ‘We’re doing this for your own good’ or ‘We just wanted to protect you’ and other similar stuffs. Can’t they just say what am I being protected from so I could watch over myself?”

“You really don’t know?”

“No. Do you?”

It took him a moment to answer as he stared at my eyes, scanning if he could find any lying on it, but in the end, he shook his head “Nope. I don’t”

I rolled my eyes, “Geez, false hope giver”

Doyoon oppa only chuckled as he placed another piece of meat to his mouth. He was quietly muching it down until he stops, “Does Soonyoung do the same thing with you? I mean, the cold treatment and stuff”

“Soonyoung.. Well he doesn’t ignore me as much as Seungcheol does, but compared to how caring he was to me before, it was different. As in.. He never texted me anymore. We would only text if I text him first and it would only last for a couple moment”

I sighed as I realized how pitiful-er my life is right now. I desperately want to turn back in time and just live my old life. If I could, I would want to just ask Mom to move me back to my old school and try to get my old life back, but-.. Hey!

“Doyoon oppa! I think I’m done with my lunch” I said with a big grin “I need to go first. See you later, okay?”

Doyoon was having this confused look on his face but I quickly left the spot as he nodded, “Oh.. Okay”

***

I run a little to the roof top as I exited the cafeteria. Why didn’t I think of it any earlier? Geez, stupid brain of mine!

I take out my phone and immediately dialed the foreign number, “Hello?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Mom!” I squealed in happiness. Mom’s voice was the only thing that could sooth my mind and calm me down after all these days. My life had been in a complete hectic that I can’t even remember how long haven’t I called her.

“Hey, honey! How have you been? Why haven’t you call us? Were you really that busy these days?”

“Oh Mom, you have no idea” I said as I mentally rolled my eyes “Where’s Dad?”

“Oh he just woke up. It’s 5 A.M here, remember?”

“Oh yeah, different hours.. Sorry for the wrong timing”

“It’s never a wrong timing for your calls, honey” Mom said with a warm tone “How have you been? How’s Seungcheol?”

I sighed, “Mom, that’s the problem. I don’t even know how Seungcheol’s doing now”

“How so? I thought I moved you to Seungcheol’s-..”

“School. Yes, I’m a Pledis High student, now. But what I meant was.. Me and Seungcheol got into this.. Misunderstanding problem and he’s so mad at me that he doesn’t want to talk to me up until now. And the fight was about 2 weeks ago, Mom! Two weeks!”

“Hm, well that’s a very long time for Seungcheol to ignore you, honey” she said. She remained quiet for a moment as she thought, I think. It was true, though. The longest time Seungcheol could handle it to ignore me is a day, and that’s because he went to Grandma’s house in Busan and got home the other way which makes him has to postpone his apologize for the pure misunderstanding.

“It is, Mom! I’m really frustrated about his actions now. He wouldn’t even want to touch the food I cooked for him, and it was ramen! His most favorite food!”

“Really? He didn’t? Well it must be a really serious problem you and Seungcheol have, sweetheart” she said “Maybe you need to lock yourself up with him and explain the whole things up, softly. You know that your brother can’t handle his anger any better than a mad buffalo, right? That’s why you must be the water, here. You need to be the calm one, and if he curse or won’t listen to you, just bear with it a moment. I’m sure he would melt down slowly to you”

“Yeah.. I hope so..”

I tried to sink down Mom’s word. Her words were basically what I tried to do these past days, but it still didn’t turned out good. It’s just a simple misunderstanding, then why’s he making a big deal out of it? I mean, what’s so wrong about being friend with someone he once bullied before? If anyone should be avoiding me at the point, then it’s supposed to be Doyoon, not Seungcheol.

“But Mom..”

“Yes, honey?”

I had this small conflict in my head about to tell her more about the problem. I mean, including the gangster and other stuffs. Not to mention that I still have no friend but Doyoon.. But I don’t think telling Mom about who Seventeen really is would help, and besides, I don’t really know what kind of game they’re playing right now, so maybe I should just shut my mouth for a little bit longer..

“Princess, are you there?’

“O-Oh, yes Mom” I said as I snapped back to reality “I think that’s all I wanted to say now.. When will you come to visit us, again?”

“Oh, honey.. Your Dad has been more busy about his new business and I don’t think we could come until the spring break..”

“Oh, that’s okay.. I’ll tell Seungcheol you said hi, okay?”

“Yes, thank you, honey” she said, and I think I could hear her smile “Take care, okay? And call me again if the situation doesn’t get any better. I’ll try to talk to your brother if it happens”

“Okay, Mom. Thanks, bye”

With that, I hung up.

***

“Hey, Seung-.. Where are you going?”

I quickly stood up from the couch as I saw Seungcheol with a big backpack on his shoulder. The bag was so stuffy but it doesn’t look fluffy. What did he put in it? Rocks?

“None of your business” he said as he placed the bag on the floor harshly, making a big thump on the floor. He quickly walk to the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles of cold water and put it on his backpack. He was too serious on his bag that he didn’t even stare at me for a single second. His eyebrows were twitched once in a while as he checked God knows what inside of the bag.

“Are you still that mad at me?”

No answer.

“Seungcheol, I’m talking to you”

“And I’m not talking to you, back”

Geez, if I don’t remember Mom’s words to be the water here, I’ll definitely bite his head off in annoyance. What the heck did I do wrong to make him turn into this kind of annoying pants?!

“I called Mom this afternoon” I said shortly with hands folded on on my chest as I stare at him sternly. He looked at my spot as I mentioned the word ‘Mom’ and he changed his expression to this one surprised look, “She said hi to you and-..”

“Why would you call her?!” he shouted at me, making me to stumble back. He yelled at me and his face was fuming in anger, “Do you think I didn’t take care of you well?!”

“W-What are you talking about?! I was just calling her because I missed her!”

“Lies! What did you say to her? That I’m a gangster and you wanted to move with her?!”

“What, no! Of course, no! I want to stay with you! I want to-..”

“You know what, if you want to move, then go. I don’t want to take care of you any more. Just go with Mom and never come back” he said and walk back to his backpack. He grabbed it harshly and I could hear the loud bumped of the bag with his back. It must’ve hurt, but he didn’t budged and continued his pace to the front door.

I was in the edge of crying at how harsh my brother was treating me, lately. I can’t let him go before we settle things down. I just can’t.

So I did the craziest thing I might ever do in my life. I take my right foot slipper and throw it to him which landed straight on his head. I was aiming for his shoulder, I swear, but I didn’t even know that I was such a good thrower that I think I should just apply myself to the football club.

Seungcheol stopped on his pace and dropped the bag. It was about 3 seconds that he stood there stiffly before turning to me. I was scared to death that tears run down my cheek unstoppably, “Don’t go.. I’m sorry”

“Did you just throw me with this?” he asked as he picked up my slipper “Did you just do this to me, ___-ah?”

“I’m sorry.. But you must listen to me first!”

“What else should I listen now, ___?! It’s clear that-..”

“What?! What’s clear to you, Seungcheol?! Why’re you acting this cold and harsh to me?! Don’t you know that it’s hurting me so much that I feel like I wanted to just stop breathing than to face another day of your ignorance?!” I said as I finally kneeled down, still with tears running down my cheek. I was tired, lost, and hurt. Never in my life I feel this down because Seungcheol would always be there to enlightened me up. But now, he turned into the person who brings me even deeper to sadness.

Seungcheol stood there without moving an inch to help me stand up. He just stare at me blankly like I’m a garbage floating on the pedestrian way. Usually I would be so hurt to see him treating me like this, but if this is the only way for him to finally put an attention, then I’ll be okay with it. “I didn’t mean to choose Doyoon over you, okay? I love you as my brother, Seungcheol oppa. I just feel so lonely, I have no friends-..”

“Isn’t the Seventeen boys enough for you, ___?”

“They’re more than enough, but they were never there when I need them” I said as I quickly cut him before he could cut me off first “I needed someone to be there at school and help me out with things. I needed a company at lunch and share stories with. I don’t know what game are you guys playing with, but if you could just tell me the rules so I would know what to do and what to not do..”

“There’s no game, nor rules. You just follow your instinct”

“Well then my instinct says that I should just be friend with Doyoon. I needed someone to hang out with at school and someone whom I could tell stories first before I could spill them out to you at home. I know you don’t want the kids to see me with you, that’s why I need to hold things up at school, right? But sometimes keeping thing you wanted to say is really hard, especially after you and the Seventeen boys ignore me like this..”

“So you’re blaming us, now?”

“No! No, I’m not! Geez,  Seungcheol please, listen to my words, first!” I cried out “I tried to understand you, I swear I did! Now, can’t you please try to undestand me, too? I don’t ask that much of favor for you to do. I just want you to stop ignoring me. You could ignore me all you want at school like you usually do. I wouldn’t want to harm your reputation, I swear. But please, don’t give me this kind of cold treatment anymore”

“Wait.. You think I ignore you because of my reputation at school?”

“Y-Yes.. I mean, is there any other reasons?”

Seungcheol looked away as he tried to think. His eyebrow raised and looked back at me. His face was really plain and I have no idea what it means. Is he mad at me? Will he listen to my words and do so? Will he changed back to normal?

He surprisingly walk to me with that plain face and I was starting to brace myself if he would do any violent stuffs, but to my surprise, he held my hands softly and helped me stand. He gave me this one handkerchief and and I slowly take it with shaky hands, erasing my tears away.

After giving me the piece of cloth, he turned his body away and take the bag. He placed that stuffy bag on his back and headed to the front door. I saw him walking away quietly and that’s the only thing I could do since my feet went all weak and I feel like all of my energy had drained somehow.

So Seungcheol left me on the house. Alone. With one big question still running on my head, are we back to normal again or not?

---

[ Hey guys! Posting a chapter because we had a Seventeen TV today, yeay!

Today's episode is really epic, tbh. I luuuv Wonwoo's hair and of course, our Radio DJ, Soonyoung! Oh, and very very big congratulation to Delphy unni who got called from them today! 진짜 축하에요 언니  

Oh and has anyone seen the teaser for NU'EST - M? There's gonna be an additional member for it and in case you haven't seen it, I'm telling you, HE'S CUTE AND HE'S MINE, kbye]