What is she doing? I know she has drank quite a lot, but she has got to know that she can’t be doing this in front of the group right now. I look up from her arms around my waist and look at the rest of the group as if I have no idea why she is doing this to me. I laugh it off as if she is just to drunk to function.

            “Happy Birthday to her right?” I laugh again, nervously. I don’t even know what I am saying. Luckily the rest of the members are so far gone that they don’t hear it in my voice. I think she is falling asleep on my shoulder. I think this is enough for the night. I spin her around and into my arms and attempt to stand up. I stumble a bit but I manage to get myself upright. “That’s enough fun for the night I think,” I say. “I’ll take her to her room guys,”

            “Don’t do anything to her ya crazy youngster,” Jiyong says to me. What does he mean by that?

            I simply respond with “I won’t,” and I make my way to her room. I push down on the handle with my elbow and push the door open with my hip. She definitely looks asleep now. I place her on the bed and this whole situation is so familiar. Why do I keep finding myself in this situation? I can’t ever control myself when I am alone with her, and in her room no less. I knock my head back and sigh in frustration with myself. I’m having Jiyong do it next time.

            I sit on her bed next to her, just thinking for a moment. I turn my head to look at her lying down behind me. There’s nothing wrong with kissing her goodnight-nothing at all. She has already made it clear that she likes me. I turn slightly and lean across her, putting my hand under her head to gently lift her face closer to mine. I press my lips firmly against the lower side of her cheek, feeling the shape of her jaw underneath my lips. I place her head back down and I lift myself back up. She smiles slightly and turns onto her right side. I don’t know if she’s dreaming or if she’s awake-but if she is, she doesn’t let me know.

            I sit facing the opposite wall again. I take a deep breath and release it as I stand up and make my way for the door again. I really need to stop having these drunken moments, but at least now I don’t have to regret it. I exit her room and close the door behind me. I walk back into the living room and everyone is silent. Youngba