Hi!

TGIF YO~ TGFJS YO~ TGFJYJ YO~ TGFeveryone YO~

"Uncommitted..." *Ignore this line*, I was just singing along, with 'ear-mangling' results.

Another part-Yoosu chapter... I apologise for being so draggy even though I have fast forwarded the timeline a little there! The fun is about to begin! Hope you will join me then! 

Thank you for your kind comments and also the subscriptions! *bows*

"Uncommitted..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another four months later…

POV from Yoochun

Eight months. That is how old my unborn child is. Amazing isn’t it? He is finally due soon. I am relieved.

After Yun’s consultation with some weird guy four months ago, he got this magic-like prescription to make this miracle potion… and the kid is finally doing better because of that. There is less bleeding… and a lot less torture for him. Though he would still skip his meals at times, I am… pleased… to say that he is holding up. I don’t want anything to happen to him… and I won’t state the obvious reason why I wish so.

Seeing the belly swell up, I get apprehensive at times… but most of the time, I just feel… apologetic.

Damn it. If he had been less attractive… then I wouldn’t have done such a thing to him. I won’t apologise to him in a million years. I would rather… nevermind that!! Yun says that if I don’t… I will never be able to get him to accept me. I know that too… I’m not a dolt. Just impetuous is all. I simply lack the courage to do so now. Soon… I will get over this useless pride and annoying ego.

I have however, been formulating ways which I can make it up to him without having to hurt my pride. I want to do something for him that will make him smile. Not to make him love me back or anything… just to see him… happy. He can be high-spirited at times… I have heard his laughter a few times before… but never once saw him cachinnate for myself. I would kill to see him acting that way. Maybe not kill… literally… it’s just a way of expressing my burning desire.

I am contemplating going down a non-violent path. Maybe do something about my sins… Aish! Saying this now, I really wonder if there is anyone in this universe that will believe me.

To be honest. When I spend more time getting in touch with myself… and staying away from conflicts, I find that I can actually smile quite radiantly. Believe it or not, I almost couldn’t recognize myself when I saw my own reflection in the residential pond the other day. Clean shaven… tidy… and dressed without my trade mark armour.

If I had shown this side to him at the very beginning, maybe his first impression of me would be vastly different from how it is now. Maybe he would love me. I AM a handsome man after all. Who am I kidding?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Chun. I asked Junsu what he wanted the most the other day… and he said… Make a guess!” Yunho decided to poke fun at his friend while they sat together, polishing his own sword. Yoochun sat opposite to him, furbishing his recently dormant weapon as well.

“What? That he wanted me dead?” Yoochun play ‘fill in the blanks’ with a heavy heart.

“Good try. That’s incorrect.” Yunho chirped in reply. “He doesn’t seem to hate you that much anymore.”

“Yeah right.” Yoochun slipped his sword back into its sheath and stood to leave.

“My friend, you are not the thing he thinks about all day… unfortunately. He only misses this particular type of sweet pastry from back home.” Yunho mocked. Yoochun paused for a mere second. “Whatever.” He muttered and left, instead of flaring up at Yunho, who had just insinuated that he is being frivolous. Yoochun finds his friend’s sense of humor somewhat dry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

POV from Junsu

My life...

It’s either a nightmare or I am really ailing. My belly has undergone this absurd distention to reach the size of oversized winter-melon… and no matter how I see it… I can’t tell myself it doesn’t exist. It even moves! I wake up in the middle of the night because of something kicking me from the inside… I even wonder if I will see a feet breaking out from within if I wait long enough.

Also, thanks to this abomination growing so quickly, I can’t even sleep without feeling like I’m going to die from being crushed or from the pain. The thing will leave me alone sometimes… but most of the time, I will be helpless and wishing that I am better off dead. It’s amazing though, how I am still alive… after being so sure that I have bled a few buckets. Alive… just not kicking.

There is also something strange going on with me nowadays. I can’t seem to bring myself to hate on that man as much as I would love to… or as much as I use to. He is still a monster to me. My nightmare… but I don’t really have the energy to want to wring the life out of him anymore. As long as he leaves me alone, I am not planning to plague him. At least that’s what I promised myself. He hasn’t harassed me since.

If possible, I don’t want to have this child. First of all. It is from him. A reminder of being debauched… tainted… a reminder that hyung is gone. Secondly, what’s really killing me is this craving that I have been getting for more than a month! Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, dreaming of food! So annoying! I was never like this before I got knocked up! Cravings are such a pain!

However, I overheard the physicians saying that I am going to die during birth… or that I most likely am going to… and that’s good to hear. Strange enough.

Will I finally be liberated from this screwed up relationship? I hope so.

But before I die! I have a few things to accomplish! Most importantly, I am going to erect a tombstone for hyung. The hero of all times! I didn’t even get a chance to bury him! I can only regret that he is lying somewhere… in an unmarked grave… a mass grave maybe... That’s why he needs a memorial at the very least!

Then, I am going to write appa and umma a letter. To tell them that I am sorry for causing so much trouble… and causing hyung to die so pre-maturely.

Lastly, my last meal will be that damn thing I have been dreaming about for months. I swear to return as a hungry ghost and gnaw that bastard’s head off if I were to die without satifying that craving!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yunho sshi. I feel like going somewhere today… can I?” Junsu asked shyly as Yunho enters his room and opens up the beautifully carved pine windows, smiling at the boy gently.

“Really?! That’s good to hear!” Yunho immediately stopped drawing the partition around Junsu’s bunk and looked at the boy with a delighted expression. “Can you walk?”

Nodding his head, the feeble boy struggled to climb off the bed, exhaling dramatically whenever his overgrown bulge gets in the way. Yunho found the expressive boy really adorable and chuckled evilly at Yoochun, since the man could only peek from outside the door. “See!” Junsu finally hauls himself up with much difficulty and glowed contentedly at Yunho.

“You should smile more! You look really endearing when you do that!” Yunho saw Yoochun standing rooted silently in the hallway and decided to lure out the green eyed monster. “I am not… I am too old for that!” The boy blushed while hanging a few more layers on his thin shoulders tardily. Yoochun sulked and left.

“Where will you be going today?” Yunho supported Junsu as they made their way to the main halls.

“… North…” Junsu said timidly. Yunho froze momentarily and looked around them, hoping that Yoochun did not hear that. Yoochun didn’t. Only pleasant sound of wind chimes greeted them. “… It’s the craving…”

“You needn’t travel all the way there you know… I can get someone to run the errand.” Junsu shook his head, looking at Yunho with pleading doe eyes. Yunho yielded.

Without seeking Yoochun’s approval, Yunho decides to bring the boy out for a trip he will soon regret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A day later…

Disguised under their capes and in plain clothings, the advisor and Junsu made their way from the central plains to the far north of the united lands, reaching the northern border just before daybreak, after an arduous journey.

Yoochun, on the other hand, had travelled South bound, as duty calls, leaving Yunho and Junsu to do whatever they pleased.

The trip was particularly perilous for Junsu, but he knows that he will not be as lucky the next time around. He knows it’s unlikely that he will be able to take a trip back to where he came from if he lets this chance slip. Letting his enthusiasm keep him alive, Junsu lied about feeling fine whenever Yunho asked. Even when he was hurting, he would not reveal his condition to the advisor.

His endurance paid off as they finally arrived. It has only been a little more than eight months, yet it felt like a solid eight years to Junsu. The thinner air on the highlands, the flora and fauna, all of which Junsu misses badly. Passing through the untouched meadows, Junsu daydreamt about how he used to watch the clouds move and forms shapes while lying on the slightly stinging bristle-like grass.

Hidden under his hood, many passersby would think he is just a pregnant woman, and he kept his identity best that he could. With the servants’ help, Junsu set foot into the capital where he once dwelled, where he once played ‘catch’ with his brother and friends. Staring at the sandy ground for a long while, the boy sighed.

The city is back to how it once was, except that the structures have been changed to fit the central plain, which is where the main palace is located. Junsu’s home, the northern palace, is now a fort, for Yoochun’s sub-generals. The infrastructures that once lay in ruins after the war, is now restored and back in business. The crowd did not consist of many people that he once recognized, but some that he did, were still alive and well after the war.

Yunho then busied himself with the arrangement for them to stay overnight in the fort, allowing Junsu to roam around with the servants.

Reminded of the first things on his agenda list, Junsu got right down to business. Asking around for a stone sculptor, Junsu wondered into the more rural parts of the northern plains, finally finding someone who provides such services.

Leading the weathered man back to the palace, Junsu found a spot inside the fort with Yunho’s permission, and the sculptor hurriedly got to work. Etching Junho’s name and victories onto a stone in the main garden, Junsu watched on quietly, thinking through his brother’s short life.

“All done, milady.” The man called out to Junsu as he sweeps off the specks of dust to reveal perfect workmanship, reflected on the tombstone. The column is grand and an attention grabber, except without the mentioned man’s body beneath it.

Rewarding the craftsman handsomely with the money Yunho had spared him, Junsu traded the origin of his grief for a stroll in the market.

“I heard old Lee was approached by some mysterious lady to carve up a tombstone for general Junho.” “I didn’t know the big guy had flings too!! The missus is heavily pregnant too! How much do you want to bet with me that he is the dad?” Junsu was staring blankly at the row of shops selling steam buns when he overheard the conversation of the two men behind him. They were almost whispering, but since the name ‘Junho’ screams out, the boy’s curiosity is aroused. Deciding to ditch lunch, Junsu sat as close as he could, straining to eavesdrop. His brother’s name sparked his interest immensely.

“For what? He is still alive isn’t he? And since he is going a appa soon, I suggest we do not keep him in the dark.”

“SHHHH!! Not so loud!! Someone might hear you!” Junsu froze at the previous sentence. However, by the time he made a full turn with his stiff and sore back to identify where the two people are located, they were already leaving through the main door.

Panic overtook. Fearing that he might lose them, the boy immediately got up to give chase. He must know if they were talking about his brother. He was even ready to give his identity away. “Wait!” Junsu could feel that his legs are at the brink of giving way, but he persisted. Not bothering to inform the servants while they busy themselves with the horses just across the street, Junsu left an untouched spread on the table.

Stumbling out of the pavilion, Junsu spotted the two men getting onto their horses and galloping off, heading out of town. Not willing to give up, and not convinced that his ears are playing tricks on him, the boy broke into a run, staggering as he pressed on, ignoring the sweat pouring down his forehead, wetting his cheeks.

After a solid twenty minute struggle to reach the area just past the intersection of the smaller roads, Junsu finally caught up with them as they placed a brake on their fleshy transportation, looking around for something or someone watchfully. Nonetheless, before Junsu could reach them and start a verbal diarrhea of questions, two figures emerged from the tree nearby, to meet up with the duo.

The two figures are on horseback as well, and though they are in cloaks, just like he is, the boy can tell by the way one of the two is poised so gallantly, that the man is his brother. It may seem like a gut feeling, but Junsu knows he will recognize his brother’s confident posture anywhere, since that’s how he used to identify the man amongst the crowd.

‘Junho’ approached the two and started a brief conversation while the other person on horseback remained silent. Edging forward to take a better look, Junsu saw for a split second, the masculine jaw line of his brother, as well as the uncanny similarities in the side profile, disbelieve as well as every other emotions came flooding in. The only thing running through the boy's mind is his brother being alive when he had just ‘buried’ the man a while back, his brother being a little more than fifty yards from him.

“HYUNG!!! HYUNG!!!” Junsu could feel an impending contraction threatening to start if ever he exerts himself anymore than necessary, but he didn’t give it any thought. Screaming at the top of his lungs, the boy lurched forth and ran as fast as he could, bearing the pain as he wobbled forward.

As if he had caught some form of an unrecognizable sound, the man Junsu was calling out to, turned. Seeing the man’s face at last, Junsu gasped even louder and screamed while waving frantically.

“HYUNG!! IT’S ME!!! MIDGET!!!”

TBC

Please do comment and subscribe! *bows*