CHAPTER 33: The Price

 

Wonwoo had gone back to their dorm as Jeonghan told him to. He had to rest too for his and Jeonghan’s appointment to therapy for the next day. Meanwhile Joshua had gone exhausted not from doing anything but from the tension he’s been enduring inside their dorm.

 

“Hey, where have you been?” asked Joshua who noticed Wonwoo’s coming back late that night.

 

“To Jeonghan. I’m meeting him tomorrow for the check-up. Someone has to come with him.” answered Wonwoo briefly.

 

When the boys, particularly Mingyu and DK, heard the magic name, they stuck their ears out to listen.

 

“I see.” Joshua smiled. “Have you eaten?”

 

“With hyung.”

 

“I kinda need your help with him, as you can see, I’m pretty glued here. Update me.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Do you know where he’s staying?” asked Joshua curiously. “Did he tell you?”

 

“Nope. I accidentally saw and followed him.”

 

“Sneaky fox. Give me the address. Might pay a visit. How’s he?” Joshua said intentionally louder.

 

“Not so good but it’s better if he have company.”

 

Jihoon hearing the conversation, he murmured “What a bunch of traitors.”

 

Wonwoo smirked and teased. “You missed a lot of things today, Hoonie. See you around.”

 

Dorm 2_

 

“Hyung, should we ask Jeonghan hyung where he is? I doubt that he’s living with his family right now.” Asked Seungkwan. “I’m worried.”
 

“Relax. If he needs anything, he’d call us.” Jun replied but he didn’t get the chance to wait because his mind was telling him to contact Jeonghan immediately. After one ring, Jeonghan answered.

 

“Hey. What’s up?”

 

Jun smiled and said “Can we visit you?”

 

“Yeah. I’d be glad. But I have to go to the hospital with Wonwoo tomorrow morning.”

 

“Wonwoo? How did he know where you are?”

 

“He followed me.” Jeonghan giggled.

 

“Oh. I didn’t even think of that. Can we visit some other time? Is it near?”

 

“Yeah. Kind of. Will drop by the dorm tomorrow.”

 

“That’s nice. Hyung! Ice cream.” Jun requested.

 

Seungkwan interrupted “Hyung, I want yogurt. Please let it be yogurt.”

 

“Alright. The plain one or t-“

 

“Just the plain one.” Said Jun. “Thanks! We’ll buy fruits and Hershey’s.”

 

“Alright.” Giggled Jeonghan feeling comfortable on how they treated him in a normal basis.

 

“That’s a good idea.” Whispered Seungkwan.

 

For the first time in history, Jun and Seungkwan bonded for the longest with only two of them. It’s such a nice experience to know more about the person you rarely get along with. There’s a different spark.

 

It’s almost brunch the next day. Jun cooked for everyone. They were calling their members when they noticed Soon Young by a corner, eating his favorite pizza Jeonghan brought while sobbing. They found him adorable. Soon Young has always the purest of heart aside from DK and it’s such heart breaking to see him cry.

 

“Aigoo, hyung. Why are you crying over a pizza?” said Seungkwan wiping his tears of.

 

“He remembered my favorite.” The man wailed.

 

“Aigoo.” Wiped his dirty face with a clean tissue. “Let’s go, Jun hyung cooked for all of us.”

 

“Why did he do that to us?”

 

Seungkwan knew that Soon Young would always be open to forgive. “Maybe he has reasons hyung.”

 

“And you understood? Immediately?”

 

“You would be mad at me when I tell you the truth.”

 

Soon Young became sadder when he thought he’d hear another painful revelation. He became alerted,  it made him stop chewing. “What is it?”

 

“Would you believe if I had the same offer as Jeonghan hyung?”

 

Soon Young’s large dismay eyes were kind of an insult to the other.

 

“Hyung. You are insulting me right now.” Pouting his lips in disappointment. “What’s with that face?!” the younger whined.

 

“You mean as a lover?” still with disbelief face.

 

“Hyung!” well, that insulted him too much.

 

“Sorry. Sorry. And did you accept it?”

 

“Yeah.” Seungkwan simply answered but Soon Young would still display a face that he wasn’t sure yet if he’d believe him or not. “Quit that look now, Kwon Soon Young.” Biting his lips to contain his temper.

 

“Why and how did you do it?”

 

“We’ll as an entertainer.”

 

“aaaah~” the long ‘a’ signified he finally get it.

 

“You! Hyung! I am serious here.” Seungkwan scolded.

 

“And you are paid for being-“ looking from head to toe, which again, insulted the other. “funny?”

 

“I struggled when I was starting. It changed me so much. Have you noticed? The president knew that we cannot be all together for a longer time so he thought he’d need guardian angels to look after all of you, which for the record is not easy.”

 

“Oh.” A small realization he suddenly got. “Why did you accept the money?”

 

“It’s for my family and they’re my reason. Just like you with the royalties. You know… with the choreography and all.”

 

“But that’s a different thing.”

 

“Love is heavier, I know. He’s done that 24/7 without throwing a chair for the past few years. I can’t take that, so I chose to be funny.”

 

“I still don’t get it.”

 

“Right.” Seungkwan sighed. “Have you kissed Jeonghan hyung?”

 

“Uh- where?”

 

“Where?! What the hell hyung?!”

 

“Lips?”

 

“You kissed Hanie hyung there?” shocked but he too did it with some impulse. He was apologetic but they’re hanging on a cliff that time.

 

“Many times?” Soon Young innocently admitted. “But Joshua implicated that something has happened to Cheol and Jeonghan hyung.”

 

“That’s a different story. And we should not tackle it for safety.”

 

“Why did they do that? That feels heavy too.” Sighed Soon Young.

 

“You are losing the page, hyung. Let’s get back to the purpose of the contract.” Snapping his fingers to call Soon Young’s attention.

 

“I don’t get it, Seungkwan. Enough. I’m just getting tired with all of this.”

 

“I know it’s not easy.”

 

Soon Young breathed heavily.

 

“Do you want to eat with us?”

 

“I’d rather not.”

 

Seungkwan looking at the pizza “Because? You already got one?”

 

“Nope. It feels so heavy back there.”

 

“Yeah. I can feel that.”

 

“You think it’s unfair for us?”

 

“The fact that he hid it?”

 

Soon Young nodded.

 

“You don’t even hear him explain yet.” Pointed Seungkwan.

 

Realizing that they never had a chance to hear what Jeonghan was about to say.

 

“Besides, I think Jeonghan hyung didn’t want us to think of him as a lover but a family. It’s like. Hmmn… how do you put this… He’s more like of a vice president, just like Seungcheol hyung. He’s more of a councilor, you get me? He never insisted to be kissed, to be touched, or something like that. Do you think he likes to be kissed or touched?”

 

Soon Young recalled all their kisses. Most, and almost all, Soon Young was the one kissing Jeonghan without any notice. His eyes enlarged. As things were getting clearer to Soon young he said “Let’s eat then.” Seungkwan now was pulling Soon Young up for them to all eat.

 

At the dining table, Jun suddenly sighed “It feels so empty.”

 

“Get over it, hyung. It will never be the same.” Said Dino.

 

“Yeah. I think so.” Eating his food lousily.

 

Meanwhile, Minghao was getting disturb with both Jun and Soon Young eating so slow and sad. He dropped his utensils heavily and grunted “If you don’t want to eat, just move your from the dining table! You are disturbing us.”

 

Seungkwan and Vernon were surprised. Dino was quite surprise, yes but if Minghao hadn’t done it, he should have. Jun and Soon Young move out from the table. Get the left over pizza from yesterday and ate at the living room.

 

“It’s never the same.” Murmured Vernon, turning with no appetite at all as he cleaned his area and placed his plates to the sink.

 

“Of course. We lack a member.” Said Seungkwan.

 

“It’s not what I meant.” Said Vernon fiercely.

 

“It’s exactly what it is, Vernon.” Answered Seungkwan fiercely. “Aigoo. Poor hyung. If he hasn’t come back here with us, maybe he’s in good hands now. He don’t have to suffer much of humanity.”

 

“What do you mean?” Soon Young spoke from a far hearing how complicated Seungkwan’s statement was.

 

“Oh, just thinking.”

 

“Ya! It’s not what I meant, you hear me? You’re making us the bad guys.” Vernon retorted.

 

“Ain’t nothing against you. It’s just a thought that he came back for nothing. For worst maybe. I understand your disappointment. I deserve that as well. But he’s running out of time, you couldn’t just let him explain himself. Just saying. We all make mistakes.”

 

“Do you think, Jeonghan hyung came back to life because of us?” asked Jun in curiosity.

 

“Probably. He once said he saw us cry from a hallucination. Maybe he saw us in his spirit form. But come to think of it, is it worth it?” Seungkwan continued putting their conscience on the line. “He has an incurable disease since birth. The pain was obviously excruciating… no one deserved that. It’s unfair, you see. For now, death is his only rest. I don’t want that to happen. He’s too young. I can’t add more pain to him right now.”

 

“You are telling us, we are selfish?” argued Vernon.

 

“I did not tell you that. You said it yourself.” Seungkwan trying to provoke the other.

 

“You mean it’s better when he died back there? Away from us?” asked Soon Young with heart beating faster because it was scaring him. “Ya! You are going too far. You didn’t have to.” Gulped Soon Young who was frightened big time.

 

“He died. He literally died for a few minutes. I mean hours. Is it hours?” wondered Seungkwan.

 

“I thought it was almost forever.” Added Jun.

 

“If you are making that statement to make us feel guilty, it’s not working.” Said Minghao in his scary tone.

 

“I saw you cry, hyung. It means you love him. You don’t want to lose him.”

 

Minghao directed his eyes from Seungkwan’s “That was before when I thought it’s all love.”

 

Seungkwan scoffed. “Now it has ended. Period! That easy?”

 

“You have no idea.” Minghao frowned his brows.

 

Seungkwan was losing his temper. It’s insulting “He’s only human, hyung! One mistake and it’s over? C’mon! That isn’t a fair fight. It’s not like he’s murdered someone. Not even an explanation. Nothing!” Seungkwan calmed himself as he clicked his tongue nodding repeatedly as he realized with a hint of insult to the rest of them. “Right. I get it now.”

 

“You don’t get to talk as if you know everything.” Rebutted Minghao.

 

“My bad. I remembered I cannot make a mistake.” He insulted them more. Dino lose his temper as well making him to push the older so hard, it made Seungkwan stumble on the floor so bad.

 

“Shut up!”

 

Jun and Soon Young were surprised, they were the first ones to run, in fact. “Hey, are you okay?” assisted Jun.

 

“Dino, why did you do that?” halted Soon Young.

 

“Because he should have shut his ing mouth.” Gritting his teeth because he’s so done with everything that’s happening.

 

“Ya!” Soon Young shouted “Watch your mouth, imma!” he scolded.

 

“Why? I can’t speak for myself now?” looking at Soon Young with his fierce eyes. “This is bull!” walking away with tears pooling in his eyes. Of course it’s also difficult for him. It’s difficult for all of them.

 

Soon Young was terribly disappointed with what happened that he melted down on the floor and cried. “Why is this happening to us?”

 

“That’s because of the person we knew is genuine.” said Minghao.

 

Jun was hit so hard with those words. He couldn’t contain himself either. It was the first time he answered as he scoffed. “Sure… Because you are too perfect!”

 

Seungkwan was hurt because he’s seeing his team falling apart… Slowly and terribly as he saw Minghao together with Vernon walked to their own rooms.

.

.

.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan and Wonwoo were waiting for their turn to have the test. Dr. Eric was so tensed with the new process. He tried it to himself and it was too painful. He’s afraid that Jeonghan might have a side effect. However, he might give the new system the benefit of the doubt. It was the best they had that time which could stimulate all kinds of nerve. Hoping they could find the one that has to be mend after a few session.

 

“You ready?” asked Eric who was obviously losing his weight lately.

 

“You’ve been losing weight, Dr. Eric.” Said Wonwoo.

 

“Yeah. Stress maybe.” Looking at Jeonghan “Let’s go.” Jeonghan nodded and went with him. “This one might be more painful, Jeonghan. I need you to hold on.”

 

“Should I come?” asked wonwoo who was nervous for Jeonghan that time.

 

“If you can take to see him in that situation. Where are the others?” asked Eric because it’s for the first time Wonwoo accompanied Jeonghan alone. Usually there’s the two of them.

 

“It’s complicated for now, hyung.” Answered Wonwoo.

 

“Something happen?”

 

“Yeah and it’s not a good thing to talk about. I would like to accompany Jeonghan if you may.”

 

“Sure.” Looking at Jeonghan, Dr. Eric was concerned. “We need to talk, buddy.”

 

Jeonghan nodded.

 

Before the session started, Eric explained how the therapy was going to happen. It would identify the parts that’s being affected by the attack. This therapy would surely reduce the heart attack whether it’s a light or the grave one because it’d also help the blood circulate in a normal pace. The side effects wasn’t seen yet but if there’s any, Eric would identify it first.

 

“Did Ye Jun hyung got these too?” asked Wonwoo.

 

“Not yet. I have to consider things for him first.” Talking about the previous operation that triggered too much of the sickness which Jeonghan didn’t know.

 

“I see.”

 

Jeonghan started the therapy. He was put into bed but he needed to stay awake with no any anesthesia or painkiller because it wasn’t ideal for that kind of treatment.

 

“This might take long. Tap me if you can’t take it anymore.”

 

Jeonghan nodded.

 

Apparatuses was attached to the poor Jeonghan all over the body. It wasn’t ideal to hold hands because it may reach to Wonwoo too but he thought it was the only comfort he could offer to help Jeonghan endure.

 

As soon as the machine , Jeonghan immediately grunted in pain. After a while, Jeonghan’s voice became louder and louder until they could hear screams. It hasn’t been a minute yet Jeonghan’s lips were bleeding because of the tightness of the bite. On the other hand, Wonwoo couldn’t take the pain running into his hands. He was advised to let go after noticing how their hands were attached. Wonwoo became worried thinking that Jeonghan was suffering from it in his whole body.

 

Jeonghan endured for 10 minutes bravely and strongly. Pain was visible but no one could tell how excruciating the pain was inside except for Eric.  Wonwoo could hear terrible heavy breathes. Jeonghan was about to pass out but he couldn’t. For the sake of the study.

 

“Great job, Jeonghan! Just few more minutes and we’re done.”Dr. Eric comforted.

 

Jeonghan nodded weakly. Wonwoo was never far from him. He saw how Jeonghan turned lifeless after the treatment. It pained him so he stayed there to give Jeonghan strength in any way possible. It took time before Jeonghan recovered. Wonwoo was just glad Jeonghan was never giving up.

 

They went home as soon as possible. Jeonghan suddenly remembered his promise to Jun and Seungkwan. “Wonwoo, we should buy yogurt ice cream.”

 

“If you finish your food.” Said Wonwoo with his conditions clear whether he vomits or not.

 

“I will get back to my food. My stomach couldn’t really take it now. I promise I will eat it when we get home.”

 

“Why do you want to buy ice cream?”

 

“I promised Jun and Seungkwan. You want too? I can get you too.”

 

The two bought ice creams for both dorms. It was a generous amount for everybody.

 

 “You know they won’t just give in with gifts, Jeonghanie.” reminded Wonwoo

 

“I know.” He giggled. “I just miss them.” Scrunched his nose cutely.

 

“Alright. But for how long do you plan to keep doing this?”

 

“Until I can think of another way.”

 

“Better not show yourself to the people downstairs. They’re the real demons.”

 

“Why? I want to see them.”

 

“They will hurt you.” Worried Wonwoo.

 

“I hurt you all anyway. That’s fair.”

 

“It’s not. I am getting annoyed when you are saying it’s fair. Stop that.”

 

Jeonghan was surprised but he giggled. “Alright. Wonwoo? I have a favor to ask.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“I- I want you to stay with them tonight.”

 

“And you?” it’s obvious that Wonwoo didn’t want to do it.

 

“I just want to be with myself tonight. Might get a lot of throwing up and I don’t want you to see me like that.”

 

“And if something happens?”

 

“I will definitely call you. Besides, I am getting better. My problem is just throwing up.”

 

“You need time alone. I get it but I am worried.”

 

Jeonghan giggled. “No need to worry. Ye Jun will drop by tomorrow morning. He’d bring me milk.”

 

“Save one for me too.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Wonwoo couldn’t do anything but to respect Jeonghan’s decision. However, Wonwoo insisted that he should not show himself to Dorm 1 as of the moment.

 

“Thank you for always loving me unconditionally.” stated Jeonghan.

 

“That’s the only thing I can do for you.” kissed Jeonghan’s forehead tenderly. “Go home and rest after you deliver that to the people upstairs. Take care.”

 

Wonwoo holding the ice cream didn’t just enter with his keys. He decided to ring instead for people to expect Jeonghan. What a little devil!

DK and Mingyu were the ones expecting but when they opened the door. It was Wonwoo. They displayed a disappointed expression.

 

Holding gallons of ice cream with fruits included inside the plastic “Yo!” greeted Wonwoo.

 

 “Oh... It’s just you.” Murmured Mingyu lamely.

 

“Expecting someone?” asked Wonwoo opening the yogurt ice cream.

 

“Why did you buy ice cream?”

 

“I didn’t. It came from Jeonghanie.”

 

“Where is he?” asked DK looking somewhere outside.

 

“I told him to go away.”

 

“Why?” asked DK with a broken heart.

 

“I told him that there’s no point seeing the people who do not want to see him in the first place.” Explained heartlessly by Wonwoo.

 

“Hyung!” DK shouted in dismay. “I want to see him.” he whispered to himself.

 

“He chose the good decision.” Heard from Seungcheol from a far.

 

“Yup.” Added Joshua. “It’s not worth the effort to look at your faces.” Calling Wonwoo with hands occupied by spoons good for big scoops of ice cream.  “Wonwoo-yah, come here. That looks great! Is it the brand we like?”

 

“Yeah. We’ve looked for it in almost every convenience and grocery store. My legs hurt.”

 

“What? You walked?” giggled Joshua. “Poor you.”

 

“That’s his thing.”

 

Jihoon scoffed. He’s been just drinking all day. He hardly eats like Seungcheol, Mingyu and DK with different sentiments. The others were angry while others were sad and confused.

 

“Tell him, stop the effort. He’s wasting his time and money for those.” Said Jihoon.

 

“Oh no, he doesn’t.” chuckled Wonwoo, excited to dive a big scoop at a gallon of ice cream. “This is really good!”

 

Joshua the TV and watched with Wonwoo with a gallon of ice cream only for the both of them.

 

Joshua was tired. Physically and mentally but he couldn’t force everybody to understand. He cannot face Jeonghan with that yet, but he’s hoping that everything would get better.

 

“How’s Jeonghan’s therapy?”

 

“Terrible.” Wonwoo murmured, so the others would be intrigued. They would and they should be.

 

With an unpleasant reaction, people were drawn to their conversation trying to be discreet that they were listening. “What happened?”

 

Wonwoo told Joshua in a minimal tone so nobody could hear. Suddenly, Joshua reacted by slapping a spoon on Wonwoo’s mouth. The spoon he used for the ice cream.

 

“Aw! That hurts!” Wonwoo got annoyed with the pain.

 

Joshua was even surprised with his reaction too. The spoon was back to his mouth.

 

“That’s disgusting.” Uttered Wonwoo.

 

Joshua pinched Wonwoo’s ears so he could drag him easily somewhere they could talk privately. They had shut the door so nobody could hear.

 

“They thought it would work?” scoffed Seungcheol thinking that it was somehow a plan. “Kill me.”

 

Meanwhile, the two were having a conversation outside. It was serious. People inside could hear his scolding after knowing that Wonwoo let Jeonghan roam around after a painful therapy.

 

“Ya!” in his shouting yet yelling tone. ”Are you insane?! Where is he right now?”

 

“Probably upstairs. He’s to deliver the ice cream upstairs.”

 

“You! I thought you are wise enough that’s why I’m gave you the task to monitor Jeonghan.” Scolded by Joshua.

 

“He told me he wanted to be alone.”

 

“I know that but whose going to look after him?”

 

“He told me he’s got people to look after him.”

 

“I see. I guess he needed time on his own too. How frequent is his therapy?”

 

“About two per week.” Answered Wonwoo.

 

Joshua sighed. “I need to see him.”

 

“You can just go to him. May I know why you aren’t you going to him?”

 

“He left me these brats. I’m stressing out. Besides, if he sees me like this, he’d think it’s his fault.”

 

“That’s why we need to eat those ice cream with fruits before it melts.”

 

“Right. And Seungcheol must not find this out.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I think he’s having his anxiety attacks again. He cannot handle these things. He’s seeing a doctor right now. I can’t afford Seungcheol losing it because if he gets crazy and quit, it’s all over.”

 

“I got it. Is it bad?”

 

“He cannot even breathe properly. This is insane. I’m worried. Damn it!”

 

“What can we do?”

 

“Nothing. Just don’t force him. He’s big enough to figure things out. Let’s just give him time. It’s just that he has plenty on his plate right now.”

 

Wonwoo clearly understood. “This is complicated, huh?”

 

They went in and found the two, Mingyu and DK, eating the ice cream they left unattended after getting nothing from their conversation since they couldn’t hear it.

 

“That’s my spoon!” Wonwoo yelled. “Get yours! Never mind. I’ll get a new one.”

 

“H-how was hyung’s therapy?” asked DK discreetly.

 

“More than usual.” Said Wonwoo in a very unidentified statement.

 

“Will he be fine alone?” followed Mingyu.

 

“No one knows.”

 

Joshua sighed. “Get up, you two. That’s my seat!”

 

The two were thinking deeply of what to do next.

 

DORM 2_

 

Jeonghan rang the doorbell when Soon Young rushed, passing Jun and Seungkwan who were about to see who’s outside.

 

Soon Young was there by the door first but he was hesitant to open it.

 

“Hyung, open it.”

 

However, Soon Young became a statue after that. Jun opened it instead.

 

Smiling handsomely. “Hello, hyung. How was the therapy?” It worried him when he saw Jeonghan’s complexion paler than usual.

 

“I’m fine.” Answered Jeonghan weakly. “Please share those. Sorry, I need to go now. My sister is waiting for me.”

 

“Sure.” Said Jun. Soon Young who was hidden behind the door peaked because he became curious that Jun and Seungkwan looked worried.

 

“You look terrible, hyung.”

 

“No.” Jeonghan giggled weakly. “I think it’s the therapy but I’ll get a good sleep.”

 

“Have you eaten?”

 

“Yeah. With Wonwoo.”

 

“Hyung, I will be the one to accompany you in your next therapy, right?”

 

 “Yeah. Thank you. I’ll be waiting. I’ll give you my address.”

 

From their conversation, Soon Young realized that Jeonghan was not with his family. It made him worry.

 

“Here. Eat before it melts.” said Jeonghan.

 

The two received it excitedly. “Thank you very much, hyung!”

 

“I should go shortly. How was everybody?”

 

“Still in tantrums.” replied Seungkwan. “Hyung… please be healthy. Don’t bother yourself to come here every single day. Let me calm them down first. Besides, it’s not good for you. I might punch them if they speak ill against you.”

 

 “I see. It’s terrible, huh? I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry. We can fix this although I must admit I’ve said things earlier.”

 

“Please. Don’t fight because of me.”

 

“I will try.” Seungkwan smiled.

 

Jeonghan left. Soon Young could hear his footsteps going away as if his heart goes along with it. He couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to see and ask how Jeonghan have been for days. But it was not too late to catch him up from the elevator. Soon Young hurriedly ran using the steps. Just at the right time, he saw Jeonghan walking slowly out of the building with a weary and tired expression. He was scared to approach him but it has to be now. He couldn’t contain his heavy feeling anymore. He needed to hear Jeonghan ones and for all.

 

“Jeonghan hyung.” Soon Young called as he stopped running with a pant.

 

Jeonghan stopped and looked behind. He was sure it was Soon Young. He formed a smile just before he look back. The boy was catching his breath that he couldn’t move anymore, so Jeonghan approached him instead. “What are you doing, Soon young?” asked Jeonghan tenderly with his soft voice.

 

That time, Soon Young was hasting to looking upon the other’s face whom he felt he hadn’t seen for so long. Once he looked at the older’s face, he felt pity. He couldn’t even hide his tears behind his pride.

 

“Why? Don’t cry.” Jeonghan chuckled. “Would you like something?”

 

“What happened to you?” realizing how much pressure they put up on him for the past few days. “Was it too long that I didn’t see you?”

 

“Aigoo.” Jeonghan was preventing himself to cry as he wiped the other’s tears. “Why are you crying when there’s nothing to cry about. Is there something I can do for you?”

 

“I just want to know what you really feel for us?” just a confirmation Soon Young wanted to ask.

 

“Of course, I love you all. That’s the truth. But I cannot face you from what I did. I’m sorry.”

 

Soon Young looked closely at Jeonghan “You look so tired.” Touching the face of the other. “Did we do that to you?”

 

Jeonghan chuckled. “Nope. Definitely not. It’s the therapy.”

 

“Are you hurt?” examining the other’s physical appearance.

 

“Not much.” Jeonghan explained calmly.

 

“I’m sorry.” Soon Young suddenly uttered.

 

“What for? You did nothing wrong.”

 

“I’m sorry I was selfish.”

 

“It’s not your fault. Please stop crying. It’s breaking my heart.”

 

Soon Young didn’t reply but he held Jeonghan’s hand and felt it was cold and trembling. Soon Young was terrified. “You are cold.” He panicked. “Let me call for help.” He didn’t even have a good grip on his phone.

 

Jeonghan retrieve his hand with caution and said “It was because of the ice cream. Don’t worry. It’s getting late now, you should have a good rest.”

“I’m scared.”

 

“Why? Oh, Soon Young.” Embraced the younger with a tight one. “Relax. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Seungkwan said we’re burdening you with this. I’m sorry.”

 

“Soon Young. Why are you apologizing when it’s me who was wrong? And besides, you are not burdening me at all.”

 

“Please, don’t die again.” Continuous his crying.

 

“I won’t. Don’t scare yourself.”

 

“I’m so scared that you’ve had enough of us. I’m scared that you would never come back again.”

 

Jeonghan couldn’t help but to cry. “Where is this coming from?”

 

“You did your best to come back to us, am I right?”

 

“I want to be with you. That’s why.” said the older.

 

“We will fix this. Just give us time. Please.” Soon Young pleaded.

 

He giggled despite the tears. “Thank you. Why are you so adorable? Why don’t you go back home and eat? I’m sure the ice cream is melting and the strawberries are all eaten by the others.”

 

“Can’t you go back?” pleaded Soon Young.

 

“I want to.”

 

“But?... I can fight for you.”

 

Jeonghan was smiling now. “I know. But you all need time and I also need to think what to do next. I’m just near you.”

 

Soon Young was stuck staring at Jeonghan again. He went forward and embraced the older, patting his back even though he was the one who’s crying. “Oh, poor angel. My poor angel.” He cried. “You don’t deserve any of these. I’m sorry I was wrong.”

 

Jeonghan embraced him back. “You are a kind person, Soon Young. Thank you for understanding. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too. Promise me you won’t leave?” still worried that Jeonghan would leave them out of the blue. “Don’t ever think of resigning again or… or going somewhere where it’s impossible to find you.”

 

Jeonghan knew there was no certainty regarding his condition, he said “I will not go far away from you.”

 

“Promise me!” Soon Young demanded wailing too much just to get the answer he wanted.

 

“Promises might get me to trouble again but I can assure I will fight.”

 

“It will do fine. I trust Doctor Eric.”

 

“Thank you. Now go up and eat.” Kissed Soon Young on his cheeks. “Go now.” Sending him away cutely.

 

After Soon Young has left, Jeonghan went to a corner to cry not for himself but for his friends. Meanwhile, Soon Young went back wailing saying “He cannot promise anymore.”

 

“What is it?” asked Seungkwan. “What happened?”

 

Soon Young looked at him and said “Ye Jun hyung got worst because he let someone experiment on him, is he?”

 

“And?” asked Jun.

 

“Every time Jeonghan hyung would have an attack, it worsen his condition right?” Soon Young wailed worriedly.

 

“Yes, but he’s doing the therapy.”

 

“He didn’t promise anymore, Seungkwan.” He wailed again. “He didn’t! I’m scared. It’s our fault!” Throwing the blame because he’s too anxious to believe in miracle again.

 

Seungkwan was alerted to what Soon Young had said. He felt guilty upon remembering what he said earlier “I’m sorry, hyung.” He started to cry. “I’m sorry.” As he embraced the crying man in front of him.

 

“He will not leave.” Said Jun.

 

“What if we made him leave? What if he gave up because we are treating him badly?”

 

“He will not do that. He made it through, Soon Young-ah.” Comforted Jun.

 

“But now there’s no reason for him to stay and to be happy with us.”

 

“Oh, hyung. Don’t think like that. We are Seventeen and it will always be.”