You are grinning from ear to ear like you have just received the best Christmas present.

It makes my eyes trail slowly on your face with questions dancing in my head. Your eyebrows, your nose, your unique toothy smile, I almost chuckled seeing that again. Almost, but then my gaze moves upwards, meeting yours and it stays there. All questions in my head vanish in an instant. There it is, the ever present sparkle in your eyes. I knew that brightness all too well. It makes me smile as hard as you.

I think I already know.

You are lazily trying to move the strands of hair that are obstructing my eyes. Those fingers doing its feather like thing again as your eyebrows meet in concentration. A few more tries made your frown deepen out of frustration. You must be thinking that my hair is as stubborn as I am because it keeps on coming back but it’s not that. It is full bangs, you pabo!

"Stoooooopid!" I said with a laugh, feeling elated with the familiarity of the moment.

My outburst makes you stop attempting to move the hair off of my face with a huff. Pouting like a little kid you stare helplessly at me, your brown eyes still shining. The look on your face makes me bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from smiling. I smile a lot when I’m with you and it is really unhealthy. No one should be smiling that much. I really must be going crazy.

I'm too busy consciously trying to stop a smile that I got surprised when you stood up all of sudden. A frown registers in my face in a flash. You're not allowed to go just yet, I still miss you. I haven’t told you I miss you. The words die down in my throat when you hurriedly ran off without even saying goodbye. I just watch you silently, the words I fail to say lingering in the air around the room. You are gone and I could only stare blankly at the door's threshold.

Stupid!

I can't help but wonder what's going on inside your head again. You do know I hate it whenever you do that, but you're doing it now of all the times. Why do it when I'm still missing you? That thought makes me so irritated and I can already feel it building up in my chest but it was already gone before I could bursts into a bunch of colorful words. All that's left was the annoying shivering without the warmth of your presence. Something is terribly wrong with me.

It makes me reflect about what I am, who I have become and all those other things, the eccentricities, the normalcy, the boringness of Soojung and the teasing traits of Krystal when I'm with you.

It's really absurd that with the thousand traits I've accumulated as I grow old, the habits that I have acquired, there are just those things about me that I can easily associate with you. It's really nonsensical and it makes my head swim with question and theories, lots of them.

Thankfully, you are back with a pink object in hand before I can ponder about those long lists of ludicrous. I scrunch my nose upon seeing pink. You know how much I dislike that color and I didn't make any effort of hiding it, but like always you shrug my expression off with a toothy smile.

"Now I can see your eyes. I'm the smartest llama ever. Give me five Jung!" you said proudly as you hold me at arm’s length, examining your handy work. You keep ignoring my annoyance and held your hand up looking at me expectantly.

I look back at you with a cold stare. I.HATE.pink. written all over my face.

"Yah! Come on dudungie," A childish whine came from you, your hands still up in the air waiting for a high five.

There’s silence except for the song blaring from the speakers. You’re wiggling your eyebrows as I continued to stare at your raised hand. After a minute of plain staring, you impatiently held my wrist and make our palms touch. The delight in your face makes you look like a lunatic. You must have known it because you laughed and I did too.

I am thinking why am I friends with an adorable imbecile as our laughter reverberate on all corners of the room. There are tears forming in the sides of my eyes. How silly we are when we are alone like this.

It's really hard but we we're able to stop the laughing fit after a while. We just sit side by side, looking ahead. Silence is comfortable. It’s always comfortable with you. I close my eyes to let my other senses guide me. Your scent, your warmth, your mere presence in the room, it calms the anguish.

A mango slice in front of my mouth almost surprises me when I decided to open my eyes again. You are looking at me with that same at-awe-expression every time you're watching me.

I seriously have a problem with that look. It's not bad per se. It's just that it's too inviting that I want to squeeze you in a looong koala hug, but no, I can't do that. It'll make things more complicated than they already are.

We both hate complicated.

Sitting in the kitchen floor eating to our hearts content while listening to my playlist for the day is not complicated, I like it this way, and maybe you do too, because you're here like the good old days. Treating me like a princess. In all honesty, you always made me feel like I am indeed one even without doing anything fancy.

It's the simple things, like listening to the music I listen to even if you're really not a fan of those songs. You even sing when you know the lyrics but most of the time you're just watching me singing my favorite lines. I never really find it unnerving when you watch me closely, maybe because we grew up together; or perhaps it’s because I’m just comfortable with you.

~It doesn't matter when we get back

To doing what we d-~

All time low stops playing, so I look up to the speaker on top of the fridge. Jessica unnie is standing by the door with a pensive expression.

"You need to stop this Krys, Get up, please. Unnie is here again everything will be fine." She said gently before walking towards me.

I want to scream at her to stop, but I can't utter a word so I just sit there and watch her louboutin clad feet move closer. I do not dare look back at you because I know you won’t be there anymore. I just wait for the inevitable as I continue singing where the song abruptly ended.

"Cause right now could last forever just as long as I'm with you. You're just a daydream a-"

Jessica's warm embrace engulfs me and I lost my voice.

"I'm sorry baby...i promise, everything will be fine soon."

A nod from me made her stop saying things we both know are not true and we stayed like that for very long time. I only opened my eyes when I know that the tears won’t fall anymore.

Staring at your supposedly spot in my kitchen floor I can’t help but think that if the daydream didn't end, I do know what to say.

Locked in my sister’s embrace, I knew it now, it's supposedly easy to say and it makes me snort at myself. I'll tell you that I miss you if I had you, but then again, I never had you Amber Josephine Liu.