Part 11

Step 1 & 2.

The first step written down on Taemin's list:

Step 1. Realize that it's over.

What you guys had is now merely part of the past. You need to realize that it's over. Don't look at it as an ending, rather it's a sign for a new beginning. Realize that you deserve better than him anyway. Burn the memories, throw them away, or anything that will give you a fresh new start.

Step 2. Get Sad

Sob. Cry. Bawl. Whatever it takes for you to get rid of your gloomy feelings. Express how you feel about the whole break-up. Write it down, paint a your story on a canvas, sing your heart out, or practically anything that will wash away all of your sadness.

I took a long deep. Time to begin. I opened my drawer filled with my Jonghyun things. Couple pictures, couple t-shirts, jewelry that he had given me as gifts, small stuffed animals he had won for me at amusement parks, movie tickets, and notes that we passed in school. Carefully, I picked up the necklace.

It wasn't just any necklace. It was the first present Jonghyun had ever given me.

-FLASHBACK-

“Close your eyes,” He whispered into my ear.

I obediently listened to him and shut my eyes, peacefully leaning my head back on our tree. The tree was close to the area where Jonghyun had confessed to me. It was a place where we escaped to whenever something bugged us. It was our place.

Suddenly, I felt something gentle and cold against my neck.

I opened my eyes to see a beautiful necklace with a big blue gem on it.

“I decided this represented you and our relationship the best,” Jonghyun smiled, explaining his reasoning, “The silver swan represents you. Your beauty and grace. I've watched you from childhood as a little ugly duckling,”

“Hey!” I pouted.

He just smiled and continue, “Into the majestic, graceful, beautiful swan you are now. The swan usually floats along in a lake, the exact place where I confessed to you. The lake holds a significant meaning to us. Thanks to it, I managed to see you all wet,” He winked.

I shoved him, “Keep thinking those erted thoughts and this magical lake just might be the one I drown you in,”

He chuckled, “I'd like to see you try,” Jonghyun moved closer to me, staring into my eyes intensely. Those brown eye-smile eyes. Big and puppy-dog like, those eyes pulled me closer to him, leaning for a kiss. I felt him gently toy with the necklace, tracing his finger along my collarbone. Each touch sending shivers down my spine.

This was the memory of my first gift from Jonghyun as a couple.

-END FLASHBACK-

I reluctantly placed that memoir, along with other random memories of Jonghyun, into a show box. I used some stylish cheetah print duck-tape and wrapped it around the box, sealing the lid completely. Afterward, I placed the shoe box outside of our door, ready for the weekly garbage-guy collector to come along and lug it away from me.

Just the thought of what I just did let step 2 come along. I began to cry, sob, incomplete tears. I ran towards the bedroom before Taemin, who was still working on dinner, could see me. Letting go wasn't easy, if anything it was excruciatingly painful.

I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote down a letter. A letter to Jonghyun. One that of course I'll never send to him. But it'll contain my feelings and thoughts. Might as well do all of the steps Taemin wrote down if I already stated.

Dear Jonghyun,

You were everything to me. After the conversation with you at our tree today, I realized you knew that too. Everything we used to have seemed like perfection. Maybe and possibly too good to be true? There are so many things I want to say to you right now. Whether it be to curse you out or say those three words.

I love you. There I said.

Well, actually I wrote it, but whatever.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Now that I've finally got to admit it, it's time to let it go.

I will never be the one you want anymore.

Why you may ask? Because like Johnny Depp always says “If you love two people at the same time choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one.”

That's exactly what you did. You chose her. Her. Not me. The one who was always there for you. The one who struggled through life with you. The one who was sadly completely obedient to you like a dog.

Well, guess what?! I meant what I said at the tree. You are gonna regret losing me.

Someday someone's gonna love me the way I wanted you need me.

Someday someone's gonna take your place.

One day, I'll forget about you.

You'll see I won't even miss you.

However, once you realize that giving me up was the biggest mistake of your life, I'll be happy somewhere.

Without you.

Good-bye Jonghyun. It's nice to realize now that what we had was way to good to be true.

Now I can just let it go.

The Best Thing You'll Never Have Again,

________

I read over what I had just written and sealed it in an envelope, shoving it in the desk. I locked the drawer with a key, which I decided to wear around my neck. The necklace that Jonghyun had given me would no longer dangle on a chain close to my heart. Now the key that would keep my feelings locked away forever replaced it.

Steps 1 & 2. Completed.

Taemin's POV

I watched _____ as she happily skipped out of the room. I noticed that she was wearing a key necklace around her neck rather than the swan blue-gem one. If my guess is correct the swan necklace was probably from Jonghyun.

I smiled to myself. I'm glad she's attempting the steps I gave her. I watched as she carefully sat down on the couch.

Now's my chance.

“_______,” I whispered into her ear as I gave her a back hug. I felt her tense at the sudden surprise. “You seem so happy all of a sudden,”

She laughed, “I'm following the steps you gave me. I guess it's lifting the burden off of my shoulders,”

I gently kissed her on her neck, “I wish you would quickly finish those steps and get over Jonghyun,” I confessed, “I wish I was the one that filled your mind and heart, not him,”

She sighed, “It's gonna be hard to let go Taemin,”

“I'll be patient. I can wait,”

She turned around towards me and gently flicked my forehead, “You sure do say a lot of serious mature things for a guy who is a senior in high school. Act more your age, old man,

I pouted, “Fine, would you rather me do things a guy my age would do?”

She nodded.

Your POV

Once I nodded, Taemin's expression became dark and lust filled.

He grabbed my wrists and yanked me onto the couch, hovering over me. His hand slowly moved up my leg, sending tingles throughout me, stopping mid-thigh.

“Now, ____. Do you really want me to start acting my age?”

I bit my lip. Would it be wrong to admit that Taemin's touch was something I longed for? Being away from Jonghyun's touched mad me yearn for someone's warmth.

He carefully analyzed my expression, “You want me don't you?” He killed me with that y smirk.

Flustered, I yelled, “Of course not!”

Taemin softly chuckled, “It's written all over your face,”

“Taemin, I-” Suddenly, his soft lips were on mine. The world seemed to stop all of a sudden, frozen in time. I could hear the sizzling of what Taemin was cooking in the kitchen. I smell the delicious aroma of our dinner. However, I could easily hear my heart beat racing. I could smell Taemin's scent lingering onto me. I wish that I could just have this moment and nothing else.

Jonghyun's POV

I wonder if she ever found a place to stay. She looked fine when she came to school today. You think she went back to her parents? No, I seriously doubt, she hated them after everything they put her through. Could she by be shacking up in some strange guys apartment? I shook the idea out of my head. There's no way she would, she's too innocent to share her body with just anyone.

I was casually walking up the apartment stairs when I noticed a box.

I shouldn't be really snooping on my neighbors or anything, but something about it made me gravitate towards it. I cautiously scanned around to make sure no one would see me doing this. I grabbed the box, unraveled the duct tape off of it, and slowly exposed what was inside.

There staring back at me was a past memory. Actually all of our past memories. The photos, the couple t-shirts, everything.

Something quickly caught my eye, shimmering. It glistened as the light hit it.

The necklace.

I stared wide-eyed at it. There was no way she would ever throw any of this away. There was no way she would get over me this quickly. I was her everything and that necklace was the emblem of that. I placed it in my hand and made a fist, angered by this.

I heard her scream, or was it possibly a moan, coming from the apartment complex. It was definitely her. No one had that high pitch giggly scream like she did.

With all of my might I kicked the door down, ran into the room, and stared in shock at the sight before me. _____ was there, underneath a guy. A guy who looked slightly familiar. But nevertheless, a guy. Both of their clothes were on, but just the sight of it pissed me off. Both of their eyes looked over at me with bewilderment.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” I hissed those angry words without much thought. But who cares.

Hands. Off. She. Is. Still. Mine.

<---------- This is you

A lovely riceball freaking out right?!?

Jonghyun seems ..... heartbroken? LOL. & plain pissed.

Jealous Jonghyun? Like it? Or Hate it?

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