Jimin’s POV

“You still should have told me. I would have listened. I wouldn’t have cared as long as you were being honest. But no, you lied. You lied the first time I told you about my mom! You lied about your parents being out of town! I have been nothing but honest since the day I met you and this, this is how you repay me.” I snap walking closer and closer to her, the anger and hurt growing with every word. I don’t think she understands how deep this cuts.

“My god. What else have you lied about? Do you... do you even like me?” I ask as a memory similar to this resurfaces. I push it down, not wanting it to emerge from the dark crevices of my mind. I can’t believe I even have to ask that question, but what am I supposed to believe anymore? Is there ever a truth in the midst of lies? I lower my head and I tiredly wipe my face with my hand, trying to rub away the remains of that day as I shakily breathe.

Again the memories return like hungry creatures clinging to a rope using these same emotions, betrayal, anger, distrust, pain, as a lifeline to come back and destroy me all over again. I feel the burning in my eyes, the tightness in my throat and I shake my head. No, do not go there. Jimin, do not go back there. Do not cry for her again. So I take those memories and lock them back up in their safe, not wanting them to effect the present, the now. But they already have because when I look back up. When I look into Troublemaker’s eyes, I feel those old wounds open again. Because when I look at Troublemaker I don’t see her, I see her.

“You know what, don’t even answer that. Forget what I said earlier about liking you. Forget it all. I could never like a liar, I could never like you.” I spit the words out, my answer also warped by memories of her.

Are liars just attracted to me? Do I seem easily fooled, easily manipulated? I stare at Troublemaker and see my words crash against her like a violent wave but nothing could compare to the storm raging inside of me. I watch as her face falls like a vase, a vase that is suspended in the air for a few seconds, tumbling downwards to it’s certain demise until bam it drops into a million pieces. She stumbles backwards and as she moves, I realize she truly is those shattered pieces. She looks so hurt, so wounded by my words, like she actually...cares.  

I turn on my heel and walk away with even steady steps because even through the anger, even though the betrayal, I feel guilt as I see her reaction. I wasn’t expecting that she would be hurt, that she would feel anything by my words. Ari’s reaction is completely different than her’s. As I walk towards the door I think that if Ari is those shattered pieces then I’m the fool who tries to put her back together. I sprint out of the school, away from Troublemaker and hopefully away from the memories that haunt me. No matter how hard I try to deny it, I still care. Not only for Ari but for her.

The cold air clings onto me like smoke even after I am inside my warm building. After leaving the rooftop I sprinted out of the school. I couldn’t be there any more. My mind was still racing with all the things Troublemaker told me. Swarming with the lies and the confessions. I was livid with anger, I couldn’t believed this happened to me again. Why does everyone I care about seem to lie to me? Why does it seem like history is repeating itself?

I close my apartment door and lean my back against it, slightly panting from trying to run all the way home. My keys fall out of my hand and to the ground before I slowly lower myself to sit beside them. I bring my knees to my chest and bury my head in my arms. I can’t keep trying to run away from the memories, it’s time to face them.

I had begun texting I’m about to leave the house, I’ll pick you up soon when she called. A smile immediately spread across my face when my screen displayed Jagi <3 and  I quickly picked up.

“Hey love, I was just about to text you but you called. It’s weird how things work like that, anyways I’m about to leave the hous-”

“Jimin, I don’t think *cough* I’ll be able to make it to our date *cough* tonight,” she said in a tired voice. My smile dropped and I clenched the phone tighter in my hand, looking down at my other hand which held an open jewelry box. Inside was a beautiful necklace I was planning on giving her tonight after dinner, tonight was our six month anniversary. I try to pick up my smile and not sound so disappointed. This was the third date she had cancelled on me, in a row.

“Oh that , I had something special planned  too.”

“I’m sorry Jimin. I don’t even know where this cold came from.*sneeze* I really wish I could make it,” she sounded genuinely sick and I was worried, hoping it was nothing serious. “No, it’s totally fine. You just focus on getting better. Get some rest, we can reschedule the date later.” I said closing the box and hiding away the glittering silver necklace.

“I’m sorry Jimin.”

I didn’t want her to feel bad so I masked my disappointment and replied in a cheery voice, “No really it’s fine! At least now I won’t have to wait forever for you to get dressed.”

“Oh shut up, I don’t even take that long. You take longer than me!” she retorted.

I laughed, “Sureeee, but really get some rest okay? Happy sixth month anniversary jagiya.”

“Happy sixth month anniversary Jimin.”

“I love you, bye.”

“Okay, bye.” she replied then hung up.

I lowered my phone, wondering why she didn’t return the I love you, it was how we always ended our calls. I didn’t think much about it though, just summing it up to her being tired and wanting to go back to bed. Foolish.

I had undressed, changing out of my nice dinner clothes into more comfortable clothes. I flopped on the couch with a sigh wondering what I should do with my Friday night. I didn’t really feel like hanging with the boys, I just wanted to see my girlfriend. As I flipped through the channels on TV, an idea popped into my head as a cooking channel whizzed past. I should bring her soup! That way I could still hang out with her and nurse her back to health. I jumped off the couch and grabbed my wallet and keys off the counter. My “best boyfriend” points were gonna skyrocket, I thought grinning.

I was walking down the street towards a porridge shop since I knew she would like that better than soup. After I bought the hot steaming porridge and also bought a box of her favorite tea, Earl Grey, I headed towards her apartment complex. I was getting closer to it and with every step I took I imagined her surprised face when she would open the door and I would be standing there. How I would cuddle her and kiss her and present the necklace while we watched some lame movie on her couch.

I was a few feet away from her building’s door when it opened and she walked out. I froze when I saw her in a flowy red dress with her hair curled, just how I liked it. It was definitely not a sick person’s attire, so I knew she was lying about that but that wasn’t what made my heart ache. It was the guy that walked out behind her, holding her hand with a loving smile on his face. They were laughing and smiling, she even kissed his cheek as a bouquet of orchids dangled from her hands.

“Hana...” I whispered not truly believing what I was seeing.

She turned and saw me, her eyes widening a bit, guilt written across her face. Staring into her eyes, I begged for an explanation as I took a tense step forward, begging her to say this was just a misunderstanding. But when her eyes hardened and a smirk graced her lips I knew it wasn’t. That what I had confused for guilt was just panic at being caught and when the guy looked at me, asking her who I was while tightening his hold on her hand something snapped inside me.

I walked forward until I was in front of them, the bag of porridge dropped from my hand as I swung at the dude, hitting him square in the jaw. “I’m her boyfriend!” I yelled.

With each punch to the guy’s face I thought, was he why she cancelled our dates? Was he why I couldn’t reach her phone recently? Was he why my heart was breaking into a million pieces and my ‘girlfriend’ looked like a whole different person? Yes. The guy tried to fight back, pushing me off him but I only gave up on trying to take it out on him when Hana had pulled me off him by my shirt.

Hana had rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, “Of course you would come to my house. I should have known better, you’ve always wanted to play the sweet boyfriend,” she scoffed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.  

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