Never get too attached to anyone because attachment leads to expectations and expectations leads to disappointment.

11^th September 2020

Exo was well-known for their busy schedules so they were often teased by the other artists in the industry that they have breakfast in China and dinner in Korea. Most of the time, this was indeed their true life story. Like today, they just had breakfast in Rome in the morning and now they are having lunch in Venice.

Sehun placed the last piece of chicken on his plate before leaving the buffet table. His expressionless face was beyond cold today. His black eyes were piercing as he sauntered towards Exo’s table and sat himself down in between Suho and Kris. Without making any eye contact with anyone, he buried his nose in the food.

“I’m surprised that you are sitting here.” Suho lowered his voice.

“What’s so surprising about it?” He continued to look at his plate as he replied him monotonously. His bad mood had started to affect his appetite.

“You should be sitting at the empty seat beside Aleyah, not mine.”

The blonde male just kept quiet as he played with the food on his plate with his fork. He did not even look up with her name being mentioned. As much as he wanted to sit beside her, he couldn’t. Whatever that happened yesterday refused to leave his head and refused to stop bugging him. His ego did not allowed him to go near her, not today.

The feeling of Aleyah bypassing him to find Kai gnawed on him. He really didn’t like how her eyes were on him the entire day yesterday. Throughout the rehearsal, those eyes of hers were constantly scanning the crowd in search for someone. A few times Sehun had eye contact with her as he secretly hoped that the person she was looking for was him but all he got were blank stares, right between the eyes like he wasn’t there.

That was the reason to why he did not look for her today. He wanted to see if he doesn’t approach her first, would she look for him instead. As the hour goes by, Sehun was falling deeper and deeper into the blackhole he created for himself.

“Sehun, briefing starts in 15 minutes.” A staff tapped him and reminded him.

He nodded and pushed his plate away, he barely ate anything from it. Sniffing his nose, he stood up from the table and walked towards the exit of the restaurant. Nicotine would be his best remedy for a time like this. They never disappoint him, unlike others.

On his way out, he tried his best to keep his eyes straight so it would not stray to her but he failed. Slowing his pace, his eyes floated to her as his ears pricked at her conversation she was having with Luhan.

“Drink more herbal tea. You can’t afford to be sick now.” Through that familiar pair of hazelnut eyes, he saw a tinge of concern. The same one when he told her he barely slept a few days ago.

“I know. But I don’t know where to get that in Europe.”

“Hmmm, I don’t have herbal tea but I do have a few sachets of tea in my room.” She patted his back gently as he went into fits of cough, “At least it will help a little.”

Luhan nodded and she said something in reply. But Sehun couldn’t bring himself to linger there any longer, he fastened his footsteps and disappeared into the smoking room without anyone noticing. He was sinking further into the bottomless black pithole.

He lighted a cigarette and inhaled deeply before blowing out as the effect of nicotine spread through his veins. Although he felt lighter, he still couldn’t put the satisfactory smile on his face. Nicotine made him feel better physically but definitely not psychologically.

For Sehun, nobody has cared about him for so long and it became hard for him to accept when somebody finally does. Amazingly Aleyah managed to melt the fortress he had built around his heart over the years. She showed him care and concern that no other had shown him before. Her tenderness to him was like a shelter from this harsh world; a place he could seek comfort from.

But what he saw and heard so far made him feel dumb now. Beyond dumb. Because what he felt all along was something he made up in his mind. Her care and concern were not specially just for him, it was for everyone. He had mistaken her kind actions as her slight fondness for him but it was actually nothing more than just friendship. Her caring nature made him categorized himself with Luhan under the category of merely just friends, not even under the best friend category like Kai.

The blonde male took a last puff before ceasing the cigarette. He walked out of the smoking room and into the conference room beside it. His bad mood had ultimately affected his attitude and actions. Right now he couldn’t be bothered with how he reeked of nicotine or how his cigarette box was laying openly on the table.

“Sehun, the least you can do is to keep your cigarette box.” His manager reprimanded him.

“Not as though you don’t smoke.” He spat at the older, “Just hurry up start with the briefing.” He couldn’t bear to sit in this suffocating room for another minute.

The manager shook his head at his indifference attitude as the other staffs filled the seats around the round table. Those that sat beside the blonde male cringed at his musty fug smell in surprise. From his peripheral vision, Sehun saw it all but his cold eyes did not move from the painting he was staring.

“Sehun, for the London concert you have to take over Kai for all the separate dance segments he has.”

“Okay.” The news did not even surprise him a single bit so his eyes were still on the painting. Why so? Because he was already used to replacing Kai or Lay when they couldn’t dance. This wasn’t the first time and he was already long numbed by the fact that he was their substitute.

Standing up, he left the room without saying another word. There was nothing else left for him to say. The purpose of this briefing wasn’t seeking for his consent anyway; it was informing him and they had accomplished it. The strong nicotine smell from the smoking room made him crave for his second stick when he walked passed it. It was then he realized that he left his cigarettes in that suffocating room.

“I swear Sehun has the worst attitude among the 12 of them.” The mentioned male froze at his name instinctively.

“Yeah. Look at how he behaved just now, it’s as though the whole world offended him.”

“C’mon guys,” Sehun could recognized his manager’s voice, “We all know that we need him to replace Kai or else we won’t be talking to him anyway.”

“That’s true, he can’t sing or rap and even his dance skills can’t be compared to Kai or Lay,” the same voice earlier continued, “he’s nothing more than a pretty face.”

“Nope, you are wrong.”

“He’s nothing more than Exo’s backup.”

******

I don't know if you guys realized but recently the chapters are getting shorter.

I did it on purpose because I'm afraid too long a chapter will cause the readers to space out halfway. So I cut the stories to make it into more chapters.

Which do you guys prefer? Longer story, lesser chapters or shorter story, more chapters and easier to read?

P.S: Had been losing the bid. I've bid once again for advertising tomorrow. 12 more hours and currently I'm winning. Please keep it this way!