Soft.

That’s the first thing Byul noticed as she slowly came back to consciousness.  Soft. Comfortable. 

She slowly opens her eyes to a dim room, the sun already gone for the day. Byul shifted her hand to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes but froze when she felt the small cut on her face.

Everything from earlier this morning came rushing back.

Yongsun. The fight. The fear. Water. Cold. Then..warmth? Yongsun again. Yongsun seeing her in that state. Falling asleep holding Yongsun. Yongsun, who is not here anymore. 

“,” 

Byul sat up, aggressively rubbing her face, trying to clear her mind. 

Her head snaps up when she heard the toilet flushing then water running. 

She stumbles out of bed, blindly making her way to the bathroom and slams the door open,

“JESUS!” 

She saw Yongsun jumped in the middle of washing her hand, but Byulyi didn’t care.

She’s still here.

“Byul?” 

She felt a hand on her face and flinched away, her mind unable to comprehend what’s happening.

Yongsun jerks her hand back as if burned, “Byul-ah” 

She refocused on the present to see Yongsun looking scared and unsure.

A tug, a pull, and then she has Yongsun wrapped around her arms as Byul buries her face in the older girl’s neck, inhaling her smell.

She felt two arms wrapped around her tightly, encompassing her.  It was all too much.

“I’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry,” Byul cried, clinging tightly to her.

She felt a vibration from Yongsun’s neck, but she’s too lost to hear what was being said.  She felt herself being maneuver somewhere, then a soft cushion beneath her. 

“I’m sorry, Yongsun, Yongsun, i’m sorry i’m sorry sorry Yongsun” Byul desperately cried, nothing but Yongsun’s name and sorry coming out. 

She felt a soft hand soothingly her hair, then soft humming. The soothing motion of Yongsun’s hand and the soft humming eventually calmed her down.

They stayed like that for a bit, Byul not wanting to say anything yet or disrupt the calm.

Eventually, her stomach got the better of her, and it growled. She felt Yongun’s smile more then see it, 

“Want to order food?” Yongsun whispers, looking down at the girl wrapped around her.

“‘kay “ Byul mutters, not wanting to move or eat for that matter.

She focus on Yongsun’s rhythmic hand on her head, not really listening to what Yongsun ordered.

“Byulyi,”

“Hm?”

“Look at me?”

Byul slowly tilt her head up, 

“I’m sorry Byul,” eyes flicker to the cut on her face before settling on her eyes, “I’m so so sorry,”

“No,” Byul softly shake her head, “I’m sorry, you were right, I was - “

The hand that’s been softly playing with her hair froze, “No Byulyi, this isn’t a matter of who’s right or wrong.  That doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have - we’re adults, I'm an adult, I should have been able to speak and listen in a civil manner, not scream and throw things like a child.” 

“Those were your emotions, unnie, you’re allowed to express those,” Byul softly reply, unconsciously nudging her head to get Yongsun to continue her movement, to which the older girl complied.

“Not like that, not in the ways that hurt you,”

Byul stayed silent, having nothing to say to that. She didn’t want to lie, because what Yongsun did, did hurt her.  But she doesn't know what to say to ease the guilt without saying something stupid and causing more problems.

*ding dong* 

“Food’s here, I’ll be right back” She made sure to say that last part for the younger girl, because her actions earlier, the way she clings to her, and now spoke of some deep issues.

After settling the table, she sat back down next to Byul, “You didn’t answer when I asked what you wanted, so I just got us fried rice.”

“Sorry,’ Byul bowed her head, fiddling with the sleeve of her robe, “I didn’t hear,” 

Yongsun glance at her worryingly as she serve her a bowl of rice, “Nothing to be sorry about Byul-ah”

“Here, eat,”

Byul picks up the bowl and spoon, then leans her head onto Yongsun’s shoulder, resting her head there, as she held her bowl in her lap.  Yongsun placed a hand on Byu’s back, gently rubbing as she eats with one hand and does her best not to move too much.

“You’re not going to eat?” Yongsun ask when she sees Byul just holding the bowl.

“Right..” 

They ate in silence, well Yongsun ate, Byul nibbles on her food, taking a small spoon to Yongsun’s 3-4 big spoon.

“Hey,” Yongsun place a hand on top of Byul’s wrist as she was about to lift it to , “don’t force yourself, just what you can okay?”

Hearing that, Byul placed the bowl back on the table and curl herself to Yongsun’s side. 

“We need to talk,”

“About what?”

“Byulyi…”

“Unnie..”

“That - when I came back and you were - Byul, do you know how scared I was?”

“I’m sorry, you weren’t meant to see that,” Byul whispers as she move to distance herself, but Yongsun wrapped an arm around the girl, holding her safely in place, 

“I’m glad I did, who knows how long you’ve stayed there like that. If you don't want to talk about it now, that’s fine, but I’m not going to let you avoid it forever,”

Byul sagged down against her, the weight of all her fears are too much, and she hesitantly asks, “when is your flight?”

“In two days,”

Byul snaps up to look at Yongsun’s face, not believing what she heard.  Yongsun gave her a small smile, “I’m not leaving until I have to, you have me for the next few days,”

Byul continued to stare, taking in her unnie’s face and smile, and after a long while, she heard, “Byul?” 

“My parents,” Byul starts then stop.  

Yongsun gently rub her back soothingly.  Byul laid back on her unnie’s shoulder, staring blankly at the table and left over food in front of her, 

“My parents, they - a fire. It - the cold water - it - sorry”

“Take your time Byul,”

Byul took a deep breath, willing herself to share, “They were picking me up from school, and a truck slammed into them. Their car flipped and bursted in flames. I ran to them - I don’t remember much, just it was really really hot. The doctor said they died from the crash, not the fire.” 

Byul felt a hand over her fist and look down to see her hands fist  to the point that it’s white and shaking,

“He lied.  Omma was still alive. She said something but I couldn’t - there was so much blood on her and there were a lot of flames and it was so hot, I couldn't see or hear what she was mouthing.”

“Someone pulled me back and then I woke up in the hospital. It - the cold water - it helps when it gets too much.”

“ Byulyi...” 

“I- the kids were nice at first, pity maybe.  But then they got...mean.  I was the - I didn’t have - there was -”

“Take your time,”

“I didn’t want to tell them, my grandparents.  They were already sad. I - I didn’t want to cause any trouble. When they passed, there was - I was alone.  I - I wanted to get out. I want -” 

Byul cuts herself off and lifts her head to see Yongsun crying. She lifted up her hands to wipe away the tears. Yongsun covers her hands, holding them to her face and look into Byul’s eyes, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I came back and i’m here now, and i’ll stay as long as you let me,”

“Yongsun?”

“As long as you want Byulyi,”

Byul’s eyes flicker down to , then back up.  She reverently whispers, “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

 

A/N - HAPPY NEW YEAR!  HAPPY MOONBYUL AND WHEEIN ALBUM MONTH!!  Shutdown was mindblowing!

Stream G999 and Shutdown!  If you can, purchase their album!  6quence and WHEE.  WHEE is such a great name hahah WHEE

I am sorry for the long wait from the last update.  I actually finished this chapter in December, but it felt final... I sat on it for the pass month, hoping to continue but nothing came out.  I didn't want to end it yet... i have so much fun writing this and want to explore more, but my heart/hands decided this is it for this one.  I always knew i wanted to end once they kiss, but didn't think it'll come this early.  I erased the ending so many time, trying to find another path to continue.  But I failed.  So this is where we end the story.  Maybe i will write a sequal that's always a possibiltity.  Writing this has been so fun for me, and i hope its been a fun ride for you : )

Thank you so much for following this journey with me, for allowing me to express my thoughts, and for taking time out of your day to read!