I inhale sharply and press my back against the wooden doors as the realization slaps me in the face. Park Jimin. I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair in disbelief. I wonder why his dancing seems so different, and why does my heart flutter at the discover of this new side of Jimin. I've seen Jimin dance before but this time it's different.  Maybe it’s because I always watch him dance with Bangtan. They are so close and act so much like a family that it’s hard to watch one person individually and not at everyone as a whole when they have such unity.

It seems like Jimin has been holding back in those dances but now with only him and the music, he leaves his heart, his passion, his hard work, everything on the floor. I wonder why he’s been holding back, depriving people of his wonderful talent.

I’m snapped out of my thought by the sound of a door opening. My eyes dart around for somewhere to hide but then I stop. This is Jimin, my friend Jimin. So why am I so afraid of him finding me, seeing me in this state of unstableness. I still my beating heart and turn to face the opening door. Jimin walks through the door with only a white wife-beater on, apparently oblivious to my presence. I stiffen and try not to faint at how sculpted and fit he looks. Of course, he had to come out looking like a male model, while I look like a sack of potatoes. His toned biceps flex as he pulls his arms through our uniform’s white button-down shirt.  I watch fascinated by how he fixes his collar but then I remember I’m here to do something, not watch him dress. I clear my throat and he looks up. His eyes widen in surprise but then a smile spread across his face.

“Oh! Troublemaker, what are you doing here?” *Not that I mind* he thinks, smile growing wider.

“I just wanted to thank you for all the presents and the car ride. That was really cool.” I’m not sure if my voice reaches him because my head is lowered as I clean an invincible scuff mark off the ground, not daring to meet his eyes. Why do I suddenly feel so shy around him?

He laughs and I can’t help but smile a bit at the cheerful sound. “It’s no big deal. I just saw some stuff at the store that I thought you would like so I bought them. Did you like them?” Jimin inquires leaning down and angling his head so his face is in my line of vision. I jolt back but lift my head up to peer at him. He stares at me and patiently waits for me to respond but I’m more focused on his hands that are buttoning up his shirt.  How can he be so casual dressing in front of me like that? I blush and look away when Jimin smirks at me like he’s caught me doing something wrong.

I clear my throat and dare to meet his eyes, “Yeah I really liked them, especially the Pororo notebook set. Thanks again Jimin, that was really sweet of you.”

Jimin waves my thank you off humbly, “Aniya~ It’s the least I could do for my date.  If  you are really thankful, you can reward me later.” He taunts with a wink and a lip bite.

I roll my eyes but smile, “Uhh...I don’t think so. You could just say ‘You’re welcome!’ like a normal person but nooo, you have to be all suggestive with it.”

Jimin’s eyes widen as he looks at me with an innocent expression, “I meant maybe you could spare me a dance or two since I’ve never danced with you or seen you dance before. What were you thinking?” His eyes light up and he laughs, “I didn’t know you were so dirty minded~”

I chuckle awkwardly, and my face flushes red. I inwardly scold myself for forgetting to filter my words. “Oh shut up Jimin,” I say when he continues laughing, now at my embarrassed expression. “Well, I guess that’s all I wanted to say. I’m gonna leave now,” I mumble out wanting to leave as soon as possible so I don’t embarrass myself any further. I fast walk away from him and down the hallway towards the stairs.

“Troublemaker wait! Let’s go together!” I  spare a glance at him over my shoulder and I see him running after me while he tries to knot his tie at the same time. He stops running and yanks off the tie with a frustrated sigh, “Ugh. This stupid tie!”

 I chuckle when I see him struggling, guys just aren’t meant to multitask.  I shake my head and walk over to him, taking the tie from his hands and stifling a gasp when our hands brush. “Let me do it,"I and sling the tie over his neck, pulling Jimin slightly closer to me so I can properly do it. "What guy can’t even fasten his own tie?” I let my hands go to work knotting the tie correctly when I finish I smooth it down so it looks nice and presentable. If Jimin is found by a teacher his uniform isn't looking pristine he could get in trouble.

“Done,” I say satisfied by my handy work. Even if it’s not such a big deal, I’m glad I could help Jimin in some way. I look up and my eyes widen at how close Jimin really is to me. I can feel his warm minty breath on my face, and I shiver a little. His pink, soft-looking lips are so close to mine that just one misstep could bring them together. I tear my eyes from his lips up to his eyes and see he’s looking deeply into mine. I can feel him leaning in closer and I started to panic. OMG! Is he going to kiss me! Is this how my first kiss is going to be taken?

 But.... he passes my lips and goes for my ear instead, “Thanks,” he whispers. I can hear the amusement in his voice and I shove him away, annoyed at him for teasing me like that. He laughs and I glare at him, this time his laughter doesn’t sound nice, it sounds mocking, as if he is ridiculing my feelings with only the tenor of his voice.

“You thought I was going to kiss you, didn’t you?” He asks wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I blush and avert my gaze, “Did not!”  I try not to feel disappointed but it’s hard.  I turn around and start walking once again so he won’t see the disappointment written on my face.

Jimin snickers, seeing my actions as me feigning anger.  “Hey I’m sorry, don’t be mad,” he apologizes when I don’t slow down. Jimin quickly follows after me until he’s walking beside me. I glance over and see he’s looking down at his tie with a satisfied grin, turning it this way and that before letting it drop down against his chest.     

“How did you learn to knot a tie so well?” he asks feeling my gaze on him. I smile a bit when a memory resurfaces, making me feel nostalgic.

“Before my dad went to work in the mornings I used to help him fasten his ties too. He was almost as clueless as you,” I reply, playfully nudge Jimin with my elbow.

He chuckles, his eyes disappearing into his famous eye smile , “I’m not even going to deny it. But you said used to?” he queries raising an eyebrow. “You don’t help your poor dad anymore? He must be heartbroken.” Jimin replies teasingly and nudges me back.

My body stiffens and my smile along with all the happiness slowly drains out of me. I try to keep my eyes trained forward so Jimin can’t see the sadness that fills them. I lower my head and gaze down at my shoes as I resume walking again. Why did I have to bring up my parents, my dad? I don’t want to lie to Jimin again but I also don’t want to tell him the truth either. He’ll probably be disgusted that I lied about them and by the fact that I’m the one who caused their deaths.  

“Troublemaker?” When I don’t respond Jimin places his hand on my arm, stopping me from walking any further. I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the worried tone of his voice. ”Huh?”  I turn to him and see he looks concerned, waiting for me to explain my strange behavior. I opt to just change the subject, since I’m not ready to spill all my dirty secrets just yet.

I pout and whine, “What now? I’m so hungry~ We should hurry up and go before lunch ends! I even heard they’re serving spaghetti today!” I excitedly reply walking faster and gesturing for Jimin to follow me.

He narrows his eyes, curiosity and concern shining in them. What is she hiding? But he can’t help but to chase after me as his stomach growls for food.  

At lunch, I eat my food in silence.  I’m too busy trying to sort through all the thoughts running through my head to converse with anyone. All my thoughts seem centered around one thing, one person actually.  Can you guess who? If you guessed Park Jimin, then good for you because you’re right.  Here’s a cookie.

I think about what I saw today, his dancing and how badly I wanted to join him even though I have sworn off dancing. I think about how many times I’ve lied or for better words, obscured the truth from him about my parents when he readily trusted me about his own. I think about the way he makes my heart flutter just with one glance and how my mood can brighten with just one smile from him. I think about how caring, kind and friendly he is when he doesn’t have to be. I think about how he unknowingly eased the pain I felt from my parents passing away by just being there, for being a friend. I think about how I’ve completely fallen for him. That last thought makes me blush and smile like an idiot.

What is wrong with me! I aggressively stab my plate of spaghetti as I have an internal battle with myself. I shouldn’t be feeling this way! Jimin probably only wants to be friends with me and I should be satisfied with our current relationship. I shake the thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on the topic any longer. I force myself to not get too wrapped up in my thoughts and actually participate in the conversation happening around me. I’m not surprised it’s about the Father-Daughter and Mother-Son dance happening tonight, it’s been the topic of the day for all students at BHSA, even the teachers.

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