Shin’s P.O.V

I looked down at my well-worn red converse as I still stood on the parking lot, thinking over what I should do. I could just go home to Jonghyun’s apartment and maybe surprise him with a dinner. Or I could follow Jonghyun into the hospital even though he might not want me there and support him.

There was no way I was going to do the first thing. First, I can’t cook at all. Second, I think Jonghyun needed my support. I mean, if someone I knew ended up in the hospital I would like Jonghyun to be there right? Not him going home and try to cook, mostly because his cooking is just as bad as mine.

So I moved my well-worn converse into the hospital.

“Annyeong-haseyo miss. What can I do to help you?” The lady at the counter asked me. I desperately looked around to catch a glimpse of Jonghyun. I had no idea where he went.

“Um…” I started. I didn’t even know who to ask for. “Is there anyone named Kim in this hospital?” I asked the lady, not aware of how stupid I sounded.

The lady chuckled. “Miss, there  a lot of Kims in this hospital. Can you enlarge your question a little bit?” The lady smiled kindly at me.

“Eh…” I smiled at little bit embarrassed of myself. Think Shin, in Jonghyun’s family who could be on the hospital? I stood deep in my own thoughts for a moment when I finally realized it.

“Jonghyun’s mum!” I shouted out loud. I covered my mouth when all the people turned to me. “Sorry”, I mumbled.

“So Jonghyun’s mum?” The lady asked me. I nodded. “But I can’t remember her name though.”

“It’s okay I think I know who you are talking about. Jonghyun visits here a lot”, the lady told me.

I just nodded. I didn’t quite know what to answer at that. It wasn’t exactly positive that he was here often.

“He is down that hallway”, the lady explained and pointed at a hallway. “But you should be quiet. There are a lot of weak and resting people. And you aren’t allowed to enter the rooms unless Jonghyun wants you to. Arrasso?”

I nodded and thanked the lady. When I walked further down the hallway I could hear Jonghyun’s voice. But it wasn’t as gagging and self-confident as it used to be. His voice was serious and worried.

I stopped in front of a room where I could hear Jonghyun’s voice clearly. He was inside the room with closed door and it sounded like he was talking to a doctor.

“W-will she forget me completely?” Jonghyun asked the doctor with a serious voice.

“I’m afraid so. Her brain keeps going down as she keeps getting more and more ill. There is nothing we can do anymore but wait and see what happens”, the doctor announced.

“But you have to do something!” Jonghyun protested.

“I’m sorry sir but I’m afraid we can’t—“

“You can’t just stand here and watch her fade away!” Jonghyun shouted so everybody in the hallway could hear.

“Sir, maybe you should ease off a little bit. You are making people upset”, the doctor tried to calm down Jonghyun.

“So I won’t make people notice how y this hospital is? You should treat people not just stand and watch them die!” Jonghyun shouted.

I had never heard Jonghyun desperate like this before. Even when he was shouting at me that night after I bashed his family, he didn’t sound this way. He sounded like he was on the edge on tears in frustration now.

“Sir, I have to ask you to wait outside the hospital until you’ve calmed down.”

“NO FREAKIN WAY I’M LETTING MY MUM STAY ALONE WITH YOU SICK BASTARDS! ARE YOU EVEN DOCTORS?” Jonghyun shouted. His voice was so high pitched. I guess it became that way when he was really angry. I had never heard a guy with such a light voice before.

I heard some weird noises from the room and it sounded like someone was beating someone up. “”, I said to myself. What if Jonghyun had gone mad?

“P-please stop that. It will hurt”, the doctors voice said. I stiffened. Jonghyun was beating the doctor up?

Without a second thought, I barged into the room. Jonghyun wasn’t beating the doctor up but more like himself. He was slamming his head into the wall.

“Jonghyun! Stop it!” I shouted and tried to get him to calm down. Jonghyun didn’t respond but kept hurting himself. “Why are you doing this? Have you gone mad!?” I tried to get Jonghyun to stop but he forced himself to keep on giving himself a brain damage.

“I should have spend more time with her. I should not have left her. This is all my fault!” Jonghyun scolded himself.

“Aniyo. Your mother’s sickness is no one’s fault. You can’t blame yourself, Jonghyun-ssi”, the doctor said.

I suddenly remembered his mum. In the corner of the room an old lady was lying in a bed. Her eyes were closed and she was terrifying pale.

I couldn’t focus on her for long because Jonghyun kept hurting himself. “STOP IT JONGHYUN!” I shouted.

I desperately pulled in his shoulders to make him go away from the wall. With some sort of sudden power I managed to turn his head to me.

“Stop. It. Now”, I demanded while I looked into his now crying eyes. Jonghyun shook his head and was about to turn his head again when I stopped him.

To stop him from hurting himself further I planted my lips on his for a short moment. Jonghyun blinked at me but this time he didn’t turn to the wall again.

“Let’s wait outside, okay?” I said and pulled the now silent Jonghyun out from the room. Jonghyun nodded and followed me out on the hallway.

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Good news: I have 6 weeks of vacation so you can count on more updates from now :)

Sorry for not updating for so long...

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