4^th August 2020

It was almost 2.30am when Sehun reached his dorm after dropping Aleyah off. Kicking his shoes aside, he ran his hand through his blonde hair in frustration. The scene earlier kept replaying in his head. How the lady stood up for herself, stood up for him, stood up for them. The guy’s mind was in a whirl as he walked towards the kitchen. Probably some ice water will help to calm him down.

“Sehun-ah..” He was greeted by 2 figures sitting by the dining table with cans of opened beers scattered on top of it.

Surprise to see Kai back in this almost deserted dorm, he dragged a chair and sat beside him. People who stayed in this dorm were members who are still single. Those who have a family or fiancés no longer stay here. Thus people left were only Kyungsoo, Sehun, Luhan and Tao. “Hyung, why are you here?”

“I needed a friend to drink with tonight.” Kyungsoo raised his beer and finished it in one shot. The youngest look at his two hyungs before reaching for a can himself and popped it open. He let the ice-cold beer run down his throat in hope that he would feel better before lighting a cigarette. Nicotine and alcohol are the best remedy for such a vexing night.

Just as Sehun took the first puff, his phone on the table vibrated, lighting up the dining area immediately. The other two had their eyes fixed on the name appeared on the screen.

Thanks for the supper just now. Sleep early and stop frowning.

It was a message from Aleyah. The blonde guy stared at his phone screen as he attempted to type a reply with his left hand, cigarette on his right.

I’m sorry for just now. I should have..

His right thumb pressed the delete button before he even finished his message and he locked his phone screen violently. The dining area fell into darkness again. Sehun took another mouthful of beer in frustration. That moment, he could not put his thoughts into words. He doesn’t know what to say to her. Is a simple sentence of I’m sorry sufficient? Or will I’m sorry that I’m incompetent make him feel better?

The 3 men sat by the table, none of them said a word to each other in the next hour or two. They enjoyed each other’s company as they dwell on their own problems, in hope that alcohol could provide some sort of answer to their questions, doubts and worries.

Kai turned to look at Sehun, he was on his 5^th stick already. Other than that, he had been locking and unlocking his phone screen for the umpteenth time that night. He knew something was bothering the younger and it somewhat involved Aleyah. The older one saw how he struggled with a reply and giving up in the end by switching off his phone. Curiousity piqued Kai’s interest as he pondered about the possible reasons to the younger’s problem.

He could have asked him straight rather than guessing the possibilities but right now he was in no mood to know what that two were up to.  His head started to throb with the thoughts of them together and he felt somewhat uncomfortable. Pushing the negative feelings away, Kai finished the last mouth of beer and crushed the can before throwing it to the side and opened another.

No matter how much he drank, the guilt of him lying to Solbi was still eating him. Not only so, the man realized that he has been spending more time with Aleyah but he couldn’t bring himself to tell his fiancé the truth. Was it because he was afraid that Solbi might be angry that he has a female best friend? It must be so. He knows how she would over-react if he ever tells his possessive fiancé and her kicking up an unnecessary fuss was probably the last thing he ever wanted. And now that Sehun came home with a late night text from her did not make him feel any better from this already oh-so-suffocating-night.

“I swear women are the most confusing thing on this earth.” The oldest among the 3 rubbed his face in frustration as he reach for Sehun’s cigarette box. He fought with his girlfriend for the first time in 3 years and he just doesn’t understand what was the cause of it.

“Worst than maths in high school.” Kai second to that sentence his hyung just said. If only Solbi could accept that he has a female best friend coolly he would have gladly tell her the truth.

While the older ones were conversing, the youngest remained silent throughout. It’s not that he has no comments over the topic, it’s just that he wasn’t listening at all. He was still fighting with his own thoughts over the incident earlier, unable to get over how weak and useless he was. How could he have allowed a lady to protect him when it’s supposed to be the other round? So what he’s a celebrity? It wasn’t an excuse to let her face it alone. Oh Sehun, you are becoming like the people you hate because you only care about yourself now. His head pounded even harder when he remembered how she held his arm and shook her head with those pleading gaze that was worried about him more than herself.

 “Hyung, I’m turning in. Nights.” Dragging himself out of the living room, Sehun left the group first. Throwing himself onto the bed, his head was pounding harder than before. He doesn’t know if it was due to the alcohol or the war that was going on in his head but he doesn’t feel good at all. As he was about to drift off to dreamland, those sparkling hazel-nut eyes appeared before him. His tightly shut eyes flew opened immediately.

In his dark room, he saw nothing but those glittering eyes of hers, he heard nothing but how silvery her voice was when she called him as her boyfriend and he remembered how it felt when her soft skin touch his.

 At 5am that morning, Sehun lost all his sleepiness. 

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