I was crying and sobbing hard. I don’t know why but that dream I just had seemed to affect me a lot. Different emotions gushed in me as the scenes kept on replaying itself inside my mind.

What is happening to me?

All I know is that I haven’t had a boyfriend ever. I was born and grew up single. That was what I thought.

Then suddenly, I just have to dream about having one? And I was surprised that it was Seungri. The worst is, I even almost killed myself because of him. All the stuffs we did together, those fight, that accident… everything came flooding in my confused brain right now.

I tried calming myself down and even helplessly tried to wipe my tears away but it was no use. My tears seem to have their own brain.

I need to do something. I just can’t keep on crying here like some crazy mental hospital patient.

I looked around the room and finally spotted my bag even with my tear-blur eyes. I walked over to where my bag was placed, grabbed it and went back on the bed.

Mom was in my dream. She was there when that cheating scene happened. She was there to comfort me and I had told her everything. I’m definitely sure she knows exactly what was that dream about.

I went through my contacts and called her number. After a few rings, she picked up.

“Sujin! You called. How are you? How is Seoul so far? How is—“

“Mom.” I tried to say it as calm and normal as possible but a sob escaped through my lips.

“Hey, are you crying?”

“Mom, I-I’m just going to ask something.” I said ignoring her question.

“Yeah?”

“Mom, promise me to give me the most honest answer possible. I just want to know everything.”

She was silent for a while until I called her attention. “Mom?”

“Y-yeah, Sujin. Uh, uhm… o-ok. Sure.” She stuttered and I could tell she hesitated to say okay.

“Mom…” I paused as I breathe in some air in need of calming myself. “I had this dream. Or maybe it wasn’t.” I ran my fingers through my hair, annoyed that I’m really confused and all before I continued. “I was dating a guy…. And his name’s Seungri.” Then I heard mom somewhat gasped but I decided to continue. “Memories of us when we’re still dating, that night when he cheated and even the accident after… I had dreamt all of them. And even when you told me that revealing myself, as Sooyeon was better and I could have changed it when someone would hurt me. Was that the reason you changed my stage name again into Catherine?”

“Have you met Seungri?” Mom asked nervously.

“Yeah, actually… we’re friends.”

Then I heard my mother sob. “Mom? Are you crying?” I asked concerned.

“S-sujin.” Mom chocked out before I heard some shuffling noises. “Sujin.” It was dad.

“Dad…”

He sighed on the other line. “I think it’s time for you to know.”

“What am I supposed to know dad?” I asked as I braced myself for whatever it may be.

He let out a frustrated sigh before answering. “You had selective amnesia, Sujin. That Seungri guy, he was your ex-boyfriend and you forgotten about him.“

Seungri. The guy I comforted because he misses his ex-girlfriend Sooyeon, back in Paris. And it turned out to be me all along.

I cried harder with all those calming myself thing gone to waste.

“Why didn’t you—“ Then someone knocked on the door. “Dad,” I sobbed. “L-let’s continue t-talking some o-other time. I’ll j-just call again.” Then I ended the call.

It was as if all the emotions I was t