Taeyeon’s POV

I made her get out of the house as soon as she was done eating and after I had changed into a new set of clothes. She asked no questions, allowing herself to be dragged along. The train ride was silent and she kept herself occupied with music. I nudged her to get off a few stops later, taking her hand as we got out of the train station. Minutes later, we were walking along the pedestrian walkway, away from the crowd in the shopping mall. The streets were quite at this part of the city, seldom were they any cars passing by. Trees lined up the deserted streets; it would have been eerie to be walking alone at night. We passed some restaurants which only operate in the evening when she started opening .

“Isn’t this place near the army camp or something? Why are you taking me here? You’re not trying to kidnap me are you?”

“I’m not going to bring you to the army. You’ll see, we’re not far away from here.”

“You better not be trying anything funny, Kim Taeyeon.” She warned, though she could have not called me by my full name.

Swinging our intertwined hands in the air as I led her on, I was glad she did not pull away and let me held hers.

“Go Kart? What are we doing here?”

I smiled and pulled her in, sitting her down at the café by the circuit. It was still early and there were only a few tourists coming in.

“Here, drink up. I don’t want you getting sick again, not when you just recovered.” I handled over a bottle of mineral water which I bought from the café, unscrewing the cap for her.

“Why the Go Kart circuit?” She asked again, taking the bottle from me.

“You wanted to know where I disappeared to sometimes after school. So I’m showing it to you, my secret hideout.”

“But why here?” She looked around, as if looking for a reason as to why I would choose this secluded place where people seldom visit.

“The speed clears my head. It relieves the stress and allows me to think.” I shrugged.

“Are you trying to imply that the Go Kart is better than your girlfriend?” She accused me.

“No! What I mean-”

“Hi, Taeyeon. You’re here again? Don’t you have school today?” I was interrupted by Jodie, who works part time selling tickets there while waiting for university admission.

I waved at her, smiling impishly.

“Oh, rebellious, I like. Don’t worry, I’ve been there, done that.” She winked at me.

I glanced over at Jessica nervously, not knowing how she would respond to it. Maybe bringing her here was a wrong move after all, I could have just told her about the Go Kart.

“Come buy your tickets later alright? I got to go.”

I gave her an okay sign and she started walking away.

“Now I know why you come here. Pretty, isn’t she? Probably just a few years older than you. Not a bad catch. She can take care of you.”

The sarcasm…I was not sure if I could get away from this mess; it seemed like I had just dug my own grave. I took a deep breath.

"Why? Are you doing to shout at me again?" She continued.

Ow, my head. Keep calm Taeng, the weather's nice...sky's blue...your favorite color...

"No. No, it's not like that. That was just a onetime thing. I was being stupid and I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to shout. I swear."

"Explain then, the Go Kart. I'm listening."

"I joined the membership. It was just for fun in the beginning but it makes me forget whatever's troubling me so I find myself coming here whenever things don't turn out the way I want."

Jessica remained silent so I took it as my cue to continue talking.

"I came here to escape reality, to have some fun. It doesn't mean I'm choosing you over the Go Kart. You are forever the best. It's just the...adrenaline?" I blabbered on, not sounding very convincing. "Jodie, that girl just now, she's just a worker here. I don't like her...I love you. No one else can replace you. You're the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Nobody can beat you in terms of looks, personality and brains." I added in some flattery, waving my hands in the air for effects, showing her my best puppy eyes, hoping that it would make up for my blunder.

“It still doesn’t explain what’s been bothering you.”

Sneaky, she went one round just to dig that out from me? Explanations? Was that what she had wanted from me all along?

“Do you really want to know?”

Was I ready to tell her yet? Does she even have to know?

“……Nope.” She stood up and started walking away.

Startled by her actions, I scrambled after her, reaching for her wrist in an attempt to stop her from leaving.

“I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything, just ask. I brought you out so we could talk. But you’ll have to forgive me.” I conceded.

“That depends.”

There was no point in keeping things from her anymore. I know for sure that she would not rest till I spill the beans. Tourists were starting to gather at the café after their rounds in the circuit and I needed some privacy for us. There were nobody at the spectators’ stand and even better, it was in the shade. She was still scowling when I led her over.

“Why can’t you say everything in one shot?”

 “I’m sorry-”

*Buzzz* My phone started vibrating. Jessica gaze went down to my pocket where my phone was, raising her brows. Annoyed, I took it out from my pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was Yuri. She had probably called to ask why I was not in school, nothing of importance. I flipped it over and took the battery out putting them back into my pocket. Why do I always get interrupted whenever I was about to explain myself? First Jodie, now Yuri.

“There, no one’s gonna disturb me now. Where was I?”

“Tell me why you’re going about looking like a scrooge. Don’t tell me it’s stress, you know it’s not.”

“Right.” I sighed in defeat. “Basically, I am just unhappy about everything...about the school, the teachers, my new classmates...you name it. It's nothing new and you probably heard Sooyoung and Yuri complaining about such stuff at some point in time. Nothing much.” I paused for a while. “I stayed out of those conversations mostly, I don't want to sound like a whinny kid...I mean there's nothing we can do about it."

I was bothered by such trivial matters, maybe even more so than Yuri, Sooyoung and Yoona, probably because I had not really talked to anyone about it. Jessica would have been sick of hearing them by now, courtesy of my friends and so was I. It was an issue I should have gotten over a long time ago.

“Tell me anyway. We had agreed on transparency.” Jessica nodded her head, signaling for me to carry on.

“The school always give the same like ‘oh, you deserve it, maybe you should have worked harder so you wouldn’t be here in the first place.’ I’m frustrated. Everything they do or say makes me feel like they're purposely picking on me even if they’re not.” I furrowed my brows, scratching the back of my ears.

“It irritates me. I'm not as straightforward as Yuri, neither am I as vocal as Sooyoung. See, nothing changed even when they make a big deal out of it. This topic should never have been bought up again, which is why I am reluctant to have this discussion. It makes me look even more like a loser as if I am not one, already."

I told her everything, not holding back a single detail. 'Anything she wants.' I reminded myself.

“Point is, it makes me feel bad about myself and heck, I don't even fit in with the class. I don't even know why I wanted stayed in school.”

“So you're saying that you feel unwanted?” Jessica asked. “You can try talking to your class. You don't even talk to them.”

“I don't know, I've got a hard time mixing in. Most of all, I'm not sure if I’m making a right choice. I’m confused, and it’s giving me a huge headache just by thinking of it…”

“What do you mean by choice? Explain properly so I understand.” She glowered at me and I cowered in my seat.

I'm so whipped.

“Stop looking at me like that, it scares me, please.” Her gaze softened and I relaxed a little. “Erm…my dad applied for me to study overseas last year when I...you know... failed the promo exams…and they accepted it.” I continued, looking everywhere but her, not sure how she would take the news. “He really wanted me to go. Everything’s set and all I have to do is to decide if I want to.” I took her hands into my lap and started playing with her fingers, still not looking up. “I did not plan to have you know about this. I don’t want you to worry about something that might not even happen.”

That was it, everything that I had kept to myself. Nothing much, just petty stuff that I had been overthinking.

No one spoke for a few minutes. The silence was killing me for she was not giving me any response. All that can be heard was the sound of the Go Karts zooming pass us occasionally.

“Might?” She finally broke the silence.

“I have not really decided on it yet.”

“How long?” She was surprisingly calm.

“4 years minimum, 7 if I get into med school.” I hesitated telling her that, knowing that she would not like the information.

“What do you plan to do?”

I dared myself to look up at her, meeting her eyes.

“I don’t want to leave you, you know it. I can’t.”

“Come here, idiot.” She hugged my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder. “You should have told me earlier. What if you decided that you’re going?” She slapped my back hard, making me jerk. “Are you going to tell me just a few hours before you leave?”

I could not tell what she was feeling at that moment. If she was taken aback by the news; she did not let it show.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to think about things that are undecided. It is not worth you spending time thinking and worrying over it.” I whispered. “I’m not hiding anything now. Will you start talking to me?” I hugged her back, tighter than it was necessary.

“Remind me how did you even get on the honor roll? Are you that stupid, Taengoo ah?”

She was calling me by my nickname!

I pulled away from her.

“Taengoo?” I asked. “You’re calling me Taengoo again! Does that mean that I’m forgiven?”

Jessica looked up at the sky, tapping her chin.

“I don’t know…let me see…”

“Yesh! Sica’s not mad at me anymore!” I started jumping around, dancing happily.

“I didn’t say anything about that. And stop jumping. People are looking at us weirdly.” She pulled the hem of my shirt trying to make me sit down.

“I just know you. You don’t even have to say.” I beamed at her.

“Seriously, Taeyeon. Are you really older than Hayeon?”

“Come on, don’t be like this. I love you and I’m sorry for everything. You’re right. I am the one that changed. No more secrets. It won’t happen again, I promise.” I held her face up, looking straight into her eyes. “Honestly, I was mad at myself for screwing up.”

“No more secrets." She agreed. "What about the school your dad-”

“See, that’s why I didn’t want you to know. You’re going to keep thinking about it.”

“Plans do change you know. You said you're confused”

“I’m alright with the way things are for now.” I assured her.

I leaned in, wanting to steal a kiss from her but she was faster than I was. She blocked me with her palm, pushing my face away before our lips could meet.

“No kisses for you today.”

I pouted. It had been 5 days since I was deprived of those lips, mostly of my own doings, but still, I missed the way they move against mine.

“I don’t want you getting sick too.” She smiled the first real smile I had seen since last Friday. “And I do wish you stay like this, being dorky. I miss you. But that doesn’t mean you go neglecting your studies. You know, balance.” She cradled my face.

“I’m sorry.”

“And make sure I'm the first to know if you ever change your mind about staying.”

“It won't happen, but if it makes you happy then yes, you'll be the first person to know. No more secrets from you.”

She nodded her head.

“Since we're here, do you want to go get your ticket from that pretty lady? Jodie you say?” She squashed my face together making me squirm.

“Nope, it's okay. I don't need the Go Kart when I'm with you. Besides, I left my membership card at home.” I struggled to get away from her.

“That's it? I bet you're so going on it if you brought the card along with you.”

I rubbed the spot where she had given me a pinch, flashing an innocent grin at her.

“See, I knew it. You can't hide anything from me.” She wagged her index finger at me as she spoke.

“Let's go for lunch, I'm hungry.” I extended my hand to her which she accepted, locking our fingers together.

We passed by the ticketing booth on the way out. Jodie saw us and waved.

“Going now? Come again Taeyeon!”

I felt Jessica tense up beside me but she still manage to give Jodie a smile as we walked away.

“The next time you come here, I'm tagging along.” She said through gritted teeth. “I don't like the way she look at you.”

“Okay.” I was not going to object it, Jessica gets what she wants.

“You could have told me everything at home, why make me get out of the house?”

“I'm going to bring you out on a date. You'll have to get out anyway. No books, just the two of us.” I winked at her.

“You realized I'm packed with class tests next week right? I'm holding you responsible if I fail any of it.”

“You'll do just fine, you always do. I've got faith in you.”

That earned me a smack on my arm.

“What? I’m only saying that because it’s you.”

She blushed at my words, looking down.

I smiled. It was nice taking a walk with her without having to worry about exams and tests once in a while. We should have done it more often.

Jessica’s POV

I thought about what Taeyeon told me as we walk back to the shopping mall. Yuri and Sooyoung had had their say about the unfair treatment towards the repeat students but all Taeyeon did was to agree with them, nodding her head by the side. She had never gave her honest opinions about such matters though I had a feeling it affected her much more than it had to her friends, seeing that her ego was way bigger than her size. I had guessed that she was unhappy in school, her expressions said it all. Anything that makes her feel inferior bugs her.

If anything, it was the possibility of her being sent overseas that took me by surprise. Sure, I had known about her parents giving her that option when the end year results came out, but I had not expected her father to actually send in an application form. On top of that, the school had accepted it. It would not take a genius to figure out why Taeyeon chose to repeat the year when it was obvious that her pride could not handle it and I was not sure how I should feel about it. Was I ready to let her go? 4 years is a very long time, not to mention 7. What am I going to do without her? What will happen to us?

“Are you tired? Want a piggyback?” She tugged on the hand she was holding, pulling me out from my thoughts.

“Nope. I can walk.”

“I'm sorry for shouting at you. I shouldn't have even if I was tired.”

“Stop saying I'm sorry or I'm going to believe that you did that on purpose.” I warned her.

“I love you.”

“...”

“Aren't you going to tell me you love me too?” She looked at me with begging eyes.

“...”

“Okay then, I’m sure I’ll make you say it by the end of the day.”

Where had that confidence come from?

Taeyeon took me out for lunch, just a simple meal, nothing fanciful. I had wanted to go to the park after that but Taeyeon objected to it, saying that it was too hot outside and that she did not want me under the heat when I just barely recovered from my fever. She also made me drink lots of water so that I had to run to use the restroom every now and then. We walked hand in hand around the air conditioned mall instead, shopping. I found some shorts that I liked and she bought them for me without hesitating. She was spending her savings generously that day, I noticed.

“Choose whatever you like, I’ll pay for them.” It was so not her.

Usually, whenever it involves activities like shopping, she would be whimpering by then, begging me to go home as she trailed behind me, weighed down by shopping bags. I could tell that she was trying very hard to please me even after she was forgiven. Her stubbornness and determination was something that I loved about her though it makes me feel like strangling her sometimes. Whenever she sets her mind to do a certain thing, she makes sure to see it through, with 100% effort.

“Get up my back, I’ll carry you home.” She bent down in front of me after exiting from the train station, not minding the stares we were getting.

“Stand up Taeng, people’s staring, it’s embarrassing.” I smacked her shoulder, pulling on her arm.

“What’s there to be embarrassed about? What’s wrong with piggybacking a sick person? We don’t have a car anyway. Hop on.”

Talking about stubbornness. Wanting to get away from the crowd as soon as possible, I hopped onto her back, burying my reddening face into the crook of her neck.

“I hate you.” I said, hitting her chest lightly as I rested my head on her shoulder.

“I know.”

Her arms were under my thighs, supporting my weight,  shopping bags dangling in her hands. The streets were quiet as we turned into my district, passing by houses after houses.

“But I love you too.” I pressed my lips onto her neck.

Without needing to see her face, I knew for sure that she was smiling.

“And you’re not a loser, not in my eyes. Stay with me tonight, please. I don’t want to be alone.” I requested, lips brushing against her skin lightly.

She nodded as I kicked the gate open for us to go through.

New chapter as promised. I updated this as soon as I was done with my assignments; hope I didn’t disappoint any of you. Lemme know what you think of it (: Happy reading!