ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Chapter 18

NANCY'S POV

I am crying the whole time I'm cooking pancakes. Ngayon ko lang napansin matagal na pala akong hindi kumakain ng pancake. This is my comfort food yet I didn't eat this during my down moments. Maybe because I'm afraid to gain extra weight with it. I saw the hurt i've caused to my loved ones, especially to Yeonwoo. Nasaktan ko siya because of my insecurities. It's a struggle for me also to fight my eating disorder. I had it again and I don't understand why I had it again. But I will try to overcome this. Starting with my pancakes, I said to myself.

"Done." I whispered to myself while wiping my the tears from my eyes while I put the last pancake from the pan and into the plate.

"Hindi kaya maalat yan kasi may kasamang luha." I heard at my back. Yeonwoo

"Who cares I'm the one who'll eat this anyway." I reasoned without turning around. I heard no response but I felt a warm body behind me. A warm hands around my waist and a warm face against my cheek. She rested her head on my shoulder while she wrapped me with her tight embrace.

"I'm sorry, I don't  mean to yell at you." She said while inhaling in my neck.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hide my situation from you, too honey." I said while holding her arms around me. "I'm always on denial about it."

"I understand, hon, pero we're one now kaya sana malaman natin ang damdamin ng isa't isa. Our fears and doubts. Everything." she whispered. "Mahal na mahal kita Nancy, hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa mapapatunayan sa'yo pero gagawin ko ang lahat just to prove you how much I love you." she said almost choking, she's trying to hold back her tears. I felt guilty. I slowly turned around to face her, cupped her face and slowly closed the gap between us. I kissed her tenderly and she responded with equal tender and sweetness.

I missed her kiss, full of assurance and security, her kisses that never changed. It's like she's always missing my lips and hungry for my taste. I felt her arms tightening around me as if afraid to lose me while she's now kissing me passionately. I felt myself giving in, as I always been everytime I'm in her arms. We're kissing hungrily now, like we've been apart for a while. It's like we missed each other so much. Ang away namin kanina ay parang naglayo sa amin ng matagal. Ganon namin kamahal ang isa't isa, konting sandaling pagkakalayo dahil sa pakatatalo ay namiss namin agad ang isa't isa.

"Y-yeonwoo." I moaned when I felt her hand on my . She's hungry for me. Everytime we make love, it is like our first time. Yeonwoo loves me so much and I'm too blinded by my insecurities not to see her faithfulness.

"I love you, Nancy. So much." she whispered after our lips parted. We're both panting and her hands now in my back gently caressing while she keeps me close to her. "I miss you, I want you."

I held her face. "Hungry for me?" I asked now smiling. She took my hand from her face and kissed it.

"Lagi hon..." she whispered, her eyes full of love and desire.

"But I still have to eat my pancakes." I said.

"It's ok, honey. You can eat your pancakes while I'm eating you." she said grinning.

"Yeonwoo!!!" I shouted swatting her arms, I felt my cheeks turning red.

"Just kidding, hon. I just love to see you blushing." she said kissing my nose. "C'mon, let's eat your pancakes upstairs." yaya na niya.

"You'll wake up our babies." I reminded her.

"Nope. Mama's with them and they're sleeping soundly, hon. And we're not sleeping there tonight. Sa attic tayo." she said while she's now holding the plate of pancakes.

"Sa attic..."

"Yup."

"Paano pag nagising mga bata?"

"It's ok, Mahal. Mama can handle them."

"How can you be so sure?"

"We're just at the attic, hon. Pag hindi kinaya ni Mama tatawagin niya tayo." she said her eyes pleading.

"Ok, then." sabi ko sabay kuha ko ng strawberry jam. "Let's go." I said and I saw her eyes lit up.

We passed by at our room. "I'll just check the kids." bulong ko kay Yeonwoo. Tumango lang siya at dumiretso na siya dala ang pancakes and strawberry jam.

Pagpasok ko sa kwarto namin ay deretso ako sa room ng mga bata. Tulog na si Mama sa couch, I checked on the twins and they're both in deep slumber. I gave them both a goodnight kiss as I slowly walked to Mama with blanket with me. Kinumutan ko si Mama and she must have felt it as she opened her eyes.

"Sorry Mama, can you stay here for awhile?" I requested.

"Of course, Anak. No biggies." She answered

"Thanks, Ma. I Love you. Goodnight."

"Love you too and goodnight, Hija."

-

"What took you so long?" Bungad ni Yeonwoo pagpasok ko ng pinto.

"I checked on the kids, honey."

"Eat your pancakes na hon." Aya niya "Sabi mo gutom ka na." Palapit na ako sa kanya, she's sitting on the carpeted floor.

"Bakit diyan ka nakaupo?" I asked.

"Kasi maguusap, I mean kwentuhan, tayo." She said.

"Yon lang?" She chuckled. "Hay naku Yeonwoo Lee." I said but deep inside I'm excited of our moment alone with each other.

"Just missed you, hon." She said while standing and met me halfway the room.

"And I missed you, honey. I was crying the whole time. Just the thought that you're mad and you might..." I stopped to hold myself from crying again.

"Hon, I may get mad, but I will never ever love you less. Remember that." Lapit niya at hinawakan ang mukha ko at matama niyang tiningnan. "How long have you been crying?"

Tanong niya, hindi ako nakapag salita. From the moment you confronted me in the bathroom, sagot ko sa isip ko. "Hon." Malambing niyang tawag.

"It's ok honey, it serves one of its purpose." I said to lighten the mood. She smiled still exploring my face. "Honey." I called out because I can't stand her stare at me anymore. It's like she's slowly looking into my soul and wanted to take me into her world. I felt the same. I wanted to kiss her, hug her, make love with her. Before I could say another word she slowly closed the gap. I closed my eyes to feel her. I felt her lips in my left eye, then in my right eye, down to the bridge of my nose, to my nose. Then she stopped. I'm anxiously waiting for her lips to touch mine. Seconds passed but there's none yet her hands still cupped my face and gently caressing my cheeks. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my Love smiling and the sparks in her eyes. "Why'd you stop?" I asked.

"As long as I can see that longing in your eyes, hon I will be here loving you. Hanggat nakikita ko sa'yong mga mata ang pananabik sa halik ko, hindi magbabago ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo. Dumating man ang panahon na mawala ang pagmamahal mo sa akin. Umalis ka man, palayain man kita. Dala mo na ito sa pag alis mo." She said while pointing her heart.

"Why are you saying that?" Tanong ko.

"I don't know hon. Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano ko maipaparamdam sa'yo na mahal na mahal kita. Na hindi mo kailangang ma insecure." She honestly said. I felt guilty for making her think that it was her fault.

"Honey, it's not your fault."

"Not your fault either, hon." She held my hands and kissed them and held them on her chest. "Promise me Nancy, let us know each other's fears and doubts just as we know our happiness and joys. Let's be open with each other. You strength is my strength and your weakness is my weakness too, let's work on together, hon. Don't fight any battle alone, because you have me and you have our kids with you. You have our love to overcome anything." She said looking straight into my eyes.

"Yes, honey. Thank you and I'm sorry..." I was stopped with her lips now kissing me. We lingered with our kisses for a moment before she slowly moved to separate our lips.

"No more sorry..." she whispered then she kissed me again. I now felt her kisses more aggressive and passionate that ignited my desire to want her. She felt it with my kisses and I know this will be a long night for us.

YEONWOO'S

I woke up thirsty. I got up slowly not to wake up the sleeping beauty lying next to me. I kissed Nancy's exposed shoulder before getting up the bed. I don't mind walking around the room . Wala namang aakyat dito sa attic. I saw the empty plate in the floor as I walked towards the mini fridge. I remembered what happened last night. Nancy emptied the plate in one sitting, she got really hungry and now she's dead tired. How many times did we made love? I chuckled at the thought. Couldn't remember. I gulped the water in one go and went back to the bed with my wife. She's still in the wonderland. I sat beside her, she's lying flat on her belly, the sheets covering just her lower body. I gaze at her , carefully tracing her now visible spine. She's skinny but she refused to accept it. My eyes went down to her thighs and legs. Am I so preoccupied preparing the future of my family that I missed every detail of my wife's body. Am I so overwhelmed with my kids that I forgot about my wife's struggle? I felt my eyes getting wet pero pinigilan ko ang luha kong pumatak. Hindi na mauulit ang nangyari sa'yo Nancy, hindi ko na hahayaang maramdaman mo ang ganito, bulong ko sa sarili. Pinagsawa ko ang aking mata na pagmasdan ang asawa ko, ngayon ko lang ulit nagawa ito. Masuyo ko siyang hinahaplos, naramdaman niya ata yon dahil unti unti siyang nagmulat ng mata.

"Oh, geez. Honey. Don't you had enough already?" She said while looking at me down to my belly. Ngayon ko lang ulit naalala ang hubad kong katawan. I smirked and started dancing my fingers on her back.

"What?" I pretended.

"Oh c'mon, honey. Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Me? Do I need to?" balik kong nanunukso.

"Wow, over confident." She said as she moved to turn around and face the other side of the bed. Natawa lang ako. Umayos ako at tumabi na sa kanya dahil tinalikuran na niya ako. I hugged her from behind, I felt her warm body that made me want to hug her and pull her closer to me.

"Just kidding,hon." Lambing ko. "Still tired?" I asked to set the mood.

"Dead tired but still so much in love with you." Sagot niya at mahina akong natawa. Mas lalo ko siyang niyakap at pinaliguan ng halik sa balikat, batok at leeg niya.

"Ako? I'm so deadly in love with you at hindi napapagod." bulong ko sa pagitan ng paghalik ko sa kanya. I felt her body tensed.

"Honey, don't." She said dahil nakikiliti na siya.

"Nope." Sagot ko at patuloy sa ginagawa.

"If you don't stop..."

"What?" hamon ko.

"I won't stop too." She giggled and swiftly turned around and climbed over, the next thing I know she's above me. "I won't stop until every part of your body sore." She said, her eyes full of passion and desire. She crushed her lips to mine until our kisses ignited us to be hungry again for each other. Only this time, Nancy's dominant and I let her be.

"N-nancy..." I called out when I felt her hand roaming around my body and her kisses turning hot and wild.

-

"Thank you for coming, Daisy" Bungad ko when Daisy entered in a private room sa pinareserved kong restaurant.

"No biggies, Yeonwoo. Bigla akong kinabahan nong narinig kong super serious ng boses mo." Sagot niya habang binati ako ng halik.

I gestured her to seat. "Pero may kutob na ako kaya I came rushing in." Sabi niyang may ngiti.

"You're her bestfriend."

"I know and I understand why you want to see me, Yeonwoo." Sabi niya pag upo pa lang niya."You're a worried wife at this moment." Nakangiti ngunit seryoso niyang sabi.

"I feel guilty—-"

"Nobody's fault, Yeonwoo. Kahit si Nancy, in denial siya. She thought that there's nothing wrong with her kaya hindi sinasabi sa'yo. So don't blame yourself." Sabi niya, lumapit ang waiter at matapos niya sabihin ang order niya ay bumaling muli sa akin. "I know how much you love her, kaya huwag mo sabihing nag kulang ka." She said holding my hand. "We just have to help her." Ngiti niyang sabi and I just took a deep and breath an smiled back at her.

"Ok and thank you."

"I also think she's been like that when she started seeing Seolhyun." Wala sa loob niyang sinabi.

"Seolhyun?" Ulit ko.

"Yes. Seolhyun Kim?" Tanong niya sa akin pero nanatili akong blanko "Yo don't know her?" Tanong niya.

"I...ahm...her name's seems familiar but I don't know..." sagot ko at natawa na siya.

"If Nancy's here malalaman niyang tama ako."

"What?" taka kong tanong.

"She's jealous and insecure over someone na hindi mo nga kilala."

"What do you mean?"

"Seolhyun's one of your models for intimimate apparel lingeries? Ring a bell?" Ulit niya pero parang hindi ko pa rin matandaan ang mukha niya.

"Maybe when I see her baka mamukhaan ko siya." I said truthfully.

"Si Best talaga oo, sana nakikita ka niya ngayon. Kung anong reaksiyon mo." Natatawa niyang sabi. Pero nalilito pa rin ako.

"What's that got to do with Nancy?"

"Since she's working in your company, Nancy thought you often see each other. Kasi we often see her at the mall and other stores that we frequent."

"I only meet them once of twice during contract signing and launching, after that Taeha, the one's in charge in that Business is the one dealing with the models and endorsers." I explained.

"I see. Seolhyun's with us for quite sometime before she worked in your company."

"Now I wonder why you and Nancy weren't in our company."

"Well, there's been issues regarding your company and Tito Richard, right?" Saka ko lang naalala. "Ayaw lang ni Tito na malaman yon ni Nancy, he just asked me to let Nancy chose the things she wants as long as she's out of the shadow of your company."

"I see." Nasabi ko lang saka ko naisip ang tungkol kay Dad at Dada.

"You really love my bestfriend..." She commented while the waiter started serving our order.

"So much." I simply said and we started taking our food.

"Kampante na ako and I hope Nancy, too. One thing I don't get is why that woman keeps on popping up like a popcorn. I mean bigla na lang tatawagin si Nancy habang nasa mall. Tapos aalis din."

"We'll find out why."

-

"Yes Yeonwoo?"

"Come in Taeha"

"What's the urgency?"

"You know Seolhyun Kim?"

"Yes of course...she's one of our endorsers and model of lingeries. Why?"

"Can I know her background?"

"Why?

"I think she has something to do with Nancy's behaviour."

"What do you mean?" Tanong ni Taeha and I let her sit down to tell her about Nancy's condition. "I'm not blaming her, Taeha. Maybe indirectly, she's one of the reasons. Or I'm just getting paranoid."

"I understand, Yeonwoo. There have been rumors about her attitude but when it comes to work, she's very professional."

"I just want to be sure she's not messing up with my wife."

"Sure, Yeonwoo. I'll keep my eyes on her."

"Thanks Taeha."

-

"Hello, honey?"

"Yes, Hon." I answered Nancy's video call.

"Jackson wants to talk to you...he's been asking for you since this morning when he woke up." Nancy said and I immediately stood up. Got excited to see and hear my son's babbling voice.

"Ok, hon. Let me talk to him."

"Hey Jackson look who's with us now?" Then I saw my son crawling up to hold the phone.

"Mam-mi...mam-mi...aaap...app....pey peysh"

"What's that baby?"

"I think he wants to play, honey." Si Nancy.

Jackson's now sitting on Nancy's lap.

"Mam-ma, pey pey...Mam-mi pesh." Si Jackson

"Mommy's at work baby, She can't play with you."

"Mam-mi...caam..pesh pey." Pakiusap ni Jackson at kita na ang namumuong luha sa mata niya. Nataranta na ako.

"Ok, hush now baby, Mommy's coming. Mommy will come now. Wait for me ok?"

Sabi ko sa anak ko at natuwa ng nakita niya akong tumayo dahil nagpipilit din siyang tumayo habang hawak ni Nancy

"App...aap." Sigaw niya na parang gusto sumama at magpa buhat.

"Later, baby. Let's wait for Mommy, ok?" Sabi ni Nancy

"Cam...cam." Sabi niya sabay kaway sa akin at tango. Nakakatuwa siyang tingnan. Parang lalabas ako sa screen ng phone kung tawagin niya.

"Where's Dane? Call her so we can play..." sabi ko na lang para malibang siya.

"Gee...Gee...uh-uh..." sagot niya habang nakatingin sa malayo.

"She's with Mama." Sagot ni Nancy

"Ok...I'll be going home now hon."

"Say byebye to Mommy...we'll wait for her." Baling ni Nancy kay Jackson

"Nuh...nuh...pey phes Mam-mi." Iling ni Jackson na ayaw mag paalam.

"Yes, baby. Mommy's coming. Wait ok? Then we'll play." Suyo ko sa kanya at natuwa naman siya dahil naglalakad na ako. Bago pa ako tuluyang nakalabas ay papasok na si Joy.

"Please cancel my appointment, Joy I need to go home."

"I can't cancel it Yeonwoo, dalawang oras na lang."

"Please tell Mr. Cruz it's urgent."

"But..."

"I will call him." Sabi ko na lang para wala ng discussion at tuluyan na akong naglakad. Dumaan muna ako s office ni Hyebin

"Hi, Hyebin...can you please look over the papers in my desk...Just need to go home." Bungad ko.

"Bakit, brad?" Alala niyang tanong.

"Someone wants to play..."

"Sino?" Takang tanong niya saka iniharap ko ang phone sa kanya. "Hi Jackson!" Sigaw nito na kumakaway pa. "Hi Nancy!" Masiglang bati nito.

"Bin!" Rinig naming sigaw ni Jackson

"Hi Hyebin...Hey, baby say Tita Hyebin..." Turo ni Nancy

"He-bin!" Sigaw ni Jackson at nagtawanan kami.

"Ilang buwan pa brad buo na niya akong matatawag." Biro ni Hyebin

"Hope so, mas naiintindihan ko pa si Dane." Sabi kong natatawa.

"Pey he-bin!" Sigaw muli ni Jackson

"Not now, baby maybe later? Mommy's going home now...Byebye!" Kaway na ni Hyebin

"Bah-bah..." Kaway pabalik ng anak ko.

"Ok brad you can go. Ako ng bahala sa desk mo. It's good to see you rushing home just to play with your kids." Sabi ni Hyebin, she must have observed too. I've been thinking and working so much for their future but at the same time forgetting about the present with my family. After what happend to Nancy I realized it's not enough to provide for them, but to share my time, not only when I get home at night or every Sunday when I have no work but in small moments in between. I will make it up to them, nasabi ko sa sarili ko.