A/N This chapter is ‘conversation heavy’ so it might be a little boring, but it’ll give you an insight to Taeyeon’s side of the story. I’ll leave it at that for the time being, so enjoy reading.

Taeyeon’s POV

“Do whatever you want, I don’t care.”

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Abby standing outside my room.

, Tiffany must have let her in.

Abby raised her hand, mouth opened, about to greet me. Why did she have to appear at such bad timing?

Acting on instinct, my finger moved to click on the mouse, and Jessica was gone. We were in the midst of a quarrel, about the friends that I was constantly around. If Jessica was to find out that one of the said girl happened to be at my house, in my room, I was positively sure that she would flip the table.

“Hey. Met your roommate while she was on her way out. She let me in.”

Still unsettled over the fact that Abby’s sudden visit could potentially start another war between me and my already furious girlfriend, I told her to make herself comfortable and made my way out of the room to cool off…

It was a bad idea to disconnect the call.

I knew Jessica must be fuming right now as I stood at the balcony, taking in deep breaths to calm myself down. I honestly did not know what came over me when I heard that she had been going out with Donghae; it had hurt because she was only telling me about it now, his confession included. However seeing that my expression was off, she had immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was pissed at her for going out with him, an accusation which I did not bother to explain for myself. Blame myself for not being able to express myself properly.

Truth to be told, I was not upset that she had been out with him nor was I upset at his confession to my girlfriend. She can go out with whoever she wants for I am not her puppeteer and he can say anything he needs to. He was just a friend. I trusted Jessica, which was why I had not said anything when I knew that she would be tutoring his sister, even if I did not like the idea of them together in one house.

“Is it possible for you to stop tutoring his sister then?” I had asked.

What I actually meant to say was “are you going to meet up with him again?” The phrasing just had to come out wrong since my brain was not really functioning. I had subtly hinted for her to tell me if she had any plans with him any time soon; I wanted to know if she was going to keep going on outings with him without me knowing. Obviously, she had totally missed my point. My fault, I admit.

But then, the rules she had come up with- the one that stated that I should inform her beforehand when I would be going out with my friends, did it not apply to her as well? It was fair that I let her know whenever I made plans with my friends, males and females alike; since I respected her as my girlfriend; I would have done the same even if she did not tell me to. It was basic curtesy, just so she knows that I was not up to no good and have got nothing to hide.

Though I appreciated the fact that she had been honest with me, the least she could do was to give me a heads up. I have never felt so insignificant, so detached from her life at that very moment, knowing that she had been keeping things from me. Was she that afraid that I would blow my top if she was to tell me? An obsessively overprotective lover…was that what she really thought of me?

Having a squabble with Jessica after a long and tiring day in school was the last thing I wanted on my list. Due to study sessions after school, I had not been able to talk online with Jessica for a while. Jessica had been stressed before her A levels and so was I; it was barely 3 months away from now. I was under pressure to do well since my father had thrown in quite a huge sum of money to send me overseas, not that I asked for it, he would obviously expect results. It is not much different from a businessman expecting returns from any investments he made. All I longed for, was a nice conversation with her, have a catch up session and then finish my revision before I hit the sack. How I wished it had turned out the way I planned for it to be.

I had no idea how long Abby had been in the house, but I was pretty sure that our voices could be heard from the living room, since the bedroom door was not closed. When did she come in? Had she been in here long enough to hear everything? It would big time to have an outsider overhear our squabbles.

Speaking of Abby, I should probably go back in. All hell would break loose if Jessica happened to call again and Abby answered it like what Tiffany would do.

“You’re back?!” She squeaked, startled.

Abby’s hands flew behind her back immediately, as if she was hiding something from me. She shifted uncomfortably on the bed when I closed in, looking like a child caught doing something wrong.

She was sitting on my phone, I noticed, which I remember leaving by my bedside. Abby had moved my phone, possibly even going through it. I had hated it whenever my friends so much as touched it without my permission, even Jessica was not exempted.

My mind went into overdrive, frustrated that someone had invaded my privacy. Even so, I gave her the benefit of doubt, maybe she was just looking around and my phone dropped or something…or maybe someone called and I was not around to pick it up...

Dang! Jessica!

Did she call?! It was entirely possible for her to try to contact me through phone and I could not let her know that I was home alone with Abby! A jealous Jessica would not stop to listen to me, especially when she was already fired up.

Pretending that I had not notice that my phone was moved, I reached out to retrieve it, hiding my anxiousness.

No missed call- checked. Nobody had called me in the last 20 minutes for that matter.

No text messages- checked.

Why then did Abby panicked when I walked in if she had not done anything?

Whatsapp...Jessica did message me a few minutes ago.

In fact her last message was ‘I don’t even know why I fell in love with you, I must be blind!’

Ouch, was she that disappointed in me to resort to such crude verbal attack?

Curious, I scrolled up, only to find messages that I was sure I had not open. But what shocked me the most was the fact that I had apparently ‘replied’ back.

Kim Taeyeon! How dare you cut me off! I’m giving you 5 minutes to call back. And I know that you’re looking at this.

Are you doing this on purpose to spite me?

Fine. Be sour all you want. I bet you’re even more sour than a lime and I don’t even want to care anymore.

Oh no, that did not sound good at all…

Okay. That’s the last straw, Kim. I’m going to cancel my flight. Just so you know.

I dare you to.

Wait. I dare you to? I definitely would not have the guts to talk to her like that, let alone message her. That was not me!

Watch me.

Besides, since when did she book her tickets? Did that mean that she had already book for a flight without telling me and was really going to cancel it?

I’m not going to care about what you do too, scrooge! Do whatever you want for all I care, I’m not going to forgive you so easily, just so you know!

“This is so not happening.” 

No. I would call her this instance to clear things up.

“Pick up, pick up! Why aren’t you picking up?!” I muttered, feeling myself getting more and more agitated by the second.

Baby, you have to answer the phone!

All I had got was the beeping tone from the other end of the line.

“Why, just why did you do that?” I let out all my frustration towards Abby, who was fidgeting about, looking uneasy.

It had to be her who replied Jessica on my behalf. There was no one else in the house except for the both of us. Why would she do that? It was something I could not understand. The problem was between my girlfriend and I, who was she to intrude even if she had overheard our heated argument.

“Screw it! Why can’t you just answer the god damn call?!”

I could not get through to Jessica via Skype and she had conveniently switched off her phone, probably out of anger after she typed in her last massage.

Why did I leave Abby alone in my room? I must have been stupid for telling her to make herself comfortable- she had made herself way too comfortable.

No, why was she even here in the first place?

To Princess <3

Baby, please. I can explain. Call me back ASAP. I love you.

From Taengoo

With that message sent, hoping that she would get back to me soon enough, I turned back to Abby, frowning.

“Why?” I asked, keeping my anger at bay.

“I heard you guys arguing. So I thought I should stand up for you since you aren’t fighting back for yourself.” She was sounding too calm for my liking.

“That’s not a reason. Look, now she’s madder than ever. Worst of all she’s not answering my calls.”

“Why didn’t you tell her that you’re out with us for study sessions? Why did you let her believe that we went out to play?” She answered back indignantly.

“Don’t turn the table on me, Abby.” I warned, feeling my control slipped, little by little.

Irritated, I tossed my phone onto the bed. It bounced off the pillow and landed with a soft thud on the carpeted floor.

“No. She’s a control freak and you’re letting her drag you along. Grow some backbones will you?”

What? Grow some backbones? There was no hint of remorse in her voice. Willing myself to stay cool, I balled my hands up, shoving them deep into my pocket lest I lost against the temptation to slap her silly.

“You don’t know anything.” I said through gritted teeth, jaws clinched tightly together.

“She is the reason why you rush home after school every day isn’t she? She is the one who make things difficult for you! Why can’t you see that?” Abby’s voice was rising, shooting me back as if I was the one caught doing something wrong.

Control…control and maintain, Taeyeon. You can do this.

“It was our arrangement. She wasn’t in the wrong.”

“Do you hear yourself Taeyeon? Look at the way you’re protecting her!”

Why was she yelling at me when I had not done anything to be scolded for? That was it, I finally lost my cool.

“Enough! I should be the one getting pissed because you sent her something that wasn’t even supposed to be sent in the first place. It’s my girlfriend you’re talking about and this is our problem so stay out of it!”

Abby was stunned by my outburst, seeing that I was one who was usually not quick to retaliate.

“It’s not going to work, the both of you. Face it. She can’t even handle this much and is already feeling this insecure.” She stood up abruptly, backing out of the room. “She not good enough for you.”

How was this linked to her invading my privacy? Where was this argument going?

“You’re wrong, I’m not good enough for her. Stop being so judgemental because you don’t even know her.” I almost growled, following her out. “She was there to catch me when I fall, she was there to help me back on my feet.” I had to let this out of my system. How else would I make her see Jessica’s importance in my life? “There’s no need for her to be perfect. Not when she’s already everything that I’ll ever need.”

“If you would open your eyes up and start noticing things around you, then maybe you’ll see that she’s not everything.” Abby jabbed at my chest a few times and I almost lost my balance. “There’s someone out there who can love you better, who can actually be here for you, physically and emotionally. And you’re hurting that someone just because of this one person you meet online every day and quarrelled with every other week.” She yelled back at me. “Stop hurting the person I love, will you?! I thought you are my friend!”

What the hell? And I was pretty sure my face showed what I was thinking even if I had not said it out loud.

“Since we’ve already started on it I’ll just make everything clear to you. I wanted to talk to you about this anyway, which is why I’m here in the first place. Let me put this straight for you once and for all.” She continued, her face turning red from all the yelling.

“Go on, go ahead. Enlighten me.” Sarcasm laced in my reply.

“Let’s not kid each other, you’re aware of who I’m talking about. Emily. She likes you and you know it.”

Okay, she caught me. I did have an idea who she was referring to.

“She’s everything a person would ask for. Why do you keep pushing her away for that undeserving girl of yours? It hurts to see her coming to me, crying over petty stuff like how you refused her invitation to have dinner together, blahblahblah. You jolly well stop being mean and start taking care of Emily, before I hurt you for real.”

Who was she to judge if anyone was deserving of me? She is not my mother for crying out loud!

“Is that supposed to be a threat, Abby? I thought you were my friend too.” I never knew she had harbored that much resentment towards me. “I’ve made it clear from the start that I love my girlfriend, I’m not leading her on in any way for god’s sake!”

Abby took a step forward grabbing my shirt. Her face was inches away from mine, and it took a lot to not flinch under her piercing gaze. , was she going to punch me?

“Emily loves you. I want her to be happy, even if her happiness is you.”

“And what about me?”

Everything was not making sense to me anymore. Everybody just had to ruin my already horrible day.

“I don’t care!” She spat, tugging my shirt tighter under her grip. “As long as she’s happy.”

The door clicked open, revealing Tiffany who just came back from grocery shopping. “Whoa whoa whoa...what is this?” It must have given her a shock to be greeted by the sight of Abby and I in the middle of the living room, about to rip each other’s throat out.

“But that doesn’t give you the right to destroy my relationship.” I hissed, ignoring Tiff.

Abby hastily released me and turned to leave, not before giving me a glare.

“She’s never going to be happy even if you keep pushing her to me! Not when my heart is already taken.” It made Abby stop in her track, though she did not turn to face me. “You said you love her. Go get her then. Make her forget a jerk like me.” I added quietly.

“If only it is as easy as you make it out to be.”

With that, she shoved past Tiffany and stormed her way out.

“Tae, what was that about?” Tiffany grabbed the grocery bags on the ground and closed the door, sparing one last glace behind her.

What was I to tell her when I myself did not know how things turned out that way? I did not know what I was doing, everything was a mess in my head.

Tiffany struggled to carry all the bags over to the kitchen counter but I made no move to help her. I could not feel my legs- they had suddenly went numb.

“Tae? What happened to you?”

It worried Tiffany for I gave no response for a long time, standing like a statue where Abby had left me. Warm hands cupped my face. Thumbs rubbing my cheeks in small soothing circles. It was then my legs gave way. Drawing them close to my body, I buried my face into my palms, rocking myself back and forth. Winter was over, the weather had been getting warmer these day. But it was suddenly chilly in the house and I wondered why. Tiffany did not seem to be affected by the cold though, maybe it was just me.

“I- I don’t know…I don’t know what happened.” Why was everything so complicated? “Jessica...she...she hates me now.”

“What makes you say that?”

Arms wrapped firmly around my shoulders pulling me close- it was what kept me from losing my mind. Tiffany’s scent was all over me, and I took in big gulps of air, taking in the familiar scent for comfort.

“She’s ignoring me. She’d turned off her phone. She’s not answering.” I whimpered, on the verge of crying.

“It is way past midnight back home, Tae. She might already be sleeping.” Fany reasoned.

“She’s not going to forgive me. Sh-she said so herself.” A depressing thought flashed through my mind, and I shuddered. “What if she gets sick of this? Of waiting? Of us?”

Silence enveloped us and I let myself got lost in Tiffany’s protective embrace. It suddenly dawn on me that it could possibly be true. Jessica might suddenly change her mind and decide that I was not the one. After all I was her first and many had said that first love do not last. Maybe Abby was right.

“It’s my fault...all my fault.” I made to hit my head with my fist but it was caught mid-air.

“Jessi loves you a lot, Tae...She loves you.”

“What if she decides-”

“Taetae, get up, come on.” Tiffany tugged on my arm hoisting me off the ground. “Stop being so pessimistic. Jessi’s not leaving you, she not going anywhere.”

‘That’s because she’s already away.’ I thought to myself.

Tiffany led me to the couch, making me lie down and disappeared into my room, only to come back with a blanket in hand.

“Take a nap. You’ve been up all night studying and you have not been getting enough sleep lately. Besides, you aren’t going to get anything done in this state.” She tucked me in, patting my arm gently. “There is only this much a person can take. Let’s not worry about anything now and rest. I’ll wake you up for dinner and we’ll talk about it then. Okay?”

I nodded meekly, closing my eyes as she instructed, a lone tear escaped from my eye without my permission; Tiffany wiped it away for me.

“Good girl. Want me to sing you a lullaby?” She teased, to lighten up the mood.

“Nope.” I croaked.

She was gone after giving me a few more pats. Hearing the clanking sound of metals, I assumed that she was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the both of us.

With everything that occurred in the past 1 hour, I thought I would never be able to sleep, not when Jessica was ignoring me. To her, it would seem like I was the first to violate our agreement of getting rid of any misunderstandings on the spot- I was the one who cut off the line. Regardless, no matter how livid Jessica was, I was sure as hell that she was hurting like me.

So much confusions and 2 broken hearts. Screw my life.

Okay, I lied. This is not going to be the last chapter. It’ll actually depend on how long I write for the chapters after this. On a side note, I’m still amaze at how the number of subscribers keep going up even when the story is nearing its end (I know I have been saying this since chapter 28 and it’s still not the last chap yet) Thank you to those who subscribed! Haha…feel free to leave some comments below and I hope you enjoyed reading (: Have a nice weekend!