[FEI’S POV]

I looked everywhere soon as I arrived at the lobby. I used with my not-so-big purse to cover my head from the little rain. Not so long, a black colored Subaru came nearer to me and it’s lights. The front window was opened and I saw Yoona’s perfect face came out from the dark and called my name.

“Fei-ya, come in hurry up, the rain’s getting heavier!” she said and half-covered her face.

I nodded quickly and rushed to the back door. I successfully entered the car and sat on the back seat.

“Err... excuse me,” I didn’t know what to say to Yoona’s boyfriend.

The driver (Yoona’s boyfriend) turned around, but I couldn’t see his face clearly, it’s because of the darkness.

“Ah, see? Fei-ssi!”

My heart pounded so fast when I heard the super-familiar voice. When I scanned his face perfectly, I was frozen.

“Eh? You guys already knew each other?” asked Yoona.

“Yeah, we’re in the same club, Yoon.”

“Oh, I see. What a coincidence, hehehe.”

“Ah~ Very small world, right Fei? ...Fei?”

“Y-yeah, what?” I tried my best to reply him. At this point, my heart wasn’t in shape anymore, it was broken into gazillion tiny pieces. Oh wait, not pieces. Freaking ashes.

“I was saying that, this world is very small.”

“Oh, oh, yes... yes,” then he replied my words with that angelic smile.

CRAZY. That was impossible. That was a lie. Siwon is Yoona’s boyfriend, my sister!!! MY SISTER!!! YOONA!!! SIWON!!! MY CRUSH!!! No, that wasn’t happening. That was a dream, I slept in the car, appa picked us up. I pinched my hand hardly but I still couldn’t wake up from this nightmare. I eventually cried. You know how it felt, right? Broken-hearted?

Why? Why it has to be Siwon? Why it has to be Yoona? Why it has to be me? Why? I didn’t know any word to say towards them. I could only stare at the rainy night outside the window. I opened my mouth and tried to let out a voice.

“S-stop,” I said in trembles.

“Sorry, what Fei?” Yoona asked.

I cleared my throat and said, “stop.”

Siwon stopped the car. “What happened, Fei?” he asked.

Without answering his stupid question, I opened the door and ran away eventhough the rain poured heavily.

“Fei, Fei!” Yoona yelled my name and ran outside too.

She tried to catch me and pulled my hand hardly. “What happened to you?? Is there any problem?? It’s raining, you know!!”

I turned around, my tears flowed so hard.

“How... How could you...”

Silence. I guess Yoona was so shocked. Suddenly Siwon came, carried an umbrella on his left hand. I ran quickly left both of them. I heard Siwon called my name.

“Fei! Hey, where are you going??” but I guess Yoona held him. She also didn’t say a word. Huh... I don’t care. I stopped a passing taxi and got in.

***

I was pretty sure that Yoona arrived 5 minutes earlier than me. When I arrived at the main door of my house, I saw Siwon came out from my house, carried that umbrella. He was shocked when he saw me, he grabbed my hands.

“Fei, wait.”

I wasn’t in that mood. I kept silent and set my hands free from his grip. I stomped the ground harshly and went inside my house. I went inside a very quiet room. Usually, it’s not really quiet like this. Eomma saw me with a pleading expression and when she approached me, appa held her with his flat face. I knew it, appa loves his daughters very much, and I guess he understood the situation really well. He decided to let his daughters to be calm first, so then he can ask the problem between us, peacefully. Thanks eomma, appa. I rushed to my room and shut the door. I can’t held it anymore, I cried heavily on my bed, wore the-supposed-to-be-really-pretty gown, but it was wet and dirty. Suddenly, I heard my room’s door was knocked, and this person opened it. I saw Yoona, standing at the edge of my room, wearing PJs. She went inside and sat on my bed.

“Why, why didn’t you tell me about him?” I heard her sobs.

I wiped my tears, “yeah... Why? I’m so stupid that I didn’t tell you about this, haha,” I answered with pleading voice.

“Fei-ya, please, this is not a joke, so don’t laugh... I-I’m sorry for... For taking him away from you...”

For a second I thought, this wasn’t right. Yoona didn’t take him away from me. I calmed down my heart.

“No eonni, you didn’t take him from me, it was all my fault. I didn’t tell you... that Siwon is my crush.”

“I-I was wrong too, Fei. I should’ve told you that I was pretty close to a guy from the very first. Please forgive me, Fei,” she hugged me and cried. She has never been so soft to me like this.

“That’s enough, eonni... You’re not wrong at all,” I patted her back.

She broke the hug, “tomorrow, I’ll tell Siwon to break up.”

I was shocked, “what? N-no-no, eonni, don’t!”

“Fei, it’s for your own’s sake. I don’t wanna be my sister’s crush’s girlfriend.”

“My God, eonni, since when did you love your sister more than your boyfriend?” I giggled.

“But this accident happened for the first time of our lives. I... I just can’t.”

“Yoona eonni! You do love Siwon, right?”

Yoona didn’t speak.

“You love him, right?”

Yoona shook her head.

“No, you’re lying,” I said.

Yoona stared on the floor as she bit her own polished nails.

“You love him so much, right?”

“Ah, jinjja! That isn’t important an—”

“Since when did your love for him isn’t important?” I asked.

She asked back, “how about you? You love him too, aniya? Do you wanna say that your love towards him isn’t important too?”

“Yes, I love him. But Siwon loves you, eonni...”

Yoona squealed, “Fei... please don’t make my guilty feeling become even worse,” she cried again.

“Eonni... you don’t have to. I just lost one step from you.”

Yoona hugged me one more time. “Fei, since when did you become so mature like this...”

I smiled and patted her back again.

“Go take a shower, it’s freezing, you’re going to catch a cold. I... I’ll think about this, alone,” Yoona said and left my room.

I nodded.

***

The next day, after I woke up and took a morning shower, I went to the balcony of my room. Yep, my favorite place to think whenever I have a problem. I felt the gentle wind blew through my hair. Morning air made my brain freshed up and my body felt so comfy. But, my heart still ached. From the balcony, I saw Seulong was stretching, then he saw me back and waved to me. I waved back to him and smiled. Seulong oppa’s glare seemed to know that I wasn’t really well. Hmm, okay I can tell him about this story, later. Moreover, I haven’t tell any word to my friends. Maybe I’ll tell them today. Then I went inside my room and brushed my hair. Suddenly I heard a car stopped by in front of my house. I decided to stroll downstairs.

“Who’s tha—”

Siwon went inside the house.

“Um... Fei, Siwon said that he wanted to talk about this with you,” Yoona said.

Eventually, we went to my room and talked there.

***

“What is it, Siwon-ssi?” I asked.

“Um... Nothing, I just want to talk to you,” he said.

“Huh? Are you sure? It’s okay, just go to the point.”

Siwon seemed to be pretty nervous.

“Chill, Siwon-ssi,” I said and laughed.

“Yeah, um, Fei, I just want to say sorry, because... Because I didn’t realize that you like me. Please forgive me for being such a jerk for you, forgive me beca—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Siwon-ssi, you... You don’t have to apologize.”

“I just feel so stupid, Fei. You’re so nice to me from the start, but still... I didn’t realize it.”

“Dear God, chill, Siwon! I’m nice to you, it’s because we’re friends right?” Yep, friends. Not more.

Siwon kept quiet. “...I’m so happy, Fei, to have a friend like you. You’re nice, mature... I’m happy that we can talk about this calmly.”

I didn’t know why, but I also felt relieved. I felt so sad to him though when he apologized to me. He’s not supposed to.

“So... Friends?” he asked.

I grinned and nodded, “of course.”

We shook our hands, but he pulled me into a warm ‘friends’ hug.

If only he hugged me weeks ago, I must’ve gone crazy. But now, I’m not supposed to. Eventhough it hurts so bad, I have to let this go. Learning from the past, I gotta forget my crush and move on. Fighting, Fei! You can to this![]

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The Truth about everything~

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