Jessica’s POV

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jessica. I’m sorry…let’s…let’s break up.”

I was stunned. I had not seen that coming. Did she just ask for a break up? ‘No! This can’t be happening!’

“Pardon?”

“Let’s break up, Jessica.”

She was crying and it was the first time I saw her breaking down in front of me. All of a sudden, I was not seeing the strong Taeyeon that I have known all along. She must not have meant what she just said. I could see the unwillingness in her eyes.

“Why? If it is about my parents, we could work that out. I’m not leaving you just because they disagree! They’ll give in to us eventually, we just have to wait.” I was desperate.

‘She can’t just ask for a break up like that.' Was this the reason why she had been avoiding me again? I was surprised at how steady my voice was, despite being on the verge of crying myself. Was that it? I could not lose her; she had me in too deep that I could never imagine myself without my Taengoo.

“It’s…it’s not about them.”

“What is it then? Is it about me? What have I done wrong? Tell me! I can change if you want me to…just please….please don’t do this to me.” I was begging by then, hoping that it would change her mind.

Her expression hardened. I could tell that she was trying hard to put up a strong front. Again. Taeyeon’s tears had stopped falling. She wiped them off with her palms and took a deep breath before she started talking.

“Jessica, it’s not about your parents and it’s not about you either. It’s me. I’m the one with problems.” Her lips were quivering, her defense slowing falling apart. “Your father was right. If anything, I don’t deserve you.” she paused, waiting for the information to sink into my head. “You don’t need someone like me. You deserve someone better. I’m just a loser who can’t even get myself promoted. Look at you! You’re a top scorer! We’re worlds apart! People are gonna talk, they’re gonna judge and you don’t need them pointing at you behind your back!”

“That was it Taeng? Your ego’s getting in the way again! Aren’t you going to fight for me? For us? Why can’t you see that you’re all that I need...that I don’t care what others say as long as you’re by my side? What’s so difficult to understand about that? Will ‘I love you’ be enough to make you stay?”

“I’m sorry…you really deserve someone way better than a loser like me.”

I was angry at her for giving up so easily, for giving up on us, for giving up on herself. Even the greatest person had encountered failures at some point in their life, take Thomas Edison for example. If failing once makes a person a loser, wouldn’t the whole world be filled with them? I have had faith in her, I trusted her. She had always been so confident, so why was she doubting herself now? How many times had I told her I love her and had it not given her enough reasons to stay strong, to fight for everything? I was so absorbed in my thoughts that it took me a moment to realize that she was walking away from me.

“What happened to giving us a try? We have known from the start that it is not going to be easy. Why are you giving up now? Why?” I yelled after her.

It made her stopped in her track and I rushed to catch up with her, spinning her around to face me.

“Kim Taeyeon. Look at me.” I commanded her, tilting her chin in my direction.

I waited for her to look up and when she did, I saw tears b in her eyes once more. My heart ached at the sight.

“Tae, what has gotten into you? You’re not the Taengoo that I know, my Taengoo was such a strong person.” My tone softened.​ “She doesn’t give up easily. She was so full of herself, arrogant even, she won’t admit defeat. Where has she gone?” 

She was quiet, but had not made any attempts at running away again, which was a good sign.

“Don’t be swayed by what others think. They don’t know you, they don’t understand…I won’t claim to know you inside out even if I’m your girlfriend, but I’ll trust you. Repeating a year is not a big deal, Taeng. It doesn’t matter which path you take, it’s the destination that counts.”

Her eyes shifted away, looking at the stray cat not far from us. I nudged her chin, making her look back at me.

“I’ll be there for you no matter what others think…don’t give up on yourself because I have not given up on you. You’re a smart person…and results don’t change the fact that you’re such an amazing girlfriend, more than I could ever ask for.”

I cupped her face in my hands and gave her a peck on her lips.

“I’ll never want to lose you, Taengoo ah, and I’m not planning on letting you go…don’t even think about escaping from me. I didn’t sign up for this only to have you ditch me…”

She was crying by then and I had to force myself to not follow her. I had to stay strong for her, at least for now. I had to make her listen to me.

“I’m going to give you space for yourself. I can see that you need some time to sort things out. I won’t be far, I’ll be there whenever you need me. But that doesn’t mean that you can make a run for it and leave me all alone…I swear that if you ever try that, I’ll hunt you down and bring you back to where you belong. Right by my side.”

Possessive much, I know. But I could not afford her leaving me, not when I had given her my promise that I would make things work out for us when we first got together.

“Take all the time that you need for yourself, but don’t keep me waiting too long, I’ll get lonely. Come back to me a better person won’t you?” I wiped her tears away with my thumb. "You'll do that for me won't you? Promise me." I was waiting for a response.

Sniffing some, she nodded her head meekly, looking very much like a little child who just got scolded by her mom. I pulled her in for a hug, trying to calm her down. The Taeyeon that I was seeing standing in front of me now was a complete opposite of what I had seen in school earlier. She had come back to school after 2 days of being absent, looking as if nothing was wrong. In fact, I saw her laughing and joking along with her friends during break. I was not used to seeing her so emotional. She was a wreck, a wreck that needed saving. She needed someone to pull her out of her misery, to make her see light, and I was going to do just that.

"That's my Taengoo. You're not a coward, you're a warrior. We're getting through this, together…it doesn't make sense that we're breaking up just because of results. I’m not that shallow." I whispered to her, making sure it was loud enough for her to hear. "You know, you don't always have to be strong. It's okay to cry when you feel like it. It’s okay for you to lean on me too."

She nodded again.

I pulled away from the hug, taking her face into my hands once more.

"There, stop crying. You look better smiling." I said while forcing the corners of her lips up.

She forced a smile onto her face, but it was better than nothing. I reached into my bag for some tissues to dry her tears and pressed my lips against hers for another kiss to which she responded this time. I smiled. At least I know that she had not meant what she said earlier.

"Come on. Let's get you something to eat. You need to take better care of yourself." I took her hand and started to make our way to find some food.

Instead of having Taeyeon walk me home, I accompanied her to her doorstep that day. My parents may have restricted me from seeing her for the past week, but they could not stop me from seeing her during and after school.

“Rest well and remember your promise to me okay?” It was time to say goodbye to her and I probably would not be seeing her for days.

The thought of it pained me, but there was nothing I could do about it.

“You should speak up more about your own feelings so that I would understand what you are thinking about. I know you’re not ready to talk and I’m not going to force you.” I reassured her. “Let me know when you’re ready. I’ll be working things out with my parents too, just so you know. I love you, don’t forget that.”

“I love you too.” That was the first time in a week since I last heard her spoke those 3 words.

I had missed the way they rolled out from her tongue, the tenderness that carried with it. I watched her locked the door behind her before leaving, hoping that by the time she returns to my side, we would have gotten out of the mess that we were in. As much as I hated to leave her by herself, I know that it was for the best. That was the most I could do for her, knowing that my parents were partly the reason why she was feeling inferior.

Now that I had made sure that Taeyeon was going to be alright, that leaves me with just one more problem that needed to be settled. I had to try talking to my parents again tonight; I needed them to accept me for who I am, to accept Taeyeon, to accept us. It was not going to be easy but I will persuade them, I had promised to fight for our love.

Taeyeon’s POV

Just like Jessica had promised, she left me alone in school, though she did make it a point to send me a message every night before she turned in to sleep, telling me that she loves me. School was just lectures after lectures, which I skipped every now and then, together with Sooyoung and Yuri. Yoona would join us sometimes, and Sunny occasionally. I did not know why I was even in school. If I wanted to be rebellious, I should have went all the way and stayed home instead. However, I would be alone at home all day with nothing to do which was not what I had wanted as well. At least I would have my friends to entertain me in school. School ended much earlier than our usual timetable since we had a new mass lecture timetable for the last two weeks before school was out officially for the December holiday. Not wanting to go home so early, we often hung out in town, playing pool or catching a movie to pass the time away.

We were having a blast. Despite that, I had felt like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I was all smiles on the outside even though guilt was eating me out, joking around like I did not care or give a damn about the world but when I got home, I was this depress person, crying under my covers every night, not wanting people to hear or see me that way. Jessica was right, I had been a coward. I had always been running away from my problems and avoiding them. Not once had I faced them head on and it was no exception this time. I had not gotten around to thinking about how I would be dealing with repeating year 1 next year. We broke off for our December holiday soon after and I went on our annul family trip overseas, though I really did not think that I deserved to be enjoying myself that much, not after letting my parents down.

I found myself at the Go Kart center again not long after we came back from the trip, zooming around at maximum speed. The wind was blowing against my face as I went round and round the circuit. It cleared my mind, helping me to think. They say it is dangerous to drive while one was preoccupied but I could not help but reflect on myself. I thought about how the school year had gone by in a flash, about the fun and stressful periods I had went through, about my initial reaction when I had received my final grades. But mostly, I thought about Jessica. I was ready to talk, to open up. I had to contact her soon before she started thinking that I do not want her after all. I had believed her when she said she would hunt me down if I ever ditch her, I knew she meant what she said. She can be that scary at times. Said girl had too much trust in me that I was afraid of disappointing her as well.

Jessica’s POV

Taeyeon finally called me last night, she had wanted to talk. It was about time though and I had something important which I wanted to tell her too. Here I was, looking through my wardrobe looking for something suitable to wear. This was not going to be a date I know, but it would be the first time we were going to see each other in a while and I wanted to look good for her.

We were sitting outside the shopping mall which had a sea view right in front of us. She was gazing out at sea but I was staring at her the whole time, taking in the face that I had missed so much, getting myself familiar with her facial features once again.

“Dad gave me 3 choices.” She spoke up.

“What are they?” I asked, eyes still fixated on her face.

“One, repeat the year. Two, transfer to a Polytechnic. Or three, they’re sending me overseas.”

“Overseas? Where?” I started to panic.

“UK.” She simply stated.

“What do you plan to do then?” I asked, curious of her decision.

Call me selfish, but I did not want to lose her again, not when I just got her back. She could choose anything she wanted, anything but going overseas. She would be too far away from me.

“I’m going to repeat the year, for now. It won’t be too late to change my mind after the first test. After all, I’ve got Sooyoung, Yuri and Yoona. I’ll survive.”

I heaved a sigh of relief. I had not realized that I had been holding onto my breath while waiting for her reply. She was staying and that was good news, at least to me.

“Princess...” She called, turning to look at me.

“Yup?”

“Will you be free tomorrow night?”

“Should be. Why?”

“You see, we’ve got a Christmas gathering with some of my parents’ close friends and their children tomorrow...Tiffany will be there too.” She was being careful, checking for any reactions from me.

“You want me to be there? Why?”

“Yea...you know...when the adults get together, they tend to compare their children’s academic results...I mean they always do.” She looked at me with begging eyes. I gave her a nod, signaling for her to continue. I could see where she was coming from. “And I don’t think I could sit through it alone, knowing that they are going to talk about me the whole night. It’ll be hard on me so...”

“Okay, I get what you mean. I’ll come.” I gave her my word even before she could finish her sentence.

Who would not be uneasy if they are thrown into the spotlight, being the main character of the story told? 

Her expression brightened up upon hearing that I was willing to accompany her, giving me a cheeky grin.

“Thank you! You just save my sanity.”

There was silence again. Though we were so near to each other, we seemed so distant. To make things less awkward, I scooted closer to her, pulling her arm around me and snuggling into her. There, I felt so much better to be in her embrace again.

“You’re right, I was a coward.” She said, leaning down to land a lingering kiss on my forehead. “But I think I can be strong with you by my side. I’m not going to run anywhere now.”

“Good..I love you.” I replied, tilting my head up to kiss her on her cheek.

“I love you too, thanks for sticking around.” Another kiss was planted on my forehead.

“You have to pay me back for it.”

“Tell me, I'll do anything for you.”

“Really?” I perked up, looking back at her with eager eyes.

She chuckled, amused by my action.

“Anything for my Princess.”

I hesitated for a few seconds before speaking up.

“Well, you see...as I have told you, I’ve been talking to my parents about us and...and daddy wants you to join us for dinner tonight.”

I was unsure of how she would react to the news.

She was staring at the sea again, and I wondered what was going through her mind.

“So this I what you want from me? Dinner with your parents?” She turned back to look at me with a wary smile on her face. “Okay, I’ll come.”

I had not expected it to be so easy getting her to come home for dinner with me. I was all ready to go full out to persuade her, even thinking of going to the extreme of acting cute, which I absolutely hated to resort to.

“I thought I would be having a hard time trying to persuade you to come. You made it easy for me.”

“Have they approved of us yet?” She asked.

“I don’t know, daddy just told me to bring you home.” I told her honestly, not wanting to give her false hopes.

“We better get going then, we don’t want them waiting for us do we?”

She stood up, extending her hand towards me. I gladly accepted it, giving her a grateful smile.

Merry Christmas everyone! I’ve actually managed to find some time here and there to write this chapter. I had a little help from my girlfriend writing Jessica’s POV but even so, I don’t think I’ve done a good job expressing the conflicting feelings that Taeyeon was having, and I’m pretty sure my girlfriend would have a lot to say about it if she ever do read through it. LOL…well, she’s more of the artsy literature person, I’m too used to writing reports. Okay, I’m making excuses again. Have fun reading and do leave a comment, let me know what you guys think about this chapter! (: Merry Christmas!!!