The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

 3^rd August 2021
 

Kyungsoo’s arrival and departure was like a storm that destroyed her peaceful life and left an impactful aftermath. Aleyah’s hands were still gripping onto the porcelain cup like her life depended on it. It’s been hours since Kyungsoo left the store but she could not stop thinking of what he had told her.

Stop being nice to him if you don’t love him. And if you do love him, the least you could do now is to be honest with him. He deserves to know the truth than being kissed with a lie.

Because she had been too careless, too careless with Sehun’s love. Before she even learnt to accept Sehun, she had already cheated on him. She had done him wrong since the start and she had carelessly disregarded it. That period of time, she was so depressed about Kai that she practically prevented herself from feeling anything. And when she decided to let go, she only focused on forgetting about him; not wanting to recall anything that they did so she chose to forget about the last night they made love together.

Flashbacks of how the blonde male had his eyes turned into crescent whenever she smiled at him gnawed on her conscious like thousands of tiny needles pricking her heart. Why is it that just when she thought she had already matured from the past, unexpected events would occur to make her realize that she still have lots of growing up to do? And aside from the pricking heart, it was also ripping. The learning of Kai’s depression shook her. How was it possible that someone as lovely as him could be so sad? Because he doesn’t deserve to be.

“Hey babygirl.” Aleyah jolted up from shock the moment she felt a peck on her head, hitting onto something right after.

“Ouch.” She turned around and saw how Sehun was rubbing on his chin with his face all scrunched up.

Instinctively, her hands flew to his chin and ran over them gently. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry Sehun. Are you alright??”

“Not really.” He pouted at her before taking her hands off his chin and put them around his own waist, pulling her into his embrace. “Now I feel better.”

“S…Sehun-ah…”

“Just let me hug you like this for a while. I miss you so much you know, even though we were separated for less than a day.” He rubbed her back soothingly, “I hate taking the plane without you. It feels like I’m leaving you behind and I hate it.”

Aleyah brushed her cheeks on the soft fabric of his shirt, she could hear his heartbeat thumping but with each lup and dup, it squeezed her conscious a little more. What Kyungsoo said was true, the least she could now was to tell him the truth. Irregardless of what will happen after, she needed to tell him. There was no way she would look at him the same way if she continued to lie. And Sehun definitely doesn’t deserve to be kissed with her lie. He was just an innocent victim paying for Kai and her sins together.

“I’ve got something to tell you.” She held his hand and led him to the garden table.

She sat him opposite her, her hands held onto the same porcelain cup the same way she had been holding. For her, Sehun had been perfect; in fact more than perfect and hurting him was the last thing she had ever wanted. But right now, she was going to stab through his heart with not one but 2 knives.

“Long before I met you, I was in love with a boy for 8 years.” Aleyah started slowly, her eyes were fixed on the flower petals that were floating in her tea. A sad smile was clearly visible on her beautiful face. “For him, I left my home country and came to Seoul; and for 8 years I saw no one but only him. He doesn’t know my existence but that didn’t make me love him any lesser then.”

“And when he did, there was no way we could be together because he already had his other-half. I stayed by him anyway, for he was also my best friend. But sometimes a heart can’t afford to just stay as friends, so we got together secretly.”

“We met secretly, dated secretly, everything was done secretly but I didn’t mind. For him, I was willing to be the secret. Till one day, he sacrificed his career and passion in exchange for me to be recognized and that was when I ended everything heartlessly. Because I loved him too much then that I can never let him give up something he likes.”

Sehun listened to everything she said intently, his eyes were fixed on her face. Her words made his stomach queasy because this was the first time he learnt about her past. He had never asked because it didn’t matter to him how many failed relationships she had before him. What mattered was the one they shared right now but her words now no doubt confuses him. He doesn’t get what she was trying to tell him and he doesn’t like this uneasy feeling that was enveloping him. “Aleyah.”

“If you think I will mind about your past, I can tell you now that I don’t at all. Everyone has their ugly past and I’m not perfect either so I won’t blame you for whatever you did back then.”

However, the lady shook her head slowly, the same sad smile was still hanging. “It’s not that Sehun.”

“It’s that.. I… I haven’t been honest with you.”

“I cheated on you Sehun.”

Her words struck the male like a sudden lightning that flashed right across the beautiful rainbow after a rain, he was so dumbfounded that he doesn’t know how to react. His mind was in a total blank as he tried to digest the 5 words she told him. She just told him she cheated on him. That was the reason to her story, the reason to her revealing her past to him because she cheated on him with the man she loved for 8 years. And maybe she still does now.

“Who is he?” Sehun said in an almost inaudible voice but Aleyah just looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping that he would not pursue. But those hazelnut eyes of hers were slitting his heart now, it hurts so much that he just want to punch the wall nearest to him. He was sure it would hurt lesser than the pain in his heart.

“The least you could now is be honest with me.” He begged with a slightly louder voice. “Who is he?”

“Kai.”

Aleyah watched how Sehun’s eyes pierced through her the moment Kai’s name left her lips but he looked away almost immediately as he breathed heavily. “Kai?”

“Kim JongIn? Exo’s Kai?” He asked her while pacing around the table, his hand ran through his blonde hair for the umpteenth time.

“I’m sorry Sehun.”

“Do you really think a sorry would help now? Would sorry have make any difference? Does it ever? It’s just a word. One word against a thousand actions Aleyah.” She watched him looked at her helplessly, like a boy who had lost all his favourite toys at once. “A thousand actions and one of them include keeping it as a secret forever. Why didn’t you just keep it from me forever? Why? Why must you tell me and why of all people must it be Kai? Why….”

“Sehun…” She walked towards him and held him by his arms while he closed his eyes weakly. Even when she had her hand placed on his, that moment, Aleyah swore, she felt like he wasn’t there at all.

Sehun forced his eyes open and pulled her hands away from his arms as he fall into the bottomless black hole that he forgot had once existed. Slowly, he staggered out of the suffocated store towards his car. Since the start, her heart wasn’t his to begin with and it probably wouldn’t be his in the end.

Because he was just Kai’s substitute afterall. 

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3 more chapters to go. Excited to know who Aleyah will end up with?