Taeyeon’s POV

It has been 7 weeks since the party that night, 7 long weeks since I practically begged her to ask me to stay in my semi drunken stupor.

The one month holiday came and went, but by the end of it, Jessica had not only made sure that my hopes of her ever saying that one simple word were crushed into tiny pieces under her feet, that ‘damn’ word, according to her, had also gotten us into yet another useless argument.

Flashback

Roughly 3 weeks ago…

“Taeng?”

I had been looking at Jessica for the past 10 minutes with my chin propped up with my hands. Having stayed silent despite her calling for my attention four times in a row, Jessica must have gotten annoyed with my unresponsiveness and decided to throw her pen at me, square in the face.

“Oww!” I jerked my head back, almost falling out of my chair while grabbing my nose where her self-improvised missile had successfully got me.

It did not hurt that much, but the flying pen caught me off guard. I was even more surprised at the fact that it had actually managed to hit me.

“What was that for?” I grumbled, checking my nose for any damages.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” She sniggered. “Stop touching your nose, it’s fine.”

Jessica reached across the study table and grabbed her pen out from my grip, settling herself back into her chair.

“What were you thinking about? You are supposed to be studying.”

“I was thinking about why a certain someone would stubbornly refuse to keep me by her side.” I replied spitefully, still bitter about the flying pen episode. “It wouldn’t kill you to just say ‘stay’. How difficult can that be?”

“We’ve been through that Taeng, you know the reason why.” Jessica rolled her eyes and returned back to her books.

“I don’t understand why. Don’t you love-”

“Not again, baby.” She threw down her pen. “You know I do. I love you more than anything else.”

“Then make me stay.” I snarled, finally had had enough. “I’m tired of going around in circles. Dammit! This is not getting us anywhere.”

She glared at me and it took all I had to not cower in my seat.

“Watch your language! Your sister is just next door!” She scolded.

Since it was a school holiday and nobody was home to take care of Hayeon, I had taken her along with me to Jessica’s house where her domestic helper could help keep an eye on her in addition to Krystal’s companionship.

“Besides, why do you keep asking me to make you stay? You had no problems with the arrangement that night! You-”

“I just came back from a bloody competition, I was dead tired!” I exploded, not caring if it came out sounding vulgar. Hayeon would not be able to catch what I say anyway. “It wasn’t fair okay. How do you expect me to feel or say anything when I wasn’t even in the right mind? You f***ing drop this huge bomb on me and expect me to retaliate?”

“I said watch your language!” She threw her thick literature book at me, which I managed to dodge before it could damage my nose, obviously pissed off. It landed on the ground with a loud thud.

The entire morning spent cooped up in Jessica’s room revising through my Physics lecture notes, which also happened to be my most hated subject did not help at all in keeping me calm. It seemed like repeating the year had not change my dislike for the cursed subject at all.

“What? I didn’t say anything wrong! As soon as I got my sanity back, the freaking withdrawal form was already handed in, signed and approved! What do you want me to do about it?” I stood up abruptly, pushing the chair back with more force than necessarily. “It’s like drugging me and making me sign a divorce form against my will! This is obviously a conspiracy!”

*Knock knock*

The door creaked open and the both of us snapped our heads towards it.

Krystal was standing there, with Hayeon peeping around her, lips quivering.

“Is everything okay here? You were a bit…you know…too loud?” Krystal asked hesitantly, eying the both of us.

“I told you to keep it down, didn’t I?” Jessica hissed at me.

“No, you told me to watch my language.” I replied nonchalantly.

Jessica gritted her teeth, clenching her hands tightly. It looked like she was about to curse at me right there and then but instead, she turned towards the door, lips pulled up in a fake smile.

“It’s okay. Why don’t you bring Hayeon out to the playground for now?” I could hear the restrain in her voice as she spoke.

Krystal seemed to get the implication behind those words for she quickly ushered my innocent sister out, assuring her that everything was fine.

Jessica made sure that the sound of footsteps disappeared down the stairs before lashing out at me.

“Look at what you have done! I told you to watch your language! You scared your sister!”

“You just have to say the word ‘stay’ and everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Goddammit Taeng! You don’t get a divorce and take it back as and when you like!” she snapped back, grabbing her hair in frustration.

“I can. I haven’t meet up with the head of departments to sign all other necessary forms! In other words, the divorce is still pending!” I retaliated. “You came crying to me saying that you’ll miss me, but you were the one rushing me through the whole process! Why is that you are so eager to get rid of me? Show me that you really love me. Make me stay.” I told her firmly, disregarding the daggers that she was throwing at me through her gaze.

“Grow up won’t you? There are many ways to show that I love you and haven’t I already proved it to you!? Don’t you trust me? What more do you ask for?”

“Grow up? Are you implying that I’m childish, that I’m not good enough for you?”

“How did you even get tha-”

“Just why are you so intent on sending me away? Have you been cheating behind my back?”

Another book came flying my way. I was not so lucky this time, the hard cover of the offending book hit my temple, hard.

I winced, feeling a bump starting to grow. My fingers touched something wet and sticky and it turned out to be blood. The sight of it made me even madder.

“Did you just threw a book at your girlfriend?” I accused her.

Jessica looked slightly apologetic, but that was until she heard the words that came out from me next.

“Lee Donghae isn’t it? The one from our OG. You’ve been getting very chummy with him these days.” I mocked, words filled with sarcasm.

“He. Is. Just. A. Friend. Idiot! I was alone during break time because we don’t have as much common breaks as we used to have!”

“Why him of all people? You have Clarice don’t you?” I challenged her. “Don’t you know that he’s got feelings for you!?”

“Clarice and I don’t always have the same classes and you know it!” she shot back. “And you of all people should know the reason why we don’t get that many common breaks anymore. You freaking repeated a year!”

Silence. The sound of pin drop could probably be heard in the room. I could literally hear my blood boiling.

“You…you didn’t just say that.” I shook my head, pointing an accusing finger at her.

“Taeng…look. I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.” Her voice softened as she tried to reach out to me.

“Don’t touch me.” I backed away, trying to avoid her. “What do you mean that’s not what you meant? That was exactly what you meant!”

“No, I’m sorry. It just slipped-”

“That’s because you have been trying to hold it back for the past few months. Now I know how you truly felt all along. You finally said it.”  I snarled viciously, advancing towards her. It was her turn to back away from me. “I freaking repeated a year. I’m not good enough for someone who made it up to the honor roll in her first try. You just made me look like a retarded loser holding on to you!”

“Taeng, no-”

*Thud*

Her back hit the wardrobe door but I continued my advances, slamming my right hand on the wood. Jessica flinched.

“You should have said so earlier than. I gave you the choice to leave me didn’t I?” My eyes watered, trying my hardest to fight back the pain that shot through my palm, numbing my arm. “Why don’t you leave then? Go to Donghae, I heard that his results aren’t that bad, top student in his class. And I bet that he is much more matured than I am.” I sniggered.

Jessica’s eyes hardened and she pushed me away, jabbing my chest with her finger while glaring at me.

“If you have that little faith in me, let’s just break up.”

With that, she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Okay. What just happened?

My brain stopped functioning for a moment trying to register those words. I made no efforts to go after her, staring blankly at the door.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

‘You can’t be serious.’

2.

1.

¾…

*Bam*

The door shot open again. The next thing I know, I was being rammed into by a huge force and would have fallen over if not for the pair of arms wrapped securely around my waist.

All I could take in was the familiar scent of the strawberry body wash wafting through my nostrils.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.” I felt hot air blowing on my neck as she spoke. “Forgive me please. I was angry, I wasn’t thinking. It came out all wrong. I love you Taeng.”

Jessica pulled away from me and I could see her face now. It was full of concern as she touched the busted skin gingerly, courtesy of her book.

“Does it hurt? I’m so sorry baby, I shouldn't have thrown the book at you.”

I adverted my eyes to the floor, refusing to look at her in the eyes.

“Come, let’s get the wound cleaned up for you.” She said, trying to guide me to her bed, pulling on my right hand.

“Ouch!” I gasped, retracting my hand away instantly, as if it was burnt.

Shocked by my reaction, Jessica lifted my hand up by the arm, checking it for any injuries. The base of my palm was red, a sign that the blood was clotting up. With a finger, Jessica pressed on the redden flesh tentatively and I winced.

Careful to avoid touching the injured area, Jessica led me to sit down on the edge of her bed and went off to look for the first aid kid, coming back a few minutes later.

There were quite a lot of blood, but luckily, the cut was not deep. Jessica cleaned it up, applied some antiseptic cream and pasted a plaster over it, not forgetting to plant an apologetic kiss on it afterwards.

Picking my right hand up, she planted anther kiss on the sore area before she started massaging it gently. It hurt quite a bit at first but after a while, the pain became bearable.

“Taeng, I didn’t mean to put it that way. You know I don't care about the whole retaining stuff. I’m sorry.”

I kept mum, fixing my gaze on her thumb rubbing the same spot over and over again.

“Could you please say something?”

“I’m sorry.” I finally spoke up. “I’m sorry for saying those stuff earlier. I was being stupid.”

“Let’s just forget everything. Nothing happened.” She stopped working on my palm and cupped my face with both her hands.

I nodded meekly.

“Shall we get our sisters and go for lunch then?” She asked.

I nodded again.

We had lunch at a shopping mall nearby since Hayeon insisted on having fast food and were on our way back with Hayeon running in front and Krystal chasing after her. Jessica and I had not talk much during lunch, but nonetheless, we were still walking hand in hand together, as if to show through actions that we had forgiven each other for all the hurtful comments earlier.

“Sometimes we’ve got to give and take and be contented with what we have…We can’t always have everything we want in life all the time, Taeng.” Jessica’s eyes were fixed on the pavement as I turned to look at her. “I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

She seemed to be thinking through something and it took her a while to answer me.

“I know you wanted it…the experience, the thrill of studying overseas, being independent…and I don’t want to be the one holding you back.”

She was still looking down at the ground, kicking a random stone every now and then.

‘It doesn’t matter, as long as I have you.’

“You’re lucky enough that your parents are able to afford to send you there. Not a lot of people get the chance to do that you know.’

‘I can always go later.’

“I don’t see why you should be pushing back an opportunity as great as this Taeng. And your parents had already paid for everything.”

It was as if she knew what was going on in my mind. Maybe she was right all these while. She reads me better than I can understand myself.

‘What about us then? What about you?’

“Besides, I trust the love that we have for each other. I’m not letting you go because I don’t love you enough, it’s because I have enough faith in you. You’re not going to change just because we’re miles apart. Neither am I going to change because you’re not here.”  I was looking straight ahead but I could feel her gaze on me now. “We’re going to overcome the 8 hours difference, we’ll be able to work things out eventually.”

“How can you be so sure of this? A few months is enough to change someone…it took me less than an hour to fall for you, Princess.”

“Are you not confident in yourself then?” She challenged me. “Because I’m pretty sure that you are all that I want. I can’t see myself with someone else…though you can be a douche sometimes.”

Her last sentence cracked me up.

“Only because I care for you.” I chuckled. “I’ll take it that you know what you’re doing then.”

“Oh, I do know what I’m doing 99% of the time.” A smile formed on her face.

“Not going to regret?”

“Are you going to regret?” She rebutted.

‘Trying to be smart with me huh?’

“I’ll race you to the house. Winner gets to shower first.” I told her before I let her hand go and dashed off, running past Krystal and Hayeon soon enough.

Seeing me run, both of them followed suit without knowing why. Hayeon in particular thought that I was playing catch with her and ended up chasing after me with Krystal close behind, ready to catch her just in case she falls and injures herself.

I could barely hear Jessica yelling behind me as I turned the corner.

“Wait up! You’re saying that just because you don’t have anything else to say, coward!”

I laughed as I made it past the gate first, turning around and catching Hayeon as she crashed into me.

“You’re so dead for making me run Kim Taeyeon.” Jessica puffed, glaring at me. “You’re going to get it when we’re alone.”

“Why? Are you going to kiss the life out of me like when we’re at Hara’s house?” I stuck my tongue out at her, swinging Hayeon in the air as she chuckled, throwing her head back. “Whoa...watch that, I’m going to drop you.”

“You wish, idiot.”

“You guys are so weird.” Krystal held her arms out and Hayeon willingly went to her. “One moment you’re going at each other’s throat and the next you’re acting like nothing happen.”

“That’s call love, baby sis. You forgive and forget.”

“Argh! Give me a break. Like I can forget the stuff I was made to hear all the time.” She acted as if she was disgusted by Jessica’s answer and carried my sister to the living room. “Come on, let’s ignore them and watch some television.”

“Well, I get to use the bathroom first anyway.” I informed her as I made my way up the stairs.

“Whatever, baby. Just hurry up and get out. I want to nap.”

I Jessica’s hair as she slowly fell into deep slumber, freshly out from the shower moments ago.

‘I’m sorry for yelling at you again, Princess. I was an idiot.’

A soft snore escaped from her lips and I planted a chaste kiss on her forehead.

‘A short nap wouldn’t hurt I guess.’

Back to present

The argument was never brought up again. It was like it had never taken place at all. After waking up from our nap, Jessica returned to being the naggy girlfriend, ticking me off for stealing glances at her instead of concentrating on my revision, ignoring me even when I was complaining about the big ugly bruise forming on my palm.

I was in the exam hall, clicking my pen and staring at the huge digital clock in front. I was done with the last Economics essay that I ever have to do in Junior college and for the first time ever, I was not looking forward to being dismissed. To the others in the same hall I was in, it would mark the end of exam week, but to me, it just meant that I was halfway through July, another two weeks before I get ready to leave.

Once again I realized how true it was that time waits for no man. No matter how hard you pray for time to stand still, it never did.

New chapter (: School started again today and I was excited for lectures. Werid? LOL! Hope you enjoyed reading and thanks for the upvotes and subscriptions (: