Chapter 22: 19:35 – A Countdown to First Death [04:25am]

Joon POV

At the first touch of those lips, my brain went into overdrive. Electricity ran through my nerves and thoughts swarmed my head like a nest of termites, questioning: what was Mir doing? Was he kissing me? Of course he was kissing me idiot, but why? And just after he slapped me? Why did he slap me? And-

And then the kiss deepened, Mir’s hands on my shirt pulling me in closer. My brain short circuited and I was thinking at all. Everything became instinctual.

My hands – no longer trembling for fear, but for a very different reason – s around the back of Mir’s neck. I felt the coolness of his skin and the prickle of short hair standing up. I was tilting my head to get a better angle on the kiss and his nose was rubbing against my, irresistibly so. Our lips moved in sync and my hand was sliding downwards, under his shirt and up his arms and-

I broke away, throwing myself backwards.

My face must have been bright red then, my eyes wide and my breath heavy as I tried to regain the lost oxygen. Mir stared back at me, as if he couldn’t believe the audacity of what he had just done. Then there was the smallest flicker of a curl to the edge of his lips and he leaned backwards, sitting down and let out a sigh that developed into a chuckle and then a short laugh.

I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. That one kiss had changed everything.

One hand moved to touch my lips and they felt tender. I wondered how red they were.

“M…ir?” I hesitantly broke the silence. My head was fuzzy, too overloaded with thoughts and I could not understand why he had just done that. Or why I had responded so eagerly… “That was…”

Mir raised his head shyly. It was like all his vivaciousness had vanished, a dark critter that only came out on moonless nights. It was like seeing an entirely new side of the boy.

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry,” he said a little mulishly.

I let out a laugh, a smile coming to my lips. Then I winced. Ouch. The slap. “I wasn’t going to ask for one,” I said, the corners of my mouth still lifting.

“Oh,” he blinked owlishly. “Well good then.”

“But I’m going to ask why you slapped me,” I raised an eyebrow. The throbbing pain was returning and the kiss had not helped the bleeding. I pulled the bottom of my shirt upwards to staunch its flow and then saw Mir’s eyes greedily tracing the outlines of my abs and form.

“Mir!” I scolded him and he looked up, a little red. “Explain.”

“You were panicking,” he offered nonchalantly. I felt like I had heard those words before… “Seriously hyung,” he gave me a dark stare. “You were rambling about possibly being the wolf and everything.”

That train of thought suddenly came back and the smile vanished off my face. “It’s possible Mir,” I said seriously. “The ringmaster said our pasts were what made us the wolf. What if my anger at Byunghee was so great that I killed people, and may kill more?”

“And what if you’re innocent hyung,” Mir argued, his chin lifting arrogantly and his eyes narrowing. “Because I don’t believe you’re capable of killing someone hyung.”

“Mir!” I raised my hands hopelessly. “You didn’t see what I did! I attacked Byunghee in the maze! I nearly strangled him!” I showed him my hands, white as always, as if there was some hope he could see the crimes I had committed scrawled over in red ink. 

Instead he pouted. “Hyung,” he said churlishly. “You did that because you were angry. Because you only remembered bits and pieces of your past, correct?”

I nodded. “Well, yes-“

“And you stopped after G.O tried to explain to you his side of the story?”

I stared at him. “Well Seungho had to break us up and the Ringmaster changed the stage…but how did you know?”

“I saw the whole thing via a hologram,” Mir shrugged. "I saw you and G.O and Seungho fighting. I’m guessing Thunder saw it. It was like watching a movie. And then, when the stages changed, it tossed me into those red audience chairs. And I wanted to go to you...but I was cuffed to the chairs. I could do nothing but watch..." he looked down sadly. 

Like a movie… Like watching a theater. Cuffed to the chairs. I had wondered where Mir had been. 

Mir got to his feet, brushing the dust off his pants and slowly walked over. His eyes were latched onto me as he lowered himself to his knees and raised one hand to my cheek – the sore one. His cool hand soothed it and my mouth automatically fell open in a sigh of relief.

“Hyung,” he whispered, voice quiet and serious. “You stopped after you remembered. You realized that G.O didn’t abandon you. And then became worried that you – you of all people – might be the wolf. And you weren’t worried because we might think you a danger and stay away from you, or even worse, kill you. You weren't worried about that at all,” Mir shook his head, a secretive smile on his face. “You were worried about us!”

“Huh?”

His smile grew wider. “See you pabo. You don’t even realize it. You were worried about us getting hurt rather than yourself. You king of all pabos, you can’t be the wolf! You care about us all too much to be able to kill us.”

“But…I nearly killed-“

“Shush!” he scolded me. “Nearly doesn’t equate to actually doing so.”

“But-“

“Shush!” he straightened up and gave me a stern look.

“What is more important now is what you are going to do.”

“I…” I didn’t know what I was going to do. But I couldn’t run away anymore. It solved nothing. I gripped Mir’s hand, trying to absorb courage and warmth from his goodness. “I’ll go back and talk to Byunghee. I’ll try to sort things out.”

Mir’s face cracked into a bright smile.

He leaned forwards and kissed me again. It was a light kiss, but it sent a flicker of warmth through me. I never thought I would feel this way…ever… Never thought it was possible in this world of darkness for there to be light. 

Then Mir stood back up and held a hand out to me. I took it tentatively, but his hands grasped mine tightly and pulled me up.

“You’ve always known what to do,” he said softly. “Now go.” He turned me around and pushed me back in the direction I had come. “Go do what you must.”

I nodded and took a step forwards.

“Oh and Joon,” Mir said. I stopped and turned. “Tell me what your real name is?”

I was a little surprised at his request. Had I not told him already? Reviewing what I had said, I guess I hadn’t. I gave him a crooked grin. “Lee Changsun.”

As if I hadn’t already been bewitched by his various smiles, this one blew me away. I swear the kid wore his heart on his sleeve because I could read love and happiness and joy on his face.

“Well then Changsun,” he said, rolling my name on his tongue that made my stomach plunge into butterflies and daisies. “Let me tell you one thing.”

“What?” I my dry lips and ignored the throb of pain from my left cheek.

“Even if you don’t believe you’re not the wolf, I believe so.”

“How come?” I couldn’t understand where he got his steadfast belief from. His whimsical conclusions that I cared about them more than I did for myself was still a little hard to accept.

Mir flashed me another smile, no teeth this time, but there was a cheeky lilt to the edges. “Becaue I believe in you Changsun,” he grinned. I shook my head in defeat. I would never be able to get a decent answer out of him. I turned.

“Oh, and also because I love you.”

I stopped. Turned again and stared hard at Mir. Had I heard what I had just heard?

“Mir?”

His back was to me. “Go!” he ordered, one hand pointing towards the stage. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

I smiled and turned, walking away.

“Hey Mir,” I called out. I heard him skid to a stop. “I love you too you silly kid.”

He hiccupped in surprise and I had to squash a silly little grin.

“Well!” I heard him turn and shout back. “I love you more!”

It was too hard to stop the laughter now. And I saw no reason in hiding it. I let loose the laughter and it flew out on golden wings. I threw him a wave in goodbye and stepped back under those bright lights.

I had no fear in my heart for I knew no matter what, I would have Mir behind me.

It was time to right some wrongs.