A/N It has not been proof read, expect grammar, tenses and spelling mistakes. I'm going to edit it tomorrow, hopefully. Have fun reading

 

Jessica’s POV

“Okay. So you’ll be home late tomorrow?” I asked, feeling dejected. “We’re not going to talk online again?”

“Yep. I’m sorry, Princess. Will make it up to you, unless you don’t mind staying awake to wait for me!”

“Are you kidding me? You want me to wake up at 3 in the morning? And then go back to sleep again afterwards?” I whined. We both knew it was mission impossible, a very bad idea to begin with. “You know it’s going to be the first day of the lunar New Year! I can’t go around visiting relatives looking like a panda!”

Taeng was laughing her head off at my reaction, almost falling off her chair.

“What’s so funny about it?” I demanded. “Why don’t you stay up and wait for me to come home then?”

It took her quite some time to calm herself down, being the dorky person that she was.

“I can’t stay up too late, baby. You know how I get cranky in school if I don't get enough sleep.” She replied, trying to put on her straight face.

It did not last for more than 5 seconds before she jumped onto her bed and rolled about in a giggling fit.

“What’s wrong with you? Seriously.” But I could not help myself from smiling at the sight of her childish behavior. “I can’t believe you’re turning 19. Act your age won’t you?”

I waited for her laughter to subside, quietly observing that silly little girlfriend of mine.

“It can’t be help then, I guess we’re not seeing each other tomorrow.” I lamented.

It was a pity though. We could have welcome the year of the snake together, not that it really matter. Since it would be the first time she had to spend the lunar New Year far away from home, I thought it would be nice to at least have some company so that she would not feel so alone. Apparently Taeng was not as lonely as I had thought after all.

‘Fine. Evelyn, Abby, Katie and one other girl whose name I had forgotten… Go out with your friends instead. I don’t care.’

“I’m sorry darling. Maybe I’ll come home early.” Taeyeon had finally managed to calm herself down and was sitting properly on her chair again.

“No it’s okay. Go enjoy yourself. You don’t have to come home early for me.” 

“Okay. Have fun collecting red packets! I’ve got to go off soon. Bye!”

“Taeng! Wait!” I stopped her before she could cut off the line. “Have you forgotten something?”

She thought for a while before realisation dawned on her.

“Oh. I love you, darling.” She grinned. “Don’t forget that.”

“I love you too baby.” I sighed.

Another sigh escaped my lips after the connection went dead.

‘Why do you like going out so much?’

Ever since I had given her a little more freedom, Taeyeon had been going out more often with her friends. Recently, it had gotten to the point where I would only get to see her online 2, or 3 times if I was lucky, per week. She used to text me to ask about my day on days when we did not get to web cam but even that had decrease as the days passed. Even her ‘I love you’-s were getting lesser and lesser- She had seemed too preoccupied with other stuffs that sometimes, she would forget to say them. I did not know what had gotten into her.

I yawned and stretched. 1 in the morning, I had promised Hayeon to bring her out for lunch, after the CNY celebration at her school. Krystal would meet up with us later, after she was done with school. I had better get into bed soon or I would be late to pick Hayeon up…not a very good idea to keep a primary school kid waiting by herself for too long.

 

--

 

“Hey, you’re here.” Donghae greeted me at the door, holding it open for me as I took off my shoes.

“Hi.” I smiled back at him and stepped into his living room.

“She’s waiting for you in her room.” He informed me.

“Okay.”

I had no problem navigating my way around his house since I’ve been there quite a few times.

“I’ll be outside.” Donghae stopped me before I could step into his sister’s room. “Fell free to call me if you need anything.”

I nodded my head giving him a slight smile before closing the door behind me.

There was a very long break of approximately half a year before university would start so a lot of my friends had found part time jobs. I was no different, except that I was too lazy to stick to schedules that requires me  to report to work at 9 in the morning. Therefore, I had resorted to giving private home tuition and Donghae had offered me my first job- I was to help his sister with her English. Easy as it may seem, I was hesitant to accept his offer for firstly, his place was not exactly near. I would have to spend time travelling to and fro from my home but convenience aside, I was not sure how Taeyeon would react to it- she was not fond of him for obvious reasons. However, I was running low on cash since my parents had stopped giving me allowances so who was I to reject any job offers that came floating my way? As expected, my girlfriend had not been all that pleased when I told her the news, even if she had not made it obvious.

Teaching Donghae’s sister was easy. She had a strong command of the English language and I had no idea why Donghae thought that she would need help with it. However, since his parents had been paying me, I had to make sure that I was at least doing something. All I had done for those 2 hours every week was to give her essays after essays to do and then give her suggestions on how to improve them. I had never felt so useless in all my life.

I was about done with the tutoring session when there was a knock on the door. It was none other than Donghae.

“Are you guys done for today?” He asked.

“Yep.” His sister chirped, swiping her books aside. “I’m going out with my friends, oppa. You’ll have to eat lunch by yourself.”

With that, she was out of the room faster than the wind. I was left behind, packing my stationaries into my pencil case.

“So…” I jumped a little, hearing Donghae’s voice. I had not notice that he was still in the room. “Do you want to accompany me for lunch? You heard that little twerp, no one’s having lunch with me.”

‘Tell him no. Taengoo wouldn’t like it.’

“It’s just lunch with a friend. I’ll pay for it.” He spoke up, before I could come up with an excuse to reject him. “I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t mind.”

Lunch with a friend. Taeyeon.

‘Yea, he's right. There’s no harm in having lunch with a friend. It’s just once anyway.’ I thought to myself the image of Taeng and her many ‘girlfriends’ came into my mind. ‘If you can go out with your friends, I can go out with mine too.’

Before I knew it, the both of us were in a booth at a nearby café having fish and chips.

It was awkward. Nobody spoke as we ate and I was starting to regret it. Why had I agreed to it in the first place?

“Erm…so when are you enlisting?” I asked, in an attempt to break the silence.

He look up from his plate to look at me in the eyes. Not being able to hold the eye contact with him, I felt my gaze fluttered down onto my lap.

“After the results are released.”

“Oh…really? Some of the guys in my class had already went in. I was just wondering when it would be your turn.”

“Well, the earlier they go in the faster they come out. It just so happen that I'm called to enlist at a later date.”

There was silence after that and I chewed on my food quickly, literally shoving it down my throat. ‘The faster I finish, the faster we can go. It’s the same theory.’

“Jessica?”

“Mhmm?”

“How’s it going with Taeyeon?” He asked, putting his fork down.

‘Why do you care?’ But of course there was no way I would say it out loud to him.

“We’re fine. Why?” I wiped my mouth with the serviette and took a sip of water.

“Nothing. Just asking...Do you…erm…I…Have you always like girls?” He blurted out.

I had no idea where this conversation was going but I had a very bad feeling about it. My heart told me to walk away from him this instance but my brain could not seem to function- it was not sending signals for my legs to move.

“No. It’s just Taeyeon. I haven’t had any interest in anyone before her.” I answered curtly.

“Okay.” He nodded, frowning slightly as he processed the information that was given to him. “Have you ever thought of dating boys though? Maybe you aren’t…you know.”

‘What’s wrong with you? What are you trying to say? Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk about this?’

“Maybe I’m not a what? A lesbian?” I shrugged, trying to sound casual.

“I didn’t mean to put it that way. But yes, how do you know if you truely love her? I get that Taeyeon is your first and everything, but maybe, just maybe, you’re not what you think you are.”

‘Not what I think I am?’

The nerve of him. I flared up then, but had managed to keep my temper in check. Was he trying to imply that Taeyeon was just an experiment? For me to find out my ual orientation?

“I love her.” I told him firmly. “I know what I’m doing and I’m happy with the way things are between us right now.”

“But-”

“Look, I’m sorry. I have to go now.” I took a look at my watch, pretending that I was rushing for time…anything to get out from there. “Thanks for the meal. But I have a kid waiting for me to tutor.”

“Jessica.” I was about to stand up when he grab hold of my wrist from across the table. “Wait, just spare me a few more seconds. It won’t be long, I promise.”

Against my better judgement, I sat back down in my seat.

“I like you, Jessica. Ever since orientation. But then Taeyeon came into the picture.” He paused, eyeing the ring that was resting snugly on my finger. I had taken it off the necklace and it was back on my finger ever since school was out. “I’m sorry for saying this now, and I’m sorry if I had offended you earlier…but I feel the need to at least let you know, even if you don’t feel the same about me. I am in love with you Jessica, for the past 2 years.”

…

Now, what was I supposed to say? I knew I should not have stayed. Damn, why did I even agree to have lunch in the first place?

…

“You know what? Let’s just-”

“Donghae.” Before he could continue, I cut him off. “Thank you. Thank you for feeling that way about me, I’m honoured, really... But I really love Taeyeon, with all my heart and for that, I’m sorry. Not for loving her, but for not being able to return your feelings.”

“You don’t have to be.” He said softly. “I wasn’t even expecting much…it’s just that I’ll regret it more if I did not at least give it a try.”

For once, I had managed to look into his eyes without breaking contact and I saw the hurt in them.

“You’re a really good guy, Donghae. If we had met in other circumstances, if I don’t already have Taeyeon, I might have like you.”

He took a big gulp of water, presumably to compose himself. His hand was shaking slightly as he placed the cup down.

“Maybe. Just maybe.” And then with a more sincere smile, he continued. “But you both look good together. I hope it works out for you.”

“Thanks.”

I had managed to reply him, blushing slightly.

Yes, he might have crossed the line earlier, but it was hard to stay angry at him when he was being so genuine with his feelings. I never thought that I would be the source of somebody else’s pain my whole life. Had I known earlier, I would have drawn the line clearer between him and me.

“Can we still be friends though?” Donghae extended his hand towards me. “We’re still going to see each other when you come tutor my sister. I don’t want us to be awkward around each other. Like how we used to be- just friends.”

“Friends.” I agreed, taking his hand.

 

--

 

“What have you been doing these days? Still giving tuition?” Taeng asked.

She was on her bed, lying on her stomach as we Skyped. Books were sprawled out all around her and I had no idea since when did she pick up the habit of studying in bed. We haven’t been talking like this for the past few days. Taengoo had claimed that she was very busy with school since her ‘A’ levels are coming up. The only reason why she had asked to video chat was because my results had just been released a few days prior and she was curious about my plans for further studies.

“Yep, same old. I’ve got 5 kids under my belt now. At this rate I would be able to save up enough for air tickets to fly over to see you without asking daddy for money.”

She pouted at my words.

“So are you trying to say that you aren’t coming over if you don’t earn enough?” she huffed. “I thought your visit was planned!”

“I was kidding, baby. Stop pouting. You look disgusting.”

“I thought you said I was cute?” The pout was still on her face.

“It was, at first.”

“Okay, now you’re just being plain mean.” She was not pouting anymore, but there was a frown in place of it.

She had looked so helpless that I was tempted to reach out and those creases away.

“But seriously, princess, what have you been doing besides giving tuition? Krystal said that you are always out these days. I mean how busy can you get with just 5 students?”

‘Hmm…should I tell her? But it was meant to be a surprise…’

“Nothing much really. Just walking around since I was kinda bored at home anyway.” I replied, after pondering over how I should answer her. “Actually Taeng, I’ve got something that I have been wanting to confess.”

“Go on…I’m listening.” She urged.

‘Should I tell her…or should I not?’

“What do you want to confess for you to look so lost?” Taeng asked. She must have seen the hesitation written all over my face. “Have you been cheating on me?” She added jokingly.

It only made me feel guiltier…What I was about to say, she would not be happy to hear for sure.

“Don’t tell me you’re really seeing someone behind my back, Jessica.” Hurt was detected in her voice when I did not say anything.

“Not exactly, it’s not what you think.” I spoke up quickly, fearing that she was going to take it the wrong way. “It’s just that you’re not going to be…pleased, when you hear about it.”

“That’s for me to judge. You started the topic, don’t keep me in the suspense.”

“Okay…but you’ll have to promise to let me finish talking before you give any comments on it.” She nodded her head and I took it as a cue for me to continue. “I had lunch with Donghae a few weeks ago. And he confessed to me.”

As expected, at the mention of his name, Taeyeon’s expression had frozen up. But staying true to her promise, she kept quite waiting for me to continue.

“I told him that I love you and he shouldn’t waste his time on me.”

…

“Are you going to say anything Taeng?”

…

“Taeng?”

“Are you still meeting him then?”

“I still do, when I tutor his sister.”

“That’s all?”

“Ermm…well we did went to the university open house together, as friends.”

I watched her expression all these time but all she had given me was a straight poker face.

“Is it possible for you to stop tutoring his sister then?” Taeyeon asked, face still void of emotions.

“I can’t baby. His parents are paying me the money and besides, his sister has got nothing to do with it.”

“Okay then.”

…

“Jessica? You know what? It’s getting late on your side, you should probably go sleep soon.” Taeyeon pushed herself up, so that she was sitting instead. “Besides, I have lots of things to do. We’ll talk about this next time okay?”

‘Is she mad at me? But I haven’t done anything wrong have I?”

“Okay. Please don’t stay up too late as well.”

“Got it. Bye. I love you.”

Something about the way she had said ‘I love you’ was off. It sounded dead.

“I love you too Taeng.”

And the line went dead.

The way she had look before cutting the line off was nagging at me. No matter how I tried to go to sleep, I just could not get the image of her out of my mind.

 

To Taengoo:

Baby? Are you mad at me?

From Princess<3

 

I had decided after a long time to text her, wanting to know if she was alright.

Her reply only came in 10 minutes later and I literally jumped to get my phone when I heard the vibration.

 

To Princess<3

No, I’m not. What makes you think so? Go to sleep. It’s late.

From Taengoo

 

To Taengoo

You don’t look alright to me. Is it because I went to the open house with Donghae? We’re just friends, really.

From Princess <3

 

To Princess <3

Don’t be ridiculous. Why should I care if you went with him or not? Go to sleep.

From Taengoo

 

‘Why should you care?’

She was mad alright.

 

To Taengoo<3

Okay, I’m not convinced. I’m calling you. You had better pick it up.

From Princess<3

 

With that, I flipped the covers off me and went to over to my desk. Flicking the study lamp on, I switched on my laptop again.

It did not take long for the connection to get through and Taeng appeared on my screen for the second time tonight…or this morning.

 

“Tell me what’s wrong with you?” I demanded.

“Nothing. I told you it was nothing, so why aren’t you going to sleep yet?”

“Stop telling me to go to bed Taeng. With that sour look on your face, nobody’s going to believe that you’re fine. So spit it out and stop acting like a child.” I was trying to control myself. A fight was the last thing I wanted at this time of the night.

“You’re not going to do anything about it anyway, so what is the point of me telling you when you already know?” she said irritably.

“So you’re jealous? I’ve told you we’re just friends and I have already made it clear to him that nothing’s going to happen between us, ever. Stop being-”

“Childish.” She finished the sentence for me. “Yea, I get it. You don’t have to keep telling me.”

“Then why are you being like this, darling?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Come on Taeng. We’ve been through this. Talk to me. I’m not going to sleep with you being upset with me.” I practically begged.

“Fine. Maybe if you would stop seeing him, and I’ll consider being a little happier.”

“You know I can’t. I’ll see him whenever I go to his house, it’s not like I can ask him to go out. It’s his house.” I said, exasperated.

“Think of a way then.”

All these while, her face was stoic, which added on to my frustration.

“You know what I think of this Taeyeon? You’re just trying to be difficult with me. I haven’t said anything on all your many outings with Abby and whoever they are. And yet here you are being all sulky because Donghae confessed to me.” I was speaking rapidly in a hushed tone, afraid of waking my family up. “Why are you such a scrooge?”

“I don’t like how you’re spending time together with him. You know I never liked him in the first place and yet I allowed you to tutor his sister. Aren’t you going a little too far Jessica?” She defended.

“Who are you to tell me which student I am allowed to teach? And neither do I like how you’re spending so much time with all your little girlfriends. Even more than the time you’ve set aside for me!” Her statement had only fired me up.

There was a long moment of pause whereby nobody said anything. I was waiting to see how she would respond.

“Fine. You win.” Taeng conceded.

Just when I thought that we were going to talk thing out nicely, she just had to ruin it.

“Do whatever you want, Jessica. I don’t care."

With that, Taeng disappeared from my screen, leaving me fuming.

I figured she was not going to pick up any calls seeing that she was the one who hung up on me and instead retrieved my phone from the bed and began to type furiously in the whatsapp application.

 

To Taengoo:

Kim Taeyeon! How dare you cut me off! I’m giving you 5 minutes to call back. And I know that you’re looking at this.

From Princess<3

 

Her status showed that she was online and I knew she was reading my message. I waited for her call and felt myself getting more worked up as the minutes passed and she showed no sign of responding. 5 minutes, and there was no call…but she was still online.

 

To Taengoo:

Are you doing this on purpose to spite me?

From Princess<3

 

She had went offline for a few seconds before it showed that she was online again.

 

To Taengoo:

Fine. Be sour all you want. I bet you’re even more sour than a lime and I don’t even want to care anymore.

From Princess<3

 

To Taengoo:

Okay. That’s the last straw, Kim. I’m going to cancel my flight. Just so you know.

From Princess<3

 

With that, I exited from the application. Seconds later, the LED on my Blackberry phone lit up, indicating that I had a whatsapp notification. Finally she replied. But her reply was not what I had expected it to be.

 

To Princess<3

I dare you to.

From Taengoo

 

To Taengoo

Watch me.

From Princess<3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New chappie and it’s longer! Haha…didn’t take me weeks this time (:

The rated tag won’t go away in the previous chapter so I’ve uncensored those curse words…since it’s going to be rated anyways. The next chapter is prolly going to be the last chapter…but I don’t know when it’ll be up. Hope you had fun reading and since I found time despite being so freaking busy to put this up- so I don’t keep you all from waiting for weeks again, I’m going to expect some comments from you guys…heh.

Till the next time~