He saw the ceiling above his head with a vague thought. He wonders why those ceiling look like that. Hazy and blurry. Is something wrong with his eyes? Maybe he needs to wear glasses. Wait! At that moment he realizes that he doesn’t recognize the place where he’s in right now. He tries to turn around but his muscles seems don’t want to move. He turns around but his head is numb. It’s weird. He starts to feel frustrated because it’s too confusing. He tries to calm down and take a deep breathe, but he realizes something scarier. A weird thing stuck on his throat, makes his breathe sound become louder. Also there’s an annoying beep sound beside his head and it’s so disturbing. At that moment he tries to speak, he tries to call for help. But this weird pipe just blocks his mouth and it feels weird. Everything is numb, beside his finger that still be able to move slowly.

“He’s awake…aunty he’s awake.” Someone said.

Is it Myungsoo? Awake? Did I asleep? For how long? What happened?

“Howon-ah…Dear, Thank God…you’re awake.”

Of course I’m awake. Geez, mom what’s wrong? Why did you cry?

“Hoya…”

It’s Bora. I know this is her as I feel her soft hand squeezed into mine. She smiles, look so grateful. Why does everyone look so happy to see me?

“Hyung…you’re okay?” Myungsoo look at him with his happy smile.

At that moment he realizes, the younger was crying the last time he saw him. Myungsoo screamed and yelled out his name. Damn! The accident. He remembers it now. They were in an accident. But Myungsoo is okay, he’s standing in front of him now. He figures that he was the one who’s not okay.

“I’ll call doctor.” Myungsoo dash out from the room and Hoya swears he can saw him smiling before he disappears.

He doesn’t know what to do. At that moment he just let those two women that he loves the most in the world hold him tight. He feels warm and drowsy like he just wakes up from a long sleep. It's confusing and frustrating.

“Bora-ya, stay with him… I’ll call his dad.” His mom gets out from the room to make a call. Now it’s just he and that lovely girl that he misses the most. She smiles and holds onto his weak hand tighter. But tears start flowing on her cheek. He hates that. Hoya feels hopeless, at this time he desperately wants to hug and kiss her. He wants to hold her tight and wipe her tears. But his bone is too heavy to move. And these goddamned wires and stupid tube just make him more frustrated.

“Its okay, Hoya. You are going to be okay.”

Really? Am really okay? Are you really okay?

“I was so scared. I thought I’m gonna lose you.”

You’re not gonna lose me. Never.

“But thank you for not giving up. Thank you for holding on this strong. I love you.”

I love you.

***

“Cerebral Hemorrhage caused him fall in the coma state for two weeks. It was two weeks like hell for us. I guess we’re not used to it. Not at all. We’re not used to saw the weak Howon. We’re used to see the lively, cheerful and reliable Howon. It’s so scary…the moment when a person that we depend on suddenly becomes vulnerable. We’re forced to exchange rules. We have to protect the one who always protected us all this time.”

Myungsoo sipped into his coffee. The girl who sits across to him just stares in her usual calm state. Today's she's not wearing her high school uniform. And she's not drinkin black Espresso either. They both choose the usual Cappucino. There's a silent moment happen when both of them just keep quiet and listens to U2 - With or Without You that being played throught the cafe's speaker.

“How is he now?” She aksed after the song finished.

“He’s awake…yesterday.”

“Then why do you still look upset?”

“I’m not upset; I just don’t know what to do. The moment he woke up, I saw his eyes. I can see it…he wants to talk with us, he wants to ask question, he wants to hug his mom and me, he wants to kiss his girlfriend, but he can’t even move his arms. It’s heartbreaking. Doctor said he needs to do physical therapy, because his motor system hurt pretty badly after the accident. He can recover, but it will take a lot of time, weeks, maybe months or even years…I just feel hurt seeing him like that. It’s selfish, I know. But I don’t like seeing my brother on that fragile state. I’d like to always picturing him as the matured and strong person in my mind. I’m really selfish, right.” Myungsoo chukles and laughs bitterly. 

“You are." She said bluntly. "But it’s understandable, ahjussi.” She just smiles.

“Hmmm?” Myungsoo's eyebrows frowned. At this moment somehow he knows this girl will say something 'weird but right' like she used to say.

“You’re a human being. And it’s human nature to feel safe when there’s a presence of a strong figure that watching over them. Admit it or not, but we the truth is…we’re like being protected. We all are. That’s why we feel insecure when suddenly that strong presence becomes small. We’re scared.” She said before casually gulps into her coffee. It's almost empty now. Myungsoo eyein her, wonderin if this girl really 17.

“Why do you always said things that make me feel better?” He scoffed.

“I’m just saying what’s on my mind.”

“You’ve listened to my whole story. That what do you think I should do right now?”

“You knew what you have to do, ahjussi. And I know you’ll do that.” She gave a vague answer, making Myungsoo laughs on that. She really know how to speak.

“What kind of answer is that?” Myungsoo asks while still laughing.

“The only answer that a high school girl can give to ‘matured’ college student with rollercoaster life story.” She smiles wickedly. It's strange how her smile is somehow look devilish and angelic at the same time. But it looks pure and natural. Same like the way she speaks. It's just like she's doing it bluntly without thinking. What a bold personality.

“But I never thought that you’re colorblind. It’s impressive you’re still taking pictures. It must be hard, having a huge boundary to the thing that you really love.” She said the right thing. Boundary that keeping Myungsoo with the thing he loves. Thing that used to be his dream. Inveitable boundary that hard to accept.

“Have you ever faced that kind of boundaries?” 

“Nope. Like you said before, I’m just a highschooler. I don’t have much story.” She said. Somehow it's the first time she doesn't look convincing to Myungsoo.

“But you do have story.” 

“Every human being has.”

“It’s not fair. I told you all my ugly stuffs. At least tell me, what kind of boundaries that highschooler nowadays face?” Myungsoo stubbornly asked. She gives him a sinister smile, before sipping into his coffee and make the cup empty. Then she takes a deep breathe.

“Mine is a little bit different from the common highschooller.”

“I like difference. It’s interesting.” Myungsoo smirks.

“Ahjussi, do you see the huge billboard over there?” Her eyes looks out of the glass window of the cafe. From that window they can see the night has come. The street is filled with people walking throught this shopping district. Soyou's eyes fixed on the big billboard near the crossroad. It's an advertisement of fashion product with a famous model as the brand ambassador.

“Why do you change the topic?” Myungsoo scoffed.

“Do you see that billboard?” She stubbornly asked again.

“Sure. I’m colorblind…but I’m not that blind.”

“Who’s that woman in that billboard?” She asked while her eyes still set into that billboard. Myungsoo notices her eyes seems different. It's a vague, loving, empty , innocent but sad feeling on that.

“You don’t know? She’s Son Hayoon. She’s a renowned international class model with dazzling popularity. How can you don’t know her?”

“She’s my mom, ahjussi.”

“What?”

"Also the biggest boundary I ever face." She smiles and Myungsoo doesn't know what to say.