Cingulomania: A strong desire to hold a person in your arms.

30^th August 2020

Aleyah watched the familiar scenary passed by her through the bus’s window. The dry yet cooling autumn wind hitting her face gently as Lego House by Ed Sheeran played on her Ipod. The lyrics of the song tugged her heartstrings in this lonely season. It had been on replay ever since she came back from Jeju. The chilly wind kept her awake throughout the ride as she sighed in relieved - at least her mind was much clearer now. And she was ready to face him.

When Baekhyun’s wedding ended, she disappeared from the venue almost instantly. Her mind was filled with what happened before. She just couldn’t stop thinking how the man embraced her tightly, looking into her eyes deeply before sealing a kiss on her forehead. That peck set her heartbeat wild with adrenaline rush gushing through every veins of hers; making her feel weak all over. Her hands were still trembling with nervousness even after she reached home, the only sign that told her it was all real.

That night, the lady’s thoughts chased away all her sleepiness. Her initial happiness about the kiss soon made her wondered about the meaning behind it as her feelings took a ride on the emotional roller coaster. Because a kiss don’t make one just wonder. As much as she tried to convince herself that it was nothing more than a friendly kiss, she couldn’t help but to hope that it would mean more than that. The moment when he sealed his lips on her forehead, it made her feel so blissful that she found herself desiring for more. The feeling of being kissed by the man you love was intoxicating and addicting. Then her conscious took over the overwhelming pleasant thoughts and reminded her that he was someone who has a fiancé. A fact that existed all these while but she failed to remember. This made whatever she wanted wrong and wasn’t morally right as she started to blame herself for having such thoughts. What happen to her principle of not risking her friendship with him in exchange for a relationship?

Guilt gnawed on her as she took a plunge on the emotional ride. She fell into a state of depression when she tried to put herself in Solbi’s shoes. How would she feel if she was to find out that her fiancé kissed his bestfriend? Aleyah deeply blamed herself as though she was the one who initiated the kiss. She knew she wouldn’t be able to face Kai in this state of hers anytime soon for she was someone who dwells on something for quite some time and shoulders the blame all by herself. So when the day broke and the first bus pulled up at the bus stop near her house, she hopped on it with a small carrier with her and a huge emotional baggage on her. She decided to get away till she cleared her mind.

The lady instinctively pulled her jacket closer to her as she hurried towards her wonderland after she had alighted. The chill autumn wind raced through the avenues, brittle leaves whorled into frenzied tornadoes. Gold, scarlet and deep brown where summoned for transitory dances before being deposited once more on the lonely sidewalk. It was colder than when she was in the bus.

A man stood outside the entrance of her door with his hands stuck in his pocket, head bowed low. His black top and jeans contrasted the grey military jacket and matching Gatsby cap he was wearing well. He stood outside the store like a statue, not minding the chilly autumn wind that was making his face stiff. Compared to other days where he waited for her in the car, he didn’t know why but he felt like standing outside her store today. It was as though he felt her presence, Kai looked to his left suddenly and the dull looking pair of eyes brightened up instantly. He was greeted by the figure he longed to see for the past few days. Her royal blue long skirt and jet-black hair being tousled by the wind as she stood there staring right back at him.

“Hey.” Aleyah walked up and greeted him with her usual dimpled smile. Her fragrance surged through his nose as she stood beside him to unlock the door to her wonderland. Her scent comforted him, it made him feel that her presence beside him was real.

“Heyy.” Kai’s low voice sent adrenaline rush through the lady, reminding her how his tone of voice was like when he complimented her that night.

With her shivering hands, the lady pushed open the door and slipped in quickly. The last thing she wanted was him messing up her mind once again so she pushed away those thoughts. The man then followed suit with his eyes lingering on her ever since they saw her earlier, they never left her for even a second.

The moment the transparent doors behind them were closed, Kai reached out and pulled her into his embrace. He had been dying to do that since he saw her outside just now. He tried to fight off the urge before but clearly his mind lost the battle with his heart. The feeling of her soft body pressed against him was beyond tranquilizing, it was enthralling. Kai poured all the emotions he had into that hug – his fear of her disappearing, the emptiness of her absence and the guilt for knowing so little about her.

Aleyah froze when she felt his warm body against her cold skin. It was sudden and totally unexpected, leaving her in a state of shock. When his hand s around her waist, she felt herself melting into him. Truth to be told, the lady actually do miss him after 5 days of separation. The Jeju trip was filled with him invading her thoughts for every second of the day. Her last sane to push him away disappeared when his force around her waist increased, pulling her closer to him gently, not allowing any gaps to separate their bodies. She could feel his uneasiness and insecurities through the tight connection their body shared as her hand instinctively reached up to soothe his back, reassuring him.

Kai closed his eyes with satisfaction when her hands gently rubbed his back. He felt safe and comfortable like he was in a perfect dream. That instant, he no longer had fears nor worries, he felt calmed. It doesn’t matter that her hug was loose, what it matters was only the feeling that her hug gave him. It was soft, gentle and warm. One that makes the two souls bond together.

“Where have you been?” He whispered into her ear, unwilling to break the hug.

“I was in Jeju.” Her muffled voice could be clearly heard even though her face was buried in his broad chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He reprimanded her. But it was filled with gentleness and worries that it made her smiled. “It was a last minute vacation so I didn’t tell anyone”

Inhaling her comforting scent to calm himself down, the man tried to put away the fact that he knew Sehun drove her to the airport. However, he realized he could not let go if he doesn’t know why the guy knows and yet he doesn’t. “But how come Sehun knows about it?” As much as he tried to sound as calm as possible, his tone of voice betrayed the tinge of jealousy he was trying hide.

“He came to the store when I was clearing the flowers before I leave. It was coincidence.” Aleyah pulled her face away from his chest and looked up at Kai who was also beaming down at her. She saw how he nodded his head as his smile line became visible slowly. Her lips curled upwards with her hands still wrapped around his firm waist.

“Just don’t disappear without telling me again alright?” He tugged her hair behind her ears lovingly, as though they were a couple and it was only right for him to do so. His tone of voice became serious for her disappearance for the past few days was mentally disturbing to him. It made him unable to concentrate on anything he did as his thoughts were all about her. “Promise?”

“Promise.” She nodded. There was nothing she would not promise him. Even if it was to risk her own life in exchange for something that will make him a happier person. However, none of them remembers that promises should never be made at the spur of the moment. And that how a simple hug exchanged would soon change 4 people’s lives drastically.

******

“Alright, 10 minutes break.” Exo’s dance choreographer announced. They were in the midst of preparing for their world tour that was going to kick off in 2 days, it consisted of main capitals in China and Europe. The lead dancer was in a really good mood for the dance practice tonight and it sparked interest in other members.

“Is Kai sick?” Chanyeol asked Baekhyun during the break. The mentioned man was not being himself today, he was smiling so much that the members found him creepy. “I’ve never seen him smile so much. Not even during his engagement. It’s scary.”

“For all you know, he may be getting married too?” The older one replied before turning to look at Kai who was approaching the water cooler at the back of the dance studio.

“Do you mind?” Kai asked Sehun who was refilling his empty bottle to help him.

“Sure.”

He stared at the younger’s expressionless face as scenes of what happened with Aleyah earlier on played before him. Grinning widely, he could still remember vividly how she felt like when he embraced her. That euphoric feeling sent adrenaline rush all over him again. Miraculously, the atmosphere between the two after the hug wasn’t awkward at all. Instead, the chemistry among them boiled rapidly. Kai doesn’t know to explain that awesome feeling between them but he realized that they were gazing into each other’s eyes more often than before. And how frequent he had been tugging her hair behind her ears for the entire day today. They were small little moves that made him feel fuzzy and warm all over and thus explaining the stupid grin that had been hanging on his face all day. As much as he tried to bite back his smile during practise, he was still a beginner when it comes to controlling his real feelings.

“Hyung.” Sehun called the man who was in a daze. “Your water.”

“Oh, thanks.” He took a sip of water as he eyed the younger one closely. The blonde guy wasn’t cheery and jumpy like usual, he seemed restless. Given his playful character, he would definitely look for Tao to bicker with but now he was just sitting in the corner of the room alone, staring into empty space.

Kai approached him slowly. He was sure that his restlessness had something to do with Aleyah. “Do you know that she’s back?” Taking a seat beside him, the man tipped him off without looking at him.

His sentence caused Sehun to turn and look at him immediately. “I don’t.”

“I thought you knew.” The man couldn’t help but to smirk when he replied him. It was his way of revenge and he won this round. It’s 1-1, Oh Sehun.

The man and the guy just sat in silence after that. Both don’t know what else to say to one another. Sehun was beginning to dislike how well Kai knows her better than him even though he knew they were best friends. And he sure did not like his tone of voice earlier. It sounded like he was showing off and it disgusted him. Both of their attention was soon caught by a heated conversation between 2 staffs that were a short distance away from them. They seem to be arguing about something that was related to their world tour. With much telepathy, both of them stood up together and headed towards them without a word exchanged.

“Noona, is everything alright?” Being the youngest, Sehun always has a way with older women.

“Hyung, you look stress.” Kai asked the older male, both the staffs were their managers.

“One of your translators quit last minute. Now we only have 2 translators for the 12 of you guys on stage, and 40 of us for the next 1 month in Europe and China.” The older woman explained the problem to the two members. “It’s going to be difficult to find one to replace in two days. I’m sure you all know why.”

Both of them nodded in response. Of course they knew why. SM’s translators were well-trained and most of the time they were internal staff so it will not cause any disturbance to the members in any case she is a fan. However going to Europe and China would mean that they needed a translator who was very strong in Korean, English and Mandarin and most SM translators are not trained to speak two languages (other than Korean), there were only 3 of them who were trilinguist. And now one of them was down.

All of them tried to think of a solution to resolve this pressing problem in silence. Their world tour was in 2 days and it would be difficult for them to perform in a country that spoke a different tongue, their daily needs would most probably become a headache as well. Suddenly, Kai’s head jerked up as he turned to look at Sehun. The latter caught his eyes and he knew what he was thinking immediately. A small grin lighted both of their handsome faces respectively. For once the man and the guy shared a common agreement as they high-fived one another.

“I think we may have a suitable candidate.”

Random fact for this chap:

When i was writing Kai's hug, my heartbeat was actually beating very fast and I could feel myself melting into his arms like Aleyah did.

His strong arms and broad chest are really alluring. 

So, what do you think will happen if Aleyah is to go on a world tour with them? 

Finally, the scene i had been dying to write is coming soon! Will tell you more about that scene when I'm there.

Meanwhile, enjoy this chapter~

P.S: Sorry i won't be updating She's my manager anytime soon i guess. Not really motivated to write that story because the comments i receive is depressing and i lost the mood to write that story.