I blow out the candles and then all that can be heard is the roar of the wind as I stare at their tombstones. My body jerks back and forth as if I am heaving but the only fluid coming out is from my eyes.

I sob. I weep. I wail

Whatever verb for crying you can think of, I do.

I scream. I shout. I yell.

“This isn't fair!” I hiccup, “Why? Why did you have to take them from me?” I yell up to the heavens.

The setting sun lights up the sky with swirls of orange and pinks and the warm colors seem to settle above me as if in response to my exclamation.

Wiping my tears away, still hiccupping and jerking, I lay down in between their plots while letting out a huge breath of air. I gaze up at the setting sky through the low hanging branches of the tree that droops down, reaching out to me. This reminds me of when I was younger; I would crawl into my parent’s bed whenever I had a bad dream. Or when my dad was working a late shift at the hospital and I would sleep beside my mother so she wouldn’t feel so alone. Now I am the one alone, craving comfort, a warm body.

I close my eyes and pretend that I’m back in that bed, when everything was simple, when the only thing I missed was the TV show that night.  I can almost feel the wool pillow beneath my head and my mother’s warm breath on my neck as she snuggled closer to me. Seconds pass, which turn into minutes and minutes turn into an hour as I rest on the dewy grass. A ghost of a smile plays on my lips as I remember all the good memories I’ve had with my parents and in this town but soon they drift into the memories of Seoul and the new friends I’ve made there. I wonder what they’re doing right now. I hope they won’t be too mad when they see me. I wonder if I should go see them today or just wait till Monday.  

“Ari-ya”

My smile really manifests now and becomes a wide grin because now I’m hearing his voice. I must be really going insane or just suffering from a bad case of homesickness. Yeah I admit Seoul has become my home. There isn’t much for me here in Gunsan anymore. Revisiting the past and reopening my wounds every time I do isn’t healthy for me.

“Ari-ya” the voice says again pleading this time. My eyes fly open and I shoot up into a sitting position then whip my head around. My jaw unhinges. I wasn’t imagining the voice after all.

Jimin's POV (15 minutes prior)

"You should go first," she sighs pointing to the bare willow tree some 80 meters from us.

"Are you sure?" I ask but I can't hide the relief in my voice. I don’t think I can put off seeing her any longer.

She smiles and I can see the similarities in the siblings.  Though I have only seen her genuine smile once, about a week ago, I still indefinitely prefer the younger's wide grin. The image seems to be seared in my mind until her expression changed, drastically at the sight of me. I know she will be shocked once she sees me but hopefully it will end better this time, there isn’t anywhere else she can run anyways because now I have backup.

A lot of backup.

Haneul turns around and looks back at the herd of people that have come along with us. Bangtan and F4, all here shivering and fidgeting, fixing their coats and scarves. I follow her gaze and look at each of their faces which are bright with trepidation and I can tell they care about our missing friend as much as I do.

“She’ll definitely be shocked that you all are here,” Haneul breaths out, pushing her hands into her jacket pocket. “Maybe even angry but eventually she’ll be really grateful.”  

I nod agreeing with her; Troublemaker can be quite unpredictable with her actions. I’m surprised they all insisted on coming not that I mind the moral support they threw my way on the way here.

“Can you go get her already? Bora begs hopping up and down impatiently.

“Yeah, it’s cold out here, Suga unnecessarily adds.

“No one told you guys to come,” I quickly retort, annoyed that they’re rushing me. “Go back inside your cars if you want.”

“No, we’ve been driving for so l