Jr

Why was my mood like this. I couldn't handle she was here. I couldn't handle HE should pick her up. I had heard rumors about him, not god rumors, but I could hope they wasn't true. I don't know why I tried to kill Minhyun today. I don't know why and it freaks me pretty much out. I'm scared of losing control again. Just like I did 4 years ago. I'm not an angel and I will never be, but I hope I can keep being like I had been the past two years, so I don't become and devil. I should talk with someone about this, but who? Minhyun, Aron, Beakho and Ren ,can't take it. And I want lose them. Maybe should I just tell it to her, I will lose her anyways. Just like I did last time. But I can't tell her it today. She have to trust me. My arms started shook a bit and I tried to pull my self together. She wanted to help me. I could see that in her eyes, her eyes couldn't lie.

Maybe should I just visit someone who could help me, but they would just tell me what I already knew “that's something in your brain and you have to handle it by your self.” that was what ,all the people I had lost said to me and then I had done it, again. My family my friends, everyone I loved. Just pushed them away and ran to a new life with a new name. In my life I had a lot of names, but I always looked like I do now. So if someone really wanted to find me, they could do that. But I think I know why no one have tried that. No one want to find i psycho. I pulled up my hair and trow my head into the wall. I could hear her voice from the living room. I remembered the time on the hospital, she had learned me how I could control my rage and my sadness. I began to sing the song she taught me. “ I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear. I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear into your eyes.” I song very low and it helped a little. She had told me that if I didn't helped I should sing it louder. So I began to sing the next part of the song, this time louder. “what's the thing you looking at? What's the thing you see? Please let me in side. Please let me look through your eyes.” it was better this time but I was still sad. Louder. “ I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear. I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear into your eyes. Make me see what you see, make me feel free.” I slowly started singing louder and louder. “if i see something I don't wanna see, I can't look away I know. But I want to see, want to see, what's special through your eyes.” suddenly I heard a girls voice “ the smile in your eyes, makes me feel more alive. The smile on your face makes me feel special.” she sung the next part of the song. I begin to sing again and we song the last part together. “ I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear. I just want to disappear, disappear, disappear into your eyes. Just let me in, I promise I won't bite” she walked in. “Jong Hyun where do you know my song from?” she looked at me with her big innocent eyes. I was trapped now, I had to tell her the truth. I looked serious at her. And then started to tell our story. “ we knew each other, two years ago. I was in Denmark, and you was lost. We met each other like in the airport yesterday, but that time you broke your leg. I helped you to the hospital. And stayed with you the first 2 days. We talked about anything and you learned me that song, so I could be happy and not angry and sad. But the third day your family came.” I looked sad at her and my heart hurt like hell. “ you were sleeping and they thanked me and told me to leave, I tried to give you my number, but they kicked me out. That's why I know you was getting marriage too.” I opened a drawer and took a black cap up. “this is yours, sorry I never gave it back to you” she looked at me “ Tae Young?” I was surprised she, she remembered me! I nodded. She hugged me and hold me close into her. Then she looked at me “why have you changed your name?” “ I did something stupid” I said and blushed. She nodded understanding. “but why aren't you marriage?” I looked interesting at her. She blushed “ I start from the beginning, I woke up the day you leaved. And I kept talking about Tae Young and I realize that Brian was totally a jerk and boring too. So you saved me.” then she suddenly look sad. “what's wrong?” her eyes gets wet. “That day, my dad leaved us. He couldn't handle I kept talking about a fantasy guy. I haven't seen him in 2 years.” I looked at her “it's not now I should tell you he didn't leaved your 'cause you talked about me or what?” she looked at me “what do you mean?” “you dad didn't like girls, some day after I left the hospital I was on a cafe and I saw him with a man. At first I thought it was business, but then they began to kiss each other.” I looked down. She looked choked at me. “I'm sorry”. She start crying and putted her head into my chest. I gentle touched her hair. Suddenly a boy I never had seen before came in. he looked choked at us and the fast walked out. She looked after him and then yelled “Jun-Kyu!!!” the boy came back, I looked at him, he was handsome. “shall we go?” he asked. She smiled “yes, sure I just have to say goodbye first. I'll be there in two sec.” she smiled all over her face. Jun-Kyu smiled back to her and glanced at me. I just smiled. Then he left the room, I could hear his steps on the stair. She smiled at me. “i guess I see you some day” she hugged me and I smiled. “sure you do, remember to open the note I gave you” she laugh and then she left. I sat on the bed, confused like hell.

Then you finally meet Jun-Kyu :D

And Jr told you the truth :D 

I'm sure you still don't understand why he tried to kill minhyun but don't worry you'll find out later. :P

What do you think about the song they are singing PLEASE tell me :P

Hope you enjoy my story :D

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