Two minutes I’ve counted in my head, freezing and shivering in the cold. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to be more patient as I wait for the door to open. That's what you get for leaving your coat in the Uni Jung, I chided myself as I move my limbs to make the cold go away. It just won’t and the voice won’t shut up, Too excited for your own good. My subconscious said mockingly. I groaned looking down.

 

 

 

Thankfully the door opens before I start a continuously reoccurring internal battle in my head. You’re on your Simpsons boxers, a plain white shirt and there are Qtips on your nose? I can feel my eyebrows furrowing comically when I realize that those are really Qtips.

 

 

 

"hey! you're really here." you said thoroughly amazed by my presence at your front door. The stupid grin in your face looks painful with all the things stuck in your nose. I don't think you’re aware of the Qtips though and I opt to ignore it because another wave of shivers made my teeth chatter. God, why is it so cold today.

 

 

 

I was so close to snapping at you for not letting me in and staring at me funny, but you’re already dragging me inside. Your palms are warm on my cold flesh as you gently pulling me in, until I’m inside. You tucked me in your sides unconsciously and the warmth of the room meet us, countering the unnerving shivering but I still feel cold even as I tip toed with you close.

 

 

 

 

We haven’t exchanged words since I came, but I think you’ve already got the memo that I’m not in the talking mood today, because you stayed silent, smiling at me every once in a while as you help me get settled in the couch. I willed myself not to shiver as I watch you help me take off my boots. It’s not the first time you do this things for me but I’m just noticing now, how gentle you have always been whenever you’re doing things that are meant to make me comfortable. It made an annoying warmth warp around my stomach as the coldness on my limbs kept on insisting that I should feel it’s presence.

 

A smile wove its way to my face when your eyes met mine. Your eyelids moved, apparently to wink but it looked more like you have something in your eye and you’re trying to blink it away. I laughed, wondering what’s going on inside your llama head again. You seemed please by my reaction though.

 

 

"Krys, why did you sneak here?" you asked curiously, as you hide my shoes in one of your many cabinets. I don't know how to answer your question honestly, so I just opt for a response that is expected of me somehow.

 

 

"Don't you want me here? fine, I'm leaving."

 

 

"Really now? Cool, wait here, I'll just get your stuff."

 

 

"Stupid!" Another shiver, ugh. I raised my feet to the couch and pulled my knees up. "Get back here, its cold" I can barely finish my sentence because my body was wracked with another shivers. It's really a bad idea to come here.

 

 

I don't know what caught your attention. Maybe it's my raised foot, or my shivering limbs, or my pathetically weak voice, because you hurriedly kneel down in front of me, looking at me intently for a few heartbeats. Then you stood up to lean down on me, holding my forehead with your palm. Your touch was almost burning, especially when it reached my neck. My heartbeat quickened, annoying me more than my shivering form.

 

 

It’s not helping that your worried face was blocking the familiar view of your house, because suddenly I missed it so much. The view of your house, and you’re face, definitely your face, the familiar lines and shades, eternally handsome in any lighting at time of the day. Those dark shadows that never leave and the brightness in your eyes. Beautiful.

 

 

"Cold?" you asked with your worrying oppa voice, shattering the trance, and I just nodded once before looking away from your eyes.

 

 

The embarrassment for being caught staring too long made my cheeks burn a little, and my subconscious was back to its almost not stop chiding. Jung please too obvious. I refrained from rolling my eyes at myself as you gently gripped my wrist then you hurriedly pulled me to your room, ignoring my halfhearted protest.

 

 

 

You forced me to lie in bed, and I didn’t really fought hard against it. The shivering still won’t leave me alone.

 

 

I remained silent, as you pulled the covers. The shivering won over all other important things at the moment. I immediately buried myself to the warmth and to your scent. My eyes close involuntarily as I pulled the sheets around my body. Your hand on my head made me peek from the softness, still shivering. The view of your worrying face zoomed in again.

 

 

 

"Hey baby jung, just try to keep yourself warm okay? I'll get you a hot choco." you whispered in a raspy voice, as your palm unconsciously rubs the top of my head. I closed my eyes again, ignoring your raspy voice, focusing on the warmth of your palm. It sends unnerving messages to my senses because I feel like squirming under the sheets. How juvenile jung.

 

 

 

After that it was silence and your hand lingered until it was gone and I curved myself in a ball. I seriously don't know why I like this feeling of you worrying about me. I've always wanted to be independent from anyone. I managed to be, after all this time. It's hard at times, but I liked it so I am not planning to let go of the feeling of independence.

 

 

There were times like this though, when I want to just depend on you even though if felt like I was getting close to becoming addicted to the warm feeling of someone taking care of me, worrying for me. Maybe it's the cold, maybe it’s the fact that I miss you, or maybe because I secretly love what you’re doing so I let you.

 

 

 

 

I don't need anyone in my life to do things for me, but I like the feeling of needing you and it’s definitely scary, so I hurriedly pulled the blankets off, suddenly suffocating from an inexistent thing. I was surprised to find out that you’re still there, pacing on the side of the bed. Your hand was under your chin as if your thinking hard. It almost convinced me, but the Qtips really look ridiculous and you’re making me dizzy.

 

 

 

I faked coughed.

 

"What?"

 

"Qtips."

 

"yeah yeah, I'm cute. Are you drunk? Just stay there okay? Ima get you a super-hot choco, then you can go home."

 

 

"STUPID!" I threw the book on top of your bed side table at you, fuming that you're seriously considering making me leave. The pacing finally made sense as I pulled the blankets over my head, sighing involuntarily as your scent overwhelms my nostrils. God, I'm going to end up being a creep because of you.

 

 

I felt something fury move towards my arms, and I smiled widely when I realize that it's jj. I pet his head, and let out a loud chuckle when he my cheeks. I kissed his head, momentarily forgetting about the shivering and the annoying.

 

 

 

"miss you jj." I whispered to the dog, moving my left arm around the bed to find the dog’s sibling. Gongu immediately moved to my armpit and curved into a ball there, such a shy cute little thing.

 

 

"Krystal."

 

 

I ignored you, still feeling annoyed. Another shiver.

 

 

"Dudungie."

 

I stopped the smile that is starting to make its way to my face, and moved to my side, facing gongu, my back towards you. JJ didn't seem to like it so I pulled him to me, placing him beside gongu.

 

 

"Princess."

 

 

I was unable to stop the smile that resulted to that. God Amber Liu, stop that I'm still annoyed at you. I didn't move from my position, even if another shiver runs through my body. You should know that I'm still annoyed, I stubbornly convinced myself.

 

 

 

I could feel you pull the covers slowly, as you try to coax me to face you. You’re back to your temperature checking as if I have fever. Dork! I stayed still trying to get away from your touch, even if it feels so warm. I shivered when your skin stops touching mine.

 

 

"Krystal I'll call manager hyung to fetch you here if you won't face me."

 

 

"Amber NO! What’s the point of sneaking if you’re gonna tell him where I am!"

 

 

“hey, truce truce. Won't call him. What's wrong?"

 

 

I ignored you, turning my back against you again. JJ and gongu starts yapping at you, as you try to force me to face you. It made you stop and move away from the bed. You turned off the light and left the room before closing the door silently. I counted in my head as I wait for you to show your llama face again, but I lost count already and you’re still not back.

 

 

 

 

"Stupid!" I murmured frustrated as I pull the covers off. I walked lazily off your bed towards the door, jj and princess on my trail. Another shiver runs through my body, so I reached for one of the hoodies hanging by the hook of your bedroom door. The scent makes sure I know it’s yours and I won’t give it back to you anymore.

 

 

 

 

The dogs and I found you on your kitchen, wearing a black apron over your sleepwear. You have your phone on speaker as you listen to something on YouTube. You're too concentrated in cutting the ingredients that you didn't notice me walk in so Gongu decided to announce our presence.

 

 

You looked up immediately to meet my eyes. The ridiculous smile in your face starts to spread until I can see all of your teeth and leaped towards me, taking off your slippers so I can wear it.

 

 

 

"Hah, I knew it. Hungry?"

 

 

 

I shook my head, still feeling the shivers through my body.

 

 

 

"Too bad I'm cooking porridge for you; maybe I'll just send it over to my neighbor tomorrow morning."

 

 

"You will not!" I said in a cold tone, glaring as hard as I could. Another shiver made me look away. My answer seemed to make you happy because you are beside me in a flash. Pulling my face with your palms, your fingers not touching my skin. I can smell the ginger that you're cutting.

 

 

I scrunched my nose. You imitated me with that stupid smile still on.

 

 

"I'm thinking of adding meat as toppings but since you’re not hungry..." you said, purposefully letting your voice fade dramatically after you made your point. I shoved you with no force at all as another shiver distract me.

 

"Krys you’re still shivering. Are you having chills why didn't you tell me?" you asked in panic all the playfulness in your tone gone.

 

 

The next thing I know, you're pulling off your apron in haste, as you wash your hands in the sink. The porridge already forgotten as you drag me back to your room.

 

 

 

"Stop pulling me!" I whined not really happy about getting dragged for the second time.

 

 

"Won't, sorry baby jung."

 

 

You didn't open the light when we reached your room. You just pulled the covers and push me to lie down, before tucking me to bed again. I wanted to protest but you raise your fingers to my lips, looking at me with so much worry in your face, you almost look like your grimacing at me.

 

 

"I'll be back"

 

 

I just let you be, shivering under the covers. Gosh, why won't this stop already, I've been in your house for probably more than an hour and I'm under thick blankets with your hoody on. I probably feel asleep, because the next thing I know you were lying beside me.

 

 

 

I sighed when I feel your arms pull me close to you.

 

 

"You should've told me." you whispered as you make me face you. I have my eyes close and your embrace just feels so warm, I didn't resist you, but I didn't open my eyes either. I chose not to speak. I don't have anything to say anyway. Your hands move until their encircled around me. Again, I just let you, even if I know you'll feel have sore arms later. I buried my nose in your neck, consciously.

 

 

 

I feel your lips on my head before you speak.

 

 

"Still cold?"

 

 

 

I nodded lazily, clinging to you more. Feeling too comfortable to even think straight about the repercussions of the things that I've done and the things I’ve done the past few minutes.

 

 

You pulled me closer to you as close as it is physically possible. Your hands wrapped to me possessively and it pleases me. Oddly, it pleases me more than the fact that we’re back to our normal selves. My heart is doing its own happy dance without my permission, but I can't bring myself to care at the moment.

 

 

 

This closeness felt different from all the other times. Not because I am shivering like crazy but because we are both being honest to ourselves. Words are not needed at the moment, because at this dimly lit bedroom, we are just Krystal and Amber.

 

 

 

 

The overwhelming feeling, made me whisper in the dark, with my lips softly touching the expose flesh of your neck. It’s those three words again. I don’t know if I hate or like them, but I know those three words are true, so I said them with so much conviction, not brought by the heat of the moment, or any other excuses I can make up for myself. It just felt right to whisper the words with you this close.

 

 

 

"I love you." escaped my parted lips, like a secret promise to the wind and suddenly I can feel your heartbeat racing, trying to chase mine.

 

 

 

For a moment, I thought it'll remain hanging in there like an unanswered prayer because the silence engulfed us again. It’s charged with excitement, the static pricking the hairs at the back of my neck, fascinating, but there’s still calm. The serene that’s always there with you, tender like how the feel of home should be. Contentment makes me not need any answer from you but you did.

 

 

 

"nado saranghe." you said in the language that brought us closer when we we're younger, and I swear I never thought that hearing those words will sound as beautiful as that. I pressed my lips to your neck firmly as an indication that I heard you. My soul heard you clearly and it's making me warm.

 

You answered with a kiss on my head and we stayed like that until I fell asleep.