The next few hours didn’t seem real. I had walked out and no had come, no concerned Kris and no bloody faced Chen. I was so sure one of them would do something. But it appeared as if I was wrong. Neither of them came. The whole ride home I was sure to keep my phone on, the sound as high as it could be, just to make sure no one called me. And much to my disappointment, no one did.

I had never felt so alone. Sure being single was lonely, but never before I had I felt as though there was a gaping hole in my chest. Was it because I had done the dumping this time? That didn’t seem likely, normally the other one felt heartbroken, but in this case it was beginning to feel as if the roles were reversed.

When Chen broke up with me, yes it had hurt, it hurt like hell. I was more than depressed, but this—this felt so different.

I had no idea as to why it was so different. Kris and I hadn’t been dating very long, but I hadn’t remembered a more perfect time. It was as if my dreams from high school had finally come true. The dreams I thought I had long forgotten about.

I changed into my pajamas, heading to bed. The darkness engulfed me as I turned all of my electronics off so even if someone did try and get a hold of me, they wouldn’t be able to. I closed the curtains to my window, making the room pitch black before crawling into my bed.  I huddled down in the sheets. I couldn’t see my own hands and I slowly felt myself start to break.

The tightening in my chest was making it hard to breath. Was I really so stupid to believe that he would come after me? What was I even thinking?

I had no logical reason to doing what I did. I knew that now. But seeing Chen on the floor, so hopeless, it was enough to make me snap. I thought everything would be perfect between the three of us—and for those two it probably would be. I was delusional to think I was okay with the new friendships in the first place.

I thought I was done with Chen. I guess I was wrong. I finally felt my eyes start to close and I let myself drift off to sleep.

Someone stood in front of me. It looked as if it was Kris, but at the same time it looked like Chen. The style of the hair was Chen’s but the color matched Kris’s all too well. The figure was dressed in a black suit.

Eagerly I tried to move forward, to touch his shoulder, to pull him around to look at me but as I start to move forward he is getting farther away. Just barely out of my reach.

This continued to happen until I began to feel weary and want to give up, which is when the stranger in front of me began to turn around. But as he did I felt the ground beneath me give way and I was suddenly falling.

I woke up with a start. I was covered with sweat and the sheets were tangled around my legs, stuck to my wet skin. My heart was pounding in my ears making my head ache painfully.

 I desperately felt around my nightstand for my phone and after finally finding it I held down the power button waiting for the screen to load.  A sudden bright light flashed on the screen, blinding me for a moment.

It was around three in the morning.

I slowly untangled myself from my bedding and lay out across the covers of the bed. My fingers moved up to travel through my tangled hair and as I did my arm brushed across my face, feeling the dried tears there.

Groaning I pulled my covers back over my body, try to will myself back to sleep. All to my disappointment the pounding in my ears which was giving me a headache wouldn’t suffice.

Angrily I rolled out of bed, feeling my way to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on the light as I started the shower. Once it was hot I climbed in, letting the water beat against my skin.

Sun Hi you pathetic girl, you need to go apologize.

I stubbornly ignored the advice my mind was giving me. Apologize? I wouldn’t resort to that, that would suggest I was the only one who did something wrong. Wasn’t it true that being childish and hitting Chen back was also wrong?

Even so, you need to be the bigger person; you know that breaking up with Kris over that was stupid.

I shook my head, erasing my thoughts and shampooed my hair distractedly. Fifteen minutes later I got out and dressed myself. I even bothered to put makeup on before grabbing my keys and heading out. I didn’t know where I was going, but I just needed to go.

I didn’t really pay attention to where I was going and I found myself parked on the side of the street next to bar. I eyed the lit up sign wearily and all the people inside, who were having either a really good time or a really ty time.

Finally making up my mind I turned off the car and got out, walking into the half full bar. The music was down pretty low and you could see groups of people around the room laughing and the few lonely individuals drinking their own sorrows away.

I happily joined them, taking a seat at the bar, my eyes wandering over the people. My eyes finally settled on a man across the room, who was slightly bent over and was his bottle of soju fondly. He looked strangely familiar and I found myself staring at him until the bartender caught my attention.

After quickly ordering something and taking a gulp of it I looked back up to where the man had been before to see he had left his spot. I glanced around quickly, slightly disappointed I didn’t get to see who it was. Frowning I took a sip of my drink when suddenly someone tapped me on the shoulder.

I glanced around to see the same man, but only to realize it was Chen.

“Chen!” I said, my eyes widening in shock. My eyes instantly found the bruise that had formed on his right cheek and the cut on his lip. But overall he didn’t look too bad. “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be Sun Hi?” he inquired taking a seat next to me, still holding his half full bottle of soju.

“Because Kris…” I trailed off, looking away from his eyes to my drink.

“If anyone’s not okay, it’s Kris. Or on another note you—since you are here at four in the morning for some reason.”

“I’m fine,” I denied sourly, spinning the ice in my glass around and around.

“Please Sun Hi, I think I of all people would know when you are lying. This break up is affecting you almost as bad as it’s affecting Kris.”

“Kris obviously wasn’t that hurt by it,” I snorted coldly, taking a gulp of the remaining alcohol in my glass before slamming it back on the table, meeting Chen’s eyes once again.

“Yeah not at all. He’s not ignoring me or anything. It’s not like he is sitting in his room, staring at the wall. I know for a fact he isn’t sleeping.”

“Maybe he’s reading,” I suggested, half not caring how bad Kris was feeling. It was partially is fault. Right?

“Sun Hi. You already know he’s not reading. He’s thinking about you and him, and wondering why you behaved so rashly—”

“I did not behave rashly!”

“Didn’t behave rashly? Really? From what I saw that’s exactly what happened. You first of all didn’t take his side when you should have and then you didn’t let him explain. I believe that is considered to be very rash.”

“But he—”

“He what?”

“He—he…I don’t know.”

Chen raised his eyebrow at me before taking sip of his soju, “You are ridiculous.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, but didn’t answer him, knowing he would only lecture me again.

“You should apologize.”

I felt my heartbeat quicken at those words but I kept my cool on the outside.

“You should