Chapter 48:  10:41– A Countdown to Third Death [1:19pm]

Seungho POV

Twelve hours have passed. That much I could trust from the Ringmaster’s mouth. He was right in saying that not only had we passed the half-way point of our seven-leveled ordeal, but we were more than half way through out twenty four hour countdown. Whether or not we should be idling away the hours in a bath still sent niggling doubts down my spine. But Mir needed the break, and so did Thunder.

And maybe me more than anyone else.

The Ringmaster’s words dug deeper than I would like to admit. Talent and resolve, two keys, and both of which I seemed to lack.

I lifted one cupped hand and watched as the cloudy bath water leaked through my fingers, trailing a translucent path down my wrist. My skin was perfect: baby smooth and un-calloused. A complete contrast to Thunder’s rough touch and Mir’s scarred wrists. Thunder and Mir were growing closer and I drifting further. The differences between us were becoming more and more apparent, and it was scaring me more and more.  Even the blueprints of our bodies seem to argue so.

“Hyung!” a bright call chirped through the mist. I looked up just in time to see a shadowy figure slide into the water, sending ripples outwards to where I was seated at the far end of the bath, shrouded in mist.

My eyes widened with horror. I didn’t need to see who it was to figure out the owner of the voice. “Thunder!” I yelped. “You can’t come in here!”

 “Why not?” Thunder whined, wading closer despite my exclamation.

My mouth seemed to grow dry as I watched his figure grow clearer. He wasn’t wearing clothes of course. Of course. Take a deep breath Seungho. It’s just clothes. Just no clothes. Just-

He was leanly cut, tall and muscular, subtly defined but not overtly so.

There was a bright gleam in his eyes.

He was expecting an answer.

“Ah, um b-because I’m not used to seeing other people ,” I confessed.

Thunder halted. “Oh…” he said, sounding rather like a balloon slowly deflating. “So…you want me to go?”

I sighed, closing my eye and massaging my temples. “No Thunder I’m sorry. It’s a…personal thing. But um, maybe if you sit over there where I can’t see you it should be okay. We can still talk that way.”

“Okay!” Thunder said, suddenly cheery and he splashed his way to the opposite end of the bath. Only when the vibrations of the water stilled did I deem it safe to open my eyes.

“What happened with Mir?” I asked, wondering what had possessed the young boy to seek out my company rather than the brown-haired boy who seemed to be closer in age and personality to him. There was a soft silence, broken only by the sound of water pumping out from pipes somewhere in the vast space of the room and bubbles popping.

“Mir needed some time alone,” Thunder finally said quietly.

I sensed there was a greater story behind that statement but left it be. “He’s alright alone?” I asked to make sure.

Thunder hummed. “Yes hyung. He’s fine. He’s just…a little upset with me…”

Mir? Upset with Thunder?

“Why?” I questioned.

I sensed rather than saw Thunder’s demeanor darken.

“Tell me what happened Thunder.”

Thunder exhaled harshly. The water rippled as he kicked out viciously. “Mir’s suspicious of me. He thinks I could be the wolf.”

Alarms sparked. “What? Why? Didn’t you clear up the situation with him?!”

“I tried hyung,” Thunder murmured. “But he wonders why I can use hacking so well. I wonder that myself sometimes… It’s not like I want to be good at it.”

My heart twisted for him. “Thunder-“

But he cut me off. “Aren’t you suspicious of me as well hyung?” he asked in an strangled tone. It sounded strained and hard.

“Suspicious of you being the wolf?” I asked a little uncertainly.

“Yeah.”

It was my turn to exhale harshly.

I wasn’t sure what exactly to tell Thunder. The truth? That yes, I had suspected him on multiple occasions. That I couldn’t help it, that I was cautious by nature and there were only five of us – six if you included the Ringmaster – that could be included in the equation and one by one we were dying, leaving more prominent suspects in the spotlight. That right now he was one of the prime culprits and as much as I didn’t want him to be so I couldn’t be biased. Not when lives were at stake. And that above all what made him suspicious was exactly what Mir was accusing him for?

Hacking.

Goddamn Hacking.

This thing was turning everything I thought I had figured out on its heads.

“You don’t need to speak hyung,” Thunder said softly. “I can guess what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that Mir is right, that me being able to use hacking so quickly is suspicious. That how can I use it so well when you can’t at all.”

I flinched.

A clean cut to the heart of the matter.

“Oh Thunder, I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m just jealous aren’t I?”

“Jealous?” Thunder said in a surprised tone.

“Yeah,” I said. The more I spoke the more it felt right. Jealous little me. “You and Mir are so alike. I’m not. It’s like looking at day and night, that’s how different the two of us are. I’m jealous that you two can use hacking and I can’t. It’s like I’m … lagging behind or something.”

Thunder burst out laughing.

And I had not been expecting that.

“H-hyung,” he chortled. “Jealous? I can’t believe you just said that!”

“Huh? Why?” I said feeling more than a little stung.

“Because,” he said, still laughing. “You’re like our leader. You’re perfect. And then you break it to me that you feel jealous!”

Perfect.

That one word reverberated in my mind, bouncing back and forth and echoing over and over again.

“Perfect?” I managed to say. “Me?!”

I was anything but.

Thunder stopped. “Of course you are. In my eyes at least,” he said simply and I felt a hot flush run through my chest.

You’re just not used to praise Seungho. This means nothing. Perfect is normal. Exceeding the norm is what is expected of you.

Thunder was still speaking, ignorant of my current state of mine. “So okay our first meeting wasn’t the greatest. I thought you were a little quiet and a bit of a giver-upper. But then you changed. It was like you had taken off your mask and were revealing your true colors. You were brave, you were confident, you knew how to lead us and how to organize us. You were like a light of beacon on a dark, snowy night and I was safe so long as I followed you all the way home.”

Okay. Now the flush was receding and instead turning into a warm, heady feeling that fluttered in my chest.

“Seungho-hyung,” Thunder breathed and I suddenly realized that Thunder had stood up and was getting closer and closer. “You are perfect. So what if you can’t use hacking, it doesn’t lessen you at all in my mind.”

I in a deep breath as Thunder’s figure cut its way through the mist. I could see him properly now: dark eyes and body twined in dripping water.

“T-thunder…” I tried to say, tried to stop him and reason with the mess of emotions in my head. “I-“

He kept coming closer. I could see the pink lines of his lips, the only spot of color against his dark, dark eyes and his pale, pale skin. He them once, twice, all sweet nervousness as he continued to speak. It was another flash of vivid color in this monochromatic world of mine.

“You have no reason to be jealous hyung,” he whispered and suddenly he was right in front of me, and I was looking up at him looking down on me. “Never ever ever.”

“Thunder…” I managed to say.

“Yes hyung?” he said softly as he sunk back into the water. It rushed into my chest and slopped up to my collar bones. The space between the two of us less than a meter, the only barrier being water.

 I tried to calm my racing heart.

He blinked twice, the water clinging to his eyelash gleaming under the gentle bath lights.  

“Do I really deserve to be your hyung?” I asked feverently.

The edge of Thunder’s lips quirked upwards into a smile. He chuckled. “Hyung,” he said in an amused tone. “Do you really think I’d still be calling you hyung elsewise?”

A chuckle escaped my mouth. “Sometimes Thunder,” I said. “I think you’re the perfect one.”

Thunder’s eyes flashed, unfathomable darkness pooled there. He inched closer and I didn’t stop him.

“Thunder…?” I said again, the words slipping out without me even realizing it. It was as if we were in outer space and everything was floating, floating, floating, without a care.

“Yes hyung?” he replied, equally as softly.

My heart just couldn’t be calmed.

“Can I kiss you?” I asked in a half-cracked whisper.

Thunder’s lips curved into a smile and he slid forwards until his nose was touching mine. I could feel his breath against mine, sharp and irregular. I could almost taste it-

“Of course you can hyung,” he said, mouthing the words against my skin and I leaned forwards, slotting our two halves together as one.

* 

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