Jessica’s POV

Flashback

It was pretty obvious that Taeyeon had been avoiding me for the past few days. She was in school, according to her friends but I had not seen her anywhere at all. The only news I got of her came from Sunny, who had apparently became Taeyeon’s messenger for the time being.

I was expecting Taeyeon to meet me after school by the gate on Monday but I saw Sunny instead.

“Taeng said to tell you that she had a dental appointment so she went ahead first.” Sunny informed me.

“Dental appointment? Okay, thanks Sunny, see you tomorrow then.” I waved goodbye to her.

“No prob.”

Well, she might have forgotten to tell me but at least she had Sunny inform me about it. I shrugged it off, thinking that I would be able to see her on Tuesday. How wrong I was. I did not get to see her the next day nor the day after. She was not with her friends during break and they too had no idea where she went to. Sunny told me that Taeyeon said to not wait for her after school for she had to be at other places. By Thursday, I was sure that she was doing this on purpose to avoid me and it definitely had something to do with what happened last Saturday.

“Hi Sica.” Yuri greeted me as I made my way towards them.

Sooyoung, Sunny and Yoona were with her at the study area as usual but Taeyeon was nowhere to be seen.

“Taeng was with us when we came out from class, but she disappeared.” Sunny told me

“Any idea where she went to?”

“Nope, sorry, she didn’t say anything. I didn’t even realize she was gone.”

Why was I not surprised?

“Oh well, it’s okay then.” I said, trying hard to not look pissed.

I joined them and took my seat beside Sunny.

“Did the both of you like get into a fight or something? No offense, but it seems like Taeng’s avoiding you.” Sooyoung asked while munching on her tuna sandwich.

“The last time I checked, we were fine.” I tried to make myself sound as convincing as possible.

“She’s not going home with you anymore? I saw her taking the bus back yesterday.” Yuri added in.

“Really? Sunny told me she was going to pick Hayeon up from the day care.” I looked at Sunny, waiting for her to give some explanations.

“Don’t look at me. That was what she said; I merely helped her pass down the message.” Sunny said in self-defense.

“Maybe there was a change in plan.” I tried to justify Taeyeon’s actions.

So she lied. Taeyeon never like travelling by buses, it made her sick. I was upset that she chose to go through the torture of taking one home instead of seeing me. We had decided to take things slow, no? She had said that she was willing to wait till I was ready. Just what was she thinking? She had some serious explanations to do.

I did not like the way things were going between us and I was going to do something about it. Our classes would end at about the same time tomorrow, I would have to skip my last period if I wanted to catch her before she leaves. I never liked the idea of skipping classes, but I needed us to work things out as soon as possible, I missed her too much.

Back to present

I found myself sitting on Taeyeon’s bed after our little confrontation outside school an hour later. We had the privacy we wanted at her house; there were too many people outside and we did not want anyone eavesdropping on our conversation.

Taeyeon was silent and I knew she was waiting for me to speak up.

“Taeng, I missed you so much.” There were so many things I wanted to talk about but did not know where to start from.

She was staring intently at the floor and showed no sign of looking up.

“Are you mad at me because of what happen that night?” I asked.

She furrowed her brows.

“I’m sorry, really.” I have wanted to tell her this for quite some time.

I had hurt Taeyeon that night; even though she did not show it and I had not had the chance to apologize for everything yet.

She finally looked up at me. There was something about her expression that I could not quite put a finger to.

“What are we now?” she asked me quietly.

It struck me then how fragile Taeyeon actually was. Despite the strong front that she always had, she was suffering by herself, quietly. It made me realized just how much she had kept to herself, all the hurt and insecurities she kept hidden, away from the public. She might have understood why I wanted to take things slower, but she was still confused, probably because I let her kissed me, leading her on. All of a sudden, it was me that needed to do some explaining.

I did not know how to answer her. I had not thought about it before, the question did not even crossed my mind once. All I had thought of was myself; I had been selfish. Everything was about me; I never spared a thought about her feelings at all. That same night, I had told her that I love her, giving her hopes only to have them crushed seconds after. I rejected her and yet let her kiss me anyway. She was right. ‘What are we?’

“I…I honestly don’t know Taengoo ah.” I pulled her into my arms for an embrace. “What do you want us to be?” I asked her back.

“You know what I wanted us to be.” her voice quivered.

I put my arms around her waist and drawed her in, leaving no space between our bodies. She wrapped her arms around me as well, hugging me back.

I had made my decision though I was not sure if it was the right one but heck, I was not going to care anymore. Everything will fall into place if it was meant to be.

“Taeng, lets’ give it a try.”

She pulled away from me, confusion evident in her eyes. Taking both her hands into mine, I took a deep breath and continued.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to be more than your best friend. But I can’t handle both studies and dating at the same time. I’m afraid that I might end up neglecting you and you’ll be disappointed in me. You are such an amazing person that you deserve a perfect partner but I’m nowhere near perfect. I’m lacking in so many ways but nonetheless, I want us to give it a try. I’ve hurt you Taeng and I’m sorry. Lets’ give us a chance shall we?”

She let me talked, not once did she interrupt me. I had made a grave mistake that particular night, making things awkward between us, at least for her, but I was going to put things back the way it was supposed to be.

“You don’t have to do this you know…I can wait…” There she goes again, always putting others before her.

Taeyeon was about to continue when I cut her off by pressing my lips against her. I felt her stiffened up against my body and I pulled her closer to me by her waist. Getting no response from her, I pressed my lips down harder on hers and started to nibble on her bottom lip. Finally she responded, her body pressing back against mine, accidentally pushing me down. My back hit the mattress and she was now hovering above me, careful to not put any weight on me. We stayed that way for what seemed like minutes, before I pulled myself away from the kiss.

“I’m doing it because I want to Taeng. Screw waiting, it can go to hell. I want to be with you, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

“I missed you too Jessica Jung.” With that, her lips were back on mine again and I let myself melt into it, enjoying the kiss.

We were so engrossed in our own little world that we almost did not hear the main door being unlocked. Footsteps could be heard coming down the hall way and we unwilling pulled ourselves away from each other.

“Damn, my family’s back.” I chuckled at her childishness.

Sure enough, we could hear her little sister running around in the living room moments later, screaming ‘Daddy, catch me!’

“Aww…stop pouting. Come on, let’s go out and greet your parents.” Giving her one last peck on her forehead, I stood up and dragged her out of her room along with me.

“Hayeon, stop jumping on daddy… Oh, hi Jessica, you’re here?” Taeyeon’s mother greeted me as she put down the groceries on the kitchen counter.

“Hi aunty, hi uncle.” I greeted back.

Taeyeon went over to help her mom with the groceries while her dad went into his study room, leaving Hayeon and me in the living room.

“Hello Hayeon, what are you playing? Mind if I join you?”

She smiled back at me shyly, offering me a toy plushie.

“Jessica, do you want to have dinner with us today? We’re having lasagna.” Mrs. Kim called from the kitchen.

“Sure aunty, I’ll inform my parents about it.”

Dinner was served 1 and a half hour later. It was delicious; Mrs. Kim was a good cook. I was helping Mrs. Kim wash the dishes when Taeyeon came in.

“Sica, do you want to stay over tonight?” she asked, as she took a yogurt out from the refrigerator.

“I will have to ask for permission.” I replied while drying the last plate.

“Thank you for the dinner aunty. It was delicious.”

“You’re welcome Jessica. Now, the two of you go out and play, I need to clean the kitchen up.”

“But mom, we’re not kids, we don’t play.” Taengoo started protesting. I laughed.

“You’re getting in my way kiddo. Go on, go to the living room and entertain your sister.” Mrs. Kim laughed, shooing the both of us out.

I had gotten permission from my mother to stay at Taeyeon’s since tomorrow was a weekend. My new girlfriend had lent me some sleepwear for the night and we were currently cuddling together in bed, watching a movie. It was a romance movie and it had me crying by the end of it.

“Why are you crying?” Taeyeon ask me, while wiping my tears away with the back of her hand.

“Because he died.” I sobbed, another tear escaped from my eye.

Taengoo laughed so hard, so much so that the bed shook underneath us.

“Stop laughing!” I was a little irritated that she had made fun of me and hit her arm lightly.

The movie was sad.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop. Don’t be angry.” She said while trying hard to control her laughter.

It died down eventually and the room became silent.

“You won’t leave me right?” I felt stupid as soon as the words left me.

Why had I said that?

“Sica.” Her voice was serious.

“Hmm?”

“You’re not going to regret any of this later?”  

I took a few seconds to organize my thoughts before answering her. I was being cautious.

“Frankly, I’m not sure if we’re making a right decision. You know, with the society not being open-minded about certain stuff and I’ve no idea where it would take us in the future. But I’m going to do my best to make things work for us.”

“No regrets, really?”

“I love you Taengoo ah, and that’s all I know. But I’m not perfect and you have to be there to help me along the way, to tell me when I’m doing it wrong.”

“You’re perfect in my eyes, I’m the one who’s lacking. But I’ll guide you as you wish and you’ll have to do the same for me. You are my first girl, you know.”

“Girl? You mean there was a guy before me?”

I was joking but she took me seriously. She looked so flustered trying to explain herself that I had to try hard not to burst out laughing.

“No! No… I mean you’re the only one. I swear!” She looked so cute like that.

She was about to say more when I shut her up with a peck on her lips.

“Don’t you know that there’s such a thing called joking?” there was a hint of sarcasm in my voice, my lips twitching up to form a smirk.

“And you do know that it’s an offense to steal right?”

“I didn’t steal anything.” Now I was confused.

“It’s an offense to steal too many kisses in a day princess.” That was childish.

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Well, two can play the game.

“It’s not considered stealing if I’m taking what’s mine in the first place. And that wasn’t a kiss, it was merely a peck.”

Ha. Jessica-1, Taengoo- 0.

“I’ll show you what a kiss is.” She growled playfully.

Before I could react, Taeyeon had flung herself onto me, claiming my lips. I responded back.

Jessica-1, Taengoo-1. Damn, it was a draw.

What started off as a slow kiss soon became heated, it was hard not to given that we were on the bed. Taeng swiped her tongue across my lips and I parted them, giving her acess into my mouth. We started a tongue war, each trying to gain dominance over the other. Sometime between the make out session, Taeyeon crawled on top of me, with her arms by my sides, supporting her. Heavy breathing could soon be heard in the room and I was glad that it was already past midnight. It was late and her family had already turned in for the night, which meant that there were no chances of us being walked in on.

Being the big ert that Taeyeon was, her hand had travelled underneath my shirt, caressing my bare stomach, playing with my belly button. It tickled me and I smacked her hand away, breaking off the kiss.

“You know, I do intend to save myself for marriage, Taeng.” I teased.

“What a way to kill the mood, Jess.” She rolled off me, groaning as she did so.

She lay down beside me, trying to catch her breath.

“But I’m glad that you are mine.” She turned her head to look at me.

I could hear the sincerity behind every single word she said.

“I love you princess.”

“I love you too Taengoo.”

We stared at the ceiling for a while. I was glad that the Taeyeon I knew was back, though I really did not think that I deserved her forgiveness so easily after all that I had put her through.

“Shall I go switch off the lights?” She asked.

“Sure, I’m getting sleepy.”

Taeyeon crawled back to bed after switching the lights off, randomly moving her hands around under the blanket, trying to reach for me.

“Stop it Taeng, it tickles.” I squirmed around, trying to avoid her hands.

“Come here, let’s go to sleep.”

I settled myself next to her, resting my head on her chest as she pulled me closer by my waist.

“Night princess.” She said, planting a kiss on my forehead.

“Night.” I mumbled back, slowing falling into deep slumber.

Chapter 6's up! YAY! Just realized that I've got 18 subscribers, lol...I wasn’t expecting that may. Thank you people!(: I'll do my best to not disappoint you. Chapter 7 will be up tmr. was hoping that i could get as many chapters written before i go on a xmas holiday with my girlfriend. heh..I'm excited. Enjoy reading and comment away, I'll do my best to reply to each and every one of them (: