Taeyeon’s POV

Term break was over and before I knew it, I was in the exam hall, shivering as I tried to fill in my script as best as I could. The air conditioner was on full blast, which explained the shivering.

Damn the school. If they could afford blasting the aircon at the lowest temperature for hours during the exams period, why would they not allow students to use it for a few hours in the afternoon during the hottest season of the year?

The definition of specific latent heat. What was it again? ‘Crap, I’m so dead.’ There was an hour left till the end of physics paper and I was almost done with it, rather, what I actually knew anyway. Half of the paper was blank and I had no idea how to answer them.

I had only met up with Jessica once more for our study date for the past 2 weeks. Studying with her proved to be too much of a distraction. However, it was as good as studying at home, with the bed tempting me every few minutes. I ended up not studying much for the mid- years, with just about half the knowledge I should have. It would be enough to give me at least a pass, or so I thought.

Looking up at the huge digital clock right in front of the exam hall and realizing that I had 30 minutes left, I decided to put in random formulas, hoping that I would at least be able to score a few method marks here and there. The exam ended with me looking like I have just returned from the third world war.

The invigilators went down the line to collect the scripts from the students. Since there were many students taking that paper, it took a while for all the scripts to be accounted for. I took the time to look around me. Sunny was playing with her pen, spinning it. She would have nailed that paper since it was her strongest subject. Sooyoung, who was in front of me, had had her head down on the table. She had given up on the paper half way through. It was obvious from the way she threw her pen into her pencil case just an hour into the exam. Her head had been on the table ever since. I took comfort in the fact that at least someone would flunk the paper with me. Yuri and Yoona were behind me, so I could not see what they were doing; I would just have to ask them later.

“How was it Taeng?” Yuri asked as I walked towards her.

“Fine, I guess.” I lied, forcing a smile on my face.

“Really? I thought it was bad, couldn’t finish it.” Yoona came and joined our conversation.

Sooyoung and Sunny caught up with us and they started to discuss the paper. Sooyoung was bragging about how she left more than half the paper blank with Yuri and Yoona agreeing with her on how difficult the paper was. Sunny disagreed. I tuned out from their conversation, not wanting to hear anything to do with the paper anymore. I concentrated on making my way out of the exam hall and by the time I bid good bye to them with the excuse ‘I got to go, my mum’s meeting me for lunch.’ they were still going on about the physics paper, with no hint of stopping any time soon.

Sigh. I needed a distraction. I needed Jessica, who was not available at the moment. Her History exam was still going on. Whatever. I made my way home, without my princess. It had been like this for the past few days, we had different exams schedules. There was no paper for me the next day so I was thinking of taking a nap later, to sleep off this ty feeling I was having. Tomorrow would be a better day for me to study Economics; it was the last paper for mid- years. I would be in a better condition to study by then.

Who was I kidding?

I woke up late the next day with a huge headache.

“Argh…”I groaned, pressing my palm down on the side of my head, hoping to ease the pain.

It did not work.

I got off my bed and slowly made my way to the bathroom to wash up. Brunch was simple, just plain cereal and milk; I was not in the mood for eating. Setting the empty bowl aside, I took out my notes and begun to read up on demand and supply.

An hour had passed and I found myself staring at the same page, reading the same sentence over and over again. My brain did not absorbed a single information. I gave up. Throwing the notes aside, I made my way back to my bedroom for a nap, trying to convince myself that the headache would be gone soon.

It was my intention to get an hour nap but when I woke, it was already 5 in the evening. I did a mental calculation in my head. I had about 6 hours left for revision, minus diner time. It should be enough. The headache was gone, but it was replaced by a cloudy feeling in my head; a result of sleeping too long. I left the house for a walk downstairs, knowing that it would clear my mind and help my brain to start up again.

I took the time to check my whatsapp. It was flooded with messages during the time I was out. It was the gang, planning for an outing to celebrate the end of exams. Sooyoung and Yoona suggested going for a shabu shabu buffet in town. ‘They can make the decision; I’ll just go along with them.’ Two rounds around the pool and I was feeling better. Time for me to head back home to start on my revision.

I gained momentum 2 hours into it but it was soon broken when my parents came home from work, along with Hayeon who was picked up from my grandparents’ place on the way back. I would have found my little sister adorable whenever she zoomed around the house playing 'catching' with her dog plushie, normally, but not when I was studying for an exam. Hayeon ran into my room with that plushie, screaming at the top of her voice, now playing ‘airplane’ with it. That was it. It was the last straw.

“Get out.” I told her, my voice firm.

The hand holding the toy dog stopped mid-air. She turned and looked at me, confusion evident in her eyes.

“But…” she started.

“Get out.” I repeated raising my voice a little, my eyes darkened.

I regretted it immediately. Her eyes started to water. Don’t get me wrong. I love my little sister very much and could not even bear to scold her. But I was irritated and let my emotions got ahead of me. My eyes softened.

“Hey, I’m sorry alright. I’m trying to study, do you mind leaving for a while? I’ll play with you later.”

But the damage was done. She burst out in tears and ran out of my room. I could hear her complaining to my mother about me yelling at her in between sobs.

5…4…3…2…1…

My mum came into my room, as I predicted she would.

“Why did you raise your voice at your sister?” she questioned, but she was not angry.

I could see Hayeon hiding behind my mum, hugging her legs tightly.

“Mum! I was studying and…”

“Apologize to her, come out now. We’re having dinner.”

“But I already did!” I started to protest, however, she was already gone, leaving Hayeon at the door, sticking her tongue out at me.

‘Why, that little…’ I was getting irritated again.

“Aren’t you coming out?” My mum called from the living room.

‘Calm down Teang, calm down.’ I took a deep breath and started to make my way out.

I finished my dinner quickly; I wanted to return to my books as soon as possible. However, the incident with Hayeon earlier totally killed my mood for studying. Trying to memorize facts will not help in the exams tomorrow if I could not apply the concepts. Thus, I resorted to reading through model essays, trying to cramp everything into my head before turning in for the night.

I stared at the script but nothing came into my mind. I blanked out. This had not happened before, what was wrong with me? I started to panic, on the verge of hyperventilating.

‘Deep breathes. Relax. You can do it.’ I tried convincing myself.

Jessica was seating a few rows down. Economics was the only subject that we had in common. Just the sight of her had this soothing effect on me. I started to relax. 5 minutes passed and my breathing begun to slow down. That was a good sign; at least I will not start hyperventilating. It would be embarrassing if I had to be dragged out of the exam hall by the invigilators. I tried to read the question again.

‘Ok, this is easy, demand and supply. It’s common sense.’ I picked up my pen and started writing.

The exam ended in 2 hours. Though I had a bad start, I managed to complete my paper. It was the only paper I had confidence in. The invigilators started to collect our script. I was staring at Jessica’s back again. At that moment, she turned her head slightly and our eyes met.

“How was it” she mouthed to me.

I gave her an ‘ok’ sign and smiled.

“Stop talking, talking is not allowed in the exam hall. You are all old enough to understand instructions aren’t you?” a voice came through the speakers in the hall. It was that scrawny looking head of department again. I never liked him.

Jessica returned me a smile before turning back. I turned to look at Sunny who was seated right next to me again. She flashed me a grin, to which I returned. How I wish the invigilators would hurry up. It was the last paper after all and everyone was excited. The noise level started to increase due to all the whispering, which prompted the teachers to make the same announcement once more.

“Are you sure you’re going to finish all those food?” Sunny stared at Sooyoung in disbelieve.

Sooyoung and Yoona had both returned to the table with a plate stacked up with udon and another filled with vegetables. It was their second helping. We had already ordered 10 plates of chicken, 10 plates of pork and another 10 plates of beef, and there were only six of us. Jessica had joined us in our celebration since she was close with my gang, having joined us many times during break. After all it was the end of exams and everyone needed a break.

“Why not?” Yoona nodded in agreement.

“People are staring at us. It’s a buffet, but the way the both of you are eating, it seems like you haven’t eaten for days.” Yuri joked.

“I swear that they are going to remember the both of you and give you a time limit to eat the next time you come.” I added in.

Yoona whined, clearly offended by our remarks.

“Hey stop pouting. You look like a big baby.” That was Sunny.

She hated Yoona’s cutness, which was an irony. Sunny was the one overflowing with aegyo most of the time.

We managed to finish all the food, which was a relief or we would have to pay additional charges for food wastage. Sunny and Sooyoung decided to go home to catch up on sleep while Yuri and Yoona had a movie to watch. It was just Jessica and me now. Finally. It seemed like a long time ago since we were both alone together. It was still early, so we decided to walk around the shopping mall. Without thinking, I took her hand in mine. Her eyes met mine, eye brows raised.

“Why? Best friends hold hands too don’t they?” trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.

“Nothing. I kinda like it.” She replied, smiling at me.

The blood rushed up to my face again and I hoped she had not notice it. It felt good to have her hand in mine though; it just felt so right, like they were meant to fit each other.

“How were the rest of the papers?” It was that question again. The very one that I have avoided for the past few days.

I hesitated for a moment before answering her.

“They were alright I suppose. How did you do?”

Truth to be told, it was a lie. It was not okay, everything was not. I was pretty sure I had flunked Physics and probably Math too. I might make it for Chemistry and I would definitely pass Economics and General Paper. But would it be enough for me to pass overall? I did not want to think about results now, not when the exams were just over; I would worry about it later.

Jessica’s POV

Taengoo took my hand in hers as soon as we were left alone. That was new. We had never held hands before. It was a new experience and it made my heart flutter.

“Why? Best friends hold hands too don’t they?” She asked.

“Nothing. I kinda like it.” And I gave her a smile.

I meant it. Every single word. It was nice. I wish she would do it more often.

We walked around the mall hand in hand making small conversation now and then. Usually I would be excited especially when I was in such a huge shopping mall. But today was different. Nothing in the shops caught my attention. I was so focused on the hand that was in hers, liking the feeling of the skin to skin contact.

--

Taeyeon’s POV

A week passed and the exams scripts were returned to us. Just as I expected, I flunked both Math and Physics miserably, barely passing both Chemistry and Economics. General Paper was slightly better but it was not enough for me to clear. I was so close, just a few more rank points. Yoona cleared her mid- terms, barely. The rest failed, Sunny as well, surprisingly. Oh well, the final exams carries a higher percentage. I would just have to pass it to get promoted. Nonetheless, it affected me. I was not used to failing and this was a first. I had only myself to blame, if only I had not procrastinated. I wondered how I would break the news to my parents. They will be called in for a ‘meet the parents’ session definitely, I could imagine their disappointment.

Time went by slowly in school today, at least for me. Sooyoung did not seem upset by her results though Yuri and Sunny was quitter than usual. Yoona was being careful around them, knowing that it was not the best time for pranks today. I was being my usual dorky self, though I was bothered by the results; I did not want to make my feelings obvious, too proud to let them know that I was feeling down. I met up with Jessica at the gate and bid farewell to them.

“Are you okay? You seemed out of it.” Jessica noticed. I have to do a better job at covering up my emotions then.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” I assured her, grinning.

She did not seem convinced.

“I’m serious. I’m okay, really.” A huge smile was plastered on my face; I made sure that the smile would reach my eyes.

“I heard about it, from Yoona…You know. It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it.” She was being careful, afraid to offend me I guess.

“It’s nothing, there’s still the promotional exams. I’ll just have to pass it. Let’s not talk about this shall we? It’s getting depressing.”

“Okay then.”

I took her hand in mine again. We were getting used to it by now. I held on a little tighter, trying to feel her warmth. It made me felt better, just a little. Enough to distract me for the time being, it was what I needed most at that moment; a distraction.

The ride home was as usual. The topic of results was not brought up again. I was grateful towards her for that; I needed to be away from reality for a while. It was time to say good bye to her before I knew it and I was reluctant to let her go. I needed the comfort that I found in her.

“Take care, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She pecked my cheek.

I froze, shoulders tensed.

“Don’t be sad okay, I’ll be right here if you needed someone to talk to.” I managed a weak smile.

“I love you.” she said, staring into my eyes.

“I love you too.” It came out as a whisper.

For some reasons, I wanted to cry. I had built up a wall of defense around me and just a simple ‘I love you’ had it crumbling down. I would not allow myself to break down, not in front of her. I willed myself to hold the tears in. She let go of my hand and left after one last good bye. She was gone and so was the comfort that I felt when she was here.

Hi! I'm back with chapter 4, it's probably the longest I've ever written, I hope you enjoy it. I don't think I'll be able to update tomorrow though, I'll be out the whole day. But i promise that I'll start on the next chapter once I've got time and hopefully update it the day after. Have fun reading(: