Dahyun had considered a lot of things in the last twenty minutes, he had every right to stay in his bedroom and ignore the huge annoyance in his living room. On the other hand, all this anger was interfering with his work, and despite being able to begin the pieces he would submit, anger wasn’t something appealing in a painting with the theme ‘safe place’, which was honestly for the university he wanted the most, so he couldn’t mess it up at all. Three months for the first submission was, arguably, a fair time, but he was trying for multiple universities, suddenly, that time wasn’t enough anymore. 

Downstairs, Jihyo had been nervous, sure, he wasted too much time, and he would accept anything Dahyun decided, but hope was still there and he had to try. It had been twenty minutes and, despite knowing he would have to comply with Joohyun’s demands (the footballer could do a lot of damage, but his venom was what would kill anyone who got on his bad side), he was planning to just sit on the sidewalk and keep waiting no matter how long. Luckily, there was a door being opened and steps coming down the stairs a mere two minutes before he had to leave the house. Dahyun looked tired, and more mature since Jihyo last saw him, maybe it was the tension obvious in the boy’s eyes, but he was still as beautiful as ever.

“You can sit down, no need to stand.” Dahyun said as the other boy stood up to greet him.

“Oh- I-” Jihyo stuttered and sat quickly.

“Look, I really didn’t want to see you, but I can’t afford to keep this up.” The pale boy gestured between them. “So, we’ll talk, and then we both accept whatever comes out of it and move on. Agreed?”

Jihyo was really hesitant about agreeing, he didn’t want to just talk and leave, but he understood it wasn’t really a question. “Agreed.”

“Alright, you may start.” The younger boy sighed tiredly.

“First off, apologies are in order.” Jihyo stood up and bowed the deepest he ever had. “I’m so very sorry about everything I did that brought us here.”

“You don’t even know everything you did, do you?” There is a dark chuckle.

“I may not know it all, but I do regret all of it.” Jihyo doesn’t get swayed.

“I’ll accept your apologies.” Seeing a hopeful look Dahyun is quick to add. “That doesn’t mean anything but that, I’m just accepting it, I’m not forgiving you.”

“I understand.” The older boy nods and sits back down. “I’m just glad you accepted them. Also, I’d like to apologise for Jeju, my mother ordered me to follow her and when I least expected it, we were arriving in Jeju city.”

“Don’t.” The pale boy is cold. “You and I both know very well you could have done something to not go at all, you just wanted to force me to look at you. Much like you are doing today, the difference is, today I’m not as explosive as I was then and I have to get everything out to leave it behind. Consider yourself lucky I’m applying for college this year.”

“Fine, I wanted to go, but I wouldn’t have if I knew you would be stabbing me through the chest for three days and then leave.”

“You are trying to spin this on me now? Because that’s rich. I was a single young man enjoying Jeju to the fullest. You have absolutely no right to say what you just said.”

“I went there for you Dahyun, then I arrive to see you with those-”

“Careful now.”

At the warning, Jihyo rethinks everything he had to say about the girls in Jeju, he was indeed being unfair to them and the tone Dahyun had just used told him he better shut up before the damage is irreversible.

“Fine. But it still drew a knife through my heart and twisted each time.”

“Funny, because we were not together anymore then. But you seemed very keen on it while we were still supposed to be a couple. You did it first, but I had the decency to be single before that.”

“Now, you’re not being very fair.” A lie, and both knew it. “I didn’t cheat.”

“You don’t have to kiss or someone to be cheating, Jihyo. And it doesn’t matter, everyone else believed you did, do you have any idea how degrading the comments were? Did you ever stop to consider how it would reflect on me? How I suddenly became the ‘poor boy who was loving someone who loved everyone else?”

“I didn’t-”

“Of course you didn’t. You can’t, can you?” The poison lacing each word chipped away a little piece of Jihyo’s heart, one at the time. 

“Look, Hyun, I didn’t want things to go like this, and I didn’t think-”

“Exactly, you never thought of anything or anyone besides yourself and your own greed. Look, Jihyo do us both a favor and just open your eyes to the truth. We both know when you are lying.”

“I was happy, alright? I was living new experiences and meeting new people and you wanted to spend time alone with me. I didn’t want to, so I didn’t.”

“Oh, so now it’s all my fault because I wanted us to, you know, date? I wanted us to be a couple for a few moments and that would be a damper in your unchangeable plans so you just decided to pretend you didn’t have a boyfriend?”

“I never said it was your fault, or any of that.” Jihyo was playing a dangerous game now, he knew this was about to blow up in his face, but he was getting angry, why was he the great villain? Dahyun must be guilty of something too, right? “You also stopped calling or texting me!”

“Do you have any idea of when it happened? Or even how many missed calls and texts left on seen there were before I gave up?”

“It doesn’t matter! You gave up too and then just decided to break up through a phone call? Was I supposed to accept it, just like that?”

“Oh, honey” There wasn’t a drop of fondness in that. “it matters the most. You had been ignoring me for anything else for months, Jihyo. You had hundreds of texts left on read, tens of missed calls, I had shown up at your door only to learn you were out with someone else countless times. And you what’s the worst about it all? I was lighting for our relationship for months, and I knew I was fighting alone, but hope was still there.”

“You talk as if you were the sole victim.” Now, this is where Jihyo lost any shred of reason he had left. “What about me?”

“What about you? You were doing whatever you wanted to do, you never considered me at all. You were moving on as if I was last week’s leftovers you forgot in the microwave. You just tossed me and went ahead.”

“Aren’t you being a little unfair here? I was in the relationship too, then you go to Thailand and break up for Lisa?”

“First and foremost, you were absolutely NOT in the relationship. You had walked out of our relationship long before I went to Thailand. Also, you will respect Lisa, she is a dear friend and helped me a lot. I didn’t break up with you for her, I tried with her because I had broken up with you. Never get those mixed up.”

Dahyun was seething, Jihyo knew he had just killed whatever was left of what they had but he refused to admit the truth. He couldn’t be the only one at fault here. He did admit that what he just said about Lisa was unfair, but he had to. 

“Still, you hooked up with her as soon as you hung up the phone.”

“I don’t know which version of things Seungwan gave you, but Lisa had been showing her interest in me long before we both got together. No need for that face, she was always very respectful and never crossed my boundaries.” Dahyun chuckled humorlessly. “I was fixated on you and she understood that, she was content with remaining friends. When I went to Thailand, she treated me so well that I opened my eyes and saw what we had as it really was.”

“And I wasn’t told she was interested in you, why?”

“First, I don’t have to tell you anything, get off that pedestal, it ain’t yours. Then, I knew how bad you are with respecting others when you think you are in the right. Lisa was always great, and she didn’t deserve your little jealousy fit.”

“Still-”

“Still, you aren’t listening to yourself. Look, she showed me what being treated right meant and I wanted to try it with her. But we had been good friends for so long that Thailand was just a way for us both to get the lingering feelings out of our system, we don’t regret a single second of it, but we both saw and agreed that it would be better to stay as friends.”

When Jihyo said nothing, Dahyun continued, he had to speak his mind and get it out before leaving it behind him.

“You know, Jihyo, you were a better boyfriend when we weren’t dating. But that’s neither here nor there, I just wanted you to know. You walked out of our relationship first, you left me first, you decided that I wasn’t enough first. Now, you don’t get to come here and throw a tantrum because I’m a toy you never wanted to lose. It will take some time, but I promise to let go of the bad feelings I have for you, but we can’t go back to what we had, any of it.”

“What do you mean?” Jihyo looks scared for the first time in the conversation.

“I mean you betrayed me, Jihyo. You broke my trust, my heart and my dignity. I can’t be your boyfriend at all, but I also can’t be your friend right now. Maybe I’m being unfair or selfish, but I have to think about me here. I have to put myself first and I can’t have you in my life like before anymore. We have the same friends, meeting you is almost inevitable, but I don’t want to be anywhere close to you anymore.”

“Are you serious?” The taller boy scoffs. “You are just leaving? Just like that?”

“It’s no different than what you did yourself months ago. But I’m ending things the proper way, not just ghosting you and expecting you to keep tied to me. Look, it doesn’t have to be harder than this, just accept the decision you made back then and I made back in Thailand and walk away. It’s the best for us both.”

“The best for you, you mean.” 

Jihyo stands up and storms to the door, Dahyun knew it would happen at some point, but he was glad he could get everything out before that. The pale boy really didn’t want to have this conversation again, so he followed quickly. As Jihyo was fixing his shoes, Dahyun had one last reminder.

“Don’t forget, we both accept everything here and move on. Don’t look back now, Park Jihyo.”

The last part was said with fondness, which took the wrestler by surprise, but he was stubborn, he rose to his full height and walked away without looking back. Dahyun was sad to watch the door close behind the boy he loved, but he wasn’t himself when he was with Jihyo, and he didn’t like that person. This was for the better, even if the other boy didn’t see it now. 

With a relieved sigh, Dahyun reached into his pocket for his phone and pressed the button.