RESET

 

CHAPTER 36: Lie Again

 

DK stayed but Jeonghan never perceived his presence. Jeonghan woke up very weak with Ye Jun beside him that morning. But somehow, he thought he was embraced by an angel during the cold night and had his confidence and dedication back like it wasn’t damaged anymore.

 

Meanwhile, DK went back to the dorm in the morning with too much rage in his heart. It was the first time he felt that way. The moment he stepped inside their house and saw Mingyu who had just gotten up, he took no pause and walked towards the tall one as fast as he could and punched him without any hesitation. Mingyu bounced from the wall to the table with the impact, creating ruckus that got all their attention. It was so sudden no one was ready. However, DK didn’t stop there. He grabbed Mingyu’s collar and punched him again. People could feel the tension. It was more serious than they could see.

 

People were really dumbfounded. They have never seen DK acting like that. They knew nothing about his reason but it was somehow reached DK’s limit. He was the kindest of all. If he acted violently, he should have a heavy reason.

 

“Hey!” Joshua shouted because he was alerted. Also worried that they would injure themselves bad. However, Mingyu who was surprised with the attack became angry as well. He grabbed the other’s collar as he threw a punch on DK’s cheeks.

 

Seungcheol was getting anxious with what he’s witnessing. He had to interfere. “Hey! What’s going on?!” he shouted as he used his strength to  

 

Wonwoo and Jihoon felt a kick on their gut when they saw the two fight.

 

Despite the effort Seungcheol forced himself with to stop the two, DK seemed he wanted to hit Mingyu until he was satisfied. “You bastard, son of a !” stated DK in anger.

 

Meanwhile Mingyu who was clueless and pissed of how DK acted shouted back. “What’s your problem?! Huh? What the !”

 “Enough!” shouted Seungcheol. “Can somebody tell me what’s happening in here?”

 

“He’s insane!” stated Mingyu in annoyance.

 

However, DK’s eye seemed covered with red that time. He was not speaking but his actions might kill somebody. He was charging again when Wonwoo embraced to strain him.

 

“What’s wrong, DK? Calm down.” uttered Wonwoo.

 

“Calm down?” answered DK in anger. “This man-“ pointing at Mingyu “told Jeonghan hyung to get lost!” he shouted.

 

“What?” Seemed people were missing something in DK’s bold statement.

 

“That ing idiot told Jeonghan straight to his face that he doesn’t want him anymore! That he wished they’ve never meet and should never will be! Damn it! You know how painful it is?” DK was exasperating as he tried to calm his senses. “You asked him to disappear! You made him feel unwanted, you fool!”

 

“What?” even Mingyu was surprised with what DK accused him of doing.

 

“Jeonghan is sick! How dare you!”

 

“DK!” Seungcheol shouted. “Stop this right now!” he commanded trying to get them to calm first before they talk.

 

“Fine! I’m not surprised you wanted it too. it! !” with fist clutched tight, DK wanted to punch the wall instead. “You both just didn’t care at all.” he murmured with gritted teeth.

 

Seungcheol was offended to what the other said to him. “Say that again and you will see!” He threatened.

 

“Explain your actions DK.” Joshua demanded.

 

DK shoved Joshua’s hand off him. “I am not the one whom you should ask.” Looking at Mingyu sharply. “That bastard hurt Jeonghan hyung! He’s gone beyond the line. Way too much. Jeonghan is sick for goodness sake! Is this the ‘US’ he did come back for?” greatly disappointed on them.

 

“Say, what did you do, Mingyu?” asked Wonwoo to Mingyu.

 

“Look at his phone so you can see.” Revealed DK.

 

Mingyu was the first one to seek for it. For the truth. He looked upon his messages. Particularly the recent one. It was sent to Jeonghan and it was definitely a shock, a traumatic one. Even Mingyu jolted in fear. “No.” he uttered remorsefully. “! No!”

 

“Now you know what you’ve done!” grunted DK.

 

Despite DK’s insult, Mingyu did nothing because now, he realized what he’s terribly done. He became speechless as he was completely sober from the beer he drunk from the last night. He became frantic. He didn’t know what to do. He pushed himself to the wall trembling.

 

All who witnessed him had this uneasiness growing in their heart. “What is it?” wondered the other. Even Jihoon was worried.

 

Mingyu was trembling in anger as he punched the wall with his fist. “! !” He even threw his phone so hard, leaving it completely wrecked on the floor, as if he was disgusted.

 

Then they knew it was something terrible. “!” Mingyu shouted as he cried.

 

It was serious. They could sense. Wonwoo, who’ve been trying to protect Jeonghan charged and grabbed Mingyu’s collar. “What did you do, Mingyu?” he uttered with a tight jaw.

 

“I messed up, hyung. I-I’m sorry.” knees went heavy feeling the gravity he’s caused not only for Jeonghan but for the whole team. “I can’t face him anymore.”

 

“What is it?” asked Jihoon trembling as well. He has never seen his beloved team this chaotic. He got Mingyu’s phone to open but it seemed totally wrecked, he couldn’t open it.

 

Mingyu was crying on Wonwoo’s arms full of remorse. His energy drained so much, he couldn’t utter any word.

 

Looking at how grave the situation was, the older ones became so speechless as their minds were blocked, they could feel the exhaustion upon the chaos.

 

“It’s gone.” uttered Jihoon with soft and disappointed tone. They’ve worked so hard to keep Seventeen as a family. Now, it suddenly disappeared. Just like that. Jihoon went back to his room and curled himself in darkness ones again. He cried his eyes out without no one seeing. It pained him.

Seungcheol suddenly had his panic attacks, Joshua had to rescue. He left Wonwoo to calm DK, Mingyu and Jihoon while he’s attending to Seungcheol who was having difficulty breathing. Seungcheol cried in the process. His heart couldn’t take it anymore. Just like how Jihoon must have felt that moment. After he was calmed down, as a leader, he went to look after Jihoon first because he knew that that man was suffering alone and quietly.

 

“Hey.” witnessing the poor Jihoon curled at the corner, Seungcheol could feel a pinch on his heart. “I know you’ve been through a lot.” approached the man as he seated beside him and embraced him tenderly. “We can get through this. Hang on. Let me sort things out.”

 

“It is all over.” Jihoon spoke as he cried.

 

“No.” Seungcheol hushed the poor boy. “I know it hurts. It was part my mistake. I shouldn’t have made things complicated like this. Forgive me.” contemplated Seungcheol.

 

“I know you are hurt too.”

 

“Yes but the rest of you are suffering because of my incompetence and selfishness. I should be the one protecting you.”

 

“You’ve been sick and we understood it well.”

 

“Yeah. I’ve been taking care of it. I’m too focused on myself, I neglected you. I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to.” Jihoon snuggled on Seungcheol’s arms.

 

“I will fix this.” Seungcheol let out a deep sigh realizing that Jeonghan must have been their core all this time.

 

Despite the sadness and anguish conquering their dorms, they received a message saying “Are we still going to have practice today? Was I the only one not informed? I’m already here. No one is here.”

 

“We are almost there. Dorm 1 people are not yet there?” replied Hoshi.

 

“Not a single soul.” replied Jeonghan at their group chat.

 

“We overslept.” answered, surprisingly, by Seungcheol. Joshua was confused but it’s better to lie that to get people worried.

 

“I see. See you!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Before going to work, Seungcheol asked his men to be discreet until they’ve sort out things. They all agreed.

 

 

PRACTICE ROOM_

 

They were all complete. Awkwardly normal, especially to Mingyu, DK and Jeonghan. Mingyu couldn’t look at Jeonghan. Not even on his shadows. He was ashamed of what he did. He didn’t mean it but no matter how he would have explained the misunderstanding, it was useless since the damage has been done. Mingyu was aware how bad the effect would be to Jeonghan. He was drunk. He knew it wasn’t an excuse but he wished he could turn back the time. The tall puppy wanted to apologize on his knees but his embarrassment and guilt drove him farther from Jeonghan.

 

At the end of the day, Mingyu couldn’t find a way to talk to Jeonghan. It was impossible with the crowd and their intense practice. He tried to but it was impossible that day until Jeonghan left and went home.

 

“Have you talked to Jeonghan yet?” asked Joshua in discreet.

 

“I didn’t have the chance. I do not deserve his forgiveness.” with guilt enveloping his heart. “I did terrible. I cannot just say sorry.” Mingyu became sad.

 

“I didn’t know what you’ve told him but I swear if it would endanger his life, I won’t forgive you.” said Joshua sharply in a serious tone.

 

“I should’ve listened to you, hyung.”

 

“That’s what I told you! Liquors doesn’t bring any good, Mingyu.” Joshua scolded which everyone heard yet half of them didn’t understand why. The people in dorm 2 had no idea why Joshua was in a foul mood, as well as, DK. It was the first time it happened. It scared them. Noone would talk either, so they kept hanging in the air.

 

Mingyu couldn’t help but to blame himself. He was stuck in his place. The poor boy thought he made their situation worst. He was in great anxiety that time as members leave one by one. Seungcheol came to him. He didn’t know what exactly Mingyu had said but he chose not to hear it. DK’s violent reaction was enough to tell them how bad the situation was. As he observed Jeonghan earlier Seungcheol knew the man was either pretending to be okay or had forgotten what Mingyu had said. Taking all the blame as a leader, he sighed heavily thinking of how he could mend his team he loved so much. He didn’t scold Mingyu because he didn’t want the younger to feel what he’s feeling with anxiety. He chose to embrace him like what he did with Jihoon and tapped the taller’s back. “I will fix this, Mingyu. Let me work this out. Get your bruises some patch. They’re showing. I couldn’t imagine DK could hit you that hard.”

 

“I deserve it.”

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JEONGHAN’S RENTED APARTMENT_

 

Ye Jun was with Jeonghan to accompany that night. They were both in tranquil beside each other when Ye Jun felt a sharp pain in his head. He was screaming in pain. Jeonghan knew it was excruciating from the way he sees it. He tried to call the doctor but Ye Jun assured that he’d be fine in a while like always. Few minutes had already past but the pain Ye Jun was experiencing seemed getting worst.

 

Jeonghan insisted to bring Ye Jun to the hospital. He was in panic when he saw the man curved in pain as his breathing became heavy. “Hang in there.” Jeonghan called Eric but he was out of reach. He then turn to call the ambulance but they were minutes away. “Please hurry!”

 

Wonwoo, on the other hand, was right by Jeonghan’s door when he heard the cry. He was only supposed to bring some food and to check upon Jeonghan when he got caught in their situation. Wonwoo rushed to open the door as soon as he heard the commotion. It was obvious that Ye Jun was suffering from great pain while Jeonghan was in panic. He called Eric a number of times after knowing that the ambulance was on their way. Good thing Dr. Eric saw his phone as he prepared a room for Ye Jun to stay.

 

HOSPITAL_

 

“You okay?” asked Wonwoo to the crying Jeonghan. His trembling won’t go away. He was obviously scared.

 

Jeonghan nodded as an answer. However, since the commotion had caused an immediate reaction from his nerves, his body started blotting red. Wonwoo was extremely worried and called for Dr. Eric. It even caused another nose bleed.

 

“Hey, you need to relax. Ye Jun hyung will be fine.” Wonwoo assured.

 

“It’s getting worse.” Jeonghan murmured as he stared blankly in the air. “I cannot live like this anymore. I need to finish my business.” feeling the time keeps getting faster on their side.

 

On the other hand, Wonwoo was greatly frightened when Jeonghan sounded like he’s going to die. Like he’s just counting his time and was rushed to mend things he needed to. “We will find cure, hyung. For now, I need you to calm down and trust Dr. Eric like you always do.”

 

Despite that Jeonghan wasn’t getting calmer. His breathing has been heavy since they’ve arrived. “I need to hurry.” he murmured repeatedly as if he didn’t hear Wonwoo.

 

It took a while to calm Jeonghan down to sleep. Wonwoo was alone looking after the two of them. Joshua became worried when Wonwoo had gone unreachable. He called many times but no answer at all. Finally, when Wonwoo got the chance to answer, he saw a line-up of numerous calls and text from Joshua and Seungcheol.

 

“Where are you?” asked Joshua upon receiving a call from Wonwoo at last.

 

“We are in the hospital right now.”

 

“What happened?” worried Joshua.

 

“Ye Jun hyung got the attack. I already calmed Jeonghan hyung down. He’s sleeping now… Hyung, I think, Jeonghan hyung needs to know the truth.”

 

Joshua sighed. He thought he couldn’t agree more. “I’ll go there in a minute.”

 

“Bring some clothes. Jeonghan hyung stained his clothes with blood again.”

 

Joshua took a few shirts to his backpack and went out late night without letting anyone know. Meanwhile, Seungcheol noticed him as he was resting by the living room, also wondering where Wonwoo could be. Joshua seemed to be in a hurry. Seungcheol thought it might be Jeonghan so it kept him worried.

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Jeonghan woke up in distress a short while after Joshua arrived. As much as Joshua and Wonwoo wanted Jeonghan to rest, there were lots of issue they need to tackle. Since Wonwoo told Joshua how serious Jeonghan felt so rushed given the uncertainty of his situation, they decided to tell everything right now.

 

They waited until Jeonghan calmed down before sitting him for a talk. “Jeonghan, we know you gave up your allowance to give us raise.”

 

“No. it’s not me.” Jeonghan denied. “Besides, you deserve it.”

 

“Don’t deny it.” Wonwoo was convinced. “Some of us decided to return it back to you.”

 

“No. I don’t need it anymore.”

 

“It’s because you are thinking not of your future anymore. We don’t want you to give up.” Joshua said.

 

“But, we don’t know anything for certain. What’s important is I at least mend my wrong doings.” Jeonghan insisted.

 

“Some of us already signed for petition to use it for your hospitalization.”

 

“No. I cannot accept that.”

 

“Jeonghan. I don’t think this is a choice.” stated Joshua as he sighed. “We have to discuss to you lots of concerns that we should have told you from the very beginning.”

 

Jeonghan listened while Joshua discussed what happened to Ye Jun after an unauthorized operation by the two head doctors. Jeonghan was definitely in shock and yet he had to address another concern regarding Seungcheol as well. Joshua explained how bad his anxiety has become. His depression was consuming him that might result to a weaker mind and body. Wonwoo, on the other hand was surprised with that revelation. He was aware something was wrong with their leader but he didn’t know that it took a toll out of him.

 

“Why didn’t he tell us?” appealed the two.

 

“You know him. He’d kill me if he knew I said it to you.”

 

“I am sorry we’ve made you very busy.” said Jeonghan.

 

“Do not be. It is my turn to do good things for the team.” smiled Joshua. “I’m leaving Wonwoo to you for the meantime. But don’t hesitate to you call me. Anytime.”

 

DORM 1_

 

Seungcheol was still up. it’s three in the morning and nobody has returned yet. They didn’t even bother call. He’s getting anxious. He did call. Many times but no one’s answering the phone. He’s getting agitated as time pass by but no one was still returning his calls.

 

On the other hand, Joshua and Wonwoo thought Seungcheol was aware. They kept frozen while their phone rang. They were avoiding Seungcheol. Joshua texted instead ‘We’ll meet you at the practice room. Wonwoo and I needed a little talk.’ Which Seungcheol didn’t buy at all.

 

Since Seungcheol knew Joshua and Wonwoo were lying. He bravely called Jeonghan. Also to see if he’s good. He didn’t want bad things to happen to him. He’s mad but he didn’t wish for someone’s misery as well.

 

Little did Joshua and Wonwoo know, Jeonghan was talking on the phone with Seungcheol as of the moment. They never thought he’d call Jeonghan.

 

“Hi. Are you with Joshua and Wonwoo?” asked the man sternly on the phone.

 

“Yes. I’m sorry. I had to call them.”

 

“Where are you exactly? Those idiots won’t answer.”

 

“Uh- umm, we are in the hospital because Ye Jun got sick. Sorry.”

 

Seungcheol felt guilt over rejecting Ye Jun the last time they met. However, all he wanted to wish was “Please tell him to get better.”

 

“Thank you. You too. I mean, you should eat well.”

 

“I will. You too. Thanks.”

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All were present in the practice room that day but the boys were getting unstable, especially that Mingyu and DK haven’t fixed their issues yet. The fact that, Mingyu hasn’t talk to Jeonghan to clear out the hate message he sent. Most of all, they were still uncomfortable with the situation.

 

Seungcheol went to Mingyu to check on the weak soul, making sure he won’t have a breakdown. “Hey. You alright?”

 

“No. I’m such a jerk!” Mingyu grunted.

 

“Maybe you are but Mingyu, you can’t face him like that. Take the responsibility.”

“And you should to.” answered Mingyu in annoyance. Again, without thinking because at that moment he was thinking of the fact that Seungcheol and Jeonghan might have done what they shouldn’t have.

 

“I am and I will face it as soon as possible.” said Seungcheol as he frowned. “Now get yours done. Get me?”

 

“You think, I can’t handle mine?” replied the insulted Mingyu.

 

“From what I can see? Yeah!” Seungcheol responded arrogantly as he left.

 

Normal practice. Normal schedule. Not normal people. It was exhausting breathing in a toxic place with full of hate. Seungcheol was tired. He couldn’t even gather his energy to maintain his stance as he crumbled on his knees. His breathing became heavy to the point his mind couldn’t catch some oxygen to remain conscious. “.” He murmured. “Not now.” He couldn’t faint at the moment. He called Soon Young for a moment.

 

“Soon Young, I will have to take a break.” thriving to follow up for big heavy breathes, Soon Young could see that Seungcheol was suffering. “Go ask Jeonghan if he could still practice with you. He had therapy yesterday, am I right?” talking based on Jeonghan’s old therapy routine.

 

“Huh? Did he have therapy? That’s strange. I thought it reduced into two sessions per week.” with surprised expression. “He had a new therapy hyung, no one to-“ his revelation got cut because Joshua needed to stop their little cub.

 

 “Soon Young?” called Joshua with a grinning weird face. He approached him and pinched Soon Young’s cheeks.  “Aigoo, adorable strawberry cheeks. Care to join us in lunch?” in order not to spill too much.

 

Now, the younger’s attention was on Lunch since he’s very hungry. “Yeah. I want!” He nodded. “Then, let’s go.”

 

As Joshua pulled the boy up, Seungcheol pulled Soon Young’s other hand to stop “Cheol, let my baby go?”

 

“He’s mine. Talk to me cub.” asked Seungcheol with a serious tone.

 

Soon Young was getting fired at and now he’s sweating more than the amount he was during the rehearsal.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” asked Joshua.

 

“About Jeonghan’s therapy.” Stated Seungcheol. “I need an update.”

 

“Professionalism, I see.” Joshua went down to talk. “He’s doing another therapy because that previous doesn’t work anymore. Jeonghan has two times per week schedule now. Half day… You get what you want, now hands off my cub.”

 

“What’s his new therapy?” asked Seungcheol curiously, still holding Soon Young.

 

“Dr. Eric uses some kind of electricity.” answered Joshua brief. Soon Young became fascinated.

 

“Jeonghanie hyung could be the Flash in the future.” stated Soon Young in awe.

 

“No. Honey. It might kill you, so if you don’t need it. Don’t dream of it.” Joshua smiled at Soon Young. “Let’s go now.”

 

“Did he have an attack?” asked Seungcheol.

 

“Member’s attack. Very often. Yeah.” He wasn’t the provocative type of guy but, sometimes, it just happen that you need to.

 

Seungcheol was definitely triggered as he pull Joshua’s collar up. “Are you trying to insult me?”

 

“Nope. Just telling the truth.” Answered Joshua coolly.

 

“Stop!” shouted Jeonghan. “Joshua, let’s go now. Time is ticking.”

 

Seungcheol loosen up his grip not because he wanted to but he felt light headed. He lost his balance, dragging along both Joshua and Soon Young on his fall.  

 

Despite being hurt from the fall, Joshua prioritized Seungcheol than Soon Young because he knew it was his limit. “I’m sorry, I went too far. You okay?… You should rest. Let me handle the kids for now.” assisted Seungcheol on a comfortable spot in the room. The scene had the members worry.

 

“I’m fine. I guess I am too exhausted.” admitted Seungcheol.

 

“I am calling it a day for you. Rest either here or home.” Joshua started commanding here and there. The members were tensed because of the trauma they’ve experienced from him the last time he’s in charge. Joshua had this image of being a dictator and everything he wanted to be done gets done the soonest.

 

“I’m staying.” replied Seungcheol in a weak tone.

 

“Dino! Get a comfortable chair. Get me his medicine too.” Dino rushed because he’s scared.

 

“Ya. Make sure to do my duties properly. Don’t scare the kids out.” Seungcheol murmured.

 

“We’ll bring you food.” looking at Soon Young who was frozen by his side. “Hoshi, get him a good food will you? I’ll wait for you here so we can eat together.”

 

Soon Young nodded helplessly.

 

“Don’t. I’m not in the mood to eat.”

 

“Sorry. It’s my reign.” Joshua stated.

 

Seungcheol just gave in.

 

“Vernon. Get a mineral water for Seungcheol.”

 

“Be right back.” said Vernon in a hurry.

 

“Why don’t we order food here so we can monitor and eat together.” suggested Seungkwan.

 

“That would do.” Joshua agreed.

 

 “Geez. Why can’t you let me be in peace?” Seungcheol murmured.

 

They ordered their food in the practice room and eat altogether. Despite being scattered, at least the older ones could monitor every one.

 

Dino went whispering to Vernon “You think, Joshua hyung would take this management lightly? His reign is freaking me out.”

 

“I am not sure. Do you see a tone down right there?” Vernon looking suspiciously at Joshua like a bad guy.

 

“Nuh uh.” Dino answered. Seungkwan agreed as well.

 

During the silence, since Joshua could feel dullness inside the room, he shouted “Why can’t anybody have a music?” as a tease.

 

Minghao was startled.

 

“What music do you want, your majesty?” asked Jun as he acted like a servant.

 

“English pop.”

 

“Let the music begin.” Said Seungkwan and turned their TV on for some MV viewing.

 

“He’s definitely a tyrant.” Wonwoo murmured.

 

“I agree.” said Jihoon and Soon Young as they went back to eating.

 

“Hey, you and Mingyu okay?” asked Wonwoo to DK by his side.

 

“No. I hate him right now. Can’t even look at him at all.”

 

“Nobody wants to look at him since the very beginning.” He teased bringing curiosity out of his friend’s mind.

 

“Why?”

 

“He’s ugly. Look. He’s eating his own nails. Disgusting.”

 

DK sighed feeling hopeless with Wonwoo. “You are weird, hyung.”

 

“I am definitely handsome.”

 

“Yeah, right.” Said DK in a sarcastic tone and back to eating.

 

Meanwhile, Jeonghan was looking at the quiet Jihoon. He’s been his concern since the fight. He knew how hurt Jihoon must have felt. Poor Jihoon gave his full trust to him but he did not take good care of it. Jeonghan was ready to receive all his anger like Mingyu did. They have the right to say so.

 

While the music was on hype, Jeonghan heard a high pitched tone in his ear that went all up to his head making him jolt as if something stung him. Since he was in the corner, only few saw him. Including the person who was about to go near him for a formal apology. Dino.

 

“Something hurt you?” asked Dino who immediately sat down in front of him.

 

Seeing that the younger was worried, even though he couldn’t hear much, Jeonghan smiled. “Nothing. Just a sharp tone. But no worries.” As he involuntarily squint.

 

“Can you see?”

 

Jeonghan has been adjusting his sight but thank goodness, it’s getting into normal including his hearing. “I’m fine. Just few adjustments.”

 

“Hyung. I am sorry I acted like a jerk.” Dino bravely opened up.

 

“That’s nothing. I understand.”

 

“No. I mean. It was way offensive.”

 

“No worries about that. Thank you Dino.”

 

“Honestly, hyung… I’m still upset but I don’t like what’s happening.”

 

“Dino, you are more important. Take your time. I hurt you a lot so I should be the one who’s supposed to apologize.” Held the boy’s hand. “Thank you for being brave.”

 

“But I just want to tell you that no matter what, I’m still here with you.”

 

“I know.”

 

While Dino and Jeonghan were talking, Jihoon took a glance from the mirror. Outside, he seemed he didn’t care but at back of his mind, he’s weighing whether he’d let love or disappointment rule in his heart.

 

After the practice, Jeonghan received a call. It was Dr. Eric informing him that Ye Jun took another surgery because of the urgency. He also informed that Ye Jun was still in coma. With the news, Jeonghan had to run back to the hospital under an approved permission from Seungcheol and Joshua since he’s already done with the recording with HIT.

 

HOSPITAL_

 

Since Ye Jun was stable as of now, all they needed to do now was wait. Eric told Jeonghan that he already figured out what went wrong from the previous operation. Thank goodness, he acquired the studies, research, observation as well as the journal of their previous doctor when they were young. From there, he sorted things out. He opened Ye Jun to fix a little nerve, hoping he’d be fine as soon as he wakes up. However, there’s no guarantee when he’d wake up or if he’d have lesser to none attacks. It would still occur but not as bad as he’s been experiencing lately. It would be better if he’d wake up before another attack could come. Otherwise, it would be complicated.

 

Jeonghan then had in mind, since he couldn’t finance his treatment anymore due to lack of funds, why not undergo clinical trial like Ye Jun since everything he’s doing is also defined as a trial and error treatment. So he ask “Dr. Eric, if I sign up in the clinical trial, you think that’d help me and Ye Jun?”

 

“Oh no, Jeonghan. Please don’t do that. It’s very dangerous that’s why I’m getting Ye Jun out of it.I never thought they have different goals.”

 

“Things are uncertain anyway. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Eric. I trust you so much. All I wanted to say is the more cases you have, the more chances of getting the treatment right, isn’t it?”

 

“Let me think about it. I’m afraid there’s politics inside our organization, Jeonghan. They’re putting people’s life in the line. I cannot allow that.”

 

“Alright. Just tell me what to do.”

 

“By the way, Jeonghan, I heard about your fight. I hope you all fix it soon because being emotionally unstable won’t help you survive longer.”

 

“I’m on my way fixing it, Doctor.” Jeonghan smiled.

 

“Alright. Good boy.” He smiled as well. “See you tomorrow. Don’t worry about Ye Jun. I’ll look after him. Update me about your tour.”

 

“Alright. Are you coming with us?”

 

“Probably not. Will send you the machine for your therapy. The engineer made it easier and more compact. Will give out Ye Jun one too.”

 

“That’s great! Where are you going during the tour?”

 

“I will find answers, Jeonghan. I will go back to the HQ this winter.”

 

“I understand.”

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DORM 1_

 

The three leaders were having a meeting. “Are we ready?” asked Seungcheol.

 

“Performance wise. Not yet.” Answered Hoshi. “It’s terrible, hyung.”

 

“In recording?” looked at Jihoon.

 

“Almost done.”

 

Seungcheol sighed. “Let’s not get too much attached in this rumble inside our house. Tomorrow morning, i-“ but Joshua interrupted.

 

“I will still be handling tomorrow. Go get some rest. Gimme some paper works. I will divide it.”

 

Seungcheol looked at him like he don’t trust him.

 

“I am the only one who can help you out here, Seungcheol. Let’s get this done.”

 

“I agree.” Said Jihoon exhaustedly.

 

“You must all go to sleep now.” Advised Joshua. “Let’s wrap it up for tomorrow. You and I, Seungcheol, will have a lot to talk. Good night.”

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Going home, Jeonghan forgot that he was living in another place as of the moment. He just realized it when he saw the building. Turning around, he saw a man like a ghost because of his white skin carrying a plastic containing food. Probably snacks for the night. He always does that. Both were surprised seeing each other late that night but Jeonghan displayed a pretty smile. “Good night, Jihoon.” Of course, it will always be Jeonghan who start the conversation with Jihoon because he’ll never start one unless it’s necessary.

 

Jihoon was the guy who always have cold interactions with people. Jeonghan was probably immune on how he’d snob people.

 

“Why did you come here?” Jihoon spoke.

 

“Just hope I can visit.”

 

“We can meet tomorrow anyway.”

 

“Yeah. Just want to check on you guys.”

 

“It’s not your responsibility anymore.”

 

“It’s not a responsibility. I like doing it.”

 

“Then why accept the money for it?”

 

Jeonghan was attacked but he maintained his lovely face for the other.

 

“Get real here.” Added Jihoon. “What exactly do you want to do?”

 

“I- I just want to be with you.”

 

“That’s easy. Why did you move in the first place? You had us for years. Acted it was real. You can just act it out again.” Said coldly.

 

Jeonghan prevented his heart from hurting but it wasn’t really easy. He was speechless as he watched Jihoon passed by as if they were never acquainted.

 

Jihoon resembled a cold wind in the winter. While Jeonghan was the flower freezing and dying on it.

 

“I’m sorry.” Uttered Jeonghan just before Jihoon had gone inside.

 

But Jihoon never looked back. “I’ve heard that many times. Will never fall again.” And left.

 

“You are really a cold man.” Jeonghan uttered softly with tears falling along with the snow.

.

.

.

The next day, Joshua was still in charge. He briefed the members that they needed to go learn the choreography faster in order for them to chase their schedule back to normal. Before they started the practice, Joshua huddled them up “Listen. The Music Video is coming up next. Let’s learn faster, is that clear?”

 

The members agreed.

 

Since Jeonghan was the only one who’s slow in memorizing the choreography, he stayed inside the practice hall all night when everybody thought he’d left already.

 

On the other hand, Mingyu left his towel inside the practice room and he came back that night to claim it. He was surprised that the practice room’s light was still on. He wondered if Soon Young had returned. He glanced at the door and saw Jeonghan practicing alone. And so, he trembled. He planned to leave since he could just get his towel back tomorrow.

 

“Do you need something?” asked Jeonghan as he stopped practicing while catching his breath.

 

“I-I forgot my towel.”

 

“Then get it.” Said Jeonghan casually preventing his emotion to betray him.

 

Mingyu went in avoiding the other but he stopped when he thought he needed to talk. However, his words won’t come out. That’s when Jeonghan spoke first.

 

“It’s better when you tell me your true feelings in person, Mingyu. I’ve seen you uncomfortable and I am sorry for that.”

 

“No. That’s-“

 

“If you hate me, punch me. I am okay with it. I deserve that.”

 

Mingyu became still. He wanted to walk away because he was frightened.

 

Jeonghan went towards the other. Very close Mingyu could look at the other’s face even if he’s looking down. Jeonghan took Mingyu’s hand and smack it on his chest repeatedly.  Mingyu was surprised with his action as guilt ruled over his heart.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I’m fine. Punch me.” provoke the older.

 

“It wasn’t my intention. I was drunk.”

 

“That was your real feelings, Mingyu. You are drunk.”

 

“That’s not true. I was not thinking at all. I didn’t even know I-“ Mingyu’s words were cut.

 

“Hit me. Don’t worry, there are only two of us here. They will not know.”

 

“No. I don’t want to.”

 

“It will make you feel better.” said Jeonghan. “You probably think I am weak but I swear I am not.”

 

“Stop!” Mingyu glared painfully while Jeonghan look him in the eyes with no emotion at all.

 

“You are angry because me! You are hurt because of me!” Jeonghan continuously hitting Mingyu’s fist on his chest. “You need to let that go, Mingyu. Otherwise it will eat you! Let me at least help you lessen the pain.”

 

“Stop!” Mingyu shouted as he withdrawn his hand from the other. “Enough!” as he left not knowing what to feel.

 

After he left, Jeonghan curved his exhausted body at the corner. It has been exhausting for his fragile body. Moreover, his emotions were playing him.  After a while his heart beat fast making it hard to breathe. “!” he exclaimed knowing that it was a signal for a silent attack. This silent attack won’t show but it has faster way to go through the heart. This stage hasn’t been revealed to the members yet because Jeonghan asked Dr. Eric to conceal since he didn’t want to bother the boys anymore.

 

As few moments later, Jeonghan’s hands were getting hard to control. His limbs followed. And then, he experienced choking. His chest felt like it could burst and his stomach felt like compressed. He vomited the only food that’s stored in his stomach which was not much since he couldn’t eat that much that day. Jeonghan was paralyzed inside the room alone with pain 10 times the one he could feel with blots in his skin.

 

Since Jeonghan was alone, he tried to calm himself chanting “C’mon, Jeonghan. You can get through this.” He waited in complete paralyze calmly. Enduring the pain silently hoping no member could see. The moment he overcome it, he rushed to the bathroom dragging his body. There, he puked blood but he wasn’t aware. His eyesight had gone bad.

 

It just so happen that Jihoon was still inside the building finishing small patches of their song. He was about to use the toilet when the light in the practice room caught his attention. He noticed a bag, a messy dirt on the floor and a phone with a cute stuffed toy hanging on it. Jihoon knew it was Jeonghan’s. He was about to leave when it rang. He grabbed it when he saw whose calling. “Hello?” answered him.

 

“Jeonghan, I’ve been calling you. Where are you?” it was Dr. Eric.

 

“I think he’s out somewhere. We’re still at our building.” said Jihoon.

 

Sounds a different voice but a familiar one guessing “Jihoon?”

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

“Could you get Jeonghan his phone? I have important things to discuss with him.”

“Sure. I’ll call you as soon as I see him.”

 

“I’ll go there.”

 

Must be so urgent. Jihoon went to the toilet. He was actually expecting Jeonghan in there because he’s never leaving his phone when he goes outside. When he saw Jeonghan, he was aiding himself with the wall to walk. Moreover, his shirt was drenched with blood. His chin had stains of blood too, so he was assuming he vomited along with blood. Jeonghan looked terrible. There came his heart when he asked with concern. “Where are you going?”

 

Jeonghan wasn’t responding at all. If he could hear or see, at least he’d react. He’s coming from a distance and thought he could assist out of respect. He’s sick and it wasn’t his fault. Jihoon came to him, collect him gently. However, the other was surprised of the sudden touch because he was clueless who it was.

 

The younger was about to call Dr. Eric through Jeonghan’s phone since he left his in the recording studio. Besides, Jeonghan’s phone didn’t have password because he always forget. When he remembered about Mingyu’s allegedly hurtful message. He snuck on to Jeonghan’s phone fast, hoping he couldn’t get caught.

 

When Jihoon read the message, it was really hurtful. Enough for DK to act like that. However, he understood how Mingyu felt. He felt the same. He couldn’t blame him. Moreover, he’s never seen Mingyu drink alcohol that much in a night every single day. It must be too much for him to take. That time, Jihoon thought Jeonghan might be taking too much torture from the wrath of thirteen people. His disease was already giving him a hard time. Jihoon calmed himself down to help Jeonghan with the care he needed. It’s the least he could do.

 

Jihoon waited for Dr. Eric to come before he left seeing to it that Jeonghan would be fine. “He vomited blood. Is he having an attack?”

 

“We don’t know yet. Leave him to me. I’ll give you an update. Just go and do your thing.” Eric winked. However, Eric was thinking that it was his silent attack. Besides, Jeonghan had been drinking pain killers he didn’t even prescribe. He’s been taking pain killers to ease the pain which could lead to a worst situation. He found that out earlier upon visiting Jeonghan’s temporary apartment to drop off things.

Eric carried Jeonghan at the back as they left the room, apart from Jihoon. He was in a hurry to bring Jeonghan to the hospital but the poor young man stopped breathing while they were on the parking lot. Immediately, Eric executed a resuscitation and the shock endlessly until Jeonghan was revived.

 

“We are in trouble Jeonghan.” Eric sat on the floor panting “Why do you keep punishing yourself? You drown yourself with painkillers. It won’t even help you.” He stood up and run the engine of his car and positioned the unconscious Jeonghan at the front seat and drove straight to the hospital.

 

Looking at the young man struggling to get his life back as of the moment, Dr. Eric stayed beside him “Jeonghan-ah, what good will it do you if you stay? I am not supposed to tell you this because I am your doctor but you are living in a hell no one would ever wanted. If I knew this would happen to you, I shouldn’t have let myself revive you. If it wasn’t for me, you should probably in a better place right now.” Dr. Eric breathed heavily feeling frustrated as he cried. “I can’t figure things out, Jeonghan. I know I promised to never give up but it’s impossible.” stated Eric loosing hope because as of the moment, he was having a silent attack same as Jeonghan and he’s in the same room with oxygen on after a terrible shock he injected himself just right before he could feel his head breaking. Now, he couldn’t even feel his body.

 

“This is unfair for us, Jeonghan.”

 

On the other hand, Ye Jun was still in coma not knowing whether he would wake up or not. He’s got complications after the operations just a moment ago. Now, he won’t open his eyes because of the red spots on his chest.