Chapter 24

(continues some time later in Seulgi&Irene's room)

- Ask away. - was the first thing Seulgi said after an hour of silence.

- I want to know everything about Sehun's death. - it's time we sort things out. Seulgi leaned forward in her seat and put her elbows on her knees, hands intertwined. I was sitting comfortably on the bed.

- It was his ticket to new life. He needed to die to be reborn. Though it was only his body that died. What Sehun is and who Sehun is was not harmed. His body was pretty much dead. But he received another. You've seen him today. A nicely done copy, don't you agree?

So Sehun lied. It wasn't a copy of his, it was his real body that got buried. Why did he hide the truth?

- Is he really my brother? 

- In flesh he might not be. For it is handmade. In mind, he is your brother.

- There were weird things in his behavior. Why?

- An inevitable change. He was killed. Would be weird if it didn't change him.

Okay, so the man I met today was indeed my brother, but in a slightly different body, though visibly it was identical. And he has somewhat defects after getting killed. Right. 

- Are you like him? - how did she transfer Sehun's being from one body to another? Did Kazou and all of her clients also get such bodies? Is this what Seulgi does? Gives people new bodies, like a new start? 

- We are different, Joohyun. - Seulgi's eyes turned cold for a brief moment. But I caught that. A sensitive topic, I see. - The damage is incomparable.

What does she mean, damage? What kind of damage? Like the defects, I mean weird quirks, that Sehun has? But Seulgi is far from that. She's so composed and strong. How can she say that the damage is incomparable? Who's more damaged she or Sehun? Must be her though. But... why? How?

- Why did you give Sehun another chance? I thought you took payment for your services.

- Sehun paid. And is still paying. What does one have when everything is lost? - I could feel Seulgi's mind gears picking up speed. Her genius is about to go off.

- Themselves? - I tried guessing.

- How do we know they have themselves? Having oneself is difficult, Joohyun. To have yourself you gotta know every aspect of yours. Every flaw, every scar, every fear. Every strength, every memory, every thought. Sehun did not have himself. He was lost. But not as much as the majority. At least he kept evolving in some field. That alone made him special. - Seulgi took a pause. She got pulled into her raging thoughts. - He had his freedom, Joohyun. He did not cherish it much, but he had it. That became his price. 

This explains why Sehun is locked inside that lab. Is he there for all eternity? Is there an end once you 'transferred'? 

- Any other questions that do not involve you brother? - why is Seulgi so eager to avoid talking about Sehun? I guess that's a question for another time. I've already gotten more than expected.

- How have you and Taeyeon met? - this question has been bothering me since today's breakfast. It really doesn't give me peace. Keeps on bugging me.

- She killed my family. - Seulgi's tone got harsh for a moment.

Well, that's shocking. Seulgi and Taeyeon are on good terms and do business together. Taeyeon even invited us into her home! I'm beyond confused... How can Seulgi be this civil with the person who killed her family? Unless her family was a bunch of uncaring bastards.

- Why'd she do that? How come are you... friends?

- Friends is an overstatement. We are partners. Business partners. That's where our relationship starts and ends. And the first question is not mine to answer. You can ask Taeyeon.

- But wasn't she your teacher? 

- That's in the past. - Seulgi sighed. - Taeyeon has my outmost respect. She's a person who always reaches her goal. Who never loses. Taeyeon is a person of principles. And she always keeps her word. That doesn't mean she isn't dangerous. But I also am not a saint.

- Why do you sound like the past doesn't matter to you? 

- The past is a very import part of anyone's life. Isn't it? - Seulgi smirked lightly. - The past defines who we are. The past is how we were built. Our memories are us. Without them, we'd be different. Take one person, erase his memory and you'll get a completely different one. But he'd have conscious. He wouldn't be stupid. It's just his upbringing would differ. And that's a drastic change in his destiny. Wouldn't you agree?

- Are we nothing without our memories? - I am rather curious about this. The way Seulgi views memories is unusual. Well, Seulgi is unusual as a whole. What is it with Seulgi and memories? Am I missing something?

- No. There is something. However if you wipe out absolutely everything. Even the basics, like speech and education. You would get a total baby for whom this world would be completely new. His soul would be same. Everything depends on the upbringing. Who you become in the future depends of what you did in the past. And who you are in the present also depends on that. Though there's an illusion that people believe in. That they own their present. But what is present? Present is just a dot on the timeline. And that dot is the present, the past and the future at the same time. Depending on the point of view. So how can we say that we can change who we are now? Now is a moment that no one is capable of holding. At your current now you may only affect your future self. 

- Then why do you let go of past so easily? Does it not define you?

- Joohyun, don't be silly. - Seulgi turned serious. - I just told you that you cannot believe in the illusion of 'now'. The past is who you are. In present you can only fix yourself for the future. Once you say that your past does not define you, you commit a terrible lie. Because ever second of your present will become past. For example ten years ago you were arrogant. Then five years ago you said "I'm not like that. I won't let the past define me." At the moment it really does seem like you are defying your past, throwing it away. But if you look at the situation considering that a moment is a just a dot on the timeline, everything changes. You say "I started a new life." But your future self would still be defined by the past. The past you decline was what led you to the change. How can you say it's meaningless when it made you into who you are? If not for it, you wouldn't have decided to change and turn into your present self. 

- Sorry. - I lowered my head. I made a mistake.

- Don't be. - that made me look at Seulgi. - This is a hard thing to understand. But I believe you'll get it in time. I am sorry for getting into something so complicated.

- It isn't complicated! - I rushed to stop Seulgi from apologizing. How can she apologize when she did nothing wrong?! Ain't her fault I'm slowwitted... - I mean, I like it when you get into hard stuff. It's what makes my brains really start running. You are fascinating when you start explaining things. The way your face changes and your eyes catch fire. It's so captivating. Don't apologize. Please.

- I won't. 

I noticed Seulgi's eyes grow a shade darker. She stood up and slowly walked towards me. I didn't know what to do and what to expect. I honestly started feeling self-conscious and jumpy. She stopped right before me and bended over to put her face right before mine. A couple inches away. Her breath hit my face. She just stared at me with those dark icy blue eyes of hers and I felt myself getting lost in them. At the moment all that mattered were her eyes. Everything faded into a blurry mess and only Seulgi's orbs held meaning.

- I liked what you said. - Seulgi broke the silence. - It felt good. 

Her face was still so dangerously close to mine. I parted my lips to say something, but couldn't. I was rendered speechless. How can a human be so beautiful? This is just unfair.

- I...

Before I could say anything Seulgi has captured my mouth with hers. My mind stopped working and I felt a mess. I stared wide eyed into Seulgi's eyes as she moved her lips against mine. Then her eyelids slid close and I just couldn't stop myself. I wrapped my arms around her neck and closed my eyes savoring the feeling... and taste. 

I pulled her by the nape and her hands landed by my sides. My back was sliding down the headboard as I hungrily kissed Seulgi's lips. In a split of a moment Seulgi was on top of me crushing me with her weight. I didn't mind one bit. I didn't care. At all. I was kissing the Kang Seulgi. And it felt absolutely ing amazing. I needed the moment to last forever. I wanted it to never end.

Getting lost in the moment, I bit down on Seulgi's lips earning a growl. She bit back and I gasped. Making use of the parting, Seulgi slipped her tongue in my mouth and fireworks went off all over my being. I tried to pull Seulgi even closer, tightening my hold around her neck. 

To say that I was gone would be an understatement. It was as if I lived and breathed just for this freaking moment. Just for this kiss. My mind was as blank as a freshly made paper at some factory. I didn't even comprehend what my hands or the rest of my body did. I only felt my mouth being devoured by Seulgi. Who was an incredible kisser. 

I don't know how long our make out session would have lasted for... Because! We were rudely interrupted by a loud knock on the door! The ing timing! Really?! Of all the times in the world, why now?!

Seulgi pulled away but didn't get off of me. She turned her head towards the door and literally growled. That baritone was something else!

- Who's that?!

- Mrs Kim requested to tell you that the time has come. She'll be waiting for you at her office. - some male staff said and I could hear his steps as he walked away. Seulgi's head whipped back to me. My breath got caught in my throat. Her eyes were almost black and glowing with something I've never seen. It was most definitely lust. Kang Seulgi was lusting over me! Oh my God...

- This is not over! - Seulgi rasped out, stood up, fixed her attire and dashed out the room.

And I laid there propped on my elbows staring at the door Seulgi disappeared into. Then I fell back onto the sheets and stared blackly at the ceiling. I tried to process what just happened. My mind was mushy and not really working. And the feeling of being kissed was still lingering on my lips. I lifted my hand to trace the area. A crazy smile spread on my face as I shivered remembering Seulgi's last words.

I'm screwed...