Isn’t it ironic? When you fold a heart into half, you get a teardrop.

22^nd September 2020

London was a bad dream but it was also a wake-up call.

At least to Aleyah.

After a week’s worth of training, she can now look at the couple kiss and hug without wearing any sullen expression. As much as she was struggling with a mixture of guilt, jealousy and being brokenhearted deep within her, she could at least force herself to pass the day without confronting them. But when nighttime comes and darkness engulf the clear blue sky, her strong front would perish as well. That was the only time where she could allow herself to dwell on the pain she had endured during the day and bawl her eyes out.

Her swollen eyes never seem to be able to recover ever since Solbi arrived. Applying ice doesn’t seem to help anymore. It had gotten so bad that she had been wearing her specs for almost a week now. And that was of course not missed out by Kai and Sehun who always had their eyes lingering on her that it was definitely more than an just eye infection she had come up with to get pass the others.

The tears she shed every night somehow managed to force herself to see things that she chose to avoid the past few weeks. She had been selfish to think that it was alright to live in that sinful dream they’ve created. Their selfishness had unknowingly led to them having more than just a relationship. He’s engaged yet they were dating, cuddling and kissing. It was an affair.

“I don’t even understand how can people cheat. It’s not even selfish, it’s so damn reckless. They destroy that many life just because they can’t help themselves!” Like as though things were not vexing enough. Aleyah rubbed her throbbing temples when she overheard the conversation between 2 staffs regarding the latest episode of the series, Mistresses. Why does she have to hear this right now?

But somehow the decision she had made nights before did make her feel a little better.

Rummaging through her bag, the lady quickly pulled out her headphones and plugged them into their ears. She quickly entered the aircraft leaving the 2 behind. She’s not going to deal with this now.

“Sora Unnie, do you mind if I change seats with you?” Aleyah plead. Right when she entered the aircraft, she saw the couple sitting at seat 3A and B respectively. And her seat was coincidentally at 3C, an aisle away.

“I’m sorry dear, I don’t like aisle seats.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed and walked towards her seat. How was she going to survive the 10 hours flight with them right beside her? She highly doubt that she can even close her eyes for more than 5 minutes, let alone faking to sleep for 10 hours straight.

“Aleyah, I will change with you. I don’t like window seats.” Suho offered kindly.

Relief flashed across her hazelnut eyes as they exchanged their boarding passes. “Thanks a lot Suho.”

“Hello Sehun.” The blonde male opened his eyes groggily. He was about to snap at his hyung for waking him up when he had just drifted off to dreamland. But he closed his mouth the moment he saw Aleyah standing in front of him.

“Oh.. heyy.” He sat up from his inclined seat immediately and his hand went to adjust his hair as he his lips nervously.

“I changed seat with Suho. You don’t mind right?”

‘Of.. of course not!” Sehun reclined his seat and stood up to let her get into the seat beside his. A shy smile spreading across his face.

Aleyah replied him with a small smile as she took her seat. She had been so desperate to get away from the couple him that it didn’t even occur to her that Suho’s partner for this flight may be a member that she’s not closed with. And it would be an awkward 10 hour journey if it’s so. But luckily, it was Sehun.

“You should rest. Your eye infection seems to be getting worst.” He told her softly, “I will wake you up when we land.”

Aleyah thanked him and nodded. She was really grateful that it was Sehun. The one that she will never be uncomfortable with.

-

A pair of black eyes stared at the male and the lady sitting at seat 3E and F. He saw how the male requested an extra pillow from the air stewardess before tucking it underneath her head. Throughout the flight he would constantly look up from his PSP to ensure that her blanket kept her warm as he watched her sleep soundly with a loving gaze.

Kai knew how adorable she looks whenever she snuggles into her pillow halfway through her sleep, he also knew how she would pull the blanket with her whenever she turns around and of course he knew how beautiful she was whenever she struggles to open her eyes when she’s awake.

All of these were his privileges. At least it used to be his till a week ago before Solbi arrives. He disliked how Sehun gets to enjoy them too. And how he gets to do it so openly compared to him. He hated how his hand would tug those lose strands of hair behind her ears when it falls onto her face. For a week he hadn’t had those lingering eye contact they always share, for a week he didn’t get to talk to her, for a week he hadn’t hold her hand and for a week he didn’t wake up to her beautiful face an inch away from his. How can Sehun enjoy those when he had been missing everything the two of them shared.

He missed it so much that it made him realize how attached he was to her.  He had gotten so used to talking to her on a daily basis and she had become a part of his happiness. So when they don’t talk, it’s like a part of him was gone and he just can’t help but start to miss her uncontrollably.

“I don’t want to reach Beijing. I don’t want to part with you.” Solbi whispered in his chest with her eyes closed, taking in his manly scent.

But I want to reach Beijing, Kai replied in his head as he closed his eyes and pretended that he was asleep. I need to put an end to her misery.

******

The closest proximity the star-crossed lover ever shared for the past week was probably now where she was standing behind him translating the instructions for him to redo his dance performance again.

“They want you to dance the bridge part again. Give them a thumbs up when you are ready.” Aleyah translated with her eyes fixed on the ground. She knew she couldn’t look into his alluring eyes, they would definitely charm her to sin. And she was not going to let her mess up with her mind.

Kai nodded, his eyes didn’t leave her face for a second. His heart ached when he saw her swollen eyes upclose. He knew he was the reason behind it and he hated himself for making her cry. Knowing her, she probably cried herself to sleep every night. God knows how much he was dying to pull her into his embrace now but he just can’t. Circumstance forbids him too. The only thing he could do was to brush the back of his hand on hers when he walked past her, his way of assuring his presence before her.

“Why is your hand so hot?” He asked her, his voice panicking. “Are you sick?”

The lady dodged his hand that was reaching her forehead. “I’m fine.”

“But you are too warm for this weather.”

“It’s none of your concern.” She didn’t mean it this way, she just didn’t want him to touch her. Because she can’t afford to.

“We need to talk. Now.”

“Not now.”

“Then will you please just look at me?” The man’s voice was almost begging. But the lady had already walked off the stage.

******

“How do you think the lion likes his meat?” Sehun asked the lady sitting opposite him in the hotel’s restaurant.

“Please Sehun, not something lame again.” Aleyah gave a smile that never reached her eyes.

“C’mon, just guess. Be sporting.”

“I’ve got no idea. Really.”

“Roarrrrrrrrrrr.” He imitated the lion roaring and it was his first time hearing her chuckle in days. “Finally.”

“Finally what?”

“You are laughing.” Aleyah looked up at Sehun who was wearing a comforting smile. Through his last three words he told her that he knew she was upset about something. But she knows he had no intention in breaking down her false front. If he had, he would have done that long ago. That was the last thing she need right now, and she secretly thanked him for his thoughtfulness.

“Thank you Sehun.” He knew that she wasn’t thanking him for the joke but for something else. As much as he hoped that she would open up to him, he wasn’t going to rush her if she’s not ready. He will always wait for her patiently.

“I’m sorry to disturb but can I talk to Aleyah for a moment?” The lady knew the voice of the owner better than anyone else.

“Oh, sure.” Sehun looked at Kai weirdly but he stood up anyway.

“You can sit here, we will talk somewhere else.”

With that, the male watched the lady left with the man as his left eyelid started to twitch. An uneasiness feeling spread through him.

-

“What do you want to talk about?” Aleyah looked at him for the first time that day. His eyes were as alluring as ever, but it didn’t hide the tiredness that was in there. Somehow she could feel her heart aching a little at the sight of him.

They were about 3 feet away from one another but to Kai, it seems as though they were at two separate ends in her room.  Right now, she seemed so far and so unreachable. “Talk about us.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about Kai.” Her eyes were watery once again and her nose was turning sour already. She had been picturing this conversation for days and she had also been practicing for it. But how could she still feel so affected when she’s supposed to emotionless about it. Nonetheless, she was determined to say the things she had planned.  Pulling herself together, her hazelnut eyes stared into his black eyes and she enunciate every single word clearly and determinately,

“It’s all a mistake.”

********

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