Taeyeon’s POV

“Hey, are you coming with us?” Holy . I was not expecting Emily to be standing behind my locker and it almost scared the life out of me when I was greeted with her face inches away from mine right after closing my locker door. “Opps, sorry.”

“I-It’s okay.”

“So are you coming with us or not?” She repeated.

I looked past her shoulder and saw Abby from a distance, making her way through the crowded corridor towards us.

“Erm…not today.” I could literally hear the clockworks turning in my head as I desperately try to think of an excuse to get away from Emily ASAP, at least before I have to come face to face with Abby. “Look, actually, I’ve got something on and I really need to run.” I picked up my backpack from the ground, ready to bolt. Abby was just a few meters away from us by then. “I’m not joining in on study session today. Sorry, gotta go!” I turned and squeezed my way through groups of students, who were still making their way out of the classrooms.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Leave her alone. Come on, let’s go.” I barely heard Abby’s response, heaving a huge sigh of relief at having gotten away just in time.

It was not that I was afraid of her or anything. It was just awkward for me to be within 1 metre radius from her ever since what happened between us in my apartment. Besides, we had not  been talking to each other since then and considering the fact that Emily did not know of that incident, it would be best if I kept my distance from the both of them.

Now that I was no longer going for after school study session with my usual group of friends at the library, the only place left for me to go was back home. At least I would have Tiffany for company, someone whom I would actually be comfortable with.

“Mhmm…I don’t know.” Tiffany had the phone held between her ear and shoulder as I walked into our living room, one hand doodling randomly on a piece of paper with the other reaching into a bag of potato chips. “Quite bad. No appetite, can’t sleep…drowning under piles and piles of assignments. You might want to come see for yourself.” She complained.

“Yea right, busy my .” I scoffed upon hearing that, scanning her from head to toe and then her surroundings. She was just lazing around and yet she claimed to be ‘drowning under piles of assignments?’ “Quit whining to your boyfriend. You’re so gross.” I added quietly, but Fany heard me. She merely shrugged her shoulders and waved me away.

Boyfriend on the phone, I figured. I had initially wanted to ask her to accompany me out for dinner after dumping my school stuff in my room but looking at the way she was talking on the phone, she was not going to hang up any time soon.

Oh bother, I would just have to wait. In the meantime, maybe I should attempt to call Jessica again, or check if she had replied to my email.

“Why can’t I say?” Being the loudspeaker Tiffany was, I could still hear her loud and clear from my room. “Fine then, I won’t tell. But it better work, because if it doesn’t…I won’t know what to do with her.” It was followed by a series of muffled giggles from the pink monster outside. Yep. Definitely her boyfriend on the line. Besides, she barely had anyone to call. “I can totally imagine that! So I’ll see you tomorrow? ...But don’t you think that’s a little too harsh?”

I rolled my eyes. How was it that she was still having fun with her boyfriend when my girlfriend had decided to go MIA on me? She had even promised to help me get Jessica to call me back, but had obviously not gotten around to it yet, seeing that I had not heard from said girl since that day.

Drumming my fingers impatiently against the surface of the writing table, I waited forever for the laptop to start up, while attempting to call my girlfriend through her mobile phone. As usual, I could not get through her phone and I was starting to suspect that she had it permanently switched off just to avoid talking to me. Pretending that her phone had taken a dip in a puddle of water was way easier to accept than knowing that I was deliberately being pushed away by the princess. Did that even make sense? Maybe I was being stupid. But then again, just the thought of her phone going for a swim comforted me; it made me feel better for the time being.

No emails.

Neither was she picking up her Skype calls.

Sigh. ‘What’s new?’

It had been 2 weeks since our squabble and 2 weeks since I last heard from her. I had explained everything to Tiffany over dinner after she woke me up only to receive a scolding from her for being so tactless.

“What? I didn’t ask Abby to reply her.” I said irritably, cutting off her naggings.

“You could have just kicked Abby out of the house with a ‘sorry, maybe you should come back some other day’ and then called Jessi back immediately.” Tiffany shook her head and frowned at me. “How difficult was that?”

“You don’t just go around kicking friends out of your apartment…well…I did think of her as a friend anyway.”

“You should have been more straightforward with your feelings then. Why did you have to be so secretive?”

That night, I had send Jessica a long email to explain everything like Tiffany had told me to, not forgetting to send her a text message for her to check her inbox as well.

I had mopped around at home for a few days, not in the mood to do anything, studying included. It went up to the point where Tiffany decided that enough was enough and managed to slap some sense into me.

“Are you going to keep this up?” Tiffany slammed her spoon down halfway through dinner, making me jolt in my seat. I was playing around with my food, upset over the fact that I still could not get hold of Jessica. “Seriously?”

Feeling even more frustrated due to Tiffany’s outburst, I abandoned my dinner altogether, pushing the chair back roughly, causing it to topple over. Tiffany’s eyes were on me the entire time and I was about to go lock myself up in my room away from her when she spoke up again.

“That’s all you’re capable of doing? Showing attitude?” She did not even flinch when I shot her a murderous glare. “You know that’s not going to work on me. You don’t look scary at all.”

“You are not my mother.” Ignoring her, I picked up the fallen chair, setting it back properly. “Stop acting like you are.”

“I’m not trying to be your mum, Tae. But what am I supposed to do when my friend refuses to do anything a normal human being does?” Hands thrown into the air in an exasperating manner, falling back onto her lap with a soft thud. “This place is my house as much as it is yours. But you’re suffocating me in my own home with the way you’ve been acting.”

“I’ll be in my room.”

“Tae. Taeyeon!” I slammed the door shut, locking it. “Tae?” The door knob jiggled. “Stop being childish. Open the door, talk to me.”

“Everybody tells me that I’m childish. I’m not, okay? Damn it!” Grabbing the nearest thing, which happened to be a pen, I threw it so hard against the wall that it bounced back. “And you’re not my mum!” Flipping onto the bed, I buried my face into the pillow. “Leave me alone, I want some quiet time.”

“You had your quiet time for days, Tae. Come on, open the door, please.” No reply was given. “Don’t make me take the spare key.”

Minutes passed but not a sound could be heard from outside. Just when I thought that Tiffany had finally left me alone and went back to her dinner, a soft click was heard and the door opened, revealing Tiffany.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked, deadpanned. “I told you to leave me alone.”

“But I want you to talk.” The bed dipped at my side, a hand rested on my shoulder. “I want to know that you’re going to be okay… You are going to get sick if you keep this up.”

“The only person I want to talk to is not talking to me… If I could, I would have booked myself a plane ticket just to fly over and for us to talk things out… I had slept on cold hard floor, freeze through the entire night to make her forgive me once... what else can I not do for her? There’s absolutely nothing I can do to make her talk if she doesn’t want to… not when we’re so far apart.” I stubbornly replied. “And I am okay, I’m not thinking of committing suicide if that’s what you’re afraid of.”

“That’s not what I am saying…It’s just a quarrel. I’m sure she’ll come around once she cools down.” Tiffany started patting me. “But you’ll have to act like a human Tae. You can’t just skip your meals and lie around after school. I know you’re not in the mood to do anything, but some things just have to be done regardless of any situation.”

“Fany?”

“Yea?”

“Why is Jessica so confusing?” I asked hesitantly. “She’s confusing me so much right now.”

“And why is that?”

“She...I…erm…I mean…urgh!” How should I put it? “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay, take your time.”

“I…actually…I can’t understand her these days and I don’t know if it is because we’re spending too much time apart from each other...it just feels like we’re no longer on the same page.” I confessed. It had been an issue that was bothering me for quite some time. “You know, I didn’t want to be here. I mean I like the thrill of studying abroad by myself. But then I met her and my priority changed…It doesn’t matter anymore if I don’t get to study overseas…as tempting as it might be…” I shifted my head a bit to remove my face from the pillow. “I gave her the choice to make me stay but she didn’t want to. She said that nothing is going to change between us… we would eventually work things out and she will find a way to join me here.” Jessica did say that- if my memory did not fail me, thinking back on that day when we got into an argument because I was adamant on forcing her to say the word ‘stay’. I ended up with a busted forehead and a bruised hand- without getting what I had initially pushed for. “She told me she trusted our love…but all she did was gave me stress when I couldn’t get her calls in time. I tolerated her whining, her constant mood swings, and her accusations of me flirting…just because you felt the need to tell her that Emily kissed my cheek…I didn’t even get mad when she told me that the only reason why I had to go through such treatment from her was for her to test if I cared enough to put up with her.” Why was she so contradicting with her words? “I thought she said she trusted me, so why is she this insecure? Did I do something wrong?”

Looking up at Tiffany who was watching me with an unreadable expression, I groaned inwardly. What was I expecting from Tiffany? Take my side and tell me that my girlfriend was being stupid? I must be kidding myself. Tiffany and Jessica had grown closer to each other within the last few months and were practically each other’s new best friend. Even if she had to pick sides, she would most probably choose Jessica over me.

“You know what? Just ignore me. What’s the point of me talking? It’s not going to change anything. Fine, I screwed up big time, everything was my fault, and she’s the only one who can get pissed and I can’t! It was just once for God’s sake! And it wasn’t even because I couldn’t trust her around him. She just have to drag every single girl that I hang out with that isn’t you into every single argument.” I then buried my face into the pillow again. “Now that I’ve talk, will you go away and leave me alone?”

“Everything’s gonna be okay.” Tiffany reassured me, but I was not going to buy it this time. I had heard enough of it.

“You said that the last time. I get it, long distant relationships don’t last. I’m an idiot for thinking we can make it through.”

A long sigh escaped from Tiffany. “Are you breaking up with her?”

“If she wants to. I’m not going to stop her.” Even though I knew I never meant it, even though I knew I would regret this later on… “It’s only going to tire us out eventually… I… I just want her to be happy.” Damn those shameless tears. I had thought that I would have run out of them by then. “Will you go away now? Please?”

“Tae tae, whatever you do, don’t let it affect your studies alright?”

“Yes, mum.” I had replied while wiping my tears away on the pillow, flipping over onto my back.

“I’m serious, Tae.”

“I know you are.”

“Good. And by the way, I left your dinner in the microwave oven. Heat it up if you feel like eating it later.” Tiffany then left my room, closing the door after her and I was still on my back with no sign of moving at all.

But she was right. I had studied so hard all these months for my grades. I could not afford to jeopardize my A levels (as if my dad would allow that to happen), not if I was to lose my girlfriend too. That would be pathetically stupid of me when I had already repeated a year. I was going to straighten out myself before Jessica decides to be on speaking terms with me again. And it would start with me ‘becoming human’ again, according to Tiffany, no more mopping around at home like a zombie. I had to go back to my preparations for the A levels too… shoot! I was way behind time in my revision plan…what have I gotten myself into?

“Hey, you’re back?”

Turning around, I saw Tiffany standing by the door.

“Done talking to your boyfriend?”

She nodded, smirking as she did so, making me scoff again as I turned back to my laptop.

“Dinner?” I asked, while shutting down the device.

“Yup. At the café across the street?” She suggested. 

“Fine with me. I have the feel for some lagsana anyway.”

__

“Taeyeon! Kim!”

I heard one of my friends from the study group calling after me but I pretended not to hear as I rushed out of school. Damn, it was getting tiring to avoid them after school but I was running out of excuses to not join them for study session and I was still not ready to be in the same room as Abby yet. Glancing over my shoulder after I turned the corner, I heaved a sigh of relief when I noticed that none of them had come after me.

“Woah! Kim, where are you going? Not joining us again?”

“Holy mama!” I gasped, literally walking straight into Evelyn. Argh! Why did she have to show up at this timing?

“Why are you so flustered?” She craned her neck, looking behind me. “Running away from something?”

“No!” I replied a tad bit too fast. “I mean no, I’m not running from anything and I’m not joining you guys today as well. Heh.” Scratching the back of my neck, I gave her an impish grin.

“You haven’t been joining us for weeks though. Are you sure you’re okay?” Frowning, she added, “You’re not avoiding us are you?” I frantically shook my head in response and her eyes narrowed. “You sure?” I gave her a nod. “Alright, if you say so…”

“I’ve got to go. I’m meeting someone and I’m running late.” I took a glance at my watch. “Sorry, will catch up with you guys some other time.”

“Okay, see you in school tomorrow then.”

“Yea, sure. Bye!”

And I took off running.

It was only after running past a few blocks did I realise what I was doing and I slowed down to normal walking pace. “Why the hell did I run when I could have just walk?” I must have gone bonkers.

“Fany, Fany, Fany~ I’m home~” I announced as soon as I opened the front door.

I noticed something was off just as I was about to take off my shoes. There was an extra pair of sneakers which belonged to neither of us and the size was too small for it to be her boyfriend’s. In fact, it looked vaguely familiar.

“Tae?” She called from the living room.

“We’ve got visitors?” I asked, shoving my shoes carelessly onto the shoe rack, making my way into the house. “Fany? Wha-… The hell is going on here?”

“Yep, we’ve got visitors.”

There was no way this was happening.

.

I had not moved an inch from where I was standing as soon as I realised who the visitor was.

“Taengoo-ah…”

“Pr-princess?” I stuttered.

What was she doing here? Taking a quick glance at Tiffany who just remained seated on the couch, I shifted my gaze back on Jessica. What was going on?

I should have been happy that she came, that she was right in front of me, but all I could feel at that moment was indescribable. A mix of emotions overwhelmed me- Confused? Definitely. Surprise? You bet. Hurt? Frustrated? Annoyed? I don’t know…you name it.

‘Drowning under piles and piles of assignments. You might want to come see for yourself…’

Tiffany’s words from yesterday flashed across my mind. I realised then that she was not talking about herself. I was wrong…it was not her boyfriend on the phone, it was Jessica.

‘So I’ll see you tomorrow? See you tomorrow…tomorrow…’

Her voice echoed in my head, making it hard for me to think.

‘Wait. That means that Tiffany was in contact with Jessica all along and she did not bother to tell me about it?’

I felt betrayed. Why did she not hand the phone over to me and let me talk to her? I thought she was helping me?

“Taengoo-ah.” Jessica called, taking a step forward.

“Stop! Don’t move!” The commanding tone in my voice startled me as well. “Don’t come near me.”

Why did I say that? It had been months since we were last this close to each other, weeks since I had last seen her face and talk to her- I should be running straight into her arms instead.

“Wh- what are you doing here?” My voice shook a bit, but I had hoped that no one would notice it.

“Surprise?” Tiffany offered.

Surprise? After 2 weeks of ignoring me? No emails, no text messages, no whatsapp and 48 missed calls? Surprise?

‘Fck, you must be kidding me.’

Hurt and anger mixed into one and I did the first thing that my reflexes told me to.

I ran, away from the person I had missed so much. Dropping my backpack on the ground, I grabbed my shoes, dashed out of the house and into the elevator, ignoring the voices calling for me.

Jessica’s sudden appearance made me felt like as if I was played. Was this some kind of twisted test again? Did they take me for a fool?

“Taeng! Taeng!”

Jabbing the ‘close’ button furiously, the lift doors closed, just in time before either of them managed to catch up with me.

As the metal box made it descend to the lobby, I quickly put on my shoes and when the doors opened again, I sprinted out with no destination in mind.

“Taeng!”

Damn, that was quick.

I pumped my legs even faster. Anywhere…as long as I was away from them.

PS. Editing to be done tomorrow, because I'm too lazy and mainly because I have to get out of the house in 5 minutes. Haha..Till the next time~