Hi!

A double update for today! PHEW!! TGIF~

Thank you all for your kind comments and also the subscriptions! *bows*

Special thanks to @devilia_gayoel and... I think I just lost track! Anyhow, thank you for your first comment on this fic! Also... for the other readers that I haven't mentioned before! Thank you for reading and commenting!! *bows*

I have to apologise because there is a fast forward here... since I have crossed the line with the numbers of chapters! I sincerely hope that I don't lose anyone along the course of this two chapters! Do clarify if the need arises!

Also, I had to write this here! Thank you, TVXQ (Homin), for doing this comeback song!! "CATCH ME!!" That song is on replay whenever I need the adrenaline rush for writing! Changmin!! I will never get tired of your screaming!!! You can go higher next time! Anytime!!

I was so tempted to put 'catch me if you wanna' for the titles! Wahahaha!

**@Sylvia14!!

I am going to declare my love for you feelings here. LOL. Kidding!

Hi ya babe! Fighting for your studies if you are reading this update too!! Thank you for always commenting even though you are super beesee!! You keep me going... and I get sad whenever I think that the end is somewhere ahead... so I am prolly going to start writing another saeguk soon. Will brainstrom and break from my own norm the next time around, in case you get bored!! *hugs*

Anyhoo, that's all of my ranting! My fanfic producing engines are all raved up with the ending of this blood- modules in school!! Assignments be gone!

Ciao~xoxo

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Back in the north… a day later…

“You! Get up!” A single prison guard enters a freezing cell holding the rebel troop’s leader and orders the man to move from where he is lying. The man ignores the guard and continues napping with his face buried in the dirty piece of cloth beneath his head, which is what used to be his cape.

“You heard me! Up!” The soldier then went over and nudged the general roughly, with a foot, pushing the man’s arm while he covers his face with the cape. As if hiding from the tough reality of the situation, the man just shut himself out totally.

“Sir Yunho wants to have a word with you. We are bringing you back to the capital.” With this, the man immediately sits up and looks the other party in the eye, willing the person to give him more details. Most importantly, the general wants to know if his younger brother have already awakened, and also, if his uncle is still well, even though he will have to face the man he detests so much.

“We will leave when the guards are ready.” The prison guard rolled his eyes and left.

Clambering up to his feet, the fallen general winced as he gathers his cape again and tries to walk with the stabbing pain in his ankle and technically everywhere else. Yoochun had done some considerable damage to him after all that tussling, but nothing is going to stop the man from seeing his family again.

Yunho has plans to propose a patch up session between Junho and Yoochun, since the king had kindly agreed to make up with the enemy. The king knows he is the one to screw up this time, and he promises Yunho he will willingly fix everything for Junsu’s sake. Yunho wishes to use this chance to make sure that there will be no regrets in the future.

No one can foresee what might happen between the two at loggerheads if Junsu ever passes on.

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POV from Yunho

Though so much has happened over the past year, and despite everything, I think that everything will get better after winter this year. For Chun at least. BUT, that’s only if Junsu comes to. I have faith in Jaejoong. He will be able to help. He is the final and only best thing around… and that’s the reason why I have fallen so hard. His ability appeals to me as much as his entire being does.

If only he will be as open towards me. He doesn’t hesitate to help others… why not me? I have a fluttering heart to cure tpp, and that’s entirely his fault! Am I not worth his time? I wonder what he will do if I am to fall sick one day. Will he gloat? Will he be as worried? Will the messiah mentality come in?

Also, I still don’t know much about how Jaejoong feels… pertaining to what happened that night. He isn’t saying much, as usual, though he appears more withdrawn…

He was hysterical when he woke up and spotted me beside him… but he subsequently toned down… and to the extent of not daring to speak at all. I think my method of oppression worked… and I think I managed to make him a little bit more obedient. Less egoistic maybe? But I highly doubt the long term efficacy of this strategy. Should I continue like this?

Allowing lust and desperation in its purest form to rear their ugly heads wasn’t the best option… and so I concluded… since he just ended up becoming more terrified of me than I want him to be. I have resorted to despicable means… but he is too precious to me! I want and need him to know that… but how do I get him to listen at all?! Even after an abject surrender, he still sees me in an equally bad light. We remain neither here nor there… and it is exhausting.

I can only hope that our relationship don’t continue spiralling further downhill. There has to be a way to halt the deterioration! I just need to know how! I have tried everything! Sweet talk. Tender loving care. Coercion. . The scale just skews more negatively.

Anyhow, we started off on the wrong foot, and I have known since then that he is not an easy figure to deal with. Then I got a taste of how ‘potent’ he really is. We were moving on fine when I first held him captive… but that period of bonding did not bring our relationship anywhere either. We were just… chat partners… and he would never talk about himself. Ever.

So when I finally reached the stage of no return… wretched and having enough of his endless rejections… I blew the gentleman cover. He just ends up becoming the broken victim of my deplorable acts. I broke him… thoroughly. His dignity… I took it. His pride and ego… I demolished them. His fighting spirit… I robbed him of it…

He just went down fighting… so hard. He even implored me with such despair that my heart hurts!! I really don’t want to hurt him, but he doesn’t give me much of a choice.

Why can’t I have him!? This is unfair! How come Chun has it so easy!? I sure have a good eye for trouble… and a great taste bud for the spiciest spice on earth. Kim Jaejoong. How do I enter you… without really entering you?

He is a poison that I can never rid myself of. I stopped being myself the very moment we interacted, acting like a babo time and again… even betraying my best friend. Then, I lost myself the moment I got a chance to hold him, and now, I can’t abstain from touching him. I believe that, in the long run, I am just going to degrade my morals and principles further, in an attempt to claim him as my own.

I have a vague idea, as to what I must do now though…

Thinking about it… I should have nipped the problem at the bud. I was too reckless… always considering what I want instead of what I need to do. I was too rash and impatient. I should have sourced out the reasons why he hates me so much to begin with… and fix the glitches in our relationships from the very beginning.

But then again, how do I know if he doesn’t say? Here is when I start feeling like an idiot. The key lies with Junho. I can actually find out more about Jaejoong’s background from the guy… and save us all this running around in circles.

The root cause of all this problems is the need for power and the unwillingness to relinquish it. I should’ve come to that conclusion earlier… then we won’t end up like this. Junsu being hurt… Chun being a big baby… the infant being a brat… and me having to tie up the loose ends and regretting taking the wrong step.

It’s time to make things right again.

God! Please grant me one more move in this game. If Jaejoong can reverse this situation and Junsu will wake up again, I swear to place everything back where they belong. Chun and I will stop messing around with your arrangements! If I am ultimately fated to let go of this unintended bond between me and him, I promise I will try my best. Please just give me a sign.

Though I have absolutely no idea why the north’s conquer would leave behind such aftermath whereas the rest of the other conquers are so smooth sailing, I will no longer question what is foreordained. Is it truly the heaven’s will that we leave the northern parts alone? Is it because Chun’s appa isn’t approving as he watches his son from above?

I choose to think that it is fate that brought all of us together… but I am having second thoughts about that saying. Junsu was brought to Chun in the worst possible way… but they managed to work it out. Jaejoong was brought to me under similar circumstances as well… but we are experiencing so much turbulence and turmoil. It is starting to seem to me that Jaejoong was never part of the heaven’s plans for me.

Then there was Changmin… who despite every ups and downs, manages to survive a kidnap, the harsh waters… and a bloodbath. This child will be a fighter when he grows up... with great parents to watch over him.

But what about me and him? Will there ever be something for me and him to call our own, like how Chun and Junsu calls Changmin their own?

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Four months later…

“Changmin ah! Come to appa!” A man tries to lure his son over with ‘pleasantries’ and the smell of warm food as the baby tumbles around on the soft grass, in the garden. Winter is almost over, and the bloom is arriving with spring, with fresh flora sprouting in the muddy beds while the servants in the palace try to unclutter the snow blanketed pathways and pavilions.

“Good boy!” The man continued as he holds the baby upright with a hand while the teething baby stares hungrily at the baby food in the tiny golden bowl dedicated to him. The father beams proudly as the smart baby opens his mouth, indicating his interest in the mashed up contents inside. “That’s my good boy!! Don’t bite your umma later alright?”

Of late, the child’s mother have been complaining that the baby is starting to bite, so the father is hoping that he can stuff the baby’s face before his daily dose of additional limited edition nutritional intake. The baby is a hungry baby, always after his father and mother for the sole reason of feeding, but growing up into a healthy chubby babe.

“Chunnie! Don’t give him too much of that! He will become too full!” A small figure emerges from inside the building and makes his way over to the pair as the older man struggles to extract the silver spoon from his son’s jaws.

“Just look at him!! It’s no wonder the love bites he gives you are worse than the ones I give you!” The disgruntled man replies as he rubs the baby’s cold cheeks to warm them, since the baby’s body temperature is starting to drop with him rolling all over the ground like a ball of cuteness he already is.

The smaller person smiles sweetly but does not say much. Bending down beside the crouching man to pick the baby up, the other giggles as the baby coos at him. “Minnie ah! Want proper lunch?” The person spoke with a melodious tiny voice as he the baby’s soft hair.

Putting the bowl in his hands onto the ground, the man migrated both hands around his wife’s waist from behind and pulls the person close, nuzzling his face into the smaller person’s slender nape as he rubs  his own cleanly shaved face along the smooth skin there. Then, reaching to caress the faint scar running down from the edge of the left brow to the left temper, the bigger man examines it and plants a kiss there while the person inside of his embrace turns around to look at him.

“I thought I was going to lose you… You have no idea how afraid I was.” The man breathes into the person’s ears and the person giggles again. The man’s warm breath is ticklish, but the tone in the voice is serious and his words are heart felt. The baby watches on disapprovingly as his parents frolic, since he does not like to feel left out. So, in a bid to attract their attention, he sinks his short stubby fingers into the bowl of baby food, tipping the bowl over.

“Chunnie! Look at Minnie!” The mother spots the baby playing with his food and immediately breaks off from the father to tend to the child. The older man sulks and orders for a fresh towel delivery to clean the baby up while the mischievous boy digs at the grub and soil himself further.

“Tsk! Great timing you naughty naughty!” The man chided the baby the moment he had the chance to, when the mother is busy fetching the towel from the approaching maids. The baby gurgles evilly and the man can feel shudders running down his spine.

“WAAHHHHHHH!!!” With immediate effect, the evil glint disappears as the baby forces out the stored crocodile tears, moistening his huge eyes to look all helpless and innocent.

“Chunnie! Why did you make him cry?”

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Meanwhile… in a residence nearby…

“Is the pressure enough over here?” A beautiful person, seated behind an old man asks as he presses both knuckles on the man’s parietal region, long slender fingers buried beneath the old man’s white hair as he proceeds with the second round of massaging. The old man adores the younger one, and dotes on him like his own son.

“This will help ease the tension. You get headaches often right?” The person asked again, smiling as the old man chuckles and pats his hand.

“That’s enough. Go get some rest my dear boy.” The old man speaks finally, resting his palm on top of one of the younger man’s, indicating for him to stop. “I will be fine with the medicine you prescribe.” The man reassured gleefully and took a sip off his teacup.

Slowly, the younger man made his way back to sitting beside the older man and got busy with his brush, scribbling onto a piece of parchment as he considers the dosage. Watching the younger one work hard on his mini essay, the older man can’t help but notice that the previously radiant person, from just a month back, is losing the healthy glow.

“Jaejoong ah. Your auntie and I have been wondering if you are fine. You look ill.” The old man started the ball rolling, intending to ask this question some time back but unable to since they never really got to spend any alone time together. The healer frowns a little and cups his cheeks, glancing questioningly at the old man. “I feel fine.”

“Have Yun been mistreating you?” The older man inquires and the healer immediately stiffens. Nevertheless, forcing a bitter smile, the person shook his head as he rearranges everything back into his basket before making his way out of the main residential area, turning down the elder’s offer to dine together with the family.

Spreading his footsteps wide apart, the healer hurriedly retreats back to his room and locks the door behind him before the ‘bodyguard’ tailing can do the job for him. Yunho had kindly moved out of the small quarter in view of their ‘worsening relationships’, but though the advisor is not physically there, there is a guard assigned to follow him around every minute of every day. Yunho still is watching him even though Jaejoong does not really see him around often anymore.

As though giving them a ‘cooling off period’ before ‘separation’, Yunho claims to be weaning himself off Jaejoong, and even promised the healer that he will let him go if they are truly not meant to for one another. Jaejoong is hopeful, though he has no idea what Yunho means by that. By cooping himself up obediently, the healer feels that as long as he does not remind Yunho of his existence, they will eventually drift apart.

Settling down on his bed, the healer can longer ignore the fatigue that had been plaguing him for the past month or so. Laying down and curling up into a foetal position, the healer almost fell asleep again, the moment his head hit the soft bed linen, had he not pried his own eyes apart to read through the literature he had brought back to his room, from Yunho’s library, about the symptom.

The advisor had recently shipped in countless medicinal books from the royal library, just for his sake, and the healer no longer feels bored in lock up.

in a deep breath, the healer decided to face the facts that he is probably suffering from an ailment and he has to deal with it. The reason he was hesitant before is partially due to the denial and fear of the unknown. Jaejoong does not believe that the symptoms are an indicator of anything serious, but he is aware that he is getting more tired as the days go by, to an alarming extent. He can usually go on for hours, treating massive bleeds and gaping wounds, but now, even writing a prescription can drain him of his stored energy.

However, it is unusually difficult for him to admit that he himself is ill even though he is always dishing out diagnosis to others without batting an eyelid.

Forcing himself up from the bed, the healer dragged himself across the room and sat by the table to pour himself a cup of water, to calm the nerves. Then, lifting a finger shakily and resting both finger pads on the pulsation at his radial, the healer expires once more before determining the patterns.

Then, gasping loudly, the healer leapt off the chair he was seated on and scrambles to gulp down one more cupful of water, almost choking as he finds the liquid somehow stuck at the back of his throat. Sitting down again after he is calmer, the healer tried the pulse on both wrists this time, pressing so hard that his ulnar and radial are marked with finger indentations, nail beds whitening due to the pressure he is applying.

“NO!!!” Letting out a terrified cry, the healer quickly pressed a hand onto his abdomen, hands shivering visibly as he sweats bullets, tearing up a little as he struggles to cope with the new shocking discovery. “No no no no!!” Yelling in anguish again, he paces back and forth the work space before dashing into the comfort of his bedroom, burying his head under the sweet smelling bedsheets, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

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POV from Jaejoong

Thankfully, I did manage to make Junsu come back around four months ago, but my life hadn’t taken a turn for the better even though I saved him.

That bastard claims that he had asked that my sins to be pardoned, where I am guilty of kidnapping the crown prince… and since that other bastard agrees that I be given some credit, I am still alive.

Hell! I am the uncle! I have all the rights do whatever I did! It was all for the better good of mankind and Junsu!

This is also the reason why I have absolutely no idea if I should be feeling relieved or upset, since I am still caged up and treated like an exiled prisoner. I don’t remember doing anything so condemnable…

At least I have something to be glad about nowadays. That is, everything is more or less back to how it was before. That other bastard had recently made a pact to stop fighting with that meathead nephew of mine, and my burdens are finally lessened. I believe the both of them have learnt their lessons… and I hope they can keep it up for Junsu’s sake. They better do.

As for me, I am just living my life day by day, again. He doesn’t feed me anymore of that poison… and he hadn’t hit me or forced me to perform any lewd acts with him for all this time, so I hope he can keep it up as well. Possible? I really don’t know. I still don’t know how I will react if he wants to get again. I suggest he stay away forever.

Anyhow, ever since that incident, I haven’t been able to face him squarely… and it’s not as though I did something wicked or reprehensible! HE is the one at fault… yet I am the one who is getting all the unnecessary persecution! I don’t get why I don’t fight back either!

Why the hell am I so scared of him anyway?? What did I do to deserve all this?? I was just another stranger had he not picked on me and made my life a living hell!! This is so frustrating!! There is a whole country populated with women and men alike, yet he HAD to choose me… to torture me like I owe him something in the past life or something!

Then, just when I thought my life will get better… since he appears to have finally got what I meant when I say I will never fall for him… for some reason… THIS has to happen.

I think I am in trouble.

Come to think of it… I was already starting to feel all sick and weak since a few weeks ago. Shouldn’t have ignored the symptoms!! Oh my god… what do I do now?!

How many months is it now?! I have to get rid of it!! Think Jaejoong!! Think!!! What can I take?!

I have to salvage the situation!! I am THIS close to leaving him!! I have come a long way!! For this gruelling four months!! I am NOT about to screw up!

TBC

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