Jessica’s POV
 

I am staring at the back of Yuri’s and that guy’s. Isn’t she too friendly to him? They are giggling together. Doesn’t she need to be careful about that after she kissed me that night? Actually, we didn’t talk about what that kiss means and what changes will happen to our relationship after that. I was so nervous, and my heart is bounding like crazy that night. She seemed to be shy, and the atmosphere was so awkward. So, I just held her hand and changed the subject so that she doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

I don’t know how long I have been staring at them, but girls started to notice and teased me. Yuri suddenly turned around to us as our eyes met and I avoided eyes contact quickly. After that, she wrapped up their conversation and came back. She patted my hair as soon as she was back which makes my heart fluttered for no reason.

She said he is her brother’s friend. Why does she need to be that close with him? I am still pouting but I try my best not to show. Then I suddenly feel the touch. Someone held my hand under the table. Yes, it’s Yuri. I gazed at her, and she smiled at me. She knows how to make my heart melt.

We gathered together at Yuri’s house after that. Seohyun wants to go back home but we forced her to stay with us.

“Why? You don’t like Unnies?”

Sooyoung pouted. But as usual we win. She decided to sleep with us. This is our first-time sleep over as group. All 9 of us. We are so excited for that. We stay together at Taeyeon and Tiffany’s dorm sometimes, but we can’t call that sleepover, right? Some sleep in the bathroom, some sleep on the couch and some drink till the morning. It was a mess.

“Let’s not sleep tonight, girls”

Tiffany said very energetically. She really has a lot of energy. I feel better after Yuri held my hand under the table. I can believe in you, right? I was staring at her when Sunny dragged me to the couch. We are like 9 people, so the place is crowded. Some girls hanging around the kitchen aera and bar table, some girls in the living room playing game or chatting.

“Girls…shall we make fruit cocktail?”

Yuri asked as everyone agreed.

“I will help you”

Yoona got up quickly from sitting with us and went to the kitchen. Yuri, Yoona are in charge of cocktail and Sooyoung is in charge of snack. I wanna help Yuri too but there’s always someone who could help better than me and they volunteer faster than me. So, I have no chance.

“You wanna talk?”

Sunny asked me as she clicked her beer bottle with mine then walked to the balcony. I picked up my beer bottle as I followed her.

“What do you want me to talk about?”

I asked while standing beside her.

“Are you jealous?”

She asked when staring at the kitchen from balcony. I gazed at what she is staring at and I saw Yuri and Yoona laughing together while cutting the fruit as Tiffany is hanging around doing errand such as bring bowl for her or things. Well, I am jealous.

“Am I obvious?”
 

I asked as she chuckled.

“So obvious”

“I thought I am good at pretending though”

We giggled together.

“Seem like Yuri is popular right?”

I asked while sipping my beer.

“I guess so. Being with her everyday makes me realize that. But we all know how much she cares about you”

It’s true that she cares about me, but you know when we are with group, we never have a chance to talk like how me and Sunny do now. She got a lot of attention. Her original squad, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon never leave her alone, Yoona always together with her, and now Tiffany shows a lot of attention to her. How can I talk to her like that? When will I able to talk to her about the kiss that night?

“She’s unpredictable, right?”

I asked with weak smile.

“What are you guys’ relationship? I can clearly see there’s something more than friendship”

Sunny asked. That mean everyone can see, right? I am glad that I am not paranoid. I have always been paranoid about our relationship. Are we just best friends who love each other a lot or are we something more than friendship?

“She kissed me on cheek the other day. But we didn’t talk about that yet. I want to know too. What is our relationship? I want to know what she is thinking”

I said sadly. Ever since that day, she doesn’t show any changes. The obvious thing she did is the holding hand under the table at the bar few hours ago.

“Why don’t we talk about how you think and how you feel about first instead of what she thinks?”

Sunny said. It’s true though. I never think about mine before. What do I think of her? As a friend or a girl? Am I ready to accept this relationship? Am I lesbian? Do I like girl? If she is ready, am I ready to accept this relationship? What will my parents say? What will other people say? Am I able to stand the criticism of the environment? She makes me realize it’s more than just a kiss on cheek. I suddenly feel sad.

“You know I couldn’t forget the smile she gave me when we first met. It was really warm. I just moved from San Francisco at that time. I have no friends. I can’t speak Korean well. I was like a spoil kid who is kind of violence. She took care of me a lot. She made me the person who I am today. She really means a lot to me”

I said while staring at her who is laughing with other girls.

“She’s really kind, right? She knows how to take care of people. Taeyeon and Yoona told me kind of same things too”

Sunny said. Actually, yes. She is kind to everyone, not just me. She means a lot to many people. Like how she took care of Taeyeon and stand for her when she was in her lowest. I have known Taeyeon for so long. I really thought she had crush on Yuri before she got girlfriend. She doesn’t really like me before since Yuri gave a lot of attention to me. For Yoona’s case, Yoona is like her real sister. Yoona doesn’t have mom. She doesn’t even know who is her mom. Her mom left her as soon as she was born. Yuri took care of her a lot like real sister. I do too.

“See? That’s what I am afraid of. I am confused if she has special feelings for me or am I just one of the girls she likes to take care of”

I sighed.

“What if she likes you in that way, are you ready to accept?”

Sunny asked which made me silence and did a deep thought.